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How to panhandle Modern Mom 17/07/21(Fri)22:28 No. 3048 ID: 494c89

File 150066891966.jpg - (9.36KB , 259x194 , ninja2.jpg )

I used to be homeless. Here's how to panhandle and make money.

1. Be non-threatening. Don't have a huge dog that barks at people, don't get pissed off when people fuck with you (most white people won't, it's usually blacks or gang-banging messikins). Just don't be an asshole.

2. Be visibly homeless. Don't be completely clean.

3. Have a prop. This can be a wheelchair (it takes a few weeks to get the upper body strength and endurance to wheel yourself around), a cast (get one that you can take off), a cane.

4. You will make at least ten times as much money if you have a small, non-threatening dog. A dachshund is best, a chihuahua is second best. The dog should be calm and not bark at everyone - it takes a few days to train a dog not to bark at everyone.

People will ask you what you need, and a lot will offer to buy you dog food. It's sometimes possible to return the dog food for cash if they give you a receipt, but don't ask for it if they don't give it to you.

5. Be a woman, or at least an attractive man. Women make at least ten times as much money as men.

6. It helps if you have gray hair, especially a gray beard. I'm not sure how to dye hair gray though.

7. If you're housed, don't panhandle where you live. Go to a big city, park far away from where you panhandle. Use your wheelchair or cane to get there and back, and if possible have someone else drive you. Also make sure you have an effective disguise - rub a bit of dirt on your face and clothes, or have a set of panhandling clothes that you don't wash often. Patch the clothes unnecessarily.

8. Fly a sign. Use your imagination.

9. Thank people who help you. Thank you sir, thank you ma'am, God bless you.

10. Don't be a nigger.

11. Get somewhere to store your money inside your clothes that is secure. People will try to rob you.

fuck panhandlers Modern Mom 18/11/18(Sun)06:33 No. 3243 ID: 6d522b

panhandlers are bullshit. this is not the depression. there is no shortage of employment or food. these people are actors, scam artists, fuck them they make more per day, tax free, than the people they con. don't feed the panhandler, ignore the panhandler.

Modern Mom 19/01/06(Sun)16:59 No. 3256 ID: 45c91a

Lol kill yourself

Modern Mom 19/02/14(Thu)03:28 No. 3267 ID: 044b1b

no shit. what do you think this thread is about?

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