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Hello, recently I've been going through a lot but I will start by saying I am diagnosed with PTSD, Insomnia, Anxiety and Depression but lately I feel like stuff has been triggering me a lot and pushing me to the edge I am 19-years-old and I've been admitted into the mental hospital once and was on suicide watch another time, anyways recently my grand father just got diagnosed with Type-2 Diabetes and had his foot amputated so I've literally been unable to sleep or eat and I've been having panic attack after panic attack to the point where I fainted once I've been prescribed Zoloft and Vistaril but my family doesn't like the way it affects me at all plus it I would have really bad nightmares so I went to the doctor and got prescribed Lexapro 7.5 mg, BuSpar 15 mg and Clonazepam 0.5 mg and I cant tell if the Lexapro 7.5 is working yet but every time I take BuSpar I feel increased anxiety and I feel tingly in places in my body and get this weird feeling that I just do not like, and the Clonazepam was too long lasting.. My anxiety isn't just caused by what's going on recently it's been here my whole life because of the home I grew up in where I would get thrown in cold showers for wetting the bed or get a taco bell hot sauce packet squirted in my eye and seeing my mom get stabbed in the arm by her boyfriend plus just so much more that I could wright a book about to my father being murdered (http://wvw.aldia.cr/ad_ee/2010/mayo/31/sucesos2390697.h) < article on my father . after that I've gone down hill to fucking up in school and not going for 6 months to the point where I got court ordered to go to therapy after I told the Judge about what happened because I was 12 and seen the up close pictures of my dads head hanging on his body by just a little string of skin it looked like I can remember every single detail. Anyways my house is still broken I still have a drunk for a stepfather and my only parent tells me to kill myself I feel sick with anxiety I literally just stopped going to work and lost my job before I could get FMLA Signed because my panic attacks were happening quite frequent to the point where I just feel dizzy and scared for my life I dont even go outside anymore to see my friends because I just cant bring myself to doing it I even sometimes miss my doctors appointments and therapy sessions because I am just so anxious I feel like my brains are equivalent to scrambled eggs.. I also missed my job interview at Starbucks because I am terrified to get denied of the job I just dont even want to bare the embarrassment because it causes me to freak out a little bit I just want a medication that is effective for once so and I've been reading about Xanax and I really think that it could help I've already got prescribed a 10 pill prescription of Clonazepam which is already a benzo but it just isn't really effective for me I've never tried a xanax before but I've read the reviews and I know that the withdrawal is terrible but it cant be as terrible as having these panic attacks because I just feel my whole world crumbling in the time being.. How can I mention this?