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How to panhandle Modern Mom 17/07/21(Fri)22:28 No. 3048 ID: 494c89
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I used to be homeless. Here's how to panhandle and make money.

1. Be non-threatening. Don't have a huge dog that barks at people, don't get pissed off when people fuck with you (most white people won't, it's usually blacks or gang-banging messikins). Just don't be an asshole.

2. Be visibly homeless. Don't be completely clean.

3. Have a prop. This can be a wheelchair (it takes a few weeks to get the upper body strength and endurance to wheel yourself around), a cast (get one that you can take off), a cane.

4. You will make at least ten times as much money if you have a small, non-threatening dog. A dachshund is best, a chihuahua is second best. The dog should be calm and not bark at everyone - it takes a few days to train a dog not to bark at everyone.

People will ask you what you need, and a lot will offer to buy you dog food. It's sometimes possible to return the dog food for cash if they give you a receipt, but don't ask for it if they don't give it to you.

5. Be a woman, or at least an attractive man. Women make at least ten times as much money as men.

6. It helps if you have gray hair, especially a gray beard. I'm not sure how to dye hair gray though.

7. If you're housed, don't panhandle where you live. Go to a big city, park far away from where you panhandle. Use your wheelchair or cane to get there and back, and if possible have someone else drive you. Also make sure you have an effective disguise - rub a bit of dirt on your face and clothes, or have a set of panhandling clothes that you don't wash often. Patch the clothes unnecessarily.

8. Fly a sign. Use your imagination.

9. Thank people who help you. Thank you sir, thank you ma'am, God bless you.

10. Don't be a nigger.

11. Get somewhere to store your money inside your clothes that is secure. People will try to rob you.




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