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John Smith 17/10/17(Tue)21:02 No. 46237
46237

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Hi John,

Just wanted to know how you were doing.
Please get back to me when you can.

Regards,

John


>>
John Smith 17/10/17(Tue)21:38 No. 46238

John,

thank you for your concern. That's very kind of you and i appreciate you asking how i am doing.

i am doing alright. i finally got some sleep last night, which was great because i usually have a lot of trouble sleeping. i feel a lot better today.

today i thought i might try something different, so after i made some coffee, i made myself a grilled ham and cheese sandwich with kimchi. it was very good. but it doesn't stop there. i asked my roommate if i could use her icecream, and she said yes, as long as i put it back in the freezer and don't leave it out. i said thank you, and then started rummaging around in the kitchen. i discovered today that we have a blender. then, i remembered that she also bought milk a few days ago. so, using these 4 things (coffee, milk, ice cream, blender) i made.... a milkshake. i shared some with my roommate.
it was very good. i rarely eat icecream because it makes me sad. but today it didn't make me sad, it was rather enjoyable.

now i am sitting in an arm chair and vaping and enjoying the cool autumn air. i like keeping the windows open in the summer and, while it is very cold in the early mornings now, i still enjoy having the windows open on fall afternoons. it's very pleasant. i might go for a walk later.

how are you doing, john?
have you been well?

yours,

John


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John Smith 17/10/17(Tue)23:14 No. 46240

>>46238
Hi John,

Thank you for the prompt response.

I'm glad to hear that you're doing well.

Let me tell you that reading the events of your day gave me great joy and it had me very excited.

Your politeness and kindness towards your roommate is truly heart warming. I particularly enjoyed the part where you shared some of your delicious-seeming milkshake with her.

But John, you had me wondering: why does ice cream make you sad?

I am not very fond of ice cream, but I never thought it could trigger such a strong emotion.

Would you care to elaborate on that?

Regards,

John


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John Smith 17/10/23(Mon)02:19 No. 46248

>>46238
>>46240
Hi john,

I hope I am not replying at too late of a time. I just discovered this site and the messages. I found your story about the milkshake interesting and am too very fond of the kindness you showed. I too am the same with the window situation, I cant leave them open in the summer as it gets far too hot here, but in the autumn and winter I very much enjoy the crisp air.
Tell us why ice cream makes you sad soon please. I am interested. Hopefully I will get to read your replies on a night much like tonight. Autumn air crisp and flowing through the window, candle lit, a very good murakami novel, and a bottle of jameson to warm me.
I look forward to hearing from you again.
Thank you,
John


>>
John Smith 17/10/23(Mon)04:13 No. 46250

John,

i apologize for my absence, things have been somewhat hectic lately, and my mental state has been rather poor. i will now tell you the tale of why icecream makes me sad, and i also found some things you said very enjoyable and i would like to comment on those things as well. but i will get to that in a moment. i would like to warn you though, i am afraid you will find my story rather unpleasant. i hope that is okay.

>>46238

>Your politeness and kindness towards your roommate
unfortunately, we do not get along often. i live with my partner and his younger sister, and i find her extremely frustrating and annoying most of the time. however, i know that we are family, even though family is something that is new to me and something that i have great difficulty understanding, due to the situation of my birth and how i was raised. very long story short, i come from a very mentally ill and addiction-prone blood line, and i was adopted as a baby (after staying a few months in a nunnery) because my mother couldn't take care of me and the state pressured her to give me up because of her some incidents that occurred with my older brother (may he rest in peace), and i was adopted. my adoptive parents were wonderful when i was very young, but as i got older they got more.. experimental with handling me, and this in tandem with their frustration and impatience led to some abuse for a few years. family is something that just confuses me, and i always see happy families in the movies and i am always envious of that, but when it actually happens, when i actually have people in my life to consider family, it just.. feels strange and confusing. Anyways, to continue with my story, we do not get along very often, and i find her annoying and frustrating, but lately i have been making an effort to be more kind and understanding and patient, to really try to understand how a family works, and to really let it happen. thus, the offering of the milkshake, the engaging in conversation, and so on.

>why does ice cream make you sad?

i am not sure if "sad" is the precise emotion i feel. it's difficult to describe, and i already have difficulty recognizing different feelings. It just makes me feel sad and guilty and sick and some other feelings because of my parents. it seems like a childhood favorite that would be shared with friends and enjoyed with family, and i did have icecream with my parents occasionally as a rare special treat, but it just seems so foreign for some reason. my childhood seems so... hazy. like if you were too at in a pool of water, the water would be churning, or in a mirror, the mirror would be cracked. something just seems so off about it. but to be more direct, my parents gave me medication because they thought i had ADHD. i don't know if i do or not. but that doesn't matter. what matters is that they thought i did, and the solution to that is pills. unfortunately, there were many problems with that for me. for one, i had great difficulty swallowing the pills. i don't know why, i just can't swallow pills. they get caught in my throat and i can't swallow them. the second thing was that the pills they gave me made me feel horrible. i couldn't sleep, i lost a lot of weight and was very sickly and thin, i felt cloudy and hazy, i felt sick. but me being less hyper was worth it to them, i suppose. i have never been the same since then. but anyway, so i stopped taking the pills. i would hide them in my cheek or do other things to deceive them. they found out of course, and starting being more watchful, then trying to help, but eventually getting more forceful. it started with them checking by opening my mouth and using their fingers to check in my gums and cheeks, then trying to make it easier for me by putting medicine my food, (they tried icecream, which is probably why i don't like icecream) but then the food would just make me sick, and so they started giving me time limits. "two minutes" my dad would say. "take the pills in two minutes or you'll have to do pushups, then try again". so i would do pushups every morning because i couldn't take the pills. eventually this led to them getting frustrated and upset and there was one day when my mother kicked me while i was on the ground because i hadn't taken the pills yet. there was one day when i had stalled for too long, and they decided to just force me to take them. my dad restrained me and held me down and pulled my hair to pull my head back and my mother opened my mouth and pushed the pills in. i remember crying and feeling violated and terrified. i never trusted them again after that. i remember crying out about wanting to die because i felt so sick and horrible all the time (i was about 10 or 11 years old, maybe 12 at the oldest), and my dad told me that i had nothing to complain about, that he worked with people that had real problems. my dad is a psychiatrist.
anyways, that is the story of why i don't like icecream. it reminds me of my parents and my childhood. i suppose i don't have a lot to complain about, because i did have a roof over my head, hot meals, and parents. but there were many things they did to me and said to me that were very upsetting, and i have only recently realized that they damaged me when i was a child, and that i need to work through that.
so that is why i don't like icecream.

i apologize if that was too much information or too unpleasant or too interesting.

>>46248

oh, are you new to 7chan or just to /eh/?
either way, it's wonderful to have you here. i'm glad you could join us. it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, John.
this thread is a mite more interesting and lively than usual, so i suppose it's not the best starter. but we can move back into small talk about the autumn weather and get things back in order.

i hope to be more kind to my partner's sister in time. it is difficult. i suppose the problem is not with her, but with me. i am not good with people, i tend to be somewhat cold and aloof, but also annoyed with how most people behave. i hope to be more warm and kind in the future. my partner told me today that if i continue to act that way, to treat people coldly and let go of people easily, that they will do the same to me, and i will end up more alone than i already am. i only have a few friends, and we are not very close anymore. but, i suppose i am okay with that. i don't want to be kind and warm just so people will be kind to me. i want to be kind and warm and nice because there have been times people have shown me kindness and generosity, and it was quite heartwarming and made a huge difference in my life. i want to be able to do that for others, too, regardless of if i get something in return.

i greatly enjoy the cool, crisp air as well. i live nearby a lake, so it is fairly windy, and it is a wonderful feeling to have the autumn air gust around. the temperature and scent and general atmosphere are positively delightful. i hope to do the same in the winter, though winters here are awfully cold. perhaps i will have to just step outside to enjoy the air for a moment before returning to the apartment.

> Autumn air crisp and flowing through the window, candle lit, a very good murakami novel, and a bottle of jameson to warm me.

John, that sounds like a perfect evening. i am delighted to hear you have such wonderful things in your life and that you take the time to appreciate them. it sounds very cozy.

do you mean Haruki Murakami? if not, oh well. if so, i've just recently learned of his works and i am looking into reading (or rather, listening, because i prefer audiobooks due to my somewhat poor vision and headaches) his novels. they seem very interesting. do you have any suggestions for a book to start with?

i've been listening to the audiobook of Anne Rice's Interview with the Vampire again lately. i am very fond of that book, and her writing style. Are you familiar with her works?

i hope you find yourself well, and i look forward to speaking with you again soon.

Kindest regards,

John


>>
John Smith 17/10/23(Mon)14:18 No. 46251

>>46250
Good morning John,

I am very happy that you could reply. I am very sorry to hear about the story behind the ice cream and the traumatization that must have caused. I would hope you find a way to move past those negatives spiritually and not to let it define the life that you live.

> i only have a few friends, and we are not very close anymore. but, i suppose i am okay with that. i don't want to be kind and warm just so people will be kind to me. i want to be kind and warm and nice because there have been times people have shown me kindness and generosity, and it was quite heartwarming and made a huge difference in my life. i want to be able to do that for others, too, regardless of if i get something in return.
I really relate with you here. I myself am a very lonely person and have a few friends, some of them extroverts that try and drag me out to have fun, but my introverted nature is slowly driving them away from me I think. Ill be sad to lose friends, but at the same time I cannot see it have a major affect on my life. I feel like any negative emotion or heartbreak that arises out of it will make me a colder stronger individual. You're not weird or out of place like I think some people would have you believe. I think our personalities are just ones that fall into the greater side of analysis or introspective. One thing that helped me in dealing with this emotion was the intake of several surreal novels( I am quite drawn more towards Japanese surreal literature) and the takeup of inner spiritual enlightenment. I hope maybe any thing Ive said can lend aid.

I am new to both 7chan and /eh/. Thank you for your warm welcome.

Yes I am referring to Haruki Murakami,I fell in love with his novels after a rather bad heartbreak and they gave me quite a bit of insight about myself. Some of his novels really cater to males more than not (Men without Women, Norwegian Wood) but others are great for anyone. The books that have helped me the most are:

The colorless Life of Tsukuru Tazaki and his years of pilgrimage

Kafka on the shore.

I believe both have audiobook versions.
One of his newer novels men without women is a compilation of short stories, that might be suited to you so your eyes are not fatigued.

I have heard of anne rices interview with a vampire and had it on my list to read at one point. I sate somebody that was rather hurtful to me though and the movie was something we bonded over so I tended to avoid it as it brought back some bit of pain.

The air around your lake sounds like a dream come true, I could almost imagine it is absolutely breathtaking in the winter to look upon covered in snow. I was in South Korea during an army enlistment and got to see the lakes and mountains covered in snow, it was one of the most cleansing and surreal images I've ever lain eyes upon. I wish one day to see it again.

I hope you're enjoying your morning and stay warm as it sounds like it is already beginning to get chilly there. I am going to shoot a little today then possibly see somebody for coffee. I do keep the murakami novels in an epub form if youre ever interested.

Have a wonderful day John,

Thank you,

John


>>
John Smith 17/10/24(Tue)19:46 No. 46255

Good afternoon, John,

I am struggling bringing myself to work. I have what many people may find to be a dream job: I work from home, make my own hours and my boss encourages me to "round up" my hours to the nearest 10. That said, I don't particularly like the field I got my degree in. My parents pressured me to go to college when I did not want to go, so I picked a field I had studied back in middle school as a hobby.

Nowadays, I am not at all like what I was like in middle school, and I find this particular field to be quite drab. I don't hate it, but I often struggle to bring myself to work.

Some people tell me to quit, but it's not like I'd enjoy any other kind of work, either.


>>
John Smith 17/10/25(Wed)00:35 No. 46256
46256

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>>
John Smith 17/10/26(Thu)14:15 No. 46258

>>46255
John,

I am very sorry to hear that you do not particularly enjoy the field that you are in. I think you should take up some hobbies in your spare time until you find something youd like to study and work on that.

life is much too short to spend it doing something you would not like to do when you dont have to. Do you get what Im explaining here. What is the point in it if it does not bring you somekind of introspective revelation or spiritual enjoyment. Find your passion and pursue it man. The rest will follow in due time.

I truly do wish you the absolute best and hope you find happiness and wellness.

Regards,
John



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