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Brony 18/07/21(Sat)21:13 No. 782138

File 153220043255.jpg - (54.95KB , 582x764 , wellthathappened.jpg )

>be me, 21, best friends with a guy named derek since 2nd grade
>derek has hot gf of 2 years
>gf named lexi, always wanted to airwolf her, would finally get the chance
>june 8
>3 of us go out to eat
>i third wheel, things going well, until time to pay for the food
>derek's turn, forgot wallet at home, lexi scolds derek, derek's embarrassed
>to save his skin, i pay, niceness leads to me going airwolfing broke
>car ride home an argument ensues, i purposely remain silent, going on snapchat
>is driven home, waving bye to both derek and lexi
>spend rest of day binging game of thrones, falls asleep on couch
>now next week, arguments are now worse, derek gone
>check his discord, pfp black and name "hiatus"
>i worry, call his phone, no answer
>snapchats lexi, responds, derek is okay, just distant from relationship issues
>i understand and give them time
>june 20
>still distant
>lexi snaps me at 10 am, getting ready for the day, not noticing her yet
>lexi airwolfing spams me
>i read paragraphs and the relationship is on thin ice
>lexi invites me over for "advice"
>unaware, i agree
>is 1 pm
>i visit the couple's house, no derek, only lexi
>he's at work
>i meet lexi in bedroom, personal talk
>lexi asks for a quick favor, cheating, being the opportunist i am, i accept her offer
>now nude, laying on the bed, lexi removes her robe, dd tits burst out
>cock gets hard as hell, lexi grabs it, "bigger than derek" she says
>she begins blowing me, best 5 mins. ever
>lexi gets a condom, applying it
>now in reverse cowgirl, fat white ass starts bouncing on cock
>intense session
>derek airwolfing calls and lexi answers, still bouncing
>talking about groceries
>call ends
>we airwolf for 20 more minutes, then we both cum at the same time
>lexi says im better than derek, she swallows my load
>i go home
>that night, snap dm full of lexi's nudes
>we now airwolf weekly
>derek still hasn't found out a month later
>now the side-dude
>cucks best friend
>slight regret, sorry derek



Miku Fanboy 18/07/21(Sat)22:02 No. 782140

Things that never happened by OP

Cryomancer 18/07/21(Sat)22:05 No. 782141

File 153220355260.jpg - (20.01KB , 400x400 , gohanstaresatyourfailure.jpg )

If only you knew me..

W. T. Snacks 18/07/22(Sun)00:20 No. 782142

File 153221163726.jpg - (426.74KB , 1600x912 , IMG_20180617_234403.jpg )

I know you're a fag.

Marisa Kirisame 18/07/22(Sun)03:15 No. 782144

>the side-dude
The thing she uses to punish the man whose feelings she cares about enough to hurt.

Liru Fanboy 18/07/22(Sun)04:05 No. 782146

This quoted greentext shit seems to be fine here on 7chan now. What happened to our rules from yesteryear?

Bob Ross 18/07/22(Sun)05:00 No. 782147

Moderation abandoned their post; newfaggots overran the blockade.
We are living in the crumbling ruins of a once great civilization.

Weeabot 18/07/22(Sun)17:27 No. 782156

I hate when people fake a story and give up on making it believable halfway through. Like, at least try. Not for anyone but literature, just try

p4ch3c0 18/07/22(Sun)19:46 No. 782164

We have to self enforce through open ridicule.

OP, you suck little dicks.

[tags4lyf]PEARS 18/07/22(Sun)23:03 No. 782166

I would add--for literature's sake--do not write in the second person.

>be me
My creative writing teacher would have flogged OP through the streets. It's good to see at least one of 7chan's mods still cares enough to ban a wall of this shit.

The only stories that should be written as a series of imperatives are those for children in preschool:
>See spot.
>See spot run.
>Hop on Pop
This style of writing is easy to read for kids who have not yet developed the intellectual capacity to process the "subject" part of a sentence.

N3X15 18/07/23(Mon)02:00 No. 782169

Only fair, seeing as though green text is for people with the reading skills of first graders.

Spiderman 18/07/23(Mon)04:52 No. 782177

>greentext can be done right, but I'm starting to think 7ch was on to something by banning it after shit like OP

symbion 18/07/24(Tue)01:52 No. 782197

File 153238997178.jpg - (69.29KB , 450x592 , Holy.jpg )

That's a nice idea, but you'll find that some of us are going to ridicule you for being too much of a lazy overweight neckbeard to read the rules.

Grammar Nazis? On my 7chan? It's less likely than you think.

Lorf 18/07/24(Tue)06:08 No. 782205

You're almost there. You've more or less picked up on how people behave on 7chan, but you lack historical context.

tl;dr: Go back to 8chan, silly sausage.

For example:
>a lazy overweight neckbeard
This is not an insult on 7chan; many of us are lazy overweight neckbeards. We're not here because we want to be the cool kids. We're here because it's the only place where we can be ourselves (or maybe for the porn, or recommendations for a good wine to dip your dick in--there are a lot of different boards for different interests).

>read the rules
Rules are subject to change; traditions hold as long as there are oldfaggots to keep them. 7chan is not a place where bucking tradition makes you cool. Behaving like history doesn't matter is going to get you called out for your newfaggotry.

>Grammar Nazis
Grammar Schutzstaffel.

Nyan Cat 18/07/24(Tue)18:35 No. 782208

>read the rules
Come to think of it, you obviously haven't--banning of greentext was always an unwritten rule, one of those >>/#id126 sadly given up on by our malevolent moderation.
You can read the FAQ to learn about the proper use of greentext.

Christian Weston Chandler 18/07/25(Wed)06:37 No. 782218

That's right, everyone you talk to is Dave.

Start taking your meds or I'll call the judge again.

Novice Equestrian 18/07/25(Wed)06:47 No. 782219

Come to think of it, you clearly have bothered to finally go to the home page and read what's written there, yet haven't taken a moment to stop and think about what it means in the context of 7chan and how you need to change to suit it.

The world will not change to suit your psychosis. You must change to suit the world. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you'll finally get out of your parents basement... and maybe, eventually, stop having to take those pills.

Now hurry on upstairs, grandma wants her dinner.

Brony 18/07/25(Wed)12:33 No. 782225

You've got it backwards; I am Dave.

This is the schizophrenic newfag you are looking for: >>782219, >>782197

>You must change to suit the world.
Spoken like a true newfaggot.

Miku Fanboy 18/07/25(Wed)18:15 No. 782239

They're both newfags.

Also fuсk you, David. Die of cancer already, you fuсking faggot

Panawave 18/07/25(Wed)20:54 No. 782243

>I am Dave
That sounds like something Davespiracy would say.

h 18/07/26(Thu)02:43 No. 782258

Unfortunately you are correct.

Davespiracy tends to engage in precisely the behavior he accuses everyone else (who he thinks are me) of: pretending to be people other than one's self.

For example: >>782239
Davespiracy is talking about himself (and me) in the third person.
>fuсk you
Only Davespiracy is this butthurt, which is why I suspect this is his post.

I have been coming here for the purpose of being myself since there was a 7chan skyhouse (unfortuately, no pics, that PC is long lost).

Davespiracy appeared here in March 2016 for the purpose of shitting up the board.

4chan user 18/07/26(Thu)05:24 No. 782260

Oops, I think I meant March 2015. During the campaign season, he rode in on a wave a failfrog-posting alt-right manbabies like himself. Hard to believe it's been over three years since we diagnosed this cancer.

I really wish I had screenshotted all of these threads from the beginning. I'd love to illustrate Davespiracy's evolution from hardly-English speaking stalker, to cowering victim of his own paranoia, to disinformation and emulation. He really wants people to think he belongs here, but his mental illness and inability to lurk will always make him obvious.

W. T. Snacks 18/07/26(Thu)08:05 No. 782263

File 15325851348.gif - (0.99MB , 500x315 , Fruit.gif )

I still suspect that Dave and Davespiracy are the same person posting on different devices. Dave posts from home on his computer/tablet/whatever. Davespiracy is Dave posting from his T-Mobile phone.

ian 18/07/26(Thu)08:28 No. 782264

There's no way I can really prove to you that this is not the case, but the mods would know. GeoIP would show that I post from Japan, while Davespiracy posts from somewhere T-Mobile is available (most likely the US, despite his poor English skills).

O.P. 18/07/26(Thu)13:11 No. 782269

File 153260346867.png - (1.60MB , 1080x1440 , sketch-1532604438072.png )

How about this. Of course, 7chan/b being the anonymous board that it is, there's no way for an ordinary poster to conclusively demonstrate whose posts are whose, but if you are aware that Davespiracy uses T Mobile, and that service is not available in Japan, I present the reciept for the burger and hotdog I am enjoying at MOS Burger. It's written in moon runes, and I don't expect anyone to read it, but you could check the date and time printed, and my observe my ugly face.

Nyan Cat 18/07/27(Fri)02:13 No. 782279

>despite his poor English skills
>and my observe my ugly face.
You're a fuсking cartoon character.
Where are you idiots getting tmobile from?

[tags4lyf]PEARS 18/07/27(Fri)03:33 No. 782281

You posted sceenshots from your phone.

Liru Fanboy 18/07/27(Fri)03:58 No. 782282

When? That doesn't sound like me as I've never had t-mobile nor would I ever pay for network access of any kind.

Bill 18/07/27(Fri)08:15 No. 782286

I could be mistaken, perhaps you aren't Davespiracy.

When he was stalking me, and making empty threats against my friends and family, he posted screenshots of the super-secret publically available information he'd gathered. Some of the images were uncropped, and clearly showed his carrier was t-mobile.

>nor would I ever pay for network access of any kind
So you only use the internet in cafés and public libraries?

symbion 18/08/05(Sun)19:55 No. 782430

A mod posted in that thread stating that Davespiracy was posting from an IP owned by T-Mobile.

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