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Tally ho, chap! Let me tell you of my own unique instance in which I actually found myself conversing with a true man of the jungle! Unlikely as it may seem, this is to be take entirely for truth, I assure you. It began one fine day, as I sat upon my plantation porch watching my workers--not slaves, mind you, I am a man of refinement after all--in the field toiling amidst the cotton and tobacco plants. Most were of the negro variety, but I see that they too resemble my form and as I take care of my dogs, so I should care and fraternize with these who are very nearly my own kinsmen of special descent. Working beside them were the men of lower class, but this story concerns little if then, except a particularly rowdy caucasian--in skin only, I assure you--who had chosen to take a fight with Wilson, one my most trusted Negros, for singing one of those spirituals of his people. I of course take no offense to this less-than-refined expression of self,seeing as it does come from a less-than-refined species of man. Orson, the Caucasian, would have none of that though. Seeing an intervention necessary, I hurriedly walked to the site, after removing my house shoes and changing into my field wear. Entering the vicinity, Orson saw and shouted--pardon my French; I am merely delivering the man's words--, "hot damn! The n---erlover is gonna settle this s--t!?" Even with my refined censorship, I am shocked at his crass attitude, but still I must continue. Orson whipped a pistol--a pistol!--and pointes the damn thing at my countenance, so seeing my death nigh, I did as any sane man would do and began shouting my will in death for the world to hear, as I had no recorded history of such. Seeing an opportunity to redeem myself, I declared a large portion of land--nearly half an acre--be left debt free to the Negros. My hopes were certainly met, as Wilson saved my life. Grabbing the overseers whip from his horse--even paid workers need motivation after all--he slashed with skill as I had never seen, cleanly severing the gun, as well as a few fingers, from Orson's hand. And so I actually found myself thanking a negro! Oh, the humanity...