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/v/ - The Vineyard
This board is dedicated to the fine art of sticking your penis into a nice wine. Rules:

1. Love your wine as you would love your woman.
2. Please, no trolling, just discussion of some of the finer things in life.
3. Cheese is an acceptable topic of discussion. After all, what goes with wine if not cheese?
4. No champagne.


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  • Currently 389 unique user posts. View catalog

  • Blotter updated: 2011-01-12 Show/Hide Show All

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Loss of Content Wine Connoisseur ## Admin ## 11/07/26(Tue)09:34 No. 2008 [Reply] Stickied
2008

File 131166569389.jpg - (28.19KB , 626x417 , red-wine-turned-over-drink-wineglass_3121244[1].jpg )

Due to a summer fig, all content of /v/ has been lost. I have asked for backups to be reloaded for the time being. We apologize for the inconvenience.


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Wine Connoisseur 11/08/19(Fri)11:55 No. 2033

Nothing of value was lost. POP BOTTLES ON MODELS Y'ALL!!!!




SHOW ME YOUR PRIDE !/v/Kinga8Y!!p5BQRmAmR4 12/05/10(Thu)22:42 No. 2163 [Reply]
2163

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i am now god of the vineyard


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bring a friend !/v/Kinga8Y!!p5BQRmAmR4 12/05/11(Fri)08:07 No. 2168

no one likes to spend /v/day alone, so find yourself a /v/day buddy and spread the love. This is predominantly a gentleman's board, however you may bring along your significant other, and YES, if you don't have a significant other, you may bring your waifu.


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Party favours !/v/Kinga8Y!!p5BQRmAmR4 12/05/11(Fri)08:19 No. 2169

for those classy enough to participate i have here for your pleasure, some aesthetics that just may enhance your experience.

Virtual Fireplace: for those of you who switched the ol place out for a digital display.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_BL5EKwSqE&feature=BFa&list=PL16B3FBDE747B694F&lf=BFp&index=2

endless classy tunes loop: for those of you who enjoy some good old fashion jaz
http://endlessvideo.com//watch?v=fGkujkBRaIQ

Rain: for those of you, like me, who love a good rain storm during the ol dippity dappity. (best if 5.1 surround sound)
http://www.rainymood.com/

more tunes: because one track just isn't enough.
http://www.webtechies.fm/radio/search/genre/30s-40s-165


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Wine Connoisseur 12/05/17(Thu)01:50 No. 2171

whew, sorry i wasn't around for /v/ day.
i was arrested for indecent exposure at olive garden




Cheesethread anyone? Jacob, the Hipster 12/03/24(Sat)04:58 No. 2148 [Reply]
2148

File 133256153259.jpg - (41.52KB , 475x315 , eco_friendly_wine_cheese.jpg )

I'm a newfag, so correct me if I'm wrong, but I see no cheese to go with the wine threads. So let's start one, eh?


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Wine Connoisseur 12/04/08(Sun)07:08 No. 2154

Yes.


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Wine Connoisseur 12/05/11(Fri)20:04 No. 2170

I'm a fan of emdam




Wine Connoisseur 12/05/05(Sat)19:14 No. 2162 [Reply]
2162

File 133623807624.jpg - (157.84KB , 1000x720 , 1336232322963505.jpg )

i gave this a try last night and was just blown away, just beyond description other than to say that it will be a while before i go back to dipping in wine




Awaiting Moderation 7chan Server !BEEPBOOP ## System ## 12/05/05(Sat)03:20 No. 2161 [Reply]

This post has been flagged for administrative review.




Wine Connoisseur 11/03/15(Tue)18:55 No. 1656 [Reply]
1656

File 130021171486.png - (189.75KB , 451x302 , 1291435839235.png )

What do the gentlemen of /v/ think of box wine?


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Baxed Wine Andley M 11/08/05(Fri)07:16 No. 2016

I do say. I much prefer a slightly chilled glass of cooking wine when it's refreshment I seek. Harrumph. I suppose it is boxed, but I find the box to be undignified and beneath me, like some common Tom Dick or Harry, or nigger. But to date, it's the only thing I drink, no matter the time of day or circumstance. Harrumph. Harrumph. G'day gents.


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Wine Connoisseur 12/03/07(Wed)08:27 No. 2144

>>1855
Jarred mustard an abomination? Surely, you jest. The filth that comes in squeeze bottles is an insult to the food upon which it is spread.

However, your comparison to bagged milk is right on the mark, sir.


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Wine Connoisseur 12/05/01(Tue)20:50 No. 2160

>>2144
So, sir, you claim there is mustard served in squeeze bottles?

Must admit it would be a pretty amusing joke if not blatantly obvious.

What's next? Try to convince us that said nightmarish containers are made of petroleum byproducts?




Savvy 11/11/12(Sat)09:46 No. 2079 [Reply]
2079

File 132108760162.gif - (495.90KB , 400x302 , 1321058505500.gif )

The scrotal region, perineum and penis are the most active uptake zone on the human body. Anything will be absorbed and anything vaugely lipdish will have a more rapid uptake.

HOWEVER

The tannin polymers rapidly block the osmotic receptors on the skin. You might not actually get drunk.


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Wine Connoisseur 12/03/21(Wed)22:52 No. 2146

>>2129
If you have to explain the troll then you failed at successfully trolling.
LURK MOAR


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Wine Connoisseur 12/03/28(Wed)22:59 No. 2151

>>2146
You are a philistine sir. The gentleman was simply informing those of lesser intellect then himself the nature of, and reason behind, this board. I believe it is you who should, as you put it, "Lurk More".


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Wine Connoisseur 12/05/01(Tue)20:45 No. 2159

I am academically involved into sylviculture but I'm not a true wine connoisseur since I lack both sophistication and experience on given subject. Oak and Hazelnut woods have suppossedly the highest content of tannins but I'm not sure if the content transmitted into the wine through the barrels is sufficient to have any effect other than a discreet tangy aroma and a minor contribution to vascular health after years of wine consumption.




Sexy WIne? Wine Connoisseur 11/08/18(Thu)08:03 No. 2028 [Reply]
2028

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Hey Gents, James May here. I'm doing an upcoming series about the aphrodisiacal affects of wine. I might even try some on these things on Oz. Old bastard didn't even realize the date rape I did on the caravan during season two. I'm also into anal play. There's nothing better than the smooth feel of a 1964 Chateau Latour going up my bum. So you Gentlemen have any ideas for my series?


2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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Wine Connoisseur 12/02/19(Sun)14:31 No. 2136

read the whole thing in his voice


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Wine Connoisseur 12/02/26(Sun)00:09 No. 2139
2139

File 133021134311.jpg - (35.06KB , 560x370 , James May's Favourite Car.jpg )

*On the latest Top Gear episode during the news section*

James: Guys (louder) guys! Good news!
Jeremy: (sarcastically) Not the Dacia Sandero!
(audience laughs)
James: No, I'm a raging homosexual and I love wine in my rectum with a cock stuffed in it. (after the awkward and timid glances from the audience and the co-hosts) Of course it's the Dacia Sandero...

This would be the best Top Gear episode, ever.


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Wine Connoisseur 12/05/01(Tue)00:19 No. 2158

James May lives in Hammersmith, London with dance critic Sarah Frater, whom he has dated since 2000. not gay...




Wine Connoisseur 10/01/14(Thu)15:58 No. 936 [Reply] [Last 50 posts]
936

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Wait, does /v/ REALLY dip their penises into wine? I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

Pic is what I prefer.


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Wine Connoisseur 12/02/29(Wed)05:41 No. 2140

This is just odd


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Wine Connoisseur 12/03/05(Mon)03:20 No. 2141

yeah this some crooked little vein shit but

you ain't experienced a spicy little cab sav biting back 'till she bit you on the dick


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Wine Connoisseur 12/04/22(Sun)08:32 No. 2157

i can understand why you were horrified by /cake/ (i like it but i can understand) but how the hell can you be horrified by /cd/ thats mild as fuck as far as paraphilias go. you must be extremely sheltered to be even unsettled by something like that nowadays. either that or your 12..




How to Host a Wine Dipping Wine Connoisseur 11/02/07(Mon)04:03 No. 1529 [Reply]
1529

File 129704783080.jpg - (96.94KB , 500x500 , wine.jpg )

Gentlemen of /v/,

Allow me to share the finer details of a "Wine Dipping Party"

1. The Guest List: Only invite gentlemen whom share your taste for the finer wines. If they insist on dipping champagne tell them to kindly exit your presence.

2. To make your event a bit more challenging, offer a “blind dipping” experience. In this case, you still provide your guests with their individual tasting cards. However, you pour each wine without identifying the label (cover bottles with foil or a brown bag and mark with a number prior to serving), allowing them to incorporate all of their senses to identify the respective wines based on the labels’ descriptions. The guest that is able to identify the most wines correctly wins a prized bottle of wine or perhaps a book on the art of wine dipping.

3. Decorations for a wine tasting party can range from a white table cloth and candles to Old World, Tuscan faux paintings and vintage bottles scattered throughout your “dipping room.” In either case, remember to keep the atmosphere light and engaging. You may consider starting the evening with a bit of wine trivia, just to get the conversation rolling.


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Wine Connoisseur 11/02/08(Tue)16:12 No. 1534

Would you mind telling me what the proper ettiquette is at a dipping party as far as flaccidness/erectness when dipping?


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Wine Connoisseur 11/02/08(Tue)22:58 No. 1535

Generally one enters flaccid, and exits flaccid. What happens in between is between a man and his wine and any honourable guest would appreciate that.


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Wine Connoisseur 12/04/13(Fri)06:19 No. 2156

Is it bad manners to taste a wine that you have dipped in? I'd for my guests to consider me barbaric for sampling a wine with my tongue that Id have previously placed my member into it...




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