I'm going to agree with you, OP. Nothing makes a story harder to read than every other line being "OOOOOHHHH GOOODDD FUCKKK YYYEEEEESSSS FUUUUCKING FUUUCK MEEEEE OOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!"

Poor formatting is also a pet peeve of mine: break that shit up into paragraphs, people!

Ooooh, fun! I don't have any particular pet-peeves, but I think this thread could be both very helpful & highly educational.

As an aside, and towards the aim of writing improvement, I whole-heartfelt encourage any aspiring writers on this site to look up Phil Phantom's spectacular 'Guide to Writing Good Trash' - it is, in my opinion, all but required reading for genre-fiction authors of ANY stripe.

Skipping details and/or perfectly good opportunities for a sex scene.

Example:
"I knew what we were doing was wrong. I knew it would lead to trouble, but I was already hooked. I could not resist her. We had sex again that night.

The next day, we..."

Fucking don't do it. We're reading /elit/ for one main reason, and the parts of the story that don't contain sex aren't it.

Any descriptions about fecal matter, asslicking, etc. There are enough pornos out there if I was interested, I don't need to read about it.

>>13900
THIS!

I can only find it tolerable when it's a coupling that has been repeated a few times already.

Even if it's going to be a short little description about some "vanilla" sex act at least give a little bit of a description.

If you don't feel like writing sex scenes then please don't feel obligated to post on /elit/

It's annoying as is that a lot of people now do the "SORRY NO SEX FIRST CHAPTER DON'T HATE ME" but hit the post limit. You really couldn't fit a little bit in the 1st chapter? Really?

Pick a tense and stick with it. Do not, in one scene/post, go from past tense to present tense and back at random. That's jarring as fuck. You're not Christopher Nolan.

In fact if you don't REALLY know what you're doing (and trust me, you don't (sorry)), just write in the past tense.

Also capitalizing random things is weird. Not really something I hate, just... weird. It can be jarring sometimes. Depends what I've been reading lately.

Overusing the word "slow" and all variations of it.

SHE SLOWLY MOVED TOWARDS HIM IN A SLOW MANNER AND SLOWLY UNBUTTONED HIS SHIRT WHILE HE SLOWLY GOT ERECT.

Find another word, god DAMN it.

>>13962
I don't agree with your last statement. If it's going to be a long series, or longer than three chapters, there needs to be a setting. A plot needs to be established. I'd much rather have a setting, an explanation of the world of the story, than sex in the first chapter.

That's my two cents. I feel it helps you get into the character's world; hell, become the character, and walk through that character's sexual triumphs. If there is no backbone, I don't care much about the characters, and then I don't care much about the story.

But I'm a mediocre writer, so what do I know.

I have encountered one author who tends to describe sex acts in language so flowery that it is sometimes difficult to determine what actually took place.

http://www.asstr.org/~vivian/

‎"lucid dreaming of stardust alive"

This phrase actually occurred in a sex scene.

I was entranced... a beautiful smile lit
up her face as she walked towards me...
"So, Mr. Peters, what would you like for
dessert?" I couldn't contain myself any
longer... I had to touch her...
everywhere. I lifted up my hand brushing
it lightly over her cheek... and tickled
her jaw... while her hair... flowed over
my hand

That shit. That shit right there. It has got to stop.

(A) The ellipsis ... is not a god damn comma, people. You use comma for breaks and ... for breaks where there, grammatically, shouldn't be a break.

(B) PARAGRAPH BREAKS! PARAGRAPH BREAKS FOR THE THREE-LEGGED LOVE GOD.

(C) Use the natural line break of wherever you're writing.

The above would be much better as:

I was entranced. A beautiful smile lit up her face as she walked towards me and asked; "So, Mr. Peters, what would you like for dessert?"

I couldn't contain myself any longer, I had to touch her... everywhere. I lifted up my hand brushing it lightly over her cheek. I tickled her jaw and enjoyed the feel of her lustrous hair.




I mean, that's not art but at least it won't make my English teacher hang himself in shame.

The word 'vagina'. Just not hot at all.

Ending a story with...

"...But that's another story!"

It's not cute...don't do it.

>>13960
that's what tags are for. There are people out there looking for erotic stories about things you don't like.

as for my general criticisms of erotic lit., I really hate it when the narrator draws attention to the improbability of the story, because it really makes it hard to suspend disbelief and immerse myself in the fantasy. An example would be this incest story i'm currently reading, which is actually pretty good, but the author continues to have the narrator say things like: "I watched my sister lick my girlfriend's dripping slit and thought to myself THAT IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE," or "I grinned as I sank into my sister's pussy, thinking how UNBELIEVABLY lucky I was."

Way to ruin what you're writing, buddy.

In most writing, I am an advocate of minimalism. For erotic literature, a term here used to mean "word porn," I advocate the opposite: vivid detail and lewd descriptions are part and parcel of erotic writing during sex scenes. There's a reason for this: with most writing, the characters and/or plot are the key features, not the physical details of what's happening in a scene. Whether a table is a square, a rhombus, or a non-Euclidean hyperdesk isn't relevant to the story. In porn, the details are everything. I'm not focusing on characters or plot orany other bullshit; I want to envision people fucking, and the best way to do that is salacious, visceral detail. "Insert tab A into slot B" is not erotica, that's an assembly manual.

There are a few things I hate about writing in general though. For instance:

Misuse of punctuation. It's minor, but it's noticeable.

Stating the obvious. Write a story for idiots and only idiots will read it.

Telling and never showing, or showing and never telling. Find a balance.

Adverbs.

Moderate to severe grammatical errors. Not trivial shit like the split infinitive, but the kind of mistakes that either leave you thinking the writer never proofread his/her own work, or make the text impossible to decipher, such as dangling modifiers.

Feel free to break any of these rules before doing something barbaric.

Over use of words like "massive" following each other in like the next 4 sentences.

Girls getting pleasure out of being raped for the first time. They can orgasm, but the pain would over power and good sensations.

Hitting the cervix is unpleasurable always. Unless the character is a masochist.

1.Foul mouthed women "AHH FUCK YEAH FUCK MY DIRTY PUSSY AND FIST MY STUPID SHITTER ARRGH"

2.Continuously using different slang terms for the genitalia "Then I shoved my fuckstick into her kidmaker whilst pushing my arm up her shitbox. Then I put my entire meatpole down her mouthcunt etc etc"

The English language apparently has a serious deficit of words for the facial expressions people produce when they experience pleasure. Obviously that is a problem in /elit/'s business of pleasure.

The smile(a closed mouth with raised corners), the grin/grimace (a mouth open to expose teeth), the odd smirk are much overused to describe a great number of different expressions. The way lips purse, contort, and drag along the teeth. The way cheeks rise and twist. The things nostrils, eyes, eyebrows, and jaws do. Very informative and very erotic details no pornographer could do without. It pisses me off to see "She smiled happily at him" or "He was wearing his shit eating grin beaming in her direction" every other sentence (or at all really).

It also bothers me when authors dither character's attributes. A completely average character is as indistinct, dull, and unrelatable as the Mary Sue that the author is avoiding. People are better at some thing than others and have idiosyncratic quarks and history.

"He wasn't smart, but he wasn't an idiot either. His intelligence was exactly average at 100 IQ. There was nothing at all remarkable about him except that the author decided to mention his averageness to give the impression that he was some sort of plastic everyman that anyone with 100 IQ could relate. He loved this woman who was neither pretty or ugly, tall or short, buxom or thin, blonde or brunette, young or old, and was a creole of all human clines that had an orgy in their cowtown before wiping everyone's memory. Her complete averageness somehow completely escaped the attention of science."

My pet peeve is people that don't seem to know the difference between its and it's, or there, their, and they're.

I hate when the entire fucking story focuses on the seduction or whatever. I love a storyline and build-up as much as the next guy, but I absolutely hate it when the following happens:

>>Pages upon pages of a guy seducing a girl and trying to get her in the sack.
>>Eventually, he succeeds.
>>"That night, we made love."
>>That's all it says. And then the story ends.

GODDAMMIT DON'T DO THAT FOR FUCK'S SAKE

One of my pet peeves is when someone takes the time to write a story that ISN'T elit, and is some shitty parody, to prove some point that really doean't matter about how they see the /elit/ board, and then everyone's all like 'bump', or 'sticky' or some shit.

Here's how I see it.
They wasted time and space to make some sort of parody of an elit, when they could have just made one.

The thing I hate MOST about almost all the stories here is the stupid references to the author's nerdy interests. I'm reading erotic literature, I don't wanna hear about some fucking video game.

First thing: I'll read pretty much anything if it suits my tastes. I've read stuff full of typos and poor syntax because I thought the story was good.

From my experience reading a shit ton of erotic stories, though, I suppose using words poorly and stacking adjectives needlessly. A lot of people don't seem to understand what languid, just that it seems like a sensual term. A good sample of awful adjective stacking would be from this story I found just a couple days ago but otherwise enjoyed:

"She marched into the house confident that Danny was behind her and not even thinking that he was staring at her round, plump, smooth ass through the short thin robe. Her long smooth legs were displayed beneath the robe, and her blonde hair was piled in a haphazard bun."

I don't need to know the exact age, height, weight, bust size, penis size or body fat percentage of every character. These details usually only serve as a distraction and make it harder to concentrate on the action because your mind is too busy reminding you that his cock is precisely 6.5" long and she's 5'6" tall.

There are better, sexier ways to describe the way someone looks without giving enough measurements to make them a bespoke suit.

Let the reader have some leeway in their imagination.

>The thing I hate MOST about almost all the stories here is the stupid references to the author's nerdy interests. I'm reading erotic literature, I don't wanna hear about some fucking video game

gotta disagree there. I think it adds personality to the piece. I first got turned onto Last Airbender from reading My Private Camwhore.

>>14379
Ha... the funny thing is, I originally got interested in A:TLA because of the cartoon porn of it.

It's the circle of life.

>>14371
THIS. FUCKING HELL THIS RIGHT HERE! A good story vaguely describes how the main characters looks like, and so should an elit aswell!

I hate when writers bring up impregnation, boner killing shit right here.

>>14074
Excellent points, all.

Here's some sand I often find in otherwise delicious cake:

"My darling little honeycunt, there's nothing I'd love more than giving you peritonitis by stirring your insides with my 10" steel-hard jackhammer of flesh, but if your Mom or kindergarten teacher finds out, I'll be in big trouble."

1)Learn your anatomy.

2)Stop wasting half your story apologizing for breaking the law.

By the way, good anatomy doesn't just protect your lolis, it protects you, too. Go ahead, face fuck a six year old, and get back to us on having her teeth skin your cock. Even adult women typically don't deep throat; it's virtually impossible for a loli.

It can improve your writing as well. You can face fuck her, or you can describe exactly what she has to do with lips and tongue to get around not being able to deep throat you.

(Much of this doesn't apply to extreme BDSM, torture, and snuff, of course, but that's not where my interests lie.)

A couple of general writing hitches.

Adverbs. Seriously, be terribly suspicious of -ly words. You can usually find a verb that precisely describes the action without the adverb.

"He suddenly stood up."
"He jumped up."

Then there's redundancy:
"He quickly ran to the store."
"Ran" implies "quickly".

Or you're focusing on the wrong thing: "He quickly slapped her." What you mean is, "His slap surprised her."

Something else I fall prey to is action lists:
"She unzipped his pants, reached into his shorts, pulled out his cock, and kissed the tip."

Bleagh. Try: "After taking his cock from his pants, she kissed the tip."

Or go into detail with intent:

[[She fumbled his pants open, but as she fished his cock out, it scraped on the zipper.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she cried, and without thinking, kissed the offended member.]]

Practice reading published works to see how your favorite authors do things. The story will be distracting at first, but you need to learn to see the leaves and branches as well as the forest.

A note on OP's complaint concerning "comic book" dialog. Excellent point, anon. I myself have a habit of using... ellipses, to indicate hesitancy, or a character editing their thoughts as they speak. It's good spice in moderation, but easy to overuse.

>>14379 : "I think [details about the writer's interest] adds personality to the piece."

Only if the details are relevant to the story.

Otherwise, keep them to a minimum. Drop in the odd fact here and there to add texture.

But when I'm hoping to read about seducing lolis under the guise of, say, tutoring the alienated, don't waste my time with four paragraphs of technical detail on your favorite car that you can't afford. That's porn of a type, but of interest only to people who share your unhealthy lust for that particular vehicle.

The rest of us want some other kind of car, and all your details only make us want to tell you how wrong you are.

Bumping to go along with the Writer's Workshop thread.

>>14229
holy shit i laughed so hard

my peeve is too much story. i'm reading your story to fap, i really don't want a lot of exposition. what does everyone look like? what is everyone's relationship? why is this sex going to be hot? okay good, now that that paragraph is out of the way, onto the fucking!

>>16641
I am the exact opposite.

I love good porn like anyone else, but to read what one has written is (at least in my opinion) more intimate. Ergo, I want an intimate connection to what I'm reading, especially when it comes to sex.

It is never, "just sex." In an evolutionary context the act itself is biologically intent on deep peer bonding due to the vulnerabilities and long-term gestation involved with raising human offspring.

Practically, there should be an emotional component to sex. The best sex feels so good not because the sensations are any different, but because of deep intimacy. So, when I read about sex I most certainly want to know all of those little details about who is what to whom, and why, and how much, and for how long.

I know not everyone agrees with this, but as an author I cannot and will not half-ass sexual intimacy.

People who decide to post stories not in large posts, but instead posting it all in seperate paragraphs per post. Especially so in a thread with multiple stories.

I get slightly frustrated when authors use hentai-esque lines spoken by the characters to try and clear up any confusion for the reader.
"Oh my god, am I really getting fucked by Jason's mega cock while I'm sucking and slurping up all Sam's gooey cum?!"

Goddamnit, that shit is so unnerving.

Also, when authors don't put tags or say "lol I don't know the tags"
It really isn't that hard.

>>17092
For short stories, I'd say yes, tags are fairly easy to figure out. For serials or stuff you haven't written, it gets a lot harder. I remember Derik's Luck was originally just going to be a little cross-dressing, mdom, and a bit of D/s relationships. The entire futa/transgender and the BDSM was a complete and utter surprise when I started. It didn't really develop until the beginning, but since we can't really edit earlier posts, you have incorrect tags which may turn people off.