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Fucking Appendix(now with editing) Soli 14/08/07(Thu)06:52 No. 22201 ID: cd8c01

Hey guys. Soli again. At least a couple people seemed interested in the rough draft for the first chapter of Fucking Appendix I posted yesterday. So as promised, here is the edited first chapter, along with the second. If you like it, let me know. If its a piece of shit, let me know that too. Either way, be sure to check back often, as I will likely be updating frequently with new chapters. Once again, I give you Fucking Appendix. Hope you enjoy.
I read the words on the screen again, sure I must be misreading them. They couldn't say what I thought they did, and yet there they were.

"Do as I say, or Eve dies."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I guess it really started the day my little sister, Eve, came down with appendicitis. Even though she was three years younger, fourteen to my seventeen, we were always close, possibly owing to the fact we were both enrolled in an online form of homeschooling. That meant that for most of our lives, we were each other's only constant contact, and I always thought of her as a friend as well as a sister.

She took after our mom in that she was a petite, freckly ginger, tiny all over except for the ass and b cup breasts she had recently developed, and was maybe a bit overly proud of. It was often a topic around the house when she insisted on walking around in just her bra and panties, and I often had to politely suggest she get dressed, to which she would usually just roll her eyes, and maybe put on an overly small pair of shorts.

Though she was never exactly bubbly, she was always generally cheerful, and rarely complained about anything. That's why, when I came into the living room one summer afternoon and found her curled up on the couch looking less than happy, I decided to try and cheer her up. "What's wrong sis, got the red tide blues?" I teased as I plopped down beside her and gave her a playful nudge in the side.

I expected a playful smack, or maybe for her to help a throw pillow to live up to its name. What I got instead, was a yelp of pain from Eve, as she squeezed into a tighter ball and tears began to stream down her cheeks.

"Holy shit, Evie! What's wrong?" I half yelled, jumping up off the couch and putting one hand on her arm and pushing back her messy red hair with the other so I could see her face. She was shaking and sobbing as if she had been shot, and I was admittedly terrified.

"It h-hurts so b-bad, Adam.(yes our names are Adam and Eve. Please hold all jokes til the end thanks.) Oh f-f-fuck it h-hurts." Her voice was low, and little more than a moan eeking out between her sobs. I knew almost immediately what was wrong.

"Is it right here?" I asked, standing up and waving my hand over the area of my appendix. She nodded slightly in response. "Shit, I'm sorry Evie, I think its your appendix. We need to get you to the hospital. Can you walk at all?. In response, she tried to put her legs down to get up and almost instantly pulled herself back into a ball as pain shot through her body. She shook her head violently.

Our family has always had bad luck with our appendixes. In fact I'm the only one on my moms side who still has one. This was actually the second time I had seen it. Two years earlier while visiting my cousins, one of them had to be rushed to the hospital when he fell off his bike and caused his appendix to burst. He nearly died in the ambulance on the way, and spent the next three weeks in a hospital bed, and nearly the next month bedridden at home.

Thankfully I knew what to do in this situation. "OK Evie, I'm going to call an ambulance, just hold on ok." She nodded slightly in response, as I pulled out my phone and dialed 9-1-1.

The dispatcher who picked up was a real bitch, seeming more annoyed that I'd interrupted her in the middle of reading a magazine or something, than concerned. I made a mental note to remember her voice so that if I ever saw her, I could shove a copy of Cosmo right up her ass. It took nearly ten minutes of inane questions, some of which I had to answer multiple times, before she finally told me an ambulance was on the way.

Once I finally had confirmation the ambulance was on its way, I threw on my shoes, grabbed my car keys, and sat on the couch beside Eve, gently putting my arm around her in an attempt to comfort her. "It's gonna be ok Evie, the ambulance is coming." I told her and held her close, leaning my head against hers.

She looked up at me through her tears. "Thanks Adam." She half whispered as if she was struggling just to get words out. Then she lifted her head and kissed me. The kiss was mostly on my cheek, only slightly overlapping onto the corner of my lips. At that point I didn't even really notice, and even now I'm about eighty percent sure it was accidental.

The ambulance arrived after about fifteen minutes, and as I expected, they wouldn't let me ride along. There was a moment when I was sure she was going to jump off the gurney, when she heard I couldn't ride along, but I reassured her I would follow them there, and it seemed to calm her down. I jumped in my car to follow, and took the opportunity to call our mom.

Our mother was a nurse who worked for a nonprofit that provided care to homeless and low income people in the city at reduced costs. She didn't make a lot, and her job kept her out of the house most of the time, but between her salary, and child support from our dad, who decided two years earlier that he was gay and ran off with his soulmate, Robert, (pronounced Row-bear) we did pretty well. When she answered, I told her what was happening, and although she was worried, she told me that I had done the right thing calling 9-1-1 first, and told me she would meet us at the hospital.

It was a twenty-five minute drive to the hospital, and once we arrived, Eve was almost immediately rushed into surgery. Our mom beat us there by a few minutes since her job was in the city, and was already filling out the required consent forms. I felt helpless sitting in the waiting room, not knowing how bad it was, and worried she might end up bedridden like my cousin, or worse. I tried playing a game on my phone to distract myself, but soon gave up when I realized I was looking up at every single noise.

After what seemed like forever, but was actually only a bit over an hour, the surgeon came out and told us Eve was out of surgery and recovering, and that we could see her but she was unlikely to be awake. Relief washed over me as the tension I had been too distracted to notice building throughout my body finally released. My mom wrapped me up in a hug, thanked the doctor, and we made our way to the recovery room.

As it turns out Eve made it in time to prevent her appendix from rupturing, but only just. Luckily, she had a good surgeon, and we were happy to hear that she would likely be ready for discharge sometime the next day, and was expected to make a full and swift recovery.

She was asleep when we got into the recovery room and only woke up for a few minutes the rest of the night. After a few hours, Mom suggested I go home, but I convinced her that she needed rest more than I did, and that I would rather stay. She kissed us both on the foreheads, and then left. I held Eve's hand the rest of the night and slept in the chair beside her with my head on the hospital bed.

When I woke the next morning it was to Eve running her hand through my hair. "Hey kid, how ya feeling?" I asked groggily.

"Haha! Better than you look right now bro!" I touched my face and felt the lines the woven blanket had left on one side. My hair was also a total mess, and I was kind of glad I couldn't see how ridiculous I must look.

"Does mom know you're awake? I'll call her." Without waiting for a response I started to pull out my phone to call.

She reached out and grabbed my hand. "Not yet, I want to just relax a little. Whatever they have in that IV is awesome. Like really fucking great. Actually, it's kinda making me horny." She squeezed my hand and smiled, knowing saying things like that weirded me out.

"Dude, you're gross. You're lucky your appendix is gone or I'd slap you in it right now." She laughed a little and stuck out her tongue at me. I knew my sister was a virgin, and we were always open about our "relationships," but she was still my kid sister, and any mention of her and sex still made my insides squirm a bit.

"Just give me like fifteen minutes and then you can call ok?"

"Yeah, I guess. I am gonna call a nurse to check your bandage though, alright?". She nodded and I pressed the call button on the console on her bed. A couple minutes later, a sweet, if a bit frumpy, middle aged nurse, who's hospital badge identified her as Tilly, came through the door.

"Well good morning dear. How are you feeling?" She asked smiling.

"I dunno it hurts a bit," Eve said with a sidelong glance and a slight wink only I could see.

I smacked her lightly on the hand and turned to the nurse. "She's joking, ma'am. I think she might be enjoying the pain meds a bit too much," I said with the best stern brother look I could muster in her direction.

The nurse laughed, "I don't blame you there, sweetheart. When I had my knee surgery last year, I felt the same way!" She gave Eve a knowing grin and took a minute to check her vitals, and the IV. "Well what do you say we take a look at that bandage? If you wouldn't mind stepping out for a minute young man?" She said looking in my direction.

"No!" Eve almost shouted, tightening her grip on my hand as I started to get up. "I mean, can he please stay? I just feel a little less nervous with him here.". I thought that was kind of odd, but was happy that I was able to make her feel better.

The nurse seemed a bit dubious but nodded after a few seconds. "If that's what you want dear. Ok let's have a look"

I turned away as the nurse pulled back the blanket, and lifted Eve's hospital gown to check the stitches, it wasn't that I had never seen Eve in her panties before, I just wasn't sure how I felt about seeing her with a big gash in her side.

"Oh wow!" Eve called out squeezing my hand slightly and tugging. "That is so crazy looking!" Against my better judgement, I turned to look. The incision site itself wasn't really all that impressive, just a small line maybe a little over an inch long that had been stitched closed and still looked a bit yellow from the disinfectant.

What caught my attention wasn't her stitches, but a few inches lower. Just above the edge of the blanket, peeking out at me, was a little tuft of red fur, and just the slightest bit of the place where her labia meets. I didn't want to look but I couldn't seem to stop myself.

My heart raced and I quickly turned away again and pretended I had only seen her stitches. I guessed the doctors had to cut her panties off before surgery, for who knows what reason, and I had no idea if Eve had known that when she insisted I stay with her. The nurse finished changing Eve's bandage and then once again, left us alone in the room.

"What's wrong Adam? Since when are you squeamish?" She asked, in an obviously teasing tone.

"It's not that."

"Well what then, why won't you even look at me?" This time she sounded a bit upset, so I forced myself to face her. I was sure both sides of my face must be bright red now, instead of just one.

"Eve… You're not wearing any underwear, and I kinda saw your, um…"

"Really?" She lifted the blanket to look under it. "You saw?" I nodded at her. "Saw this?!" She quickly whipped the blanket away leaving me an even clearer look than before.

She began laughing wildly, as I threw the blanket back over her. "The fuck, Eve! Jesus, you must be high!"

"Oh relax, Adam. It's not like you've never seen before. We used to take baths together, remember." She rolled her eyes at me.

"Yeah, when we were kids! Jesus. I have to use the bathroom."

That image stuck in my mind, her fair, freckled skin contrasting against the beginnings of a firey red patch of pubic hair. The perfectly smooth outer labia of a young girl, with everything neatly tucked inside. It seemed odd that at fourteen, she was only beginning to sprout hair, but puberty hits everyone differently, and maybe her fuzz patch was just a bit slow, to catch up with the rest of her body.

I tried to shake the image and those thoughts from my mind. A brother is never supposed to see that side of his sister. It seemed, however, that the more I tried to think of something else, the more strongly it pushed itself into the forefront.

I got up and made my way to the bathroom. I didn't really need to use it, but it was the only way I could think to hide my embarrassment, not to mention the inexplicable erection growing in my pants. Unsure of what to do I spent the next couple minutes splashing cold water on my face until my heart slowed to normal and my penis returned to its flaccid state.

Not feeling entirely comfortable sitting alone with Eve while she was high, I took out my phone and called our mom. I figured if I made it sound like she called me, Eve couldn't be mad, and maybe I could avoid a bit of awkwardness. She didn't flash me again after I told her I'd spoken to mom, and that she was on her way, and I felt like I had succeeded in bringing her back down to earth. What I didn't know then, was that the real awkwardness was still yet to come, later that day, when we all finally went home.


>>
Soli 14/08/07(Thu)06:53 No. 22202 ID: cd8c01

It was shortly after four that afternoon when Eve was finally discharged. Mom went out and pulled the car to the entrance, and together we helped Eve to get in.

"I'm going to get some food, and maybe a new battery pack for my controller before I come home," I announced as my mom got into the driver's seat.

"Alright hon. Oh, could you grab an ice pack from the pharmacy section for your sister while you're there? And try not to be too long, we might need your help."

"Sure mom," I waved as they pulled away, and made my way to the parking deck where I left my car. As I was about to get in I heard the chime from my phone that meant I had a text message. I assumed it was mom telling me she forgot to ask me to get something else, as I rarely texted. I always preferred calls. I always found it too hard to judge tones in a text message, which had lead to a couple awkward situations in the past that I prefer not to talk about.

I pulled out my phone and turned on the screen. To my surprise, the message was from Eve. I didn't even know she had her phone, as she hadn't used it in the hospital, and normally it would take a hurricane to pry it from her hands. I guessed mom must have brought it for her from home.

I opened the text and read, "Hey Adam, thanks for taking such good care of me. Sorry about this morning, I think liquid morphine makes me a little loopy. Anyway thanks again bro, I love you."

I was actually kind of touched by the message, and it was nice to know she appreciated me. Although, I could have done without the reminder about seeing her pussy that morning. I had actually forgotten for the time being, and mentioning it only served to cause the image of a tight, smooth, fourteen year old pussy, crowned in feathery fire red hair to once again emblazon itself into my head.

Nevertheless, I called up the onscreen keyboard, and typed out a response. "No problem Evie, I'm glad you're OK. I understand about the meds, don't worry about it, and I love you too kiddo. See you at home in a bit." My text sent, I shoved my phone back into my pocket, climbed into my car and finally left the hospital.

It was about an hour later when I made it home. I had stopped at the local retail giant,(you can probably guess which) and picked up the stuff I needed. The battery pack I found easily, as like any other guy, I knew the electronics section like the back of my hand. The ice pack, on the other hand, was more difficult. I had to spend ten minutes following an employee looking for it, before I finally found them myself on a random pain relief promotional shelf at the very end of the makeup aisle. I've always thought the people who decide where to put their promotions must be idiots. With my shopping finally done, I grabbed a large fry and a shake from the fast food place inside the store and left.

When I walked in the front door at home, mom called out to me from the living room almost immediately. "Adam, can you come in here for a minute please." For a second I was worried she had heard about Eve's flashing episode this morning, and I was in for some weird conversation about it.

That might actually have been preferable.

I somewhat slowly and painstakingly made my way into the room, and found mom sitting on the couch beside Eve, who was half sitting, half laying into the corner with her feet propped on an ottoman. She was busily tapping away at something on her phone, but gave me a quick nod of acknowledgement. I pulled out the ice pack and held it out to mom. "This it?"

She took it from me and gave it a quick look. "Yeah, that should do. Sit down for a minute." She motioned towards the matching armchair sitting catercorner to the couch. I obliged, dreading the conversation I was sure was about to come.

"I've already talked to your sister, and she understands." I tensed slightly as I became sure she was about to bring up Eve's fiery twat. "The doctors told me-" Here it was. "-that the inflammation caused some internal bruising-" Huh? "And they've got her on a pretty high dose of vicoden. So she's going to need our help over the next week or so."

I relaxed almost instantly, it wasn't at all what I was afraid of. "Sure mom, anything she needs. No problem.'

"Good. I'm glad you said that. I have to work the night shift at the clinic for the next week and a half. Joannie had her baby, and Rachel is on vacation until the twelfth. So there's no way I can get out of it." She paused for a moment before continuing, and I was slightly confused as to what she was saying.

"That's why I've decided, that until Evie heals, she's going to be sleeping in your room so you can be there if she needs you." I opened my mouth to object, to tell her how weird it was for teenage siblings to not only share a room, but also a bed as we didn't own an air mattress or anything, but she cut me off.

"I know it's an inconvenience, and maybe a little strange, but she's going to be sore for awhile, and with all that vicoden, she could get dizzy spells. I don't want her pulling her stitches or falling and getting hurt trying to get around on her own. You understand?"

"Yeah, but-" The first thought that came to mind, was to wonder how the fuck I was going to jerk off. We had shared a room until four years earlier, when my dad convinced my mom a teenage boy needed his own room, and we finally moved out of the two bedroom studio we had lived in most of my life. As a thirteen year old boy, newly discovering that it felt really good to yank on my penis until it squirted, I was understandably thrilled. Even before the move, we had never shared a bed, at least not that I could remember. We had instead had bunk beds, which also frequently doubled as a castle.

Obviously, I couldn't object to my mom on the grounds of masturbation, so I just nodded. " Yeah, I understand. I can deal with it for a few days until she's back on her feet."

Eve looked up from her phone and flashed me a smile, and my mom smiled in turn. "Great, thanks for not fighting me on this hon. I'll feel a lot better knowing you're looking out for her. Let me show you how to change the bandage, and then I'm going to take a quick nap before work."

She proceeded to do just that. It really wasn't difficult. I just had to gently peel off the gauze, swab the incision with a mild disinfectant, spread a bit of ointment on it, then tape down a new patch of gauze. It did however, mean touching my sister a bit lower than I felt entirely comfortable with, especially after that morning. All in all, it really wasn't that bad though.

When mom went to lay down, I put the new battery pack in my controller, and settled in next to Eve to play a bit of xbox before bed. Once I sat down, she rotated on the couch so that she was fully laying down, and put her legs across my lap. She laid there watching me play for a bit, occasionally giving me a heads up about an enemy I failed to spot, and then started to doze off. I must have done the same, because next thing I knew my mom was nudging me to wake up, and the screen said game over, with a message to reconnect the controller overlaid.

"Sorry hon," she said. "Let's get your sister into bed." For a second, grogginess made me unsure what she meant. Then I looked over at Eve and remembered. My mom knelt down beside her and gently brushed her hair aside. "Eve, honey. Let's get you to bed sweetheart."

Eve groaned slightly, but with mom's help, managed to sit up. With me on one side, and mom on the other, we got her up and slowly walked her into my room and got her into bed. Mom turned to me, "You've been really great through this Adam. She's lucky to have a brother like you. Uncle Tommy was a complete asshole to me when I had my appendix out." She seemed to drift off into thought for a second. "Anyway, take care of her tonight okay? I'm counting on you. I'll be home at seven."

I said I would, and after giving me a hug, she left for work. After she left, Eve asked me for a glass of water. I obliged, and went about my nightly necessaries, and then decided i was pretty tired too and climbed into bed as well. As I got in, Eve reached over and grabbed my hand. All the hand holding over the stretch of a day was a bit odd, but it seemed to comfort her, and I didn't really mind. Other than that, it was pretty much the same as sleeping on my own.(except for skipping my nightly jerk of course) "Maybe this won't be so bad," I thought, and within a few minutes, I had drifted off to sleep.

Twenty minutes later, I was proven wrong with five little words. "Adam. I have to pee."


>>
Anonymous 14/08/07(Thu)14:12 No. 22206 ID: 8256d5

Yeess... Proceed...


>>
Anonymous 14/08/07(Thu)15:04 No. 22207 ID: dd9a09

My interests have been peaked.

The writing is pretty good so far. I will say that Adam/Eve thing is a little silly. But honestly,if that's the worst that can be said, then I think you're doing alright.

I look forward to reading the parts we're supposed to fap to.


>>
Soli 14/08/08(Fri)06:21 No. 22214 ID: cd8c01

Well what's life without an occasional bit of silliness. Their names are a bit of a joke, which I'm planning on elaborating on a bit later in the story, so stay tuned and I think you'll get it. As for the fappability... Well shit, is this supposed to be something you can fap to? I had the idea all wrong apparently. I was planning on having them abducted and murdered by aliens. Now I have to rethink my whole storyline. Oh well. In the meantime, here's chapter 3. I'm gonna go fap to men in black.


Still mostly in a dream, the words made no sense to me, and I mumbled something incoherent back at her. "Huh? ADAM!" She jabbed me harshly in the ribs.

"Ow! What?!" I grumbled, still only partially awake.

"Wake up! I really have to pee!". As she repeated herself, reality pushed its way back through the haze of whatever I had been dreaming. I remembered Eve's surgery, and then that she was sleeping beside me in case she needed help.

"Shit, sorry Evie. You need help getting there right?" I slowly fought my way, groggily, out of bed and around to the other side.

"Yeah, unless you want me to wet your bed." I helped her sit up, and she put her arm around my shoulder. "Just don't drop me on the floor."

"I'm not gonna drop you. Alright, ready?" I saw her nod in the dim light of my alarm clock, and she grimaced as I slowly helped her to her feet. She wouldn't say anything, but I could tell the pain meds must have been wearing off.

The bathroom was, conveniently, right across from my room, and we made it there pretty easily, though Eve was noticeably unsure on her feet. I flicked on the light as we entered, and we both squinted against the bright fluorescents above the sink in front of us. Once our eyes adjusted, I walked her over to the toilet, and flipped up the lid. She braced herself on the sink and turned around, and I let her go and started to leave the room.

"Uh, Adam." I turned around to face her. "I can't really bend down." I just looked at her, confused by the statement. She sighed, and to clarify her point said, "My pants. I can't pull down my pants without bending over and falling on my head."

"Are you serious? You want me to pull down your pants?" I stared at her in disbelief. Sharing a bed was weird, but not so bad. Helping her get to the bathroom? Sure, no problem. Kneeling down in front of my little sister, and pulling down her pants and panties? Well, that was about two towns over from my comfort zone.

"Oh my god, Adam. I can't do it myself. Please I really have to go. You can just turn your head if you're so freaked out about it! Otherwise, I'm just going to stand here and piss my pants, and then you're really screwed, because you'll be stuck cleaning me up. Your choice." I stared at her for a few more seconds, before finally relenting. All things considered, I definitely preferred the first option.

So, regardless of how weird it felt to be removing my sister's clothes, I got down on one knee in front of her, turned my head and started to pull down her pants. As I did, she tottered forward slightly, and had to put her hand on my shoulder to keep her balance. It seemed she really was woozy, and not just faking it to screw with me.

Once her pants were below her knees, she settled herself onto the toilet, and I got up to leave. "Adam, wait." I stopped and turned back, wondering what else she could possibly need. "Stay with me, please? I know it's really weird, and I don't like it any more than you do, but I honestly feel like I'm going to fall off this damn thing. I'm so sorry, but please?"

I started to object, but the tone of her voice, and the pleading look in her eyes convinced me not to. She really did seem to need me. I nodded slightly, and took up a spot beside her where she could easily hold on to me if she needed to. "Thank you." She half whispered, in a tone that sounded somewhat ashamed. I reached over and gently patted her on the shoulder to reassure her it was OK. The next sound I heard was like someone had suddenly turned on the bath tub.

I had never seen, or heard, a girl pee before. It was a bit of a shock hearing the sudden gush of liquid splattering into the bowl, as compared to the sound of my own steady stream. "Ohhhhh myyyyy goddddd, that is amazing." She moaned in relief, and I laughed slightly in spite of myself. I guess pressure must really build up if you haven't peed for two days.

When the geyser finally stopped erupting below her waist, she reached out to me and tugged on my arm. I turned to her, and prepared to help her stand back up.

"Actually, Adam, do you think maybe you could.." Her sentence trailed off there, and for a moment I didn't understand. That was, until she motioned towards the roll of toilet paper with her head.

"Uh uh! No! No fucking way! I am not doing that. Drip dry, or use a hair dryer, or whatever you need to do, but there is no way in hell I am wiping you." Eve started laughing hysterically, and nearly really did fall off the toilet in the process.

"Ow ow, my stitches. Oh my god Adam, you should see yourself. I'm just messing with you. I can wipe myself." I turned back away, steaming a bit at the joke at my expense. The sound of the roll spinning, and then a flush moments later confirmed she could, indeed do it herself, much to my relief. "OK, now you can help me up."

I bent down beside her as she once again put her arm around me, and slowly helped her to her feet. Once she was up, I knelt down in front of her again to pull her pants back up, careful to look away again as I did so.

"Is it ok if I leave the PJ pants off? They kinda tug on my bandage, and it hurts. My panties are fine. Its just the pants."

I shrugged, "Yeah, I guess." Seeing her in her panties was nothing new, and if it made her more comfortable, I figured I could deal with it. "Ok lift your foot up."

Eve braced herself on my shoulder again as she lifted her left foot, and I slid her pants over it. As they came off, her panties, which were also still down, slipped halfway off her foot and caught, which just happened to be the very moment she lost her balance.

I quickly reached up to catch her so she wouldn't fall, and turned my head slightly towards her in the process. Her foot slipped out of her panties as she stumbled forward trying to get her balance, and for the second time in two days, Eve kissed me. This time however, it was with a different set of lips.

I caught her easily enough, but her momentum brought her forward, right into my face. This time I didn't see her pussy, but felt it, as it pushed right against my mouth. The smooth lips of her pussy pressed against my own lips felt like silk, and there was a very brief moment where I almost let my tongue slip out between them.

I had had sex before, once, behind a building at a Renaissance faire in the city with a girl I met online. It was quick, and neither of us dared to get undressed out of fear we would get caught. That day was the first time I had ever seen a real life pussy in person, let alone had one pressed up against my mouth, and it was my sister's.

The moment seemed to last forever, her bare womanhood pressed against my barely parted lips, almost as if it really were a kiss. In reality it couldn't have been more than a couple seconds, at most, before she regained her balance and pushed herself off of me, and I resisted the sudden unexplainable impulse that came over me to pull her back.

"Oh my god Adam! Are you ok? I'm so sorry! I didn't hurt you did I?" No, I wasn't hurt. Excited and very, very confused, yes, but not hurt. Thankfully, she hadn't seemed to notice that her snatch had just been pressed into my mouth, and I chose not to draw her attention to it.

"N- ahem!" I cleared my throat, which seemed to have dried out all of a sudden. "I mean yeah, I'm fine. Just surprised me. Let's get you back to bed." I slipped her panties back over her foot, and pulled them up, forgetting to look away in the process. She really did have a beautiful little slit, and deep down some part of me really wanted to touch it again.

"God what the fuck is wrong with you?" I thought as I carefully took her pants the rest of the way off. "That's your fucking sister, dude." With her panties up, and her pants off I stood up beside her and started to walk her back to bed.

That's when I realized. I was rock hard. In pajama pants. I really fucking hoped she wouldn't look down.

Once I got her back into bed, the rest of the night went fine. She didn't hold my hand, and we didn't even speak, other than to exchange good nights. My mind was racing with the thought of my little sister's pussy, and I really needed to jerk off, but other than that everything was pretty normal. That is, until the next morning at least.


>>
Anonymous 14/08/08(Fri)11:05 No. 22216 ID: f5b1c2

>>22207
>peaked
piqued*


>>
Anonymous 14/08/08(Fri)23:14 No. 22221 ID: fac323

This was really well written. Get to the sexy parts, please!


>>
Anonymous 14/08/09(Sat)13:30 No. 22224 ID: aff4ea

Well written and very sweet story


>>
Soli 14/08/10(Sun)05:15 No. 22228 ID: cd8c01

What? You mean the peeing scene didn't tickle your willy? I thought you guys loved that stuff. Damn. Well here's chapter four anyway.

That night I dreamt of fire. All around me, the walls blazed, as if they were not on fire, but made of it. The room was empty save for a bed in its center, on which I found myself. I was naked, and unable to move. Looking to my hands, I found they had been tied to the bedposts, and my feet were the same.

I began to struggle against my bonds, suddenly afraid I was going to burn to death, when a figure emerged from the flames beyond the foot of the bed. It slowly approached, still obscured by the haze of heat, so all I could tell is that it was a person.

As the shape drew closer, its features cleared. It was a woman, or at least something in the shape of one. She was naked, and her body seemed to suggest she was somewhere in her teen years. Her tits were on the small side, and perky. Perched atop each was a small, bright pink, pencil eraser nipple, standing out against her impossibly pale skin like hot coals in the midst of a bed of ash.

The hair atop her head was fire, not just red, but actual fire, that seemed to flow out and down her over her shoulders. Lower down, just above the cleft of her pussy, another small patch of flame burned, illuminating and drawing my eyes to the bare, perfect lips below. As she approached, I could make out every inch of her, except her face. It seemed permanently shrouded in a shadow cast by nothing.

My heart raced, and my dick began to grow as she bent over the end of the bed, and ever so slowly began crawling on top of me. It was the sexiest, and yet somehow also the most terrifying thing I had ever seen.

Flames leapt up around her fingers as they touched the bed. She bent low as she crawled, allowing her tits to brush against me. The sensation was unfathomable, like a thousand orgasms at once, mixed with intense, searing pain. It was as if her body was molten steel rubbing against my flesh.

Rather than cancel out the pleasure, the pain seemed to heighten, itself becoming some new sort of pleasure. I wanted her. More than that I needed her. Nothing else mattered in that moment. My dick throbbed mercilessly as her tits rubbed against it.

The pressure was unbearable. I needed to cum so badly. But I wouldn't, couldn't. It was as if she was somehow preventing me from reaching sweet release. I could see her eyes then. They were like perfect pools of still, pitch black water, reflecting out from the shadow that shrouded her face.

I could see myself in those eyes as she settled on top of me. I could see myself, deep down inside. It wasn't just my reflection. It was me, all of me. It was everything I would ever be, or do, reflected all at once. Then one by one, the images were consumed by flame and burnt away, until all that remained was the image of her writhing on top of me, my face contorted into an expression of unbelievable ecstasy, and unimaginable pain.

All thought stopped as she locked her lips onto mine. The pressure in my cock skyrocketed, preparing for the moment of ejection. It was time. It had to happen. Then, as if sensing it, she pressed her pussy down against my cock. She broke the kiss, brought her burning lips to my ear, and whispered "Not yet, little boy. Not yet."

Her laugh was cruel as she sat upright, grinding my throbbing dick between her lips. I ached for release as she rose up enough for my cock to spring up beneath her and rub against her spread lips.

We began to rock back and forth, rubbing her pussy against my sensitive head. The sensation was strange. It was soft, but dry, and felt more like fabric than flesh. She reached down and ran her fingers up the length of my cock, then pushed it into position pointed straight into her hole.

I could take no more. I pushed up with my my hips, sinking my head into her. Her hand gripped my cock and held it. I looked up at her, and suddenly the shadows over her face lifted, and became the face of Eve. She looked directly into my eyes. "Oh. My. God."

My eyes shot open. "Oh my god! Adam! Is that your-" I was lying on my side behind Eve. Her hand was wrapped around my dick, keeping it from moving forward, and the head was firmly shoved against her panties, pushing it's way towards her pussy through the crack of her ass. The pressure of the dream was not so intense upon waking, but it was still there, and as her grip tightened slightly, I nearly came.

I sprang out of bed so quickly that I nearly found myself sprawled across the floor. Eve turned over onto her back and pulled herself up into a seated position. "Oh my god, it is!" I followed her gaze down, and there standing to attention through the hole in the front of my pajama pants, was my little soldier, helmet head glistening with precum.

I quickly pulled my pants out and back over my throbbing cock. I fumbled for words, but found none. What could I possibly say. I was mortified. I wondered how Eve could seem so nonchalant, her expression one of amusement mixed in with surprise. I wanted to scream at her, at myself for being in that position. Still no words came, and after what seemed like an eternity, it was Eve who finally spoke.

"Pretty impressive hardware there, way to go bro."

I finally found words. "This isn't funny!" I didn't yell, but my voice wasn't exactly soft either.

"Shhh! Do you want mom to hear. Relax Adam. It's okay. Sit down." In spite of myself I did what she said. I still couldn't think of anything to say. "Oh god, I have to tell Ella! She is gonna be soooo jealous.". She grabbed her phone off the nightstand by the bed and began quickly tapping out a text.

"No! Eve, you can't! Do you know what would happen if people found out? I'd be a freak! They'd probably lock me up. I'm sorry, really, really, really sorry. You can't tell anyone! Please!" The words gushed out of me like a floodgate had been opened. I was terrified.

"Okay calm down. Are you sure though? She thinks you're hot. She would totally suck you off if I told her you want her to, and no offense, but it seems like you could use it."

The offer was tempting. Ella was a smoking hot, half white, half latina fifteen year old. She had long dark hair and dusky eyes. Her lips were big and sultry, the kind that would squeeze so nicely around a hard cock, coaxing it to cum into her mouth. She had curves in all the right places, and I loved when she came over to see my sister, and joined her in wearing nothing but her bra and panties. I even had a creepshot of her bending over in a pair of lacy black cheekster panties, that I jerked off to fairly often.

My interest in her was all the more reason not to let her know about what happened. I didn't want her to think I was some sick sister fucker wannabe. I glared at Eve. "Okay. Fine. I won't tell. But you should really take care of that. I swear if I wake up covered in cum tomorrow morning I'll kick your ass."

Minutes later, after making her promise not to tell anyone, I locked myself in the bathroom and took her advice. Twice. I had never cum so hard in my life. Things were getting out of hand, and for the life of me, I didn't know what to do.


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Anonymous 14/08/10(Sun)05:45 No. 22229 ID: 7ede29

>>22228
The peeing scene was pretty good. I'm not really begging for the sex scenes or anything, I don't even fap to these stories. Keeping it balanced is good.


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Anonymous 14/08/10(Sun)14:06 No. 22230 ID: 054fb4

Yes good, continue.


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Soli 14/08/10(Sun)20:34 No. 22232 ID: 6f9e72

I don't know. I feel like I'm spoiling you guys posting so often. Are you sure you guys wouldn't rather wait a few months for the next chapter?


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Soli 14/08/11(Mon)10:04 No. 22239 ID: eb7008

Well guys, I decided against making you wait. I just can't seem to get the writing juices to stop. Hopefully I'll manage to get writers block soon and your torment can begin. In the meantime, enjoy chapter 5.

The rest of that day was pretty uneventful. I watched TV, played Gears of War for awhile, Eve even joined me for a few rounds. She didn't mention that morning's occurrence again, and neither did I. It was like it never happened. We were just a normal brother and sister.

She was walking better too, only asking me to hold her hand, just in case. She didn't need my help using the bathroom, or even changing her bandage anymore. To be honest I kind of missed the feeling of being needed, but I was happy she was feeling better. I was also happy to avoid any more weirdness. That normalcy, like all things, was to be short lived.

That night, about an hour after mom left, I was sitting on the living room couch playing Skyrim. I had recently gotten a kinect sensor, and it was pretty fun running around and yelling "FUS RO DAH," at the TV and seeing people go flying on the screen. I had just finished peppering the townsfolk with arrows when my phone began to vibrate.

I paused the game and pulled my phone out of my pocket. I flicked on the screen and saw I had a text from Eve. She was in her room playing on her laptop, probably updating the blog she ran, and would never let me read. Her text requested that I come there, and figuring she just wanted an escort to another room.

When I entered her room, she was facing away from me wearing a long T-shirt. Normally it would have reached to just below her ass, but as she was bent over slightly rummaging through a dresser drawer I was able to see enough of it to clearly see that she wore nothing underneath. The crumpled pair of pink and turquoise panties beside her feet confirmed it.

I took a step back and knocked on her open door, pretending I had just reached it. She straightened up and turned towards me. In her hand was a small, somewhat sheer tank top, that had been cut off so that it only reached a point just above her belly button, and a pair of lacy white boyshort panties.

"Hey, there you are. I really need a shower. It's been days. Take me?" She reached out towards me with her free hand, and I walked up to her and took it. "Thanks Adam. I feel so freakin gross."

"Probably because you are," I teased.

"Says the guy who tried to buttfuck his sister this morning." I stopped walking. I was never going to live it down. Eve turned to face me. "Sorry… Look I know it was just morningwood. Its not a big deal. I'm sorry I brought it up."

"It's not you Evie. I feel like shit about what happened. What kind of brother does that?"

"Adam. You're a great brother, and a great friend. You've always been awesome to me. If I had to choose between an awesome brother who accidentally humped me in his sleep, or a brother who treated me like shit and never even looked at me, I'd take the humping." She smiled at me, and I couldn't help but to smile back. She always had a way of getting me out of whatever funk I was in.

"God, you're weird." We continued walking, and made our way into the bathroom.

"Uh huh, could you grab a couple towels please?" I reached into the linen closet in the bathroom, and pulled out two towels as she asked. "Oh, better get one more."

"Um why would you need three towels?" I tried to imagine a scenario where she could use a third, and no configuration seemed to make any sense.

"I don't. I need two, the other one is for you." She smiled at me. "You're getting in too."

"Errrr… Why would I do that. Is someone coming over that I need to clean up for?" The idea that she meant I was getting in with her hadn't crossed my mind yet. I stared at her, confused. Finally it clicked. "What!? With you? No! Evie, that can't happen."

"Adam, chill. I'm gross, I haven't showered in days, and I'm not going to bed disgusting. You know how slippery our shower floor gets, and I'm still healing. I need you there in case I slip."

"Shit. Couldn't you have asked mom or something?" I was desperately seeking some way out of the situation. A part of me really wanted to get in with her. That scared the shit out of me.

"I did, she said she would, but I guess she forgot, so now its down to you." All of a sudden she pulled the T-shirt over her head and was naked in front of me.

Her body was beautiful. Her perky pink nipples stood out from her pale breasts spattered in light freckles that matched her cheeks perfectly. Below, her naturally flat stomach contoured beautifully down into her mound, tufted with that cute little patch of red hair. The lips were completely unblemished by stubble, that sweet silkiness that only comes with youth.

I found myself dying to taste her sweetness, to bury my tongue between those delicate folds as I rolled her pert nipples between my fingers. I had to forcefully tear my eyes off of her. "Jesus, couldn't you at least wear a bikini?"

"How would I get clean in a bikini Adam? I'm getting in. You don't have to, but I am. If I get hurt, it's on you for being a pussy.". She turned away from me to start the shower, giving me my first clear look at her ass. It wasn't big, but it was gorgeous. It was the kind of ass that would have been just big enough to grab while she rode on top, but small enough that it would never see a stretch mark or cellulite.

"Coming or not?" Against my better judgement, I stripped out of my clothes, hesitating when I was down to just my boxers, before dropping those too and following her into the shower. "Good choice."

She was facing away from me as she first wet down her hair, and then took out the shampoo. I couldn't take my eyes off her body. Water ran in rivulets down her back from her long, kinky red hair, beading up as it reached her ass, which was now covered in goosebumps that made my heart race. It also caused my dick, which was already at half mast, to reach its full potential.

My heart stopped as she turned towards me. I was sure she would see, but her eyes were closed as she rinsed the shampoo from her hair. Her tits poked out at me magnificently as she ran her hands through her hair to coax out the soap. It took all the willpower I possessed to stop myself from grabbing them. I was actually a bit disappointed when she turned away again.

She reached out and grabbed a loofah, and generously filled it with shower gel. My dick pulsated, watching her lather herself up. God I wanted to touch her. It was wrong, and horrible, but at that point I didn't even care. I wanted my sister.

I nearly did grab her before she broke whatever spell I had fallen under. She held the loofah over her shoulder "Can you do my back please? It's kinda hard to reach right now."

I should have objected, told her she was fine and we should get out. I should have just left. Instead, like an idiot, I just said "uh, yeah sure." I took the loofah from her hand, and started rubbing it over her back.

My heart pounded in my chest, and I seemed only able to scrub the top of her back, not daring to go lower. "Um, my whole back please Adam."

"Oh, right." At her invitation I let my hand move lower, and lower, covering every inch of her back in suds. Then my hand went even lower, bringing the loofah down the right side of her ass. She didn't stop me, she didn't seem surprised. She didn't react at all.

So I continued. I crouched down behind her and rubbed the loofah all over her ass, and down the backs of her thighs, and all the way down her calves. In my position, with her feet slightly spread, I could see right between her thighs. Her puffy bare lips dripped water from the shower, and a few bubbles had managed to nestle themselves between them.

I had to forcefully tear my eyes away, and as I dragged myself to my feet, I let the loofah slide up between her thighs, and dragged it right along the crack of her ass to finish. "Thanks bro." She took the loofah as I held it out to her and hung it back on the rack.

Suddenly I realized, I was rock hard and she was about to turn around.

"Don't turn ar-" I started to call out, but it was too late. She was facing me.

"Why?" Her eyes went down, and there was my cock, in all its glory, looking back up at her. "Oh…shit."

I grabbed the shower door and started to open it, desperate to get away from the situation I found myself in. Before I could l, Eve grabbed my arm, holding me there.

"Adam, wait."

"Just let me go Eve. I'm a freak. Please just let me go." I was nearly in tears, and my dick was starting to shrink again from the shame.

"You're not a freak Adam. Its my fault. I didn't think about how this was going to effect you. There's a naked girl in front of you. I should have known this would happen."

"Eve you're my sister"

"I know that, but your dick doesn't. To it I'm just a piece of ass." That really didn't make me feel much better. I didn't want her thinking I felt that way.

She smiled at me and pulled me closer to her. "Evie, I'm really sorry."

"Shhh. It's okay."

Eve's hand was on my chest, and sliding down. "Evie, what are you doing?" I tried to pull away as her fingers settled on my cock, which sprang up at her touch, but she held me in place.

"Adam, I've been really unfair. I've flashed you, forced you to see me naked, and practically shoved my pussy down your throat. God it must drive you nuts."

"Eve, its-"

"Shut up Adam. I'm going to do this, and you're going to feel better. So just shut up and relax." I had no response. What could I possibly have said. I guess I should have stopped her, but as her hand began to slide up and down my throbbing shaft, I couldn't. I gave in. It felt incredible.

She looked in my eyes as she slowly stroked. There was no shame in her eyes. Her calmness made me calm, and soon my own shame had faded as well. "You can touch me if it helps." Her voice was soft and kind.

She gently took my hand, and pulled it to her breast, softly squeezing and directing my to continue. It was soft, and yet firm at the same time, and I could feel the hard point of her erect nipple brushing against my palm.

She stepped closer to me, and increased the speed of her strokes. As she did I let my hand slip down her body and around her back, finally reaching the soft mound of her ass. I squeezed gently and put my head on her shoulder as by breathing quickened, becoming short and rapid. " Eve, I'm-I'm-"

"It's okay. Cum Adam." As if her permission was all I needed, I felt my my loins begin to spasm, and I pulled her against me, as my cum shot out on her stomach. As I stepped back she looked up at me and smiled. "Feel better?" I nodded at her, although I suddenly felt more ashamed than ever.

She turned into the water and rinse the cum off of herself, and then we both got out, dried off, and finally went to bed. It was a while before I finally fell asleep. I felt terrible, I had just let my little sister jerk me off. Something was wrong with me. What was worse was I knew I wanted more. That night I decided, nothing like that would ever happen again. How could that possibly go wrong?


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Anonymous 14/08/11(Mon)12:36 No. 22241 ID: 054fb4

It seems surpirsingly easy to get writers block and then die.


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Anonymous 14/08/12(Tue)00:33 No. 22243 ID: 71cdc0

You've got a nice setup going here. This has been very well written so far. Can't wait to see how this goes.


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Soli 14/08/12(Tue)05:22 No. 22248 ID: eb7008

Thanks guys. I agree. There are so many unfinished stories here, and having started and stopped more conventional writing projects multiple times in the past, I definitely understand how easy it can be to run out of ideas, or just lose interest.

Luckily, I've got a good idea of where I'm going with this story, and so far the words have come pretty easily. At the moment, I don't for see anything causing me to stop writing it, even though accidentally forgetting to save forced me to rewrite nearly all of chapter 3, and then again with half of chapter 4.

I can say I'm just getting started, and there will be much more to come.


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Anonymous 14/08/15(Fri)01:10 No. 22282 ID: dada8c

my DICK!
story followed


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Soli 14/08/16(Sat)09:32 No. 22292 ID: 06eaa5

I think that was a compliment, so I'll take it as one. Sorry about the delay, its been a horribly busy week at work and I haven't had much free time to write. Chapter 5 should be released sometime tomorrow.


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Anonymous 14/08/16(Sat)13:42 No. 22293 ID: 8afae3

The characters feel a little bit artificial, but it's a good reading.


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IonIan 14/08/17(Sun)04:03 No. 22297 ID: 036a9b

I would just like to add that I really like the backstory of his losing his virginity because it's so strange and awful and great


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Soli 14/08/17(Sun)07:24 No. 22298 ID: 06eaa5

Haha, thanks. I have no idea where I came up with that idea, but it just seemed to fit with him being an anti social homeschooled kid.

I know there hasn't been a ton of character building so far. Bear in mind that I'm really just getting started on this story, and I do plan to add more back story and character to the characters as the story progresses.

I appreciate your comments, and please feel free to keep and compliments, criticisms, or suggestions coming, and I'll keep them in mind as the story develops. Anyway I promised a chapter, and here it is. Enjoy.


The next few days saw the return on some measure of normalcy to my life. Eve no longer needed my help, and although mom insisted she stay in my room until the stitches were out, the sexual undertones seemed to have disappeared overnight. I still thought about our shower together pretty often, which usually lead to the sort of shame jerk you might get while watching porn that should disgust you, but instead turns you on more because you know it's wrong.

I was no stranger to the shame jerk, occasionally coming across webcam caps of girls who were obviously under eighteen in very adult positions. Sometimes those even included appearances by the family dog. It sounds bad when you talk about it, and outside a shield of internet anonymity I'm sure I never would. In the moment though, it's the kind of bad that leaves a puddle of cum on the floor between your feet.

Other than those deviant fap sessions, we were just a normal brother and sister again. Deep down, some hidden part of me missed it, and I found myself hoping to catch a glimpse of her changing, or that she would ask me to join her in the shower again, but she didn't. The more logical brotherly part of me assured me that I would have laughed it off and said no even if she had. The horny teenage guy part of me assured me that the other part was full of shit.

Despite my impure thoughts,(forgive me father for I have had a whole fucking shit ton) for those few days it was like nothing had ever happened. We hung out, watching TV, or playing video games, or just chatting sometimes, but mostly we just went about our daily routines. Eve seemed preternaturally attached to her phone and laptop, even more that usual, but she probably had a lot to update her multitudes of friends and followers about. I hoped that didn't include anything about me.

It was Saturday when things once again took a strange turn. It was three nights after our shower together. It was the night of the fashion show.

The day was off to a pretty normal start. Eve and I got up around ten and went on about our normal routines. Mom came out of her room around two and made us a late lunch. I had just finished up and was heading over to start up my Xbox when I heard Eve speak. "Hey mom. Is it OK if Ella spends the night?"

I don't mind admitting my interest was piqued. I needed to focus my attention somewhere other than Eve, and Ella always managed to catch my eye. Mom rarely said no to either of us having friends over,(Admittedly I rarely did) but I thought she might this time due to Eve still having her stitches in, and I prayed to anyone who might be listening that she would say yes.

"Are you sure you're up for that, honey?" My heart sank a bit, as it sounded like my mom's way of saying no without actually saying it.

"I'm fine mom. It doesn't even hurt anymore, and I haven't even taken a pain pill since, like, yesterday morning." I mentally crossed my fingers, rooting for Eve to convince my mom to let Ella come.

"Well, I guess it's OK with me. What do you think Adam?" She turned to me, and for a moment I was confused. I couldn't imagine why she would want my opinion.

"Uh, yeah. I mean she doesn't need my help or anything now." Eve shot me a smile, and I returned it.

"Well….Alright." Eve started to run off to her room, presumably to call and tell Ella the good news. Mom called after her. "Just take it easy OK! I know how you girls can get. I don't want you hurting yourself!"

I could already hear the muffled sound of Eve chattering away on her phone from the other room. "I will mom!" She yelled, and then the excited chatter continued. I was pretty excited myself. It had been almost two months since Ella had come over. She had spent the better part of that in Mexico on vacation, and judging by photos on Facebook, she had spent a lot of time at the beach and had the body to prove it.

One glimpse of that body felt like all I would need. I could finally get my mind off Eve, and maybe fill my spank bank with Ella instead. I made my way into my room to pick out some clothes that would make a good impression. From down the hall I could hear Eve's voice. "OK babes see ya in fifteen! Mwah!" With only fifteen minutes to get ready, I made a decision. I left my clothes in the dresser and set off for the bathroom. I needed a shower, and what better way to make an impression than to come out of the bathroom in just a towel?

In my excitement, I may have been a bit overzealous. I was in and out of the shower in less than ten minutes. Ella still wasn't there, and I was left standing in the bathroom in nothing but a towel. I waited, listening for her voice coming down the hall. It seemed like forever, until finally I heard what I was waiting for.

"Oh my god. No way! You totally have to show me!" It was Ella's voice, and she was coming this way. Taking that as my cue, I opened the bathroom door and stepped out into the hall. I was wrapped in a towel from the waist down, and with another I pretended to nonchalantly dry my hair.

"Ooh lala. Hey there Adam. Looking good." Ella gave me a quick glance up and down. She looked pretty amazing herself. Her skin was tanned to a nutty brown, and the curves of her tits and ass seemed more distinct than ever. She was wearing a black tank top with a diving neckline that beautifully showed off her cleavage, and a pair of shorts that barely covered her ass. I felt my dick start to grow, and dropped my hair towel down to hide it. "Oh hey Ella. Sorry, I didn't know you were coming so soon or I would have been dressed. "

"Oh? I'm coming alright." Her emphasis was on the word coming, as she bit her lip and ran an index finger down my chest. "I'll see you, later."(emphasis on you) They passed by me and went into Eve's room, and I heard giggling the moment they shut the door.

I felt pretty accomplished. I had intended to impress her, and maybe the touch and innuendo were just teasing, but I thought I did, at least a little. With my plan complete, I went into my room, got dressed, and headed out to the living room to watch Netflix and plan my next move.

As the day wore on, I started to lose hope. Eve came out a couple times for food or sodas, but I didn't see Ella at all. They usually never stayed cooped up in Eve's room for so long. The hours ticked by, and I started to become more and more disappointed as it didn't look like I was going to see Ella at all during her visit.

I just kind of sat there, watching Netflix, or occasionally starting up a game for a bit, as the day, and my chances passed me by. Mom left for work around nine thirty, and I hoped a lack of supervision would draw. Still the time kept ticking by, and still they never came out. At shortly before eleven, I was watching some overly corny zombie movie, and dozing off a bit, more from boredom than tiredness. It was at just that time that I was jolted awake by someone flopping onto the couch beside me.

I opened my eyes to see Ella smiling at me. "Hey there stud. Failing asleep already? Didn't I tell you I'd see you later?"

"Oh hey Ella. What's up?" It wasn't the most suave phrase I ever uttered, but then again I was asleep just seconds before.

She turned her body to face me, as Eve came in and sat on my other side. "OK, so we were hoping you could help us out. See there's this guy I really want to impress." My heart sank a bit as she spoke. She had a boyfriend, or would soon. I guess i wasnt surprised. Who could resist a girl like her? "So we've been trying to pick a sexy outfit." That was a bit more promising. "So if we do a little fashion show, could you help pick out something sexy?" Ella wanted me to judge her modelling sexy outfits. What else could I say.

"Oh, yeah sure. My pleasure." She jumped up in a flash, grabbing Eve's hand and dragging her along back to Eve's bedroom. I turned off the movie, and settled in to wait. After only a couple minutes, the show began.

My heart nearly jumped out of my chest when she came back into the room. Ella was first, wearing a tight black dress that barely covered her ass. It tied behind her neck, and left her entire back exposed, and the front dove deep between her breasts, revealing the slightly paler skin where tan lines had formed. "Oh, by the way, feel free to take pictures so we can see after."

She smiled cheerfully as I pulled out my phone and started to snap a few shots. She even started posing. She turned slightly away from me, and stepped forward with the leg that was closer, and bent all the way down against it. "Damn, you're flexible." She bit her lip and gave a little nod as she arched her back and slowly brought her body back up, running her hands up her long leg as she rose. The back of her dress had lifted slightly as she bent, revealing the lower part of her bare ass underneath. Only a tiny bit of fabric that must have been a thong hid her pussy from me.

I was instantly rock hard. She looked fucking amazing, and I couldn't imagine how the night could possibly get any better. I snapped a few pics for further….reference. She blew a kiss in my direction as she stood up and made her way back to Eve's room. As she left, Eve passed her on her way in.

My cock pulsated in my pants. If I wanted to get Eve out of my mind, the way she was dressed certainly wasn't going to help. She wore a pair of cut off jean shorts so short that they left half her ass exposed. Her top was designed to look like a red bandana tied around her tits, with a bikini like clasp in the back.

She smiled as I raised my phone and started taking pictures, and walked over to the wall in front of me. She spread her legs to just past shoulder width, bent forward, and put both hands on the wall while arching her back and keeping her legs straight. From that angle, I could see that the shorts were cut so close to the inseam, that they barely covered her pussy, and part of her outer lips were visible on each side. I couldn't tell for sure if she was wearing panties, but I didn't think so.

After giving her ass a little wiggle, she straightened up and headed back towards her bedroom. I had a few moments before Ella came out again, and used them to adjust my boner, hoping to lessen its visibility. When she emerged, it was in the most revealing outfit yet.

I suppose you could consider it a dress, though it was more hole than fabric. It was hot pink and made of some very stretchy material that reached from just above her tits, to just below her ass, and was basically just netting. At a guess, the holes were maybe an inch wide with half an inch between each.

Underneath it she wore a similarly hot pink thing, and was braless. I could make out the outline of her erect nipples in the corners where four holes met. I hoped against hope that the fabric would shift and reveal them, but somehow it stayed in place. There was no denying the outfit was sexy as hell, but to me it was w bit too revealing. I always enjoyed an air of mystery, and her outfit left very little to the imagination.

She massaged her beautiful small c cup breasts as I watched and took pictures, and then slipped the top down, using only her arm to hide her nipples. My heart jumped, so ready to see them I could die. To my great disappointment, she flashed me only a wink and turned to go back, presumably for the next outfit.

Then it was Eve's turn again. There are no words to express how turned on I was as she stepped into the room. She was every guy's fantasy. The first thing I noticed were her white thigh high stockings. Above them, and revealing a fair bit of skin, was a short plaid pencil skirt, and the an sheer white tank top that stopped just below her belly button and a white button up shirt tied together at the bottom. She was the embodiment of a naughty schoolgirl. She had even put her hair in pigtails.

I watched in awe as she pranced around in front of me and then untied the outer shirt. It fell open, revealing her pink nipples through the thin fabric of the tank top. I wanted her. There was no denying it. It took every ounce of self control I had to merely take pictures, rather than taking her right there. Suddenly she spun away from me, bent over and flipper up her skirt. The panties beneath were also white, and see through everywhere except directly over her pussy. She coverer her mouth with her hand and gave her best "oops" expression, before quickly skipping away.

My cock strained against my pants, begging to be freed, and now that I had the pictures on my phone, I planned to do just that when I was alone. It was a couple minutes before they emerged again, this time together. They both wore long t-shirts, and I could tell from their nipples they were both braless underneath. I was dumbstruck, my mind was full of fantasy, but there were no words

It was Ella who spoke. "OK so what was the sexiest? Outfit I mean, it wouldn't be fair to judge us. I mean Eve's your sister after all."

"Oh. Um I dunno. Ok. The skirt I think." There was really no thinking involved. Ella kissed me on the cheek, and then darted off back to the bedroom. "Well she seems excited."

"Yeah, she really wants to impress him. Can I see the pictures?" I handed her my phone as she sat down beside me and she started to flip through them. "Oh wow, we look seriously hot! Like, wow! Holy shit! Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, that was….pretty incredible. I think her boyfriend will be pretty happy."

"Oh she doesn't have a boyfriend." Eve handed my phone back as Ella called out to her from the bedroom. "Oh I left a present for you in your room. Just kinda to say thanks. Hope you like it!" With that she darted off to her room.

When she was gone I got up and made my way to my own room. I had some serious stroking to do. I was pretty touched Eve had gotten me a gift, but I didn't see how it could possibly be better than what had just happened. I was so distracted flipping through the pictures as I stepped through my doorway, that I didn't even notice my present at first.

When I looked up, I found Ella, dressed in the schoolgirl outfit and standing by the end of my bed. "Uh, what's up Ella?"

"It's time for your present sexy. Come in and sit down."


>>
Anonymous 14/08/17(Sun)15:24 No. 22300 ID: fac323

Wow, this just went off the fucking rails! The story went from AnonyMPC style slow-build "realistic" introversion to... well, porn flick plot.

Still well written, but really jarring transition.


>>
Anonymous 14/08/17(Sun)23:33 No. 22302 ID: 52c0ad

>>22300
Agreed. The whole fashion show was downright dull in my opinion too.


>>
Soli 14/08/18(Mon)05:45 No. 22305 ID: 741fe9

Thanks for the input. I understand what you mean. I had intended to do a bit more with it. It wasn't really my favorite chapter to write, but it was a way of bringing in and introducing Ella, who will be making more appearances as the story continues.

I'll likely rewrite a considerable portion of that chapter once I've finished the story and move into the final editing stage before I post it elsewhere. I do however, like to occasionally change up the mood and tempo as I write, especially when introducing new characters to the fray.

Rest assured, this won't be derailing the pace of the entire story, just a bit of a diversion for Adam's enjoyment.


>>
Anonymous 14/08/18(Mon)08:36 No. 22308 ID: f5b1c2

I actually liked it a lot and find it pretty believable. Doesn't seem at all like 'porn flick plot' at all.
Was a tad dull, though. Might have been better off with both girls showing off an outfit at the same time, then getting changed while Adam peeps.
I also think the claim that it changed from a slow buildup to be hilarious. He got a handjob from his sister in the shower, for fuck's sake.


>>
Soli 14/08/18(Mon)10:01 No. 22309 ID: 741fe9

I actually did consider, and was originally going to write them showing off together rather than taking turns. There was something, can't remember what right now, that I wasn't pleased with. I may revisit that idea when I go into a final editing process.

I think I decided it would make Eve a bit more "playful" without Ella in the room since, as far as we know, she doesn't know what happened between the siblings.

I really do wish I had done more with it now though, as you guys have echoed the same kinds of things I was thinking.

I had also intended on having them model different panties/bras, but decided they might not be quite interchangeable with different outfits. It also felt like that might have made the scene a bit more long winded without adding much.


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Anonymous 14/08/18(Mon)23:05 No. 22312 ID: fac323

>>22308
>I also think the claim that it changed from a slow buildup to be hilarious. He got a handjob from his sister in the shower, for fuck's sake.

Yeah, that happened after 5 chapters of nosex. That's a fairly slow build up


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Anonymous 14/08/19(Tue)10:27 No. 22317 ID: 036a9b

I'm alright with the PREMISE of the fashion show, and the execution was fine, but the fact that his sister had obtained a "sexy schoolgirl" outfit seemed a bit of a stretch.


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Soli 14/08/19(Tue)20:00 No. 22322 ID: 741fe9

If you think of it like the adult costumes they sell at sex shops it may be a stretch. The constituent parts however aren't hard to come by. A skirt, tank top, shirt, and stockings, could be bought pretty much anywhere. There's also amazon, which she could have easily used a gift card on to purchase the clothes.

However, it was implied, but not explicitly stated that the clothes actually belonged to Ella.


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Kal 14/08/23(Sat)18:22 No. 22335 ID: 9129fe

How dare you visit the second page, back to the front with you!


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Anonymous 14/08/27(Wed)17:19 No. 22349 ID: 9c243c

Great story so far.
I think i know where this is going but i guess i will just have to wait and see.
Do you have other stories? and if so where can i find them?


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Soli 14/08/30(Sat)19:00 No. 22358 ID: cd8c01

Hey guys, sorry about the delay on the next chapter. I've been having to work overtime lately because a coworker quit, so writing has been put on the back burner a bit. I hope to have the next chapter out this weekend.

This is actually the only story I have posted so far. I have ideas for some others but they aren't written yet. Once this one if finished I'll likely start an asstr page, and begin another story.


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Anonymous 14/09/07(Sun)11:42 No. 22397 ID: 212400

Dear GOD MOARRRRR!!!! AHRAHGHHHH


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Soli 14/09/08(Mon)20:06 No. 22400 ID: 2409a9

I swear its coming. Im in the process of rewriting the next chapter because I didn't like the way it came out. I'll try to sit down after work today and whip it into shape.


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Kal 14/09/13(Sat)18:54 No. 22422 ID: 1159d0

Waiting with bated breath


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Herman Toothrot !4Y0ohcg5mc 14/09/14(Sun)09:04 No. 22426 ID: 064e95

>>22422

Gross Kal.

I don't care how you handle cleanup, but at least have the decency to practice oral hygiene afterwards if that's the case.


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Anonymous 14/09/17(Wed)03:22 No. 22445 ID: 036a9b

You even made a little disclaimer about how you didn't like it when other people took forever to post:(


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Shadow 14/09/22(Mon)07:37 No. 22472 ID: 3756c5

I'm enjoying this story quite a bit. The dream sequence was cool and hot (in a couple senses). I also enjoyed the fashion show, but that may be because I have a weakness for sexy clothes. But it also shows how he's leaning more for Eve. I'm curious it see how he resolves his desire for his sister when another girl is available. Write on man. Write on.


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rin!y7chl82msE 14/09/22(Mon)12:43 No. 22478 ID: 8b1ade

I come out of death and I see this. Pretty good stuff so far!


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FapArtist 14/09/26(Fri)04:34 No. 22488 ID: fb89bf

Not the type of appendix I was thinking of...much better than expected, though. Only thing I was strangely disappointed by was that her surgery scar wasn't noticed during their little fashion show. Not sure why it even crossed my mind, honestly.


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Anonymous 14/10/10(Fri)01:58 No. 22551 ID: f41232

Bumpy Bump


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Soli 14/10/13(Mon)21:36 No. 22563 ID: cd8c01

Hey guys, so sorry for the long delay. I've been writing this with my phone, which got broken. Since I was close to an upgrade, I just waited it out. Well Ive got my new one now, and am just about ready to post the next chapter(its a pretty long one). Barring the end of the world it should be up in the next few hours.


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Soli 14/10/13(Mon)23:47 No. 22564 ID: cd8c01

OK as promised, here's the next chapter. Enjoy.


When Eve wore that outfit, it was sexy, but more like an innocent girl playing at being sexy. With Ella, it was the exact opposite. She was a sexual goddess wearing the guise of innocence, like a porn star in a frilly pink dress licking a lollypop.

Every seam and stitch seemed to land in exactly the right place on her body, as if the outfit had been tailored specifically for her. In fact it probably had. Ella always talked about her dreams of becoming a fashion designer, and I had seen some of the things she had made in the past. They were always good, but that outfit was out of this world.

On Eve, the stockings had easily reached mid thigh, and the skirt stopped only a bit above it, leaving only a little skin showing. On Ella's taller frame, the stockings only made it a bit above her knees, and the skirt stopped probably three inches above them, reaching only a little below her ass. Likewise, the top was much shorter on Ella, finding only the bottom of her ribs, and leaving most of her midriff exposed.

I must have looked like a total idiot standing there staring at her, well, gawking really. I half expected my tongue to drop from my mouth and roll across the floor. When I finally spoke, I must have sounded just as stupid as I looked. "I thought you were gonna be showing off your outfit to some guy."

She just gave me a sarcastic smirk as she walked towards me. "You're a guy, aren't you?" Her face was so close to mine I could feel her breath on my face, and for a second I was sure she was about to kiss me. Instead, I felt her fingers settle on my pulsating shaft, covered only by the thin fabric of my pajama pants. She leaned forward, and I felt her lips brush my ear as she whispered, "you feel like one to me."

I couldn't respond. Hell, I couldn't even think. I punched out. The lights were on but no one was home. Every ounce of awareness I possessed had rushed to my dick, like scientists rushing down to study every aspect, calculating the surface area of contact, the amount of pressure exerted, the speed of movement across the shaft, and of course, maximum hardness of the phallus.

I guess my body must have continued working without me, because when I regained my senses, I was sitting on the end of my bed. Ella stood in front of me, a beautiful Latin goddess in human form. "You ready Adam?"

"Uh, yeah. Wait, what's going on?" Ella laughed at the question like it was the funniest thing she had ever heard. It was that genuine, infectious type of laughter that I could never stop myself from joining. This time though, nervousness, confusion, or a mixture of the two stopped me at just a chuckle. I was totally fucking clueless.

"Okay, so Eve thought you deserved a reward for helping her so much. So she asked me to help. Which is great, because I've wanted to have a little fun with you for like, I dunno, ever. But like, you don't just jump your best friend's brother, right? Soooooo. Okay, just sit back and enjoy okay?" She turned away from me and started to walk over to my dresser, and then quickly stopped and came back. "Oh, let me see your phone!"

I was even more confused than before. It was a lot to process, and I didn't have a clue what she was about to do, or why she needed my phone. Still, I figured my best bet was just to do whatever she asked, so I pulled it out and handed it to her. "Great! Okay, how do you… Oh got it. Okay!" I guessed she was turning on my camera, as she immediately set it on a shelf nearby and checked to make sure it could see us both. "Ready, big boy?"

I still had no idea what was going on, but what could I say, except, "Yeah, I'm good.". Smooth, Adam. Butter.

She turned back to the dresser and grabbed her own phone. Moments later, music started to play, and she started to dance. The song was slow and sensual, and the way she moved was perfection. This wasn't twerking, or hiphop dancing. She made love to the music, and I was hypnotized.

I watched in awe as her body swayed and writhed, perfectly in time. Her hands roamed her body in a way that made me wish they were mine. They rolled down over her breasts, one stopping to knead the soft flesh, as the other continued on its downward course. It slid first down her tight stomach, then lower, down her inner thighs, and then as she turned away, up the Bach of her thigh and onto her deliciously shaped ass.

She never lost her rhythm as her hands made their way deliberately to the tied bottom of her button up shirt. Her fingers slowly, delicately untied the knot, and the shirt opened. It was like watching in slow motion, as she turned away from me and let the fabric slip off her shoulders and fall to the floor, like a leaf slowly falling to the ground on a breezy day.

Her nipples were hard when she turned to face me again, their dark peaks just visible through the shear tank top. I wondered if she was getting turned on by this. Maybe she was just cold. I was definitely turned on, in fact i was as rock hard as I could possibly be, and my body felt like it was on fire. So there was that.

Even I'd she had stopped there, the video on my phone would have given me material to beat off to for at least the next year. To my greatest pleasure however, she didn't stop. Her hands continues to take a tour of her body as she swayed in movements that were almost serpentine, or like water pulsing as the music passed through it. Eventually one of them found the zipper on the side of her skirt.

You never really think of the sound of a zipper coming down as being one of the finer things in life, but in that moment, I couldn't imagine a sweeter sound. A moment later her pencil skirt, which was incredibly sexy on
her body, found an even sexier place, on the floor.

She stepped out of it thrusting her hips to the side as the song's tempo momentarily increased, and my heart stopped in my chest. Something about that move was incredible, and my description is a far cry from doing it justice. There was nothing particularly special about it, but at the same time, it was just so god damned hot.

With the skirt off I noticed a slight change to the outfit that I hadn't caught before. Instead of the panties Eve had worn, Ella wore a pair of lacy black cheeksters. The same ones she wore in my secret picture of her. I wondered if she had known all along, and worn them just because she knew I liked them. That was probably thinking too much into it, but it was a nice thought all the same.

Once her best ass-et was mostly exposed, she started to flaunt it more, facing away from me more and arching her back, or bending over as her hips swiveled so hypnotically. I didn't mind. I've always been a bit of an ass man, and as far as I was concerned, she could tease me with it any day.

I was focusing on that gorgeous ass so intently, I almost didn't see her arms cross in front of her, and her fingers hook into the bottom of her tank top, and begin peeling it up. She turned back to me as the fabric ran away up her body, exposing more of her intoxicating flesh.

As it reached her breasts, she pulled the shirt tight, and let it catch on the bottom of her nipples, straining to lift her tits along with it. Finally the sprang free, the shirt came off, and she was topless in front of me. I think I may have drooled a little.

As if it were even possible, my pulse quickened even further, as she arched her back, and presented her nipples to me, like little candies begging me to taste them. I wanted to. Bad. But everything in its own time, and the dance hadn't ended, and I needed to see the rest.

My mind must have been short circuiting from lack of bloodflow, because as she reached down and hooked her thumbs into the waist of her panties, I saw it as if it were a series of photographs, missing just a little between them. Slowly, so god damned slowly, the black lace slid away.

I could see her pubic mound and a bareness there that seemed impossible for her age. There were no razor bumps or even the tiniest bit of stubble. I could only assume she must have waxed. It seemed strange for a girl her age to be waxing off her pubes, but I certainly wasn't going to complained.

She turned her ass back towards me, ripping the view of her shaved mound away from me just before the gate to heaven would have been exposed. My disappointment was only momentary as the panties dropped below the lushness of her ass, and then pulled back up into a scoop, lifting it, begging me to explore every luscious inch, and then continued down her thighs.

She bent low keeping her legs straight and her feet slightly apart, sliding them down rather than letting them drop. That's when I got my first peek at the promised land between her thighs. I was perfectly bare, with inner lips just barely visible between the soft plump youthful outer ones. If I could have moved I might have grabbed her and shoved myself inside right then, but as every drop of blood in my body seemed to be flooding into my dick, I was frozen in place.

When her panties reached her ankles, her back arched as she slowly straightened up, and her her hips swiveled. With that little movement, heaven opened up. I could see her perfect puckered pink asshole, which a surprised me considering her skin tone, and just below it her lips parted revealing their even pinker insides glistening with wetness. So she was getting turned on after all.

The song ended just as she straightened up. Had I been capable of thought at the time, I might have been amazed by her timing, and wondered if she had practiced, or choreographed her dance. Of course I wasn't, and I didn't. The only thought in my mind was how bad I wanted her.

She turned to face me, and bit her lip in a way that screamed "fuck me." And I was prepared to do just that. I watched her intently, until finally she broke the silence. "So…..did you like that?"

"Huh? Oh! Yea, Jesus yes. That was…. Wow. I mean.. " she smiled broadly and practically tackled me as she jumped on the bed and locked her lips onto mine. She tasted so sweet as her tongue slipped between my teeth, and her naked body pressed against me was absolutely maddening.

After a few seconds she broke the kiss and got off of me. "Okay, scoot up." She motioned towards the head of the bed, and I obliged, sliding back until I was leaning against my headboard. I wasn't sure what was about to happen, but I wanted it, bad.

Ella hopped off the bed, grabbed my phone and checked to make sure it was still recording and hadn't run out of memory,(unlikely with the new 16gb SD card I had just put in two weeks before) an repositioned it to face my current position. Then she slipped off her stockings and climbed, or crawled really, back onto the bed beside me. Her hand found my rock hard dick as I watched her ass wave through the air, and it pulsed it appreciation.

"Would you like me to suck it, Adam?" Come on, did she really need to ask?

"Oh fuck, yes!" Before I could even finish answering her, her hands found their way under my shirt, and began lifting it. I leaned forward to help as she tugged the shirt up and over my head. No sooner was it off than her hands were on my bare chest, and her lips on my neck. My head tilted back almost of its own volition. God it felt amazing.

My skin tingled as her finger traced their was down my chest, and she followed them with her lips, kissing her way down. First my neck, then my collarbone, my breastbone, my nipple,(with a little flick of her tongue I was surprised to find I quite enjoyed) my stomach, and finally my waist. Her fingers hooked into the waistband of my pants and gave a little tug. I lifted my body slightly, and she pulled. The came down easily, and my cock finally sprang free from its confinement, almost smacking her in the face in the process.

"Whoa. Adam. Damn, dude. I mean it felt big but… Shit. Nice." She may have just been pumping my ego. I was definitely above average, but I never really thought of eight inches as huge. Still it was nice, and she seemed genuine in the compliment. Even more so as she wrapped her fingers around my shaft and started to stroke.

The head glistened with precum that was starting to run down the underside of my throbbing member, and she looked right into my eyes as she first bit her lip in that sexy way that drove me wild, and then ran her tongue from base to tip, licking it all up. It was the first time a tongue had ever touched my cock, and I'll be damned if it wasn't everything I had hoped for and more.

"Ohhh…fuck." I moaned softly as her soft silky lips surrounded the sensitive head of my cock. Her tongue rolled inside her mouth, and massaged my dick in a way no hand ever could.

Her motions were fluid, rising and descending on my cock, her hand perfectly in time with her mouth and twisting slightly as she slowly pumped me. I don't think I had ever felt anything so good in my entire life.

Her ass wiggled in the air as she sucked me, drawing my eyes to its perfect contours. When she caught my gaze shifting there she momentarily took me out of her mouth. "Do you want to touch me baby?" She asked, never stopping stroking me. I couldn't speak through the pleasure, and my only response was a nod. She smiled up at me. "Good."

She rotated her body around, so that her ass was pointed towards the head of the bed. From her position on her knees, I could see everything spread out before me. I reached out and placed my hand on her ass as she returned to sucking me. It was soft, but somehow firm as well, and I took great pleasure in giving it a good squeeze.

Slowly, cautiously, I moved my hand down, gingerly brushing her outer lips, still somehow afraid that she didn't want me to touch her there. She showed no sign of rejecting my touch, which emboldened me. I started to rub three fingers over her labia. It was so silky smooth, that she either just didn't grow hair, or did indeed wax. She moaned a slight appreciation as the tip of my middle finger found her swollen pearl, hidden under its hood.

I looked down at her, her head bobbing up and down on my cock, and pressed down on her hard little clit. She shuddered slightly, and then increased her speed. She liked it. I was beyond ecstatic. I started to rub little circled around it as she moaned around my shaft. God she was so wet.

As I rubbed, my thumb found her hole, and I let it slip inside. She was so impossibly tight, and I could feel her muscles squeezing around it. I started to slide it in and out in time with her sucking, trying to imagine it was really my cock slipping into her warm depths, and then I felt her hand come off my dick.

She stopped stroking me, and instead, started to take me deeper and deeper in her mouth. After a few strokes, I felt my head reach the back of her throat. She pulled back, and then took it to the back of her throat again. Then, in a moment that I will remember for the rest of my life, it went further. Down, down, down it went, until her lips reached all the way to the very bottom of of my shaft. I don't know how I didn't cum right then. Holy shit she was amazing.

She did it twice more, moaning as my fingers pressed into her sensitive areas, and then took her mouth off and looked up at me. "Soooo… You wanna try something else? I mean, I can keep going and you can cum down my throat if you want, but I'm really horny, and I wanna cum too."

I was pretty sure I knew what she meant, and although the prospect of blowing a load deep down her throat was tempting, I certainly wouldn't pass up a chance to sample whatever else she might have to offer. After all, it might have been my only chance. "Yeah, definitely!"

"Oh, awesome! Okay, so I'll just-" She turned and repositioned herself so that she was straddling me. Her sweet wet pussy pressed firmly against the underside on my cock, just waiting to be filled.

"So, I can't fuck you. Eve made me promise." My heart sank, and for a second I was livid at Eve. Then I realized that, without her, none of this would even be happening. Still I didn't understand why she would tell Ella not to. "Buuuuut… She didn't say we couldn't grind."

I was confused. "Grind?"

"Yeah, like this." She pressed her pussy against my dick, and started to rock her hips. I have to admit, it might not have been what I was hoping for, but it felt pretty damn good anyway. "You like it?"

"Mm. Yeah."

She smiled again. "Good, me too. I'm mostly clitoral anyway, so I do this with my dildo all the time. Just don't cum before me."

Mind. Blown. When I was her age, I barely knew what a clit was, and I had never even heard the phrase I'm mostly clitoral. On top of that, she had a dildo? What the fuck? Kids these days.

Meanwhile she continued writhing, letting her sweetness rise and fall against me. She locked her lips against mine again. They were full and soft, and her tongue met mine so happily. I really liked kissing her.

Her fingers entwined into my shaggy hair as she bucked against me, and I could feel her hard nipples pressed against my chest. I'm not the religious type, but I may have prayed a little that she would slide up just a little too far, impaling herself on my rod on the downstroke.

I slid my hands down her smooth skin to her ass, delighting in the goosebumps that followed in their wake. I could tell she was really enjoying it, and that made it much more pleasurable for me. I squeezed and kneaded the flesh of her ass with both hands, and then my fingertip found her asshole.

It was tight, but not clenched, and her movements caused the tip to sink in slightly as she rocked. The wetness from her pussy had spread to it, and with only a slight bend of my finger, it would have gone right in. She kissed me deeper and reached one hand back and took hold of mine. I figured she was trying to say she didn't like ass play.

To my surprise, she brought my hand up and stuck my finger in her mouth, sucking and rolling her tongue around it. Then she dragged it back down to her ass, pointed my now moistened finger at her tight little hole, and pushed it in. She kissed me harder than before as she guided me to slide my finger in and out, and started moaning through the kiss. I couldn't take it anymore. It was too much. I was going to-

"Cum Adam. Cum with me baby!" As if that was all I needed to hear, my load spewed. She leaned back grinding just her clit against the base of my shaft, as my sticky cum shot up her belly, and dribbled down over her mound.

I could feel her muscles spasm through her ass, and she almost screamed as her own orgasm took her, as my cum was still spraying up her belly. She pressed and moaned and spasmed, squeezing every last drop of cum from my cock, and then fell back onto my bed panting. "That felt fucking goooood. Shit Adam, we need to really fuck sometime soon. Oh! Hey Eve!"

I followed her gaze over to the door of my room, and there was Eve, just staring at us. "Oh. shit."


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Anonymous 14/10/14(Tue)08:20 No. 22567 ID: 90f6b2

Very good sir, what will Eve's reaction be?


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Soli 14/10/15(Wed)04:06 No. 22570 ID: cd8c01

Haha, try and guess.


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rin!y7chl82msE 14/10/15(Wed)13:49 No. 22571 ID: 8b1ade

Awww yeah. Good stuff sir.


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Shadow 14/10/16(Thu)09:07 No. 22575 ID: 3756c5

Glad to see this update. Very nice strip tease sir! But now we have a love triangle going. How will this resolve? And how does this all connect to that omnious beginning?


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The+Other+Rick 14/10/23(Thu)14:16 No. 22600 ID: d41ba5

More than just a shameless bump, I would like to ask for the writer to please continue. This has boat loads of potential. Please keep going. Anticipation sucks.


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Soli 14/10/26(Sun)12:23 No. 22617 ID: cd8c01

Ok guys. Its that time again. This one might be a bit shorter, but I think it will be relevant to your interests.


Shame washed over me, and I reached for the first thing I found to cover myself. It turned out to be my T-shirt. Why did I feel ashamed, Eve had seen me naked. Hell she had jerked me off in the shower. She was practically naked herself, just wearing a tight red pair of panties, and a shear whit T-shirt through which her nipples were easily visible. How long had she been there? What had she seen? Why did I suddenly feel so fucking weird.

Maybe it was because Ella was still laying spread eagle in front of me, cum pooling on her belly, and running down her swollen lips. She seemed completely unperturbed, and was actually smiling at Eve. What in the name of fuck was going on?

"Eve. I um.. Shit i-"

She cut me off. "Relax Adam its fine. I just need to borrow Ella if you guys are done."

Ella grinned. "Oh? What for babes? I'm kinda comfortable."

"Ella, come on. You know, that thing we were gonna do."

"Ohhhh. That. Well why don't we just do it here. Adam won't mind, right?" I didn't know what she was talking about, but I shook my head in agreement.

Eve shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other as if she had to pee, waiting for Ella to get up and follow her off to the other room. When she finally came to the conclusion Ella wasn't coming she gave an exasperated sigh and came in, shutting the door behind her. "Fine. Whatever."

She made her way slowly into the room. For a moment she just stood by the side of the bed. Her eyes asked me things I didn't understand, but I could see her nerves going wild. If I could have felt her pulse, I'm sure her heart rate would have been insane. Finally, in motions so quick I hardly saw them, she stripped off her shirt and panties. Suddenly, we were all naked. "Whoa, what the fuck is going on?"

After a pause while Eve climbed up onto the bed, it was Ella who answered. "Well, I'm actually Eve's girlfriend. See I'm bi. I've actually only had one boyfriend and he turned out to be gay, which explained why he never went near my pussy, just wanted me to blow him and finger his ass all the time. Eve says she's bi, but I've never seen her really even look at a guy, so I dunno. Anyway we haven't fucked in forever and she's horny now, soooo…"

I looked over at Eve. Her perky pink nipples were already hard. And I could see a little glisten of wetness between her thighs as Ella traced her fingers over Eve's belly, trying to avoid the almost healed scar. Eve shrugged at me. "Just, if you're gonna watch don't be weird about it. And can we turn that off now?" She motioned towards my phone which was still recording us.

"Oh, uh yeah. Sure." I reached over and grabbed my phone. It was still recording, and I tapped the screen to stop it. "I can go play Xbox or watch TV or something if you want to be alone…." Truly, I wanted to stay. Even through my post cum shame, I still wanted to see this. I couldn't stop myself.

Eve looked up at me, as if she was about to agree I should leave. She opened her mouth to speak, and then closed it again. She glanced over at Ella, then back to me, and took a deep breath. "No. It's ok. Stay."

"Eve I do-"

"I want you to stay. Okay? Just stay." The shame was intensifying. I knew I should just leave, but instead I just nodded and settled back on my bed.

Ella had been silently watching, and suddenly seemed excited, like she had just had the best idea of her life. "Ooh! Eve! So you know how you were asking me what cum tasted like, and saying you kinda wanted to try it? Well." She pointed to my cum which was still dripping down her body.

"Oh my god Ella! But that's Adam's. That's like incest!"

"Oh come on! It totally doesn't count if If its not straight from his dick. Besides you just told me earlier you gave him a handjob in the shower."

"ELLA! What the fuck!? I told you not to say anything! Anyway, that was different. I was just helping him since he helped me!"

I was in shock. My eyes darted back and forth between them. Ella knew about the shower. What else might she know? This could ruin our lives, and she was just so casual about it.

"Come on babes, lick me clean!"

Eve looked up at me, as if seeking approval, but I was too dumbstruck to give input either way. "Ugh, fine. God, you're such a cunt sometimes."

Despite her hesitation, Eve bent down to Ella, put out her tongue, and licked a sticky glob off of her stomach. "See not that bad right? Its kinda gross once it cools, but warm its really not bad at all."

Eve shrugged and with a mouthful of cum mumbled, "Yeah? Well it's fucking cold, and it tastes gross." Still she kept licking, first off Ella's tight belly, then her hip, then her mound, and finally her pussy. Ella cooed softly as Eve's tongue slipped between her soft lips. Soon Ella was clean, and I was hard, again. I felt like if my dick got hard one more time, it was probably just going to fall off.

Eve stayed at Ella's pussy, and continued licking, flicking her tongue between those puffy lips which had been hugging my cock just minutes before. Her ass waved at me, as if greeting an old friend as she arched her back, savoring every mingled drop of Ella's juices and my spilled seed.

I watched, unable to help myself as her pussy spread wide in front of my eyes, and her perfect pick asshole flexed with each movement. "Fuck me!" They screamed. "Fuck me all the ways you've dreamt of but never done. Fuck me the way you imagine fucking when you lay awake at night with your dick in your hand, imagining the soft wetness you've never truly had the chance to enjoy."

And my dick was in my hand. The shame was gone. Pure fantastical lust had replaced it, and only fear stopped me from taking her.

My hand moved slowly up and down my shaft, matching the rhythmic rise and fall of her hips, like the tide rising along a sandy beach. That image stuck with me as I watched. Each stroke like a wave washing over me, cascading over me with a pleasant warmth.

I was so enraptured I hadn't even noticed Ella watching me. She was smiling when our eyes met, and silently mouthed "take it off." I had forgotten the T-shirt covering my lower half. I had forgotten everything except what was before my eyes. Still, I did as she asked. The T-shirt fell away, and she bit her lip as my cock was again in full view.

She wasn't watching Eve. In fact she seemed utterly uninterested in the sweet, beautiful girl who was working so hard to please her. It made me angry, and that turned me on more. I wanted to fuck that ungrateful bitch up her tight little ass until she cried and begged to be allowed to please Eve. In that moment, it didn't matter that she wanted me. It only mattered that she was disrespecting Eve.

Either Ella didn't see the anger on my face, or she mistook it for desire. Either way, moments later she pushed Eve's head away and made her roll over. I didn't know if Eve knew about Ella, but if she did, she made no sign, only complied as Ella positioned her so that her spread legs were only inches in front of me. She then climbed on top of Eve and settled her pussy over her mouth, which Eve diligently continued to lick and suck.

Eve's pussy was glistening, begging for attention as Ella spread it before me, and the leaned down to lick. I would have been pleased, if not for the fact that her eyes never left me. She was supposed to please my sister, but she was watching me angrily jerk off instead.

So I snapped. I let go of my cock, grabbed her hair with one hand, and slapped her with the other, and then shoved her face into Eve's sweet pussy. The bitch fucking loved it. She moaned with the sort of pleasure she hadn't even pretended that Eve was eliciting.

That just pissed me off more. At least now she was sucking Eve's pussy like she was meant to be in the first place, which gave me some small degree of solace.

I tightened my grip in her hair, and shoved my cock right into her face, letting my hand smack into it as I stroked it. Again and again I squeezed, forcing her to eat Eve's pussy like her life depended on it as my hand smacked into her cheek, smearing precum all over her face.

Soon I heard Eve starting to moan, and felt my balls starting to tighten. Good. She deserved to cum, and I was going to as well, right in Ella's face. That's when I felt Ella's hand settle over mine on my cock. I was surprised, and despite my anger was powerless to stop her from taking over.

She stroked my cock furiously, as Eve let out a moan that was almost a scream, and her body began to spasm. As if that was my cue my own tide finally came in, and my grip on Ella's hair loosened as my cock pulsed.

My balls spewed their sticky contents, just as Ella lifted her head and stuck out her tongue just enough to catch the first jet, right over Eve's pussy.

I watched helplessly as my cum shot onto Ella's tongue, and all over Eve's pussy. I watched as it ran down and into her spasming hole. I watched as the final spurt missed Ella entirely, and shot right into Eve. I watched as Ella ran her tongue down Eve's hot slit, not to collect my cum, but rather to push it all inside.

Jesus Ella. What the fuck did you just do?


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Anonymous 14/10/26(Sun)15:31 No. 22619 ID: f5b1c2

Oh wow, NTR. Fuck you.


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Soli 14/10/27(Mon)18:56 No. 22625 ID: adf5fa

Not sure what you're getting at. But I suppose if I must be fucked, I shall.


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Anonymous 14/10/28(Tue)12:58 No. 22636 ID: e8bf00

well I liked it, maor plz


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Soli 14/10/30(Thu)06:19 No. 22654 ID: cd8c01

Friends, romans, countrymen, here we have it. Act 1 is finished, and act 2 is soon to begin. This chapter is short, and serves primarily as a bridge between the primarily lighthearted first act, and the second, which will delve into darker waters.

Without further adieu, I give you the interlude.


Apparently Ella thought that my cum inside my little sister was fucking hilarious. She rolled off of Eve giggling. The expression on Eve's face wasn't quite so joyful, anger overtaking the pleasure she was still coming down from.

"Ella. Did you. Just FUCKING. Jerk Adam off. In my GOD DAMN pussy?!"

"Mhmmmm." Ella was still smiling happily, blissfully ignorant of the fact that Eve looked about two seconds from punching her right in the cunt.

"What if I got pregnant? Did you stop to think about that? No, you fucking didn't! You just did what you want, like you always do! He's my fucking brother, Ella!"

"Dude, calm down. Its not a big deal, its just cum. Its not like I stuck his dick in you. I mean he obviously wanted to. You guys have this weird sexual vibe anyway. I thought you'd like it. Shit. Besides you've been on the pill since, like, your first period or something."

That actually made sense. The pill part, I mean. Mom had gotten pregnant when she was sixteen and my dad was a high school jock desperately hiding in the closet. She always said I wasn't a mistake, but I knew she sometimes wished she had been able to be a normal teen and young adult. So it made sense she'd want to protect Eve from having a baby until she was older. I was actually really relieved, and thankful for my moms paranoia.

"Yeah I have, but for all you know I could have gone off it! We haven't talked about it in months, and on top of that, the doctors told me the antibiotics they put me on could interfere with it!"

"Damn, Eve. I'm sorry. I didn't think-"

"You didn't think! That's the fucking problem! Look. I think it would be best if you called your mom and said you're not feeling well tonight."

"Eve, c'mon."

"No. Ella, I'm serious. I love you, you're my best friend, and we'll talk tomorrow. But, right now I need to go try to wash this jizz out, and then I need to be alone. Okay?"

"Yeah. I get it. I'm sorry…" I could see tears trying to form in her eyes, and I suddenly felt bad for her, but Eve was right. What Ella had done, hell, what we all had done, was stupid and irresponsible.

Eve leaned over and kissed Ella, and then got up and left the room. Moments later I heard the shower turn on. A single tear ran down Ella's cheek as she got up and gathered her things. She looked over at me, and in a voice inches away from truly crying said "Adam, I'm so so sorry."

I nodded sympathetically to her, and she ran up to me, and kissed me, much the same way as Eve had kissed her, and then she too left the room. I heard her muffled voice from the living room soon after.

I sat alone, naked in my room after that, a million thoughts coursing through my head. What if Eve got pregnant? Would Ella ever come back? Would she and my sister still be friends? On and on and back and forth. Eventually I heard the door open and close, Ella leaving. I wished I had said goodbye, apologized for being so rough with her, but it was too late.

Soon after Ella left, Eve reemerged. She was still naked, with only a towel draped over her shoulders as she entered my room. Her hair hung damp and kinky over shoulders, and here and there water droplets clung to her bare freckled skin.

I shot her a questioning look as she finished towelling off, and tossed the damp cloth over the chair in my corner. She shot back a noncommittal shrug, saying with her body if not her mouth, that I had already seen all there was to see, so why bother getting dressed.

"Move over," she said as she approached the side of my bed and started to climb into it. I obliged, realizing I hadn't yet gotten dressed either, but she didn't seem to care, and I guess I thought basically the same way she did about nudity at this point.

Once she was in bed, she threw the blanket over us, and then leaned back against my chest. Her skin was chilly after her shower, and I could feel gooseflesh as it pressed against my own bare skin. Once she was comfortable, she took my arms and wrapped them around her. Her cool goosepimped breasts, and erect nipples pressed against my arms, but she made no attempt to move them. Instead she held them tight against her body, as if she were afraid I would let go.

We stayed like that for awhile, not speaking. I simply held her as her skin warmed with my touch, feeling her chest rise and fall with each breath. Everything was silent, save for our slow rhythmic breathing.

Finally, Eve broke the silence with a short dry laugh. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing really, its just kinda fitting right? I mean Adam and Eve were the first people to ever commit incest." Despite myself I laughed a little too.

"Maybe, but I kind of see that more as masturbation. I mean Eve was made from his rib, so basically he was fucking part of himself."

"Hmm, yeah I guess, but still." She paused there, as if preparing what she wanted to say next. "Adam, I'm sorry. I should have known Ella would do something like that."

"It'd not your fault Evie. You couldn't have known."

"No, I could. She wants you, she always has. And when I told her what happened in the shower…. Fuck she practically creamed her panties in excitement. I think she was hoping you'd fuck me and she could watch."

"Eve, I wouldn't-"

"I know Adam. I'm just saying. She thinks its hot, and she wasn't totally wrong about things between us. I mean, yeah I jerked you off because I could tell you needed it, but I wanted to. I've never seen or touched a real dick before. I wanted to see what it felt like to make a guy cum. I know it's weird and you're my brother…. I just… I…"

I squeezed her as she faltered for words, emotion starting to overtake her calmness. "It's ok. You don't need to explain yourself. It's not like you wanted to fuck me. We all get curious, and I'm the only guy you ever see pretty much. So it's fine.

She sighed. "Yeah… I guess."

We laid like that for awhile, just talking. She told me not to worry because she was still on the pill, and that she was off the antibiotics, and that the cum hadn't gone in very far anyway.

She told me about her relationship with Ella. It has started as experimentation, and continued because it was better than masturbating. She wasn't really that into girls, but she just hadn't found the right guy. I told her she would, and that she had plenty if time.

She told me she never really had feelings for Ella, other than being her friend, and how she had always known I was the one she really wanted to get her hands on, and asked me why I got so rough with Ella. Then she squeezed my arms tight around her like a hug when I explained. She told me that it was sweet and that I was really a great brother.

She even joked about how horrible my cum tasted and that she would really have to love someone to let him put that shit in her mouth, but if it happened again anyway, it had better be warm. We both laughed that that, despite the awkwardness.

An hour passed, then two as we talked, and laughed, with her naked form wrapped in my arms the entire time. Despite our nudity, it was never sexual. It was just nice, a brother and sister just enjoying each others company. We slept that way as well, until shortly before mom came home, when we woke up briefly so as not to be found naked in bed together.

The next day, mom told us she had been given offered a raise and promotion to take over the night shift at work permanently. We told her that was great and she should go for it. She also decided it was OK for Eve return to sleeping in her own room, but that night she still came into mine, saying it felt weird to sleep alone after sharing a bed with me. I didn't mind. I felt the same way.

Other than sharing a bed, everything was business as usual. Eve and I seemed to spend more time together, and everything was easy, like we had finally cleared out all the weird tension that had built up. Being naked around each other lost its awkwardness, although neither of us went out of our way to expose ourselves, usually anyway.

Eve's period came and went, which she actually did reveal to me by flashing her pussy, accessorized with a beautiful white string while sitting in front of me reading a book in a short skirt. She found it fucking hilarious. I found it gross, but a huge relief at the same time.

So a week and a half passed without much of note. Eve made up with Ella, although they dropped the girlfriend pretext. And agreed to just be best friends who sometimes fucked each other, although not in front of me if I was just going to cum on everything, Eve added with a devious grin as she told me.

I actually did start talking to a cute girl from a town over online. She didn't have Eve's natural beauty, or Ella's smoldering sensuality, but she would do in a pinch. When I told Eve about her, she seemed happy for me, and teasingly told me to be careful not to knock her up too quick.

It was the morning after that conversation that set my whole world on end. I woke up like any other morning. Eve was already up and off doing who knows what elsewhere in the house. I reached over to grab my phone, hoping I'd have time for a quick fap to the images I had saved from Ella's night here. That was when I saw I had two new texts from an unknown number.

I opened them, thinking it was maybe my new lady of the web, who had somehow found my number.

The first read "Hey there Adam! :)"

Not off to too bad a start, I assumed it must be her. That is until I read the second.

"Do as I say, or Eve dies."


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Anonymous 14/10/30(Thu)09:17 No. 22656 ID: 9c243c

well waiting for the parts so far was hard but now i realy cant wait!

Awesome story and dont you DARE stop now


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Shadow 14/10/31(Fri)05:25 No. 22664 ID: 3756c5

Feels like a jarring shift to have death threats, but the story and sexiness have been good so far, so I'll trust that you know what you're doing with this story. I look forward to the next update!


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Anonymous 14/10/31(Fri)07:48 No. 22668 ID: 04b59a

>>22664
if you read up top, this was planned from the very beginning o.o


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Soli 14/10/31(Fri)22:37 No. 22680 ID: e00c49

Indeed, it was always going to end up here. The route changed a bit but my overall story plan always had this coming.

I understand it may be a bit of a dramatic shift in the tone, but then again, how would one ease into death threats? Lulz.

I'm working on the next chapter, which should be out pretty soon. It should serve to answer some questions, and to open up a few more.


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Soli 14/11/02(Sun)01:01 No. 22695 ID: cd8c01

Holy shit guys, just checked, and my story has now reached over 21000 words. Pretty damn insane if you ask me.

It's been a long time coming, but here we have the first chapter of act two. I hope you enjoy it.


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Soli 14/11/02(Sun)01:01 No. 22696 ID: cd8c01

It was a joke. It had to be. No one wanted to hurt Eve. Everyone who met her loved her instantly. They couldn't help themselves. She just had those endearing qualities that made it impossible not to. I shot back a text of my own.

"Whoever this is, you're not funny."

I quickly typed the number the text originated from into Google. I didn't expect to get an identity, but I figured if it was just some asshole who liked to fuck with people, someone probably would have put it online somewhere.

There was nothing. The only results I found said that it wasn't even a real number. Okay, so the fucker was spoofing his number, probably with a third party app meant to disguise their identity. As if my searching were a cue, I received a response.

"This isn't a joke Adam. And don't bother trying to find out who I am. It won't work. If you need verification that this is real, how about these?"

What followed was a series of pictures. Pictures of me with Eve, Eve with Ella, and even the three of us together. To say they cast us in a bad light was the understatement of the year.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Whoever this was could ruin my life, ruin all of our lives really, just by letting those pictures get out. "I should have deleted them." I thought, and then noticed something. The angles weren't right. They weren't hacked from my phone, or either of the girls' for that matter.

I looked around quickly. Did this guy have cameras set up in my house somehow? Was I being watched that very moment?

As if sensing my thoughts, another text chimed in.

"If you're trying to spot my cameras, don't waste your time, you'll never find them. Even if I told you where to look."

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Now there's no need for that sort of language Adam. Everyone can come out of this happy as a clam. Just, give me what I want and I'll go away."

That last line struck me. It was a quote from Stephen King's 'Storm of the Century.' Eve liked to use it sometimes when she wanted me to do something I didn't want to. Had he known that, or was it just a coincidence? If he knew, it meant he had been watching us for awhile, or maybe he was even someone we knew.

I decided to test him. If that line was a coincidence, he likely wouldn't understand what I was saying, and it probably wasn't someone we knew. I guess that might have offered some small relief.

"Sorry Linoge, I don't have a child to give you."

I didn't have to wait long to see results. "Oh good, you understood my little reference. I'm glad. That's what you can call me. Its fitting wouldn't you say? Considering I know your darkest secret. Unfortunately for you, its not a child I want."

Shit. Who the fuck was this guy?

"So what do you want?"

"For now, Adam, simply to show you something. Let's call it a proof of concept."

"OK, then show me."

"Sure thing bud! I bet you're thirsty. Why don't you go grab a soda? Eve's already in the kitchen. Watch carefully. ;)"

The fuck was that supposed to mean? I actually was thirsty, come to think of it, and despite my better interests, I was curious what this asshole was getting at. So I got up, threw on a T-shirt, and made my way to the kitchen.

Sure enough, Eve was in the kitchen. Mom was home by this time otherwise she would likely be in nothing but her panties, as she had gotten into the habit of since our night spent naked together. Instead she was wearing a pale blue spaghetti strap tank top that showed off her growing breasts beautifully, especially with her nipples erect from standing in front of the chilly refrigerator. Her short black athletic shorts also left little to the imagination, exposing the bottom of her small but shapely ass if she bent over even the slightest amount.

"Morning sunshine!" She greeted me cheerily as I stepped past her and reached into the fridge for a soda, watching her warily out of the corner of my eye. "I think I'm gonna make pancakes. Want some?"

Eve had many talents. Cooking wasn't one of them. That had always been more my thing. Her pancakes however, usually turned out pretty awesome, and my stomach answered her for me with a loud rumble.

"Wow! Ok. I'll take that as a yes. Go find us something to watch on Netflix or something while I get them started."

"Alright, what are you in the mood for?"

"Ehhh, maybe something funny? I don't really care. Whatever looks goo- OW! Fuck!"

I snapped my head towards her. "What happened? Are you ok?!"

"Dude, chill. Just got shocked by the cabinet knob. Ya know, static?" She shook her head and laughed slightly as she went back to getting the pancakes started. I watched her for a bit longer, wondering if anything else was going to happen. When nothing did I made my way to the living room and started up the Xbox.

The fuck was that? Was that was I had been meant to watch for? Static electricity? I wasn't impressed. I could rub my socks on the carpet and do the same thing.

As I sat down, my phone vibrated. I took it out and opened the new text that was waiting for me.

"Sorry, was that shocking?"

What a douche. Did he really think that was funny? I quickly sent a text back.

"Static electricity? That's all you've got?"

There was no response for a few minutes, and I thought maybe he had realized just how lame he was and given up. No such luck.

"Haha. Oh ye of little faith. To be honest, I have enough on you that I could provably make you do what I want just be threatening to release those pictures. And others. Let's just call the electricity an insurance policy in case you decide to defy me."

And then another.

"Eve gained something when she lost her appendix. A small chip. With it I can deliver a shock directly to her nervous system. A small shock would feel like static. A larger one, and she's out cold. Even larger. Well I think you can guess. I'd rather not use it."

I didn't know if any of it was true. Could someone really sneak a chip in during an appendectomy? Wouldn't the surgeons notice? Was this guy a surgeon? Most importantly, could I risk calling his bluff?

I decided to play along, for awhile at least. I promised myself that somehow, I'd take this bastard down.

"So what do you want?"

"All in good time, Adam. For now, enjoy your pancakes and your sister's company. We'll get to that when the time is right."

Just as I finished the text, Eve came in, pancakes in hand. She passed me a plate and plopped down beside me. "So what are we watching?"

With what was going on I had completely forgotten to find a movie to watch. "Oh..um."

"Oh, give it." She took the controller from me and started flipping through the Netflix menu. In short order she settled on super troopers, always a good choice, though it was a bit hard to focus on.

I did my best to push the thought of what might be coming out of my mind, and about half way into the movie I actually did start to enjoy myself. Good movie, better company, and, well the pancakes were a but overdone this time, but still pretty good anyway. Any other day I'd have been in great spirits.

Eve seemed to notice I wasn't quite myself, and did her best to cheer me up any way she could. She cracked jokes, and did little impersonations of the movie. Her stoner kid was actually so good it made me wonder if she had actually been getting high without me knowing. Speaking of which, I could have seriously gone for a bowl right about then.

I smiled and even laughed a bit at her antics, and when she whipped her tits out acting like the German girl and bouncing on the couch I nearly choked on a mouthful of pancakes. Still, those texts never fully left my mind. What did that fucker want?

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Eve and I watched some more Netflix, and played a few rounds of zombies. Mom came out around four and we all had supper together before she had to head off to work again. Afterwards Eve settled in with her laptop, presumably to update her blog, or chat with her friends, or whatever she did, while I tried to distract myself playing DMC. I may have had a few too many games.

I waited for a text from my new pal Linoge, but it never came. I started to wonder if it really had all been some sort of sick joke. Or maybe I was going insane and had imagined the whole thing. That could be possible. I did get a message from my new female friend. Unfortunately, it contained a picture of her with a mouthful of cock, holding up a sign that said "Sorry Adam :)." Bitch looked really sorry.

The night waned on. Eve and I eventually went to bed together. She cuddled up to me that night. Her closeness felt nice, and helped me push dark thoughts far enough from my mind that I was finally able to drift off to sleep. Sadly my sleep wasn't peaceful.
In my dreams I found myself in a large dark room. It was like an old abandoned warehouse. Hanging from the rafters above, were two bright spotlights.

Beneath one sat what appeared to be an electric chair. Eve was strapped into it, panicking. I tried to run to her, but found that my ankle was chained to the floor. I called out to her but no sound would escape my lips.

I looked around me inside my own spotlight. On the floor was a young raven haired girl, bloody and trembling. My hands were speckled with her blood, and bruises were rapidly forming on my knuckles. Had I beaten her.

As I looked up again, not far outside the range of the light pouring its hot glow over me, a group of shadows stood. I could see their sneering grins even though their faces were hidden. "Fuck her." They whispered to me. "Fuck her, and kill her."

No! I wouldn't. I wouldn't hurt her anymore. They couldn't make me. Their grins grew wider at my refusal. I heard Eve scream as electricity passed through her body. "Stop it!" I tried to scream.

Eve slumped in her chair, gasping for breath as the shock ended. They were torturing her. Forcing me to do what they wanted. I had no choice.

I knelt down and grabbed the girl(Ella?) by her hips, dragging her up in front of my hard cock. Why was I so hard? I didn't feel at all turned on. Had they drugged me? Was I just the Tijuana mule in their own personal donkey show.

I shoved my dick into the girls mostly dry pussy, hard. She screamed as I plunged into her. "I'm sorry." I thought. "I don't have a choice."

Harder and harder I fucked her while Eve watched, sobbing the entire time. I had to save her. I had to get her out of this mess. One of the shadows threw a belt to me. "Kill her!" They chanted. I had to. Fuck me, I had to kill her.

I slid the belt through the buckle, and put the loop over her head. Slowly I pulled it tight. I was crying now too. I fucked and pulled and pulled and fucked. The girl beneath me struggled to free herself but could not. "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.". Finally the life slipped from her body and she slumped onto the floor.

Grins widened, slight applause broke the near silence of the room. Oh god. What had I done?

My eyes snapped open. Tears ran down my cheek. Eve was nestled safely against my body, her head resting on my chest. It was a dream. It was only a dream.


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Anonymous 14/11/02(Sun)05:40 No. 22698 ID: f5b1c2

>completely invisible cameras inserted without anyone noticing
>surgically implanted chip capable of delivering electrical shocks by remote control
Well this story went from 'fun and cute' to 'dark and utterly retarded' really fucking quickly.

>user was banned for this post


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Soli 14/11/02(Sun)07:50 No. 22699 ID: cd8c01

No one said the cameras were invisible. Maybe they're just well hidden, or even mobile. Or maybe linoge is making things up, banking on Adam not knowing enough about technology to call his bluff.

Or it could be something entirely different. Wait, and keep reading, and all will be explained in time.


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Anonymous 14/11/02(Sun)12:31 No. 22701 ID: 1c90da

>>22699
I can't help but think of parallels here to a certain AnonyMPC story. Perhaps I have a guess at, er, what kind of person this Linoge is.


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Anonymous 14/11/02(Sun)15:41 No. 22702 ID: f14472

I'm not really a huge fan of this story myself. It reads like a cheap Chinese knock-off of AnonyMPC mixed in with some of Uncle+Rick's juvenile autistic fantasy and this latest plot twist is just silly.


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Soli 14/11/02(Sun)17:45 No. 22704 ID: cd8c01

I'll openly admit anonympc's stories played a big part in inspiring my story. Sadly, I'm not as good as he is.

This story is, in large part, an attempt to hone my technique for future projects, and i'd agree it's a bit derivitave.

I would ask that if you think you know where its going, that you keep it quiet for now, as others might not.


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IonIan 14/11/02(Sun)20:20 No. 22707 ID: 036a9b

>>22702
Anon, we recognize your status as a well-read smut critic, but your bashing the stories right in the middle of their development is detrimental to the writers' morale, and to our enjoyment of the stories. I, personally, am liking this one. AnonyMPC has been off the grid for quite a while, and I find this to be a more-than-suitable replacement. Yes, it was a jarring transition, but again, how can one provide a smooth segue into death threats? I offer my support of the writer, and would like to ask that he continue, despite this bevy of nonconstructive criticism.


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Anonymous 14/11/02(Sun)21:22 No. 22708 ID: 070290

>>22707

AnonyMPC will return in all his magnificence. We will see the glorious ends of MPC, RP, WB, and all of his other stories in our lifetime. Do not lose the faith, brother.

>I find this to be a more-than-suitable replacement.

It is not, unless you are willing to completely ignore the difference in quality between the two writers.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think he should stop writing. AnonyMPC's earliest works aren't that great either (though they don't have quite as many problems as this) so it's not like this guy is hopeless. I think he is promising but he will not get good enough to be a suitable replacement for anyone if he gets nothing but praise. Criticism is necessary for improvement.

>nonconstructive criticism.

I will give some criticism then. The problem with the recent plot twist is not that it's abrupt. Abrupt plot twists can be exciting and wonderful.

The problem is that it's an abrupt shift in *tone*. Other than the disconnected line at the beginning of the story, the author immediately shifts from "happy go lucky incest story" to "weird voyeur spy horror thriller". You went from zero to sixty instantly. It's too much too soon.

Compare that to MPC. It too had a transition from being a happy go lucky incest story to a much more serious dramatic piece. But it went slowly, so slowly that Erin and Andrew ending up involved in a prostitution ring felt completely natural and logical. The story started with Andrew blackmailing his sister, then them blackmailing her friends, then them blackmailing adults for cash, then hacking the school network. It was a slow increase in the drama of their antics, not just an immediate shift.

Other than that there are a lot of issues with uneven pacing and inconsistent characterization. It needs work. Saying otherwise is just dishonest.


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Soli 14/11/02(Sun)21:45 No. 22710 ID: cd8c01

To be honest, that abrupt shift is what I wanted. It's intended to give the reader the same type of "whoa what the fuck is going on" reaction that the character is facing. And to be fair, I held it off until over fourty pages into my story.

I gave you a warning when I started the story, that it was eventually going to go dark, which was more than Adam would have known, but I didn't want readers to be overly prepared for it, and there was no good way to slowly introduce linoge, as my characters spend the vast majority of their time at home. It would have been too obvious to them if they saw some guy lurking around their house.

However in somewhat keeping with the overall tone of the story, I've chosen to keep linoge's attitude when speaking to Adam very friendly, to the point that its maddening. He doesn't come off as cruel or violent, but instead as overall benevolent despite his intentions.

That being said, I understand your frustration, especially at this stage when not enough has been written to justify or clarify the shift, and I hope that will change as the story continues, and you will cone to realize why I chose to take the story in this direction.

Also, I have no intention to try to replace anonympc. I would love to someday have my name fit into a sentence beside his, but that's as much as I can hope for.


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Anonymous 14/11/02(Sun)22:07 No. 22711 ID: f14472

>>22710

>It's intended to give the reader the same type of "whoa what the fuck is going on" reaction that the character is facing.

Except their reaction won't be that that but rather "what the fuck am I reading?" One of the Teletubbies pulling out a gun and shooting another would be a shocking twist but it would not be good plotting. You can have a "whoa what the fuck is going on" moment without jarringly shifting the story's tone, if you're careful.

>And to be fair, I held it off until over fourty pages into my story.

This type of tone shift is worse the later it occurs in a story.

>However in somewhat keeping with the overall tone of the story, I've chosen to keep linoge's attitude when speaking to Adam very friendly, to the point that its maddening. He doesn't come off as cruel or violent, but instead as overall benevolent despite his intentions.

Being friendly is not the same as being benevolent, and the polite villain is an established archetype. He does not fit into the story as it stands.


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Soli 14/11/02(Sun)23:25 No. 22714 ID: cd8c01

I'm not sure how well read you are, but a jarring shift it the story's tone is a common literary technique, utilized by many prolific authors.(just read a little Stephen King and you'll see it a lot) that jarring shift is that I wanted. May I ask how you feel it should have been done to meet your discerning tastes?

The "benevolence" I mentioned hasn't yet really come into play, and if you wait, you will see exactly how he fits into the story.

I'm sorry if I'm not gearing everything to your own tastes, but this is what I want for my story, and the way the characters play their roles in my mind. Could it be better? Yes of course, but don't be so quick to judge when you don't yet know where I'm going.


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Anonymous 14/11/03(Mon)00:23 No. 22716 ID: 9ebd32

>>22714

>I'm not sure how well read you are, but a jarring shift it the story's tone is a common literary technique, utilized by many prolific authors.(just read a little Stephen King and you'll see it a lot) that jarring shift is that I wanted. May I ask how you feel it should have been done to meet your discerning tastes?

That's the key phrase: prolific authors. You are not a prolific author. A tool that solves problems in the hands of an expert creates them in the hands of an amateur.

It's a trope but I'd hardly argue that it's a common trope or that you'd want it to be one. Imagine if you could never know what kind of media you'd be watching based on the cover/trailer/first ten minutes. Imagine if horror films suddenly turned into musicals or science fiction. Imagine if cookbooks suddenly became poetry collections. It'd get pretty annoying after a while, wouldn't it?

That's why it's reserved for prolific creator, because they know all of the right subtleties to make it work. I don't think you're up to that standard yet.

Plus you're writing erotic literature. Your goal is to entertain and arouse, not confuse or shock. You've failed to keep your audience in mind.


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Soli 14/11/03(Mon)00:50 No. 22718 ID: cd8c01

You might have a point, if it weren't for that fact that I told you where this story was going from the very beginning. It was always going to turn dark, and I even hinted that the shift would be rapid and unexpected. What were you expecting? I told you the plot twist before the story even got started.


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Anonymous 14/11/03(Mon)01:56 No. 22723 ID: 9fe421

>>22718

The first two lines of the story are reasonably vague enough that the context of them could be anything, and your opening post says no such thing about the story turning dark (maybe you posted this story before)?

Even still it doesn't change the fundamental criticism. If I make a movie that has a message displayed before it saying "This film will feature incredibly violent and graphic content." and then show people 40 minutes of lighthearted comedy before suddenly transitioning into the characters slaughtering each other, people would still not like it. Bluntly informing the audience of what is going to happen is a lazy plot device anyway and thus not a defense.


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Soli 14/11/03(Mon)03:11 No. 22725 ID: cd8c01

Please explain how including the death threat in the opening lines is vague, or doesn't tell you that my story will eventually contain said death threat?

The story up to this point has been about introducing characters, setting up their interactions, and the way they feel towards one another.

If I dove into the dark part of my story sooner, no one would give two shits about the characters, and the whole story would have just been dark.

The point that has been made to you is you're not offering helpful criticism. You're just shitting on my story and uncle+rick's without offering any sort of suggestion.

Imagine it like this. You're coaching kids at t-ball. One of them puts his glove on the wrong hand. And here you are saying "wow you're an idiot, that's all wrong." But you dont tell him how he could do it better. You're just not offering anything helpful.


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Uninvited/Uncle+Rick 14/11/03(Mon)03:33 No. 22726 ID: a887c0

>>22725

He was in my thread too. Kinda sad, ain't he? I haven't read your story, so I couldn't comment as to the quality one way or the other, but it's kindof hilarious that literally the only objective criticism he's offered for your story is that the twist was too sudden when it was foreshadowed from the first fucking sentence of the story.

>Imagine it like this. You're coaching kids at t-ball. One of them puts his glove on the wrong hand. And here you are saying "wow you're an idiot, that's all wrong." But you dont tell him how he could do it better. You're just not offering anything helpful.

Hey, >>22723 You keep talking about criticism, well this is how it's done. Soli identified the problem with your posts, and constructed an accurate analogy that even someone as special as you can easily grasp.

Go away, boy, you add nothing of value.


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Soli 14/11/03(Mon)03:55 No. 22727 ID: cd8c01

Yeh I saw that, I have read your story, and found it pretty intriguing. I offered my only criticism, which was to draw your attention to her name changing and a few typos.

Stuff like that I dont mind at all. Even if he had said, "well your plot twist was too sudden, and you should have had linoge come in earlier. maybe he could have pretended to be a girl and got Adam to admit to his desire for Eve, because "she" thought it was hot, and pressured him into doing things with her before finally revealing himself." I'd have been cool with that, as it would have been a valid suggestion on how my story could have played out.

But his criticisms just make him sound like a republican, saying everything is shit, but never how to fix it.


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The+Other+Rick 14/11/03(Mon)14:48 No. 22730 ID: d41ba5

Soli, I like you more and more. As far as criticism goes, all I see are a few writing errors here and there, but this is in no way "unreadable". I found it actually quite compelling when the twist happened, but I think not adding that first sentance at all would have made the read a LOT more jarring. By the way, naked cuddles are the best thing the whole world over, so thank you for incorporating them into the story! Ignore the troll, and proceed with the story telling please.


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Anonymous 14/11/03(Mon)16:34 No. 22732 ID: 86e5d5

>>22725

The first line could have been a joke, a character's internal monologue, anything in the context of any event. Since you're so fond of misdirection you should understand that it's hardly guaranteed to be serious. And the idea that the line perfectly implies electric death chips being implanted during surgery is pretty ridiculous. It is a silly plot point, regardless of how much you think seven words brilliantly foreshadowed it.

>The point that has been made to you is you're not offering helpful criticism. You're just shitting on my story and uncle+rick's without offering any sort of suggestion.

I am not shitting on either one and have offered both positive and negative comment. It is not my fault that you are both unable to accept criticism. You don't seem to be aware that every good writer on this site has sustained far worse criticism (both justified and unjustified) and take it as a personal insult. You will never improve with such an attitude but it's your choice.


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Soli 14/11/03(Mon)22:09 No. 22733 ID: cd8c01

Hey guys, here's the new chapter. Hope you all enjoy it. Except that one anon of course, who will I'm sure consider it total trash.


I wasn't able to sleep much more that night. Whenever I tried to close my eyes, the images of the dream would flood back. My tiredness did occasionally overtake me, but new nightmares would play themselves out in those brief periods, and I never managed more than about fifteen minutes at a stretch.

Eventually I resigned myself to lying there awake. I watched Eve sleeping peacefully on my chest, and ran my fingers through her slightly frizzy yet surprisingly tangle free hair. She was so beautiful lying there, and I hoped her dreams were more pleasant than mine.

The next day passed in a foggy half awake blur, and I remember little of it. I barely left my bed most of the day, and Eve stayed by my side most of the time, her laptop set up in front of us with an anime playing that I think may have been Elfen Lied. If she knew something was wrong she never mentioned it. I was happy of the company at least.

That night exhaustion, and Eve's warm bare flesh against me, took me off into a deep dreamless sleep. She always had a way of making everything feel better.

The next day was Friday. Mom's recent raise and promotion, meant that she could finally afford to take weekends off, and she insisted on taking us out to dinner that night. We hadn't been out of the house since Eve's surgery and we all needed to have a bit of fun.

Dinner became dinner and a movie, which Eve had won the right to pick through a game of rock, paper, scissors. She grinned broadly at her victory, and in true loving daughter fashion, decided tormenting our dear sweet mother who so generously provided for us was in order.

Her pick turned out to be one of the most genuinely frightening horror movies I have ever seen. Mom jumped and screamed constantly throughout the movie, which drove Eve into a maddening fit of the giggles every time, and also did a great job of really pissing off several of our fellow movie-goers.

It really was a great night, and for those few hours I completely forgot everything going on. Who knew a family outing was all I really needed? Everything seemed to be looking up.

It was only after mom dropped us off at home, and ran out again after remembering that she needed to pick up a couple things from fuckbagmart for work, that reality crashed down on me again.

I felt the familiar buzz of my phone vibrating in my pocket, and nonchalantly pulled it out. I knew what was coming as soon as I flicked on the screen. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. It was him. Linoge was back.

"Hey there buddy! ;)"

Fuck him and the friendly fucking horse he rode in on. I hoped it would fuck him up the ass until he died. Another text.

"It's time for our little game to start. Are you ready?"

"What the fuck do you want?" Yeah I was a little pissed he ruined my night.

"Calm down buddy. Nothing much. How are you? How's the family?" Okay seriously, if I ever found him, I would gouge out his god damn eyeball and skull fuck him to death with a smile on my face.

"Why don't you come over and we can talk about it." A not so veiled threat. It felt good.
"Haha maybe next time. For now, be a good boy and go into Mommy's room. In the second drawer you'll find a little baggy of pills. Take one, grab the mortar and pestle off the windowsill in the kitchen. And take them into the bathroom."

What the fuck? What was he trying to get me to do? What the fuck kind of pills did my mom have in her drawer? Whatever it was, I guess one couldn't really hurt. Well unless it was Ecstasy or rufies, but I didn't really see my mom as a raver or Zach Galifianakis.

"Hurry before mommy comes home!". Fuck you dude. Fuck you. I hope you get asshole herpes.

I did as he asked and quickly ducked into moms room. In her nightstand, right where he said it would be was a small bag of unassuming white pills. They didn't look dangerous, but pills never do. I quickly took one and replaced the bag where I found it. Moving quickly and doing my best to act normal, I made my way into the kitchen, found the mortar and pestle, and quickly ducked into the bathroom.

Almost as soon as the door was shut, I received another text.

"Good job, bud! Now, grind the pill with the mortar and pestle, and then empty it into one of the spare medicine cups in the medicine cabinet. Once that's done, go back to the kitchen and make a couple smoothies. :)"

This guy knew way too much about us. How could he have possibly known we keep spare medicine cups in the cabinet? How could he have known my mom had a bag of pills? Still I didn't have much choice. He had proved he could hurt Eve whenever he wanted. I couldn't let that happen.

I slowly ground up the pill into a powder, and then emptied the mortar into a medicine cup. I thought I knew where this was going, and it terrified me. He wanted me to drug Eve, but with what? Still, drugged beat dead, so I stashed the mortar and pestle, flushed and left the bathroom, cradling the cup in my hand so Eve wouldn't see it.

I passed Eve as I made my way back to the kitchen. She was sitting in the floor in front of our games and waved a copy of Borderlands 2 at me as I passed.

"Yeah, sure. Just uh…. Give me a few minutes."

She shrugged and went back to getting the game started. Fuck. What was I about to do? I started looking through the kitchen for fresh fruit. Bananas, nope gross. Oranges, not for a smoothie.

I opened the fridge and found what I was looking for. Mom had bought some pre-sliced fruit. Mangoes, strawberries, oh and a can of pineapple juice. Why not. If I was about to drug my sister, at least it should taste good, right?

I pulled out the blender, threw in the fruit and juice, and then topped it off with ice, because yogurt is disgusting. Don't eat that shit. Just don't. I flipped on the blender, and Eve turned to look. "Smoothies? Nice."

I pulled out two large glasses, and then two straws. Once everything was sufficiently pulverized I opened the blender and got ready to pour them in the glasses when my phone buzzed.

"Don't forget Eve's special ingredient."

Fuck. You. Grudgingly I emptied the medicine cup into Eve's glass, and then filled both with smoothie. I used her straw to swirl it around, mixing the crushed pill in with the fruity drink. I picked up both drinks, and briefly considered "accidentally" dropping them, or sneakily switching them and drinking the tainted smoothie myself. If only I knew when and where he could see.

I resigned myself to getting it over with, and hopefully figuring out how to fight back later. Surely he wouldn't have me hurt Eve right off the bat. Hopefully he wouldn't ever. So I made my way into the living room, handed her her drink and took up the other controller. And we played.

It wasn't too long before I found out exactly what I had given Eve. About an hour after finishing her drink she started getting tired. It was only eleven, and way too early for her to normally be so drowsy. She played on for maybe another twenty minutes before finally calling it quits, and staggering off to her own room since we couldn't sleep together with mom home.

Speaking of mom, she had come home, promptly announced she was going to catch up on some much needed sleep, kissed us both sloppily on the foreheads, and went off to bed. Now I was left alone.

I spent the next fifteen minutes or so just staring at the screen, not really seeing it. I couldn't understand the point of drugging her. I prayed no one intended to sneak in and fuck her in her sleep in the middle of the night. Being responsible for my sister's rape wasn't something I felt I could live with. How had things gone so crazy?

As I sat there, dark scenarios running through my mind, my phone buzzed at me. I had been waiting for it. Waiting to see what came next. I clicked on the screen and opened the text.

"Eve's asleep. Time for the fun part :)"

"Just tell me what you want. I won't hurt her. And I won't let you either."

"Oh Adam, no one wants to hurt little Evie. Or you for that matter. On the contrary I'm here to help, I'm my own way of course."

"Yeh, whatever. What do I do?" My heart pounded, terrified but somehow strangely excited as well. I didn't know what was coming.

"I thought the sleeping pill-" So I was right, it was a sleeping pill. "would make things easier for your first encounter. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is simply to give Eve a little wet dream."

"You want me to make her cum in her sleep? What if she woke up?"

"I guess you'll just have to be very careful, and hope she doesn't. Who knows, maybe she wouldn't mind anyway. Oh, and if you feel the need for relief yourself, her mouth would be a perfect place to make a deposit."

This was ridiculous. I was supposed to go into my sister's room, and make her cum. Could girls even cum in their sleep? I didn't know. I hated the idea of touching her without her permission, but not as much as I hated the idea of someone else doing it, or of her being hurt.

I seemed not to have a choice, and moments later I found myself outside her bedroom door. It was slightly ajar, and the only light inside was cast by her alarm clock. It creaked slightly as I pushed it open, and I froze, fearing she would wake. No sound but her slow and steady breathing.

I crept inside, fearing the mess that usually littered her floor. It seemed as if she had cleaned however, and I encountered no obstacles on my way to her bed.

As my eyes adjusted to the dim light of her room, I could start to make out her form. It looked as if she had fallen asleep in the middle of changing for bed. She wore a T-shirt, which was inside out judging by the tag sticking off the collar, and a fresh pair of panties hung around one knee.

This meant that her bottom half was bare, and I could feel excitement growing in my pants as I looked over her half naked body. She was lying on her side, the light of the clock washing over her bare ass accentuating its perfect curves and casting deep shadows in between.

Slowly, I reached out, tentatively placing the tips on my fingers on her bare hip. I watched and listened for any sign she might be about to wake, but there were none. Just the slow rhythmic sound of her breathing. My palm laid flat against her flesh, I ran it down her thigh, and back up to cup her pert ass, and gave a slight squeeze. Still she didn't stir.

I had seen her naked before, touched her even, but never this way. My nerves got the better of my and I began to shake uncontrollably. My teeth chattered in my mouth, with a sound that, to me at least, was reminiscent of a jackhammer. Still Eve slept peacefully.

Even when my fingers slid between her crack, and down across her puffy lips, she gave no reaction. I suddenly understood all the guys I had seen online, posting pictures and stories about things they had done with girls sleeping in their homes. The fear of being caught, mixed with the total control, was intoxicating.

I circled around the bed and sat down beside her. Her breathing caught momentarily as I gently placed my hands on her again, and rolled her onto her back, and then returned to its slow easy rhythm. Her legs fell open, spreading her wide before me, and my pulse quickened as the light dimly illuminated her.

My fingers fell upon the taught skin at the bottom of their stomach. Up and up they drifted, beneath her loose T-shirt, across the soft mounds of her breasts, stopping momentarily to toy with her nipples which hardened at their touch. Then back down again, ever so softly, ever so slowly. They were no longer my fingers, but had taken on a life of their own, going and doing as they pleased.

They danced around the dip of her belly button, and climbed her hip bones like a mountain, before diving into the called of her waist. Still lower they went, across her soft mound, and through the small tuft of hair at the top of her cleft. Finally they found their destination.

Her lips were soft and hairless, and my fingers brushed over them with ease. I must have spent several minutes just running my fingertips up and down those puffy youthful lips. Finally my tallest, and most daring of fingers found the moistened entrance to her cave of wonders. It slipped between and moved up and down the length of her pussy, stopping momentarily at the hard little bump of her clot, and again to peek ever so slightly into her depths.

It was at this point that I realized my dick was out and in my other hand. I didn't remember pulling it out, but there it was, ready and willing to do whatever was asked of it.

Images flashed through my mind. I could fuck her, she would never know. Would she really mind anyway? No. That's wrong. I can't. But she's so wet and perfect.

During my little internal war, my finger had continued its own work, paying no heed to me or my dick. It had quickened its pace, rubbing small circles around her hard clit. I couldn't imagine how she could still be sleeping, but other than a quickening in her breath, there was no sign that she might wake.

Her pussy was soaking wet, so ready for whatever may come. Still I couldn't allow myself to give in. I would not fuck her in her sleep. I just wouldn't.

Still I found myself on my knees over her as my instincts took over. My cock pointed menacingly towards her face as both hands worked feverishly as if racing to see which would cause an orgasm first. Eve's body began to quiver, and I felt my own loins begin to tighten. It was going to be a photo finish ladies and gentlemen.

Eve let out a slight moan as her organs took her first. Her hips rose and fell as as she came, and my cock pulsed spewing a load into her open mouth. She swallowed by reflex, causing a spurt to land and splatted all over her lips. Still she didn't wake.

Her breathing began to slow again, soft moans of pleasure occasionally coming between breaths. Shame overtook me as my own orgasm passed. What had I done. How could I do that to her? I quickly wiped the cum from her lips, threw a blanket over her and retreated to my room.

I didn't have a choice. I had to do it, but that didn't make me feel any better. I had violated not only her body, but her trust. What was worse, I had enjoyed it. My phone buzzed as I collapsed onto my bed.

"Well done, Adam. You and I are going to get along just fine."


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Anonymous 14/11/04(Tue)03:54 No. 22738 ID: 7d5e1e

>story started out great
>took a strange turn, but whatever, I can fap to anything
>everyone argues instead of letting the author write more

My critique: Story needs more realism, hence Adam must become more proactive. He must start looking for cameras, find a way to get his sister an x-ray, find out about the static electricity thing, watch his sister's reaction when he tells her, start suspecting the other girl and so on.


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Anonymous 14/11/04(Tue)04:29 No. 22739 ID: 1de00e

bretty good

but is it just me or is it pretty obvious that
>Fuck him and the friendly fucking horse he rode in on. I hoped it would fuck him up the ass until he died. Another text.

the 'him' is actually a 'her'? and the twist that's going to come is, in the best way I could put it to minimize the spoiliness, like the one in MPC? Just the detail in which the blackmailer is familiar with him and shit gives it away to me. Foreshadowing is spread a bit heavy.

Or I could be completely off and the blackmailer could be someone else.

but anyway, it's still good.


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Shadow 14/11/04(Tue)07:55 No. 22740 ID: 3756c5

Came, read updates, ignored arguing. It's a dramatic shift in tone to be sure, and the blackmailer's attempt to be friendly does help ease it a little. However, it would be more effective if Adam's dreams and his wishes of violence weren't so graphic. But that's just, like, my opinion, man.

The shift feels easier in the latest update. Curious to see where it goes. Please, keep writing.


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Soli 14/11/04(Tue)09:36 No. 22741 ID: cd8c01

>>22738
The problem is, finding a way to try to catch/stop linige without tipping him off. If Adam did that sort of thing, and linoge was really watching them, he could potentially kill eve at any time.

So Adams dilemma is now, how to stop him without further endangering eve. Worry not I will be getting into that territory soon enough.


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Soli 14/11/04(Tue)09:39 No. 22742 ID: cd8c01

>>22740
The dreams have been sort of an expression of his fears. The first with the first woman represented his desire for eve that he was trying to suppress, and the fear that it would destroy him if he gave in. The other was his fear of what he might have to do to protect her. He doesnt yet know what exactly linoge wants, or what he will be forced to do, and that fear is playing itself out through his dreams.


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Anonymous 14/11/08(Sat)00:26 No. 22756 ID: 036a9b

ready for the next installment sir


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Anonymous 14/11/12(Wed)09:06 No. 22787 ID: 4a8be9

>>22742
As an already prolific author, I can see a myriad of mistakes you don't even realize you're making.

The biggest two are that you're handing away the plot twist by assuming your readers aren't clever enough to take less subtle hints. Seriously we get it, the sisters got the hots for him and wants him to get over that brother barrier or w/e.

The second is that
Your characters don't act real and there's no emotional development between them.

It entirely feels as if you're copying an anonympc style story and missing all of the details. The protagonist just seems to be going through the motions of life.


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Soli 14/11/12(Wed)22:02 No. 22788 ID: 561449

I admit character building and interaction isn't my strong suit. I'll give you that.

As far as my plot twist, You could be right after, this could be Erin and Andrew in reverse. Maybe you have me all figured out. Then again, maybe you have no idea what you're talking about. Keep reading and I guess we'll all find out.


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Anonymous 14/11/13(Thu)06:33 No. 22790 ID: b34114

I'd rather reread MPC again than read this garbage. >>22787 has it right. Poor MPC ripoff


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IonIan 14/11/13(Thu)07:21 No. 22792 ID: 036a9b

Someone has really poor reading comprehension skills. The perpetrator is not Eve. Unless, of course, Eve has a fetish for being drugged, a really strange sense of humor, a penchant for acting, and a special ability to text in her sleep (and/or an immunity to sleeping pills). If, however, this is the case, then I concede, and the trolls can eat their hearts out. Whatever. I suggest we just wait and actually read the story. Soli, this is very good stuff. Please keep it coming.


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Anonymous 14/11/14(Fri)02:19 No. 22794 ID: 1de00e

>>22792
The pills could have been fake and she just pretended to be asleep, and she might have predicted what Adam would do and scheduled a text to be sent to him or something.

But then again, I could be wrong.


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Soli 14/11/14(Fri)05:54 No. 22796 ID: cd8c01

Thanks Ionlan. Its always nice to see appreciation.

>>22794

Anon, you could certainly be right. Since I know most of you guys have read MPC, I assumed that most would see Eve as the prime suspect. I certainly have dropped hints that she might be. At the same time, there is also a lot to suggest that she isn't, as Ionlan stated. My plan from the start has been to leave it open for just about any of my characters to potentially turn out to be Linoge, and I've considered potential story lines for each of those possibilities, before deciding who the culprit should be.

So, to my critics I say, kudos, yes it is Eve, but at this point, it's also every other character and none of them. Until I reveal my choice, everyone is potentially Linoge.


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anon 14/11/16(Sun)06:10 No. 22798 ID: 582b36

>>22796
I see it as the dad that you eluded to in the first of your story. It was his suggestion to move to a house from their small apartment, So ... easy enough for him to setup hidden security and take advantage of their three way.


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Anonymous 14/11/16(Sun)19:39 No. 22800 ID: 036a9b

>>22798

ooh *alluded but I like that theory


>>
Anonymous 14/11/19(Wed)04:25 No. 22817 ID: 164576

Good stuff, need next chapter.

You should probably get someone to edit it for you as the spell checker is not finding things like organ instead of orgasm or taut instead of taught.


>>
Anonymous 14/11/19(Wed)04:26 No. 22818 ID: 164576

I assume at this point that the perpertrator is the mother.


>>
Soli 14/11/19(Wed)06:36 No. 22821 ID: cd8c01

Hahaha the mom. Well I guess that's possible.

I know I've got some errors. I've been sort of editing as I go, and I've noticed several errors I didn't catch. I do plan to do an overall edit once ive finished, and hopefully catch the majority. I did notice the replacement of orgasm with organ, but I'm not sure where you saw taut instead of taught. That may have been intentional, as in taut abs.

As for the story. I know it's taking awhile, but I'm still writing. I'm putting a lot more forethought into this part of the story, as it will be leading up to major events such as linoge's identity, and I don't want to screw it up by throwing something into a chapter without realizing it is going to damage my overall intent.


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Anonymous 14/11/19(Wed)06:46 No. 22822 ID: e894d5

I much preferred happy-go-lucky incest than the weird stuff. It's definitely a turn-off. That it's actually Eve is very much a relief.

Though, for a minute there I thought it might be Adam himself just going nuts. I don't think that would have gone in a direction I would have enjoyed.


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Anonymous 14/11/19(Wed)14:38 No. 22823 ID: a609fb

My theory is that it's actually Erin! Unauthorized crossover! :)

>>22821
He had them backwards, you put taught instead of taut ('taught skin')


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Anonymous 14/11/19(Wed)17:36 No. 22824 ID: 6751a7

>>22823

Ugh, don't remind me about how absent AnonyMPC has been.


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Anonymous 14/11/20(Thu)01:06 No. 22827 ID: f5b1c2

>>22822
>That it's actually Eve is very much a relief.
Read >>22796 properly;
>but at this point, it's also every other character and none of them. Until I reveal my choice, everyone is potentially Linoge.


>>
Anonymous 14/11/20(Thu)01:13 No. 22828 ID: c8aa7a

>>22824
AnonyMPC wrote a new story only a few months ago https://7chan.org/elit/res/22139.html


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