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/grim/ - Cold, Grim & Miserable As always ideas for rules, anonymous names and better headers are always welcome, post them in the main sticky and we'll consider them.
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Happiness MushroomMan 18/07/11(Wed)13:11 No. 5848 ID: 708d53

File 153130749242.png - (375.82KB , 720x1280 , Screenshot_20180707-011933.png )

Grim, remember how you once had a career goal? Let us know about how you destroyed your dream job. What shitty job do you work now?

Eeyore 18/07/13(Fri)08:13 No. 5850 ID: a6ede2

I used to want to study Maths at uni, then a masters in one of a bunch of crypto related courses. Career wise was never fully clear but I wanted to be involved in cryptography in some capacity.

That stuff is still my jam but it's all self taught and.. it means nothing without the degree(s) to back it up.

I initially took a 'gap year' which has turned into nearly 9 years now, (my place at uni is obviously no longer being held for me, you can't defer for that long) where I worked in shitty entry level office jobs for minimum wage and soon after manual assembly jobs because they paid more (but still not very well). I was pursuing gender transition for some fucked up reason, which is why working, and working towards that, took precedence over a career. I needed about £30k for surgery.

I'm only about 2/3rds of the way there, that money is locked away, I no longer need it for its initially intended purpose so it's just an emergency fund.

That's not a lot to have saved in nearly a decade, and that's because I started doing heroin some time in mid 2015 - thanks darknet markets. I'm certain I'd never have been able to get hold of that without them. It's probably the second biggest mistake I've made in my life, the biggest being 'coming out as trans' to everyone and then reneging on the decision. That one comes before even trying meth. I don't want that. Transition I mean. I'm glad I figured that out before I went through with it (in the irreversible sense - though I still have irreversible (w/o surgery) breast growth.) Even if that is /only/ because of the time I bought myself with/because of drug abuse.

These days I take plastic parts out of an injection moulding machine, cut off the excess plastic (which is harder on your hands than it sounds, it's very thick and difficult to cut off, especially hundreds of times every day), then I inspect it and put it in a box. It's mind numbing, and it fucks your hands/grip up. Robots are slowly taking over some of it, ofc. (but the inspection will be human for the foreseeable future. The tech isn't there yet, don't believe the hype)

I don't think I'll ever go to uni at this point, I don't have the motivation. I come home exhausted every day, I don't have the energy to teach myself anything new and instead just post on reddit or whatever imageboard like I've always done. Sometimes I question whether or not I ever truly had the motivation to pursue what I /claimed/ I wanted to - i was sick of academia and had a 'good excuse' to stop it for 'a while'.

Even if I did go to uni at this point, how long until I start using again and fuck it all up because b'awww pissbabby can't handle the stress?

I like to believe in determinism. That I don't have free will, and that all of this has happened by no fault of my own, it was just 'meant to be'

But that isn't true. I've fucked up my life all by myself.

If anything above doesn't make sense, i'll correct it when i'm not drunk.

Eeyore 18/07/15(Sun)05:23 No. 5855 ID: 678169

I wanted to be a writer.
I was a decent poet; I loved literature.
I wrote every day in university, I read myself to sleep every night; I didn't watch television for four years.
Then I had to get a job that paid after graduation, so I became a teacher.
That was twelve years ago.
I've not written a word since, I've not read a book since.
In my down time I'm so exhausted all I can do is put on the tube and turn off my mind; sometimes post on 7chan.
I hate what I have become.

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