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Questions about Social Security Disability Modern Mom 18/03/15(Thu)23:58 No. 3140 ID: d789d4

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Amerifag here.

So to get SSDI or SSI you can - among other things - lose a one hand above the wrist and one foot above the ankle, both feet above the ankle, or both hands above the wrist.

I'm sort of trained as a programmer, but I'm currently homeless so I can't continue learning on my own (too busy trying not to die). I want to be disabled so I can get a place of my own via section 8 housing, pay my bills with SSI or SSDI, and then spend the rest of my free time programming until someone will hire me for a decent wage and then I can get off it.


So how can I amputate a hand and a foot in a plausibly deniable manner?

For my hand I could light and hold onto a sufficiently powerful firework (maybe a m80), but I'm not sure that will take it off above the wrist - more likely I'd blow my fingers off.

For my ankle I could eschew socks, pour water in my boots, lace them very tight, and then go on a 15 miles hike several days in a row. This will induce trench foot which should lead to gangrene. Alternately I could wait until winter, pour water in a boot while wearing a cotton sock, and then sleep with that foot out of the sleeping bag - this will also work on a hand, if I use a cotton glove in a leather (waterproof) glove.


Which combination of appendages should I remove?

I'm right handed, so I think I should either remove my left hand and right foot (my right foot is already permanently injured from spraining it 20+ times while homeless - I drag it a bit while walking), or both feet. I need at least one hand and while it would be nice to have one foot it doesn't seem necessary.


Should I apply for SSI or SSDI?

I only worked for about 4 years in my life so far, and not for much money.

I worked at:
* A work study program for fuck-ups and lazy students in high school for about 2 or 3 years.
* A plastic extrusion plant for 3 months after high school (quit before fired).
* I was in the marines for one year and almost 2 months (malingered my way out).
* Wal-Mart for 3 months, which was worse than the USMC (quit before fired)
* A golf course for about 9 or 10 months (best job ever, I love that job).
* A university work-study job for 2 or 3 months (quit).
* KFC for 1 and a half months (fired for bad customer service)
* A seafood processing plant for 3 weeks (quit after they stopped giving me hours).

In total these are about 4 or 5 years, but it's not much so I'm not sure if I'd get more money from SSI or SSDI. Is there a calculator you can use to get potential payment information?

Modern Mom 18/03/16(Fri)03:53 No. 3141 ID: d18aab

Why on earth would you amputate yourself? Niggers manage to scam welfare without chopping off limbs. I don't know much about being homeless, but they got a damn guide on this board. Follow that shit. You might be desperate, but if you're about to cut off a limb there has got to be something you can apply for.

Modern Mom 18/03/16(Fri)20:52 No. 3142 ID: d789d4

Wakandan-Americans staff most offices for things like disability, welfare, food stamps, and section 8 housing. Plus many of them shop for diagnoses from coethnics and sympathetic shitlibs. They have an entire network for scamming that I do not, therefore I must do something desperate to get disability.

Oh yeah, one other thing: I have $55,000 in student loan debt that I can't pay off because no one will hire a homeless person.

I can't follow the guide because the local library is only open 4 or 5 hours a day and I miss 2 of those hours due to meals at the local homeless shelter. No where else has free wifi and plug-ins out of the weather (which is cold and rainy here). I literally do not have the capability to use my laptop often enough to learn anything, and when I do is when the library is noisiest (the junkies are getting into arguments or local NEETs watch their anime).

Modern Mom 18/04/09(Mon)06:53 No. 3160 ID: 1e52d0

If you fuck up and lose a hand, how are you going to program efficiently?

Modern Mom 18/04/12(Thu)23:20 No. 3163 ID: d789d4

Losing a hand is the whole point, there's no fucking up about it. Anyways, I'd program by getting a chorded keyboard.


My plan is to wait until winter hits and then go camping in the mountains. I'll wear my water resistant boots and gloves. Just before I go to bed, I'll dip my right foot and left hand in a river for a few minutes, pour some water in the boot/glove for those appendages, and then put a few rubber bands around the wrist/ankle parts of the boot/glove for them. Then I'll go to sleep with those parts out of my sleeping bag and with any luck they'll be frozen solid when I wake up.

My excuse will be that my right foot broke through the ice, and I caught my fall with my left hand (which also broke through the ice). Thus I'll be have an excuse.

That should get me $771 a month in SSI. I did the research, if you don't have over $10,000 a year for the past 10 years you only get like $650 in SSDI. SSDI is like insurance, and your social security taxes are how you pay into it. If you're like me and spent most of your life working off the books and living off your savings, you can't get SSDI.

I can move to some town in the middle of nowhere and build a house on $771 a year. I would be slow as fuck with one hand, one foot, and a prosthetic foot but I can do it.

Modern Mom 18/04/13(Fri)02:58 No. 3167 ID: d28da9

holy shit man i was homeless for 3 days how the fuck do you do this? how old are you? im 23.

Modern Mom 18/04/13(Fri)23:27 No. 3172 ID: d789d4

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>holy shit man i was homeless for 3 days how the fuck do you do this? how old are you? im 23.

I'm 32, been homeless off and on since august of 2011 though I did camp on a golf course I worked at in 2010 for about 4 months. I hitch-hiked cross country and almost died a bunch of times, if you are suicidal just go hitch-hiking instead and eventually you'll meet your maker.

It's just long-term camping and hiking, but instead of dealing with 4 legged wildlife you're dealing with 2 legged wildlife. The same principles apply.

Most larger towns (especially county seats) have homeless shelters, food banks, and places where you can apply for food stamps. It's not that hard, though with Trumpcrates it might be a little difficult to lug your food around LOL.

My plan is to find a place to chill for a few months until winter comes, then lose a foot and hand to frostbite. I should be able to immediately get provisional SSI ($771 a month) and then a few months after that get it permanent.

If that's not enough I'll find a way to make myself mute (I don't need to speak to do what I want in life), and if that doesn't work I'll use a laser pointer to make myself blind in my left eye. Having only 1 functioning foot, hand, and eye, and also being mute should be more than enough.

My plan after that is to flog my disability to my creditors to get them to give up on debt collection, and then either buy a piece of land somewhere and build a house or build a sailboat and teach myself how to sail.

For the house I want to live far away from the rest of the world and be totally off the grid - grow my own food, generate and store my own power, store water in ponds and cisterns, and generally do whatever I want. I've been researching this for a few years (before weed was legal I wanted to do an underground grow op), and it's doable if you have unlimited free time and a slightly above average IQ. I'll save the SSI money in a safe hidden on my property and use it to pay my taxes and buy what I can't make. Maybe set up a crytpo-mining rig since I would have my own power system. Along with all that I want to have as much of this stuff hidden from the public as possible, and put a shitty facade on my property so it seems worthless to the tax man (lower taxes). To pull this off I also need land that will never be seized via eminent domain, land that is completely useless (a swamp, marsh, or a wooded hill), and land to which I can buy the mineral rights (to ensure that no one ever builds an oil or gas well on it). This land will be cheapest too.

For the house it's just a matter of reading books, moving somewhere with a big bay on the ocean and cheap property, building a small sail boat to teach myself how to do stuff in a bay, and then designing and building a boat that can withstand the rigors of the open ocean. My best option is probably a monohull junk rigged sailboat, about 30 feet long, made of a very tough and durable material. I'll need redundant desalinators (both electric and manual), solar panels built into the design, a ship-radio, a bunch of nautical equipment and the know-how to use it, and other stuff. Junk rigs are great because unless you're trying to sail against the wind they are pretty good, they're very easy to use, they're robust, and they're very low maintenance. My plan in that case would be to live on my boat and sail around the world fucking tourists and Asians, all while collecting SSI. Maybe take rich faggots on tours around various islands.

It might be a good idea to have an optional triple hulled catamaran build I can pull down when I'm in calm waters, it would give me more room to do stuff and stabilize the boat. You don't want that in rough seas though because apparently once a multi-hull boat capsizes it stays capsized, but a monohull can right itself if the ballast is in place.

I'd also need a small-ish garden for when I get tired of seafood, but that's easy to do with hydroponics and compost/urine.

If you want to try the hobo life my advice is to stay housed for about 3 months and go on 3 to 6 mile walks every day except weekends. Try to alternate blacktop paths and soil/sand paths. Carry a heavy pack with you - fill it with gallon jugs of water. One gallon equals eight pounds. Start with one gallon and add one gallon every week or two until you have about 48 pounds (six gallons).

Your feet will get blisters, but that's okay - it's part of the hardening process. Cut them open with a tiny hole, drain them, wash them, and keep them dry. Eventually the skin under them will heal and you'll have tough calloused feet that never get serious blisters.

Oh yeah: stop smoking and drinking too. If you live somewhere with severe air pollution (Reno, Salt Lake City, Los Angeles, Eugene), move elsewhere. This kills your cardio gains.

After your 3 months are up you'll find you have unlimited energy to do stuff and you get antsy unless walk a few miles a day. You'll be able to walk very fast and for a very long time with a heavy pack. When this happens, once a week do a 20 mile hike and take the day before and after it off. Do this many miles in a week:
3, 6, 0, 20, 0, 6, 3

This should put you in perfect shape for doing anything outdoors. If you want an upper body workout, don't use the hip strap on your hiking backpack - this puts all the weight on your shoulders, chest, back, and neck.

For camping I recommend a camouflage tarp (6 feet by 8 feet), camouflage netting over the tarp, olive drap spraypaint for the shiny metal parts on the tarp, and black/green 550 paracord. Build your campsite far away from people and trails in a wooded area. Make sure that you must climb over and duck under fallen trees, brambles, tree branches, vines, and whatever other obstacles you can find to reach your campsite. You want to make it as hard to reach as possible.

Modern Mom 18/04/29(Sun)01:36 No. 3175 ID: 6ac797

Just go with depression/PTSD. You will probably get denied at first, but with your situation they might not even deny you like they do most people. Sacrificing a hand is...the most distorted thing I've ever heard. You don't need to lose that much to get it, just calm down.

Modern Mom 18/05/10(Thu)17:22 No. 3185 ID: 872ce5

how are you gonna program without a hand, dipshit
take both the ankles

Modern Mom 18/05/11(Fri)23:00 No. 3186 ID: 378613

Only need one hand to type

Modern Mom 18/05/20(Sun)17:51 No. 3194 ID: fc07df

I knew a girl that was on disability because she was "bipolar". Fake it to make it.

Only thing she did all day was play WoW and ate. She seem "normal" to me with nothing wrong. B ut I think she just faked it so she won't have to do shit.

Modern Mom 18/06/04(Mon)05:07 No. 3198 ID: ad8e48

You should watch the documentary "Vernon, Florida" by Errol Morris

Modern Mom 18/06/29(Fri)21:11 No. 3208 ID: 0d4d1e

Where do you think I got the idea?

Dude f 18/08/28(Tue)10:14 No. 3222 ID: a6cc75

Dude if you need a house go to the mentally ill house I think they will gladly have you in

Modern Mom 18/09/14(Fri)02:55 No. 3223 ID: 6009e1

I get SSI because I got diagnosed with Autism, probably easier too fake tbh.

Modern Mom 19/02/17(Sun)01:23 No. 3271 ID: 674c06

Thanks man. I don't live as a full on hobo but your routine certainly was helpful for my mostly vagrant lifestyle.

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