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There was a theory like this on Will and Grace, but I forget the exact wording. Something about how certain people need attention and coddling and need to be made to feel as if they are worth something, and then there are people the who provide that kind of attention.
Sort of a "producer" and "consumer" deal. The funny thing is, a lot of people don't understand the concept of altruism. With "producer" types, they actually legitimately enjoy giving more than receiving.
And I don't mean the kind of giving that doesn't actually deprive the giver of anything (like billionaires dropping cash on charities and then using it as tax deductions); I mean when it's true zero-sum and you make yourself to be the loser. I mean when you spent three hours cooking the best meal you've ever made, and then spilled too much salt on one plate, and yet choose to give the other one to someone else, leaving the horrible plate for yourself. I mean making sure your partner has an orgasm while not caring if you have one. I mean giving ten bucks to a homeless guy on the street, when that was the only money you had to buy lunch today. I mean when you've got a bad taste in your mouth or a bad case of the blue balls or a growling stomach and being HAPPY about it, because you knew what the alternative was and wouldn't accept it. Really, the alternative simply wasn't an option for you in the first place; it would hurt too much.
Ironically, the type of person this is represented in is often the reverse of the stereotype. People can picture a dominant, alpha guy as the greedy asshole who takes what he wants and leaves none behind. Although there are people like this, they are rare. Most "consumers" are actually lazy and submissive, hoarding what little the world freely offers them but not striving for more. The really strong "producers" attack life and amass wealth and resources just to have the freedom to distribute it to their loved ones as they see fit. The end result can be a happy reciprocity; the more people the "producer" helps, the more help he will receive in turn, and he will have a more comfortable and blessed life than if he had been greedy. Sadly, there are not many people like this. Most people are "consumers" who look outside themselves to provide meaning and pleasure to their lives. They speak of a career that will fulfill them, a soulmate who will complete them, a faith that will comfort them. They are empty people who take solace in sex, drugs, food, or cheap entertainment; and they can never truly be happy unless they are lucky enough to find a very tolerant "producer" who is willing to give everything for their sake and stick by them.
Not everyone is at the far end of the spectrum, of course, but in my experience there are far more consumers than producers. Most people cannot be happy unless they are being given attention in some way.
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