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/grim/ - Cold, Grim & Miserable As always ideas for rules, anonymous names and better headers are always welcome, post them in the main sticky and we'll consider them.
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Despair TrueDespair 16/07/17(Sun)13:59 No. 4970 ID: a3595d [Reply]
4970

File 146875678053.jpg - (58.05KB , 1280x720 , DESPAIR.jpg )

Am I the only one who's just in a constant state of despair? I always feel so empty inside, and it's been this way for years. I enjoy almost nothing, and what I do enjoy is what most people would call "sick and twisted". Things like extremely violent thoughts, anything that could hurt me or someone else pretty much. I can't help it, no matter how much I try to think different, try to be positive or happy, I just go straight back to these violent and depressing thoughts. Maybe it's because I know my life isn't going anywhere, and I know I'm not going to make it far at all. Oh well, nothing to do but embrace it, right?


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Eeyore 16/07/30(Sat)00:20 No. 4979 ID: 9392a4

>>4970
same. let's be friends


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TrueDespair 16/08/03(Wed)09:41 No. 4984 ID: a3595d

>>4979

Thank you for your words. I somehow feel slightly better. At least, not quite as miserable as before. And also I've never had friends before, don't know what that's even like, heheh.


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candibalism 16/10/29(Sat)18:07 No. 5132 ID: 5785d5

Hhhhh , twisted things; what , for example ?




Eeyore 16/01/19(Tue)02:35 No. 4724 ID: 20134a [Reply]
4724

File 145316732074.png - (265.17KB , 500x805 , 1348196891226.png )

Mental illnes thread
i was diagnosed with MDD, doctor prescripted Seronil and going to a group therapy. So long, i'm one week on this drug and only thing i want to do is sleeping or killing myself.


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Eeyore 16/04/26(Tue)11:48 No. 4881 ID: 6e6299

>>4880
I JELLY YOU IF I HAD SUCH MENTAL ILLNESS I'D HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE FOR BEING LIKE THIS


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Eeyore 16/04/26(Tue)22:54 No. 4882 ID: c0579a

GID and MDD
with opiate addiction
been clean for almost a whole year but relapsed a week ago
now I am going through withdrawals the second time around

got fired from my job
and therapist essentially quit because me continually lying
also I broke down in class in front of everyone yesterday

but itd one of those things where it becomes too much but you are in almost shock because of how quickly everything can fall apart. its almost funny how everything can worse when you think you are already at the bottom.

Ive been on 13 different meds and 2 antipsychotics/mood stabilizer last year and they do exactly nothing


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Eeyore 16/10/22(Sat)15:56 No. 5122 ID: cbe71d

I got a childhood diagnosis as PDD-NOS but I believe that AvPD would be a more fitting diagnosis for today even though I'm not officially diagnosed as such.




Eeyore 16/10/17(Mon)01:18 No. 5115 ID: 0478a4 [Reply]
5115

File 147665991468.png - (1.27KB , 60x60 , jiojioj.png )

On the surface, everything looks normal to anyone who can live one day in this world and go to sleep thinking that everything was fine because there were no disputes or arguments, because they saw smiles, and because it was like every other day they had experienced before. It’s an illusion so powerful that it has become a reality for them, for they have sacrificed their own will for the appearance of being normal, and, consequently, the acceptance of others. A survival tactic that has one living this way doesn’t become a problem on others until they abuse the very reason that language was created in the first place. Examining the simplest sentences or clauses English can offer, such as “I am.” or “This is good.” or, in more social and contemporarily relatable terms, “Oh my god, Jessica said that Jenny slept with David.”, you can see that language was created to affirm truths among a group by the use of words, such as “are”, “is”, or “said”, that attribute qualities or occurrences to entities that exist, have existed, or will exist. What does it mean to abuse a language? In the case of a society that will do anything to be accepted, even by distorting their perception of reality to one that believes everything is normal, to abuse a language is to lie by intentionally distorting truth to gain public favour and paint a false image of how you want others to see you. One that conducts such abuse is not only inadequate for language, but also for the society that keeps them afloat. Can one blame anyone who is not even aware that they themselves are lying? If an example is necessary, look no further than the social façades people use as appearances and media of commonality. It is so common to lie and say that their front is actually them that most people believe another’s vocal heave to cliché humour to be a genuine laugh, despite exhibiting that same sound effect themselves to others. When you have a vast group of people who eat precisely at noon rather than when they feel hungry, by using the word “society”, you’re really referring to a group of people who have completely lost any sense of self, and who have to have it decided for them. It is no surprise then why an obnoxious, vocally boisterous woman’s colleagues ask her for the truth of what happened in a workplace dispute involving her as though they are expecting the unexaggerated, unembellished truth that doesn’t necessarily paint her in a good colour. It’s fitting because these are the same people who excuse her deceit of faking a longterm injury to fruit from the corporate financial benefits of being “injured” for a good personality. The only people who can excuse such behaviour are the ones who are equally as guilty for other offences against truth; that is to say, all active members of society. Especially with all the "smiles" on faces, it’s ironic that they would be the last to think that they may be the cause of all human misery on Message too long. Click here to view the full text.




Eeyore 16/06/30(Thu)08:40 No. 4952 ID: 759123 [Reply]
4952

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Who here has ever done self harm? Why did you do it?

I was in an extremely bad place in my life. Not quiet suicidal, but close to it. I don't even understand to this day to be honest. I went through much, and I guess I wanted those negative experiences to be physically felt instead of just crying. I've only done it twice, and the latest one nearly killed me.


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Eeyore 16/10/05(Wed)15:33 No. 5099 ID: 858dc5

when ever I get a bug bite or a blemish I get a knife and try to cut it off. When I start to bleed I squeeze out more. I like to watch the blood pool up, I like the pressure of the knife on my skin, I like removing wrongs on my body. I never do it over large areas.


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Eeyore 16/10/08(Sat)18:51 No. 5104 ID: 1fdc02
5104

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I cut my leg until it is completely covered. From my ankle to my hip. Until the entire lower side of my body stings really bad. Then i put rubbing alcohol on it or take an extremely hot shower. Its a way for me to dissociate from my negative internal screaming. I used to cover my arm too, but I stopped because people don't need to see that shit.


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Eeyore 16/10/11(Tue)09:06 No. 5107 ID: d78ba2
5107

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I did it for a brief stint. It was mostly because I was suicidal and trying to find ways to get my self-loathing out without killing myself, because people want me alive for the time being. Now that I've recovered somewhat, I mostly just cut myself for sexual purposes.




Eeyore 16/10/08(Sat)02:13 No. 5100 ID: 1fdc02 [Reply]
5100

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My sexual up bringing was not ideal. It was very confusing. There was not a day where I couldn’t hear porn basting from the master bedroom. Some of my first childhood memories are of standing in my parents bedroom doorway seeing gay porn on the CRT television. While she lays there, openly masturbating, even with knowledge of her youngest daughter standing in the doorway, confused. I saw it more as degrading than pleasurable for the people involved, including her.
Was she like this before my sister and I were born?
My moms behaviors made my dad very angry. He took it out on the animals, and sometimes me and my sister. He yelled a lot and lost his temper over little things. You could tell he was stressed the fuck out. For some reason, they tried to make it work for at least 14 years. When my mom came to my room and told me that dad was leaving, I just said “okay” and went to bed. I never cried about it.


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Amethyst Eeyore 16/10/08(Sat)02:47 No. 5101 ID: a004ae
5101

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How did it impact your current sexual well being?

idk I just grew up with no real sexual experience aside from people talking about it and porn on tv.

25 and still a virgin hue


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Eeyore 16/10/08(Sat)18:37 No. 5103 ID: 1fdc02

>>5101
I am not a virgin. I lost it when i was 15. I did not want to, but I gave into the pressure. I still regret it. I can't open up sexually. Its not pleasurable for me, and I dont feel okay touching other people in sexual ways. I've been told I'm boring, and I dont act sexy enough. I always feel like I did something wrong and disgusting afterwards. Seeing porn grosses me out and still confuses me.
I've grown up with an extremely negative mindset with thoughts of suicide starting at an elementary school age, and conditioned by self hate. I've also had extreme attachment issues. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and severe depression and anxiety.
Fucked up people have fucked up children, I guess.




Eeyore 15/12/18(Fri)01:40 No. 4675 ID: 731392 [Reply]
4675

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I think im an unattachable soul. I never had ever felt true love with a female not even once in my life. Its fucking pathetic. I just continue to drown and repress my thoughts with drugs but when i come down all i could do is cry inside and reflect on how much of a fuckin failure that i am when it comes to women. How did i turnout to be such a fucking dial tone...as a kid i was intensely hyper, so why am i so low on confidence as an adult? I remember how i use to make friends every day,now i can barely even hold conversations with old friends i use to go to school with. What fucking happened?


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Eeyore 16/09/12(Mon)10:30 No. 5061 ID: 4c4042
5061

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>>5060
OP's a fag?!


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Eeyore 16/09/30(Fri)06:32 No. 5082 ID: 4e2f43

OP i'm tired so the info in my post is messy, but it covers pretty much all you mentioned. To me it's wise, but it might just as well sound stupid, i don't know, it's late. Enjoy.

Just accept yourself for now. The right girl will come, in the mean time fuck relationships and just have fun. If a girl gets clingy the next day, just be brutally honest: "I don't want to be in a relationship.I like you, and i respect you: that's why i don't want to deceive you by faking exaggerated feelings for you. Which is really just another way of saying commitment freaks me out, so please don't push it"

As for the rest, this is my advice for anything "psychological" in life: you brought yourself to this for a reason, listen to yourself and get yourself what you needed from this circumstances; Trust that you will change again, but stop fighting the phases of change. Didn't your inner child learn you shouldn't rush growing up?!
Or you now, there's always the easy way out, where you convince yourself you are gay, so that you can give a clear face to your inner demons and have a quick way to reinvent yourself the way you want to be.
(....i personally think all people have the potential to be bi, but then "unlock" their personalities in different ways)

Also, i know it's hard, but try to get the drugs under control. I'm not saying stop, i'm just saying don't do it every-single-day.


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Eeyore 16/10/04(Tue)07:36 No. 5094 ID: 966ec8

You think you're just an unattachable soup, eh? Ever think that maybe you are just a faggot? It's a simple thought, not very complex, so you may have the ability to conjure up your homoerotic fag fantasies. Did I mention that you are a faggot? Fag




Eeyore 16/08/31(Wed)23:27 No. 5021 ID: 5bde38 [Reply]
5021

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I find love and living with others disgusting but I still want it. I feel like I'll live all alone. Do any of you feel like that?


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Eeyore 16/09/10(Sat)10:21 No. 5057 ID: 6b7ffd

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IJsXUU-fGbg


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Eeyore 16/09/10(Sat)10:27 No. 5058 ID: 6b7ffd

Made me think a little bit more about how I would like to go.

Who do I want at my deathbed and how can I legally enforce it?


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Eeyore 16/09/26(Mon)09:06 No. 5075 ID: fdfdf0

>>5058
Fuck being on a deathbed, that's one thing I want to avoid. If I would have loved ones surrounding me, sure, I would love that. But I see myself dying of old age all alone. Can't think of a more depressing way to go out.




Eeyore 14/09/05(Fri)17:14 No. 3737 ID: 591d42 [Reply]
3737

File 140993008494.jpg - (56.63KB , 800x587 , theater-masks.jpg )

How do i hide with my facial expressions that i am sad or is in a state of anxiety?


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Eeyore 15/12/05(Sat)22:23 No. 4663 ID: 4363ea

>>4014
brute force.
try eating a lemon without changing your expression.
try lying to someone without changing your expression.
get to the mental state where your expression is not depending on what you feel.


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Eeyore 16/09/16(Fri)14:07 No. 5063 ID: cbe71d

Spies such as Katia Zatuliveter learn to meet everything with a straight face isn't there a declassified CIA manual somewhere?


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Eeyore 16/09/25(Sun)21:30 No. 5073 ID: 3e4a64

Eat only McDonalds for a week, then shit your pants in public. Proceed with the rest of your day acting as though it never happened. I propose to you a challenge, one that if completed, you shall have mastered the art of stillface.




im winke sayward Eeyore 16/09/12(Mon)10:47 No. 5062 ID: 4c4042 [Reply]
5062

File 147367002658.jpg - (3.58KB , 300x57 , im winkie.jpg )

Your parents are going to die.

Pic unrelated, my captcha: Im Winke Sayward


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Eeyore 16/09/16(Fri)17:34 No. 5064 ID: f1d3df

I'll die before that


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Eeyore 16/09/25(Sun)21:25 No. 5072 ID: 3e4a64

Your parents are going to die, huh? One question, OP: why did you post this on grim? That's a blessing


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Eeyore 16/10/02(Sun)20:02 No. 5089 ID: 3f9459

>>5072
mostly i wanted to post that captcha, so i thought of something /grim/ to post as an excuse. my life is empty like that. for many people the passing of their parents is an uncomfortable, if not sad, reminder of their own mortality.




Eeyore 16/08/31(Wed)23:39 No. 5022 ID: 04d754 [Reply]
5022

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Whatever happened to Kurt Cobain anyhow? Haven't seen him in a while.


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Vanonymouse!w.OxY3rAM6 16/09/01(Thu)03:43 No. 5025 ID: fcfe09

He did some heroin and was shot by someone hired by Courtney Love. Supposedly.


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Eeyore 16/09/01(Thu)06:50 No. 5027 ID: 3e2f5e

>>5022
>>5025
You realy never know with heroin addicts.


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Eeyore 16/09/06(Tue)10:55 No. 5043 ID: 966ec8

Kurt has been looking like shit lately, a real fucking zombie type if I have to say so myself. That junkie piece of shit is still shooting dope in Seattle. Seen him last week singing "Heart Shaped Rocks." That son of a bitch




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