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Eeyore 18/02/16(Fri)05:53 No. 5712 ID: eec73f
5712

File 151875678126.jpg - (60.69KB , 800x600 , 8FC17193-EB05-4471-8A07-605E9DFFB22D.jpg )

How does it make you feel, when you’re lonely; and no one is there. The crippling loneliness of nothingness. Day after day, chipping away and toiling through vexations. The fear that takes control of you, feeling like a Slave. Doomed to this constant decay


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Eeyore 18/02/16(Fri)10:52 No. 5713 ID: 5f05c0

>>5712

It feels terrible. I wanted to create a new thread but I'll write my thoughts here as far as this thread matches my mood.

I started to refuse women not much time ago. It feels like there is an enormous abyss deep inside my soul. It is difficult to explain those feels. You know, I had all those so called "girlfriends" in my life, I have been to different strip clubs many times, I liked to hang out with my friends (or just random people whom I met in the street) while getting some prostitutes and fucking them at my messy home place later and smoking some weed.

Everything changed. I moved to another place and my lifestyle was left behind. It feels that my mind reached a certain point where it can't get back to those kinds of entertainment. I spend my days in a very calm and nice way: I read books, learn how to code and prepare to get accepted in the university again.

But there's something that radically changed. And it's not just about the lifestyle. It's about the perception of the reality. I don't feel like I want to have all that shit again, I miss only about one girl whom I loved (and probably whom I still love) and at the same time I don't want anyone to be close to me. And every single evening when I go to sleep, I dream not about having sex or crazy parties. I dream about love and being loved, just being hugged by her and not anyone else. Does anyone of you feel the same?

Sorry for the long post and my mistakes.


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Eeyore 18/02/16(Fri)19:31 No. 5714 ID: e87cf1

>>5713
I feel the same way. It seems I am filled with apathy and boredom waking up, as a never ending cycle. I feel there is still something I am missing, and that is which I can never find or never get. I feel nothingness now. In an abyss of nothing.


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Eeyore 18/02/26(Mon)02:04 No. 5721 ID: 0c8775

Honestly probably worse. I'm a fucking dumb loser and a late bloomer for the few things that I have accomplished. Information, inspiration, etc usually has to be spoonfed to me.


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Eeyore 18/04/05(Thu)08:21 No. 5751 ID: 401ae2

It feels like perpetually holding your breath while you're underwater. You're wondering when you're going to drown but it never happens. There's point A (full oxygen) and point B (depleted oxygen), you're constantly transitioning from point A to point B but you only walk half the distance each time. A year goes by and you're 50% there, another and you're 75% there, another and you're 87.5% there, etc. But you never reach point B, you only infinitely approach it until you're caught in a twilight zone where you don't remember what living actually was supposed to mean, but you're still alive anyway.


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Eeyore 18/04/11(Wed)07:24 No. 5760 ID: 2c04ab

It is the only thing that calms me down any more. I've felt empty for a long time but there are a great many people I still care about, I just don't trust the vast majority of them in any meaningful way. It used to make me feel terrible being alone like this but I've come to take comfort in it.



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