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Eeyore 17/09/01(Fri)08:10 No. 5541 ID: e6b706
5541

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I'm a fat,acne-ridden, aspie fuck with trichotillomania. I have friends but they're all leaving my current school, which I transferred to because I'm too much of cuck to admit that I bullied my best friend from my old school. I excel in everything I do, but none of it makes me happy. I don't feel whole. I used to be a normal, pretty, gifted girl, but then I found the *chans. Now, my social life consists of being a servant to my friends. I want to be a normie again. I don't want to become a miserable heap of garbage in my parent's basement. Why did I become this? I want to remember myself.


>>
sage+it+up 17/09/01(Fri)09:32 No. 5542 ID: 0c2267

Tell us about your life before this transformation.
How did you feel?
Do you remember it accurately or do you think your memory is clouded by your current self-hate?

What exactly do you want to change?
If you could transform yourself and your life in any way, limited only by your imagination, what would you do? What would you change?

You have friends here, Eeyore. You can always talk to us.


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Eeyore 17/09/11(Mon)20:11 No. 5547 ID: 418d7a

We are all servants to ourselves before we serve others.
There is no need to go about remembering yourself as you used to be. You have feelings right now, otherwise you would have never have posted.
If you were to say them out loud, it will be painful, but it will be change.


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Eeyore 17/09/12(Tue)13:52 No. 5548 ID: 6e42c2
5548

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It sounds like you're uncomfortably aware of what's happening! I'd rather not speak about the more physical and social repurcussions of My Great Depression (middle school on, standard Major Depressive Package really. no complaints. I've got a mild version I'm sure and it should clear up any day now :D :D :D) picking away at my fingers and toes but that happened to me and I kept going even while feeling utter disgust with myself. it was like I needed proof my methods were flawed. I tried being super neutral and petitioning what I perceived to be larger intellectual bodies, or their representatives holding onto a corrupt fork of that sweet Truth. then I became convinced intellectualism was the poison which had brought me to viewing myself as a mote instead of a focal lens strapped into a meatcasket and begging for help from people I despised and looked down upon, and I settled for hating myself by myself

and you know what worked?
just kidding I'm here now I'm twenty and I have no plans. might be homeless soon. my mom is a low-wage sugarbaby for rent and my othergendered counterpart has taken to making up serial killer-esque stories about my childhood because I look like shit now.
I've decided I don't have free will like other people. I have selective control over things. some things I can VETO in my brain. I just say no and I stop, but if there's no framework there I have no options and just stop. otherwise I modulate the intensity of what I'm doing. how much punctuation I bother to use. whether I just rip my fucking hangnail off with my teeth even if it only takes off a few layers and slices into my skin or whether I just graze the underside of the nail with my teeth (I assume I have a very strong immune system at this point...)

as for how to stop smoking weed to the point where it gives you ephysema... well lemme say this. weed will help you on the weekends. it will drag you down the rest of the time. if you smoke more often than every 3 days you will permanently reduce the surface area of your lungs. sorry if that last paragraph was irrelevant to you. sorry if the whole post was, I'm awake and, uh, haven't eaten...


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Eeyore 17/09/20(Wed)14:00 No. 5552 ID: 1e22f7

>>5541
The person you used to be is gone; you will never get back there. Do not be discouraged by this truth, but liberated. Your friends are leaving; your social circle will inevitably collapse--make a new one. Go somewhere you never go, talk to people you don't usually talk to (or let them talk to you if approaching strangers causes too much anxiety).

You have nothing but opportunity in this cold, indifferent universe.


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Eeyore 17/11/04(Sat)22:02 No. 5609 ID: d24851

>>5541
Christ, you sound like a disturbed personality. Your story is egocentric, self-contradictory, and doesn't seem to have any specific order.

All you admitted to was being poisonous to others and that you want better things for yourself. Have you considered being less poisonous to others?



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