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>What amazing thing are you going to do with your life?
I'm writing a compilation of 31 separate but interconnected novels, which cross eight different timelines and several thousand years, each of which presents a small facet of explanation on how life itself functions in this universe, in accordance to a grand unification theory I've developed that encompasses religion, science, metaphysics, and philosophy; and when taken as a whole represent the complete summery of the entirety of functional reality and how it affects sentient lifeforms, such as humans.
But that's just a bit of a hobby, really (along with designing and constructing fully-functional flight simulator cockpits, mostly from scratch [me, buy off-the-shelf throttle quadrants...? please]). My main job is protecting the assets of senior citizens from the sad thing I called the partial or complete lack of comprehensive health/life insurance and safe investments.
Also, I am much prettier than you are, and manage to do so without even trying. Seriously, I shave and shower in like half an hour and sometimes forget to watch my hair. But I look 16 years old and tend to make people horny as hell by just smiling in their general direction. I've yet to meet a gay man that didn't ask at least once if I wanted to have sex with him, and several that practically begged. It's gotten to the point that telling girls that ask me out that I'm never going to be interested is such a pain that I've considered wearing a "sorry I'm a fag" sign.
The world will be much worse off without me. In fact, I've calculated that I'm probably worth several hundred of you. That is through no fault of your own, however; just felt like pointing that out. You're just doing the best you can with your reasonable inadequacies of intelligence and creativity and drive. Wherever it is you came from, you're probably a little about average at least, maybe even far above average. But me? "Average" is someplace that I sped by when I was about ten-years-old, and I've been accelerating ever since. Compared to me, you're less than an ant; and that's not vanity it's just the fact of reality. Everyone is equal, but some people are more equal than others (as Orwell might say). I know you think you're something special when you look at those dolls you see walking around with nothing but a pretty face, and you're probably better than most of them.
But me? I'm better than all of them, and all of you, and all of everyone else. I am unequivocally and absolutely the greatest human being to have ever existed. Why is that? Because I said so. Because I don't have to believe or think anymore, I just KNOW. If you KNEW that you were the greatest of them all, you might be pretty good yourself. But you don't think that, in fact you probably have periods every single day when you think you're worth about as much as anyone else. That, my dear, is why you're such a failure, and why I am so much better. I look at think that people say is impossible, and I laugh. I don't even plan to die. Nothing is inevitable but death and taxes? Well, all sorts of people can escape taxes, but I'll be the first one to escape death, through nothing but sheer force of will and assumed capability. I've never lost anything before, after all.
You want something to compare yourself to? Compare yourself to me. Probably, you couldn't even do what I've already done if you had a million years to try... but at least it gives you a mark a little higher to shoot for than some sad sacks at a shopping mall.
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class /
co /
eh /
fit /
halp /
jew /
lit /
phi /
pr /
rnb /
sci /
tg /
w /
zom
]
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a /
grim /
hi /
me /
rx /
vg /
wp /
x
]
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be /
cake /
cd /
d /
di /
elit /
fag /
fur /
gif /
h /
men /
pco /
s /
sm /
ss /
unf /
v
]