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John Smith 16/09/08(Thu)02:29 No. 45598
45598

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What is your worst irrational fear, John?

Mine is the fear of complete isolation. Quite odd considering I'm an introvert.

Yours Truly,
John


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John Smith 16/09/08(Thu)09:01 No. 45602

>>45598
Beg your pardon, John, but didn't you say this was about irrational fears? Yours doesn't sound irrational.

Even when it's not often when you go seek it, it's nice to know that you can go talk with someone if you want to. It's when you know that that's not even possible when it becomes terrifying and you wonder what you've done with your life to make that happen.

My most acute feelings of isolation are ironically when I'm with large groups. I feel as though I'm on the edge of everyone's social circles, never close enough to anyone to be part of any of the circles of conversation that form.

The good news is that as long as you have an Internet connection you'll still have a connections to your fellow Johns here, and that ain't nothing.


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John Smith 16/09/08(Thu)13:24 No. 45604
45604

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I have an irrational fear of cutting boards. I do not use them to slice food on, and touching them is highly unpleasant. Certain other textures are also highly unpleasant to touch (upholstery, clothing, some types of paper), but I prefer to call it a cutting board phobia because it sounds funny to me.

I also recently discovered I have a phobia of "things that are bigger than normal". Oversized novelty pencils and push pins are a typical offender; the other day I saw a huge roadworks roadsign, which also looked very disturbing to me.


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John Smith 16/09/08(Thu)20:55 No. 45605

>>45604

I can relate in some way, John. I find the thought of my nails on paper towel to be the absolute worst texture. And yes, I guess the thought of imagining a class room full of kids using oversized pencils is definitely weird.

Regards,
John


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John Smith 16/09/09(Fri)05:40 No. 45606

>>45598
I have a nagging, irrational fear of time going by. I lose time, and tend to be late for things. After over a decade of consistent failure, I've developed a tendancy to literally jump out of bed with my heart racing. I remain in such a state of panic until I can verify that I still have enough time to get ready for work, etc.

I also tend to panic several times throughout the day; obsessively checking clocks and feeling like I forgot an important appointment.


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John Smith 16/09/10(Sat)21:26 No. 45610

I really don't like people touching that Adams apple area of my neck. I flinch out and it makes me very uncomfortable. I can barely watch scenes in movies where people's throats are slit. Its a very sensitive area for me.

Which is interesting because when I am aroused I do enjoy being choked sometimes. I think I like giving someone that personal level of control over me. Being vulnerable or something. Who knows, john.


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John Smith 17/02/24(Fri)00:33 No. 45906

>>45606

dear john,

I do the same thing, I wish I could make it stop.

best regards, john


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John Smith 17/03/11(Sat)05:55 No. 45927
45927

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I'm afraid of having an imperfect memory. I don't sweat the details, I don't mind not having a photographic memory per se, but I am deeply afraid of losing touch with my most valuable impressions, because I feel that if I could do something with these impressions I could make them my home and never have to leave.

In a sense, my worst fears have already come true.

>>45606
Are you late for a very important date, John?


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John Smith 17/03/11(Sat)14:17 No. 45930

I'm not sure I know what an irrational fear is John.


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John Smith 17/03/12(Sun)04:26 No. 45932

Is any fear rational? Of course not. If it depends on you, change it; if it doesn't, well, then that's it.
What's the worst thing that can happen to you? Call it dying, being rejected by others, experiencing pain... is it something worth being afraid of? Sure it's not, it's just the way of nature, it will eventually happen to you no matter your opinion of it or your will to avoid it.
I'm only afraid of forgetting this at a crucial moment. That's why I remind it to me so often.


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John Smith 17/03/12(Sun)04:49 No. 45933

>>45932
Are you the rare John of Wisdom?


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John Smith 17/03/13(Mon)07:01 No. 45937

I'm afraid of going deaf or blind. There is something about the tought of being unable to ever see or listen any kind of artistic expression, should it be great songs or a painting that could catch my eye. I find it very unlikely anything that would leave me deaf or blind could happen to me but it really frightens me. (I apologize for my english should it be neccesary)


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John Smith 17/03/14(Tue)17:56 No. 45940

>>45932
I have a fear of getting into fights even though I am more than able to defend myself because of violent psychotic urges that demand that I murder those people so they can't continue to pose a threat to life or property in a future altercation or to be able to seek revenge. Very powerful urge barely controllable


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John Smith 17/03/15(Wed)03:27 No. 45941

>>45940
You're either afraid of losing control or afraid of getting hit.

I doubt you're a pussy, John.
>Didn't have a dad, or dad was a pussy that never expressed real, testosterone induced anger
Fight or flight anger is for women.


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John Smith 17/03/16(Thu)08:09 No. 45943

>>45941
I have been in fights before and done some sparring without incident, but have also seriously injured undeserving people because of this shit john, but you're right I often feel like I'm a pussy for trying to avoid conflict like I do. I'm a very conflicted person john and also autistically obsess about, plot, and plan murders(but 4d chess status sometimes its like im possessed for lack of a better word or that they're already planned and i just get intense flashes of shit thats disorienting) . I wish it would just stop...


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John Smith 17/03/20(Mon)03:20 No. 45950

>>45610
John, I too share your "neck phobia"
Although I do not find being choked to be arousing


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John Smith 17/03/20(Mon)07:28 No. 45951

>>45943
Yep that's all pretty normal. Took me years to be able to vent in front of others, would instead keep it to myself. A brooding sort of hatred develops, symptoms that beta males are used to but men like us, John? Men who are capable, know they are, but are also intelligent enough to be aware of all potential consequences branching off from such confrontational behavior?
We're a different sort, brother, so don't hold back. You don't earn respect, John. You command it.


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John Smith 17/03/21(Tue)04:40 No. 45952
45952

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Over-flowing toilets. Like, when the water is just below the rim of the bowl? It scares me. Really.


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John Smith 17/09/08(Fri)00:52 No. 46195

Dear Johnny,

I consider myself lucky to have none, though I do have fears that are rational. I will fear things such as carcrashes and my light chest pains, though ultimately I only fear bigger than life sorts of things, maybe not actually in the scope of rationality. The concept of space for example is terrifying but beautiful to me, I don't want to die to a black hole but I do want to see it before I die as it is theorized you wouldn't just die immediately but you would see a lightshow before it finally sucked all the oxygen from earth where then I would die. Things such as a pulsing star potentially emitting a ray so strong it obliterates the earth does not scare me as that would be instant though a meteor I would probably spend inside maybe even on here away from some madness. Death itself does not scare me but the concept that I wouldn't feel like I have seen everything I should have before dying does, like I was put here to appreciate everything and squandered that.



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