/fag/ - Men Discussion

12/12/21(Fri)09:24 No. 97237

File 135607826658.jpg - (11.97KB , 300x300 , blur.jpg )

So i'm 19, i've been dating my boyfriend for about 3 years now, first boyfriend i've ever had (and lost my virginity to) so I went through that whole "he is my life" phase. I love him (I guess), i'm not all that happy with him, we don't fight or abuse eachother or anything, we very rarely have sex anymore. I think i'm a million times better than he is, I think he's dumb and not very attractive and has bad social skills. I also lie to him a lot about everything, I dislike his lack of manners. He's really lazy and childish.

Basically I just think i'm over him, over being in a relationship. For pretty much the entire duration i've wished I could be single and party and stupid stuff. We've been through a lot together (I came out of the closet with his help) and now he lives with me and my mother and we both work. He drives cause I can't so he takes me to work every day. He loves me a lot and he does so much for me, and I don't know if I can really justify breaking up with him, cause it would ruin his whole life.

But what do I do? Do I remain unhappy on the chance that one day something will click and i'll stop being a selfish asshole or do I break up with him and ruin his life on the chance that one day i'll find something better? How can I justify hurting someone that much for myself? I know you're all gonna roll your eyes at this /fag/, but i'm really just lost. I need a hand and someone to tell me what to do. I'm scared of losing what is most likely the best thing that's ever going to happen to me. Fuck.

CandleJack 12/12/23(Sun)06:48 No. 97257

You're young. Most people change radically as they enter adulthood, and you are no different. What both of you wanted as late teenagers is not what you want as young adults. On one hand, it's understandable that you want someone that fits you better.

But on the other hand, you're coming off as a bit superficial. You mentioned that he has bad manners and isn't very smart and is unattractive. None of that matters in a relationship, and most of it can be changed if he works on it. You love each other, support each other, and hopefully have some kind of commonality. Tell me if I'm wrong on that last one.

The bottom line is, how happy are you? Are you happy being in a relationship with this guy, or would you be happier single? If you're afraid to be alone, then perhaps you aren't ready to be single.

A quick note. One, the reason you aren't having any sex is probably because you live with your mother. If you got your own place, then you would have a lot more freedom and ability to be close. Also, one question. Can he support himself on his own? Since he lives with YOUR mother, breaking up means kicking him out. I hope you aren't considering putting him out on the street.

So if you want my honest advice, I'd say first stop lying. Have a long conversation with him about what you don't like. He can develop social skills and intelligence, just fine; but if he doesn't want to change, then it's not a good relationship for you both. Just keep the peace until both of you have enough money to live on your own.

12/12/23(Sun)11:03 No. 97258

holy shit I fucking love Blur

12/12/25(Tue)04:14 No. 97264

>>97257
>he has bad manners and isn't very smart and is unattractive
>None of that matters in a relationship

lol go kill yourself now

12/12/25(Tue)12:53 No. 97265

Dump him, you're doing more harm than good by stringing him along.

jealousy 12/12/25(Tue)13:49 No. 97267

hey bro, you need a "perfect excuse". you need a beautiful and sexy boy, TO HIM... u know.
You will be a jealousy fag :)

N7 12/12/29(Sat)07:50 No. 97297

Let him down nice and smooth.

Don't string him along. Secrets always find themselves out anyways. He won't like that you regret being with him. But he'll be more angry if, if/when he tries to elevate the relationship and you decline (of course he'll ask why, and you say you wanted to break up since like day 2, etc etc. (and you can only BS for so long)

Sounds like a good guy to keep as a friend afterwards though. If he really loves you or whatever, he will be sad, but let you go. (at least Hollywood has that right) If not, then perhaps he isn't right for you anyways.

If nothing's clicked in 3 years, It's doubtful to happen "all of a sudden."

Don't settle when there's a potential to find a better one out there.

13/01/11(Fri)00:56 No. 97379

>>97297
Best reply ITT. In the long run, you are hurting both him and yourself by staying in this position. Just thought I'd reiterate that.

As for >>97257
I thijnk this is being a little too optimistic. Yeah, you *might* become closer in time, he *might* become more socially outgoing, more physcially attractive, more intelligent... but that sorta thing will never change *much*, not at this stage of life. Besides, even if it did, he'd be turning into someone else, someone who he quite probably doesn't want to be.

Contrary to what CJ said, I think they are HUGE factors in determining where a relationship can go (I'd let the manners one slide though :P ). So, it's a bad situation. BUT... he's right about taking it slow and steady. Don't push things too fast. It'll be hard on you, as well him, to do that.

Lastly though, this is not true at all, and really quite silly:

>If you're afraid to be alone, then perhaps you aren't ready to be single.

Even though it probably doesn't apply as it doesn't sound like you're afraid to be single, I would never recommend anyone follow this advice. That's a recipe for a dependency disaster.

13/01/26(Sat)17:14 No. 97444

>>97237
19 is still very young. the brain isn't fully developed until 25 so people shouldn't commit to life long relationships until then.

13/02/18(Mon)23:14 No. 97596

File 136122565693.gif - (1.19MB , 260x156 , (S)he's not that bad.gif )

You're talking like your bf is Hitler, OP. Liven up. If it isn't working then talk to him. Geese.

13/03/13(Wed)16:52 No. 97724

>>97444
get a load of this 100% genius psychology guys

Womfish 13/03/22(Fri)15:46 No. 97745

I'm not saying leave him but if you do don't do it because you think it won't work out do it because you put your all into it and you know that it won't get any better.

13/04/25(Thu)02:24 No. 97850

>>97237

Do you have narcissistic personality disorder?

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