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/v/ - The Vineyard
This board is dedicated to the fine art of sticking your penis into a nice wine. Rules:

1. Love your wine as you would love your woman.
2. Please, no trolling, just discussion of some of the finer things in life.
3. Cheese is an acceptable topic of discussion. After all, what goes with wine if not cheese?
4. No champagne.

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  • Currently 421 unique user posts. View catalog

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Loss of Content Wine Connoisseur ## Admin ## 11/07/26(Tue)09:34 No. 2008 [Reply] Stickied

File 131166569389.jpg - (28.19KB , 626x417 , red-wine-turned-over-drink-wineglass_3121244[1].jpg )

Due to a summer fig, all content of /v/ has been lost. I have asked for backups to be reloaded for the time being. We apologize for the inconvenience.

8 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 18/11/27(Tue)06:14 No. 3468

So will the levels of quality champagne posts (champagne being superoir to wine in every way) be higher now and moving forward? I am a man of refined taste and can't stomach all of these flat grapejuice images.

Ejaculate in Absinthe Wine Connoisseur 15/01/14(Wed)17:37 No. 2858 [Reply]

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Hello, /v/.

Though I've seen the board clearly enforce its wine-only nature, I only have this place to turn to for such a question.

I do not appreciate wine, as I rather absinthe, and would appreciate other drinkers' input on this proposal. If preparing absinthe normally involves a sugar cube and water, I believe we could find a substitute, so that we could discard our spoons and sugar. Semen is around 40% fructose, and makes for a rather sweet substance. Is it possible to ejaculate in your absinthe to prepare it?

All other absinthe enthusiasts would turn away from my theory, but I know that those who enjoy their wine and their penises could help me confirm my idea. If someone could turn this true, or at least share their knowledge on sugar and spirit, I ask now.

3 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 19/05/22(Wed)12:37 No. 3487

As an absinthe fanatic I see two problems with this proposal: quality and quantity.

The boy will need to eat a special diet for at least two or three meals to encourage a sweet flavor that works well with absinthe. Spices should be carefully selected and limited. Sweets with compatible flavors must dominate the diet. Strong, bitter and high protein should be avoid to prevent bitter saltiness.

Quantity is another issue. Many things that up quantity like ginseng, zinc and protein would ruin the quality. However, without significant quantity semen it would be very hard to make a decent drink of any size.

In short, sugar is still the best option, IMHO unless you have an excellent stable of milk boys ready to live on sweets...

Wine Connoisseur 19/05/26(Sun)03:35 No. 3488

>In short, sugar is still the best option, IMHO unless you have an excellent stable of milk boys ready to live on sweets...

Are you seriously telling me you don't have any milk fed gimps on hand?

Wine Connoisseur 19/05/30(Thu)15:48 No. 3489

One wouldn't be enough. Considering the sugars make up only 40% of volume. The average ejection volume is a spoonful and reduces with sucessive ejaculations. At best you could get Three or four spoonfuls from one milk boy. That is barely enough for obe decent drink and it takes a week to refill. Freezing might compromise quality.

Price? 19/01/08(Tue)22:08 No. 3474 [Reply]

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Could someone tell me how much this 0.75l bottle costs, I got it from a friend and can't really find the price of it. Thank you

Wine Connoisseur 19/01/08(Tue)22:09 No. 3475

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2nd pic

Wine Connoisseur 19/01/08(Tue)23:30 No. 3478

About $25 to $30 seems to be the going price. Has descent reviews too.

Wine Connoisseur 11/05/04(Wed)00:50 No. 1757 [Reply]

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Fuck your normal wine.

1 post omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 11/05/12(Thu)03:40 No. 1772

hahaha. fucking excellent.

SAGE+ 11/05/13(Fri)16:21 No. 1776

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Wine Connoisseur 11/07/24(Sun)01:27 No. 1888

>>1776 a year ago

The fuck is wrong with you? That should have been drank a long time ago.

Wine Connoisseur 10/01/14(Thu)15:58 No. 936 [Reply] [Last 50 posts]

File 126348113394.jpg - (20.05KB , 800x703 , hand.jpg )

Wait, does /v/ REALLY dip their penises into wine? I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

Pic is what I prefer.

74 posts and 7 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 18/06/03(Sun)08:56 No. 3463

This thread has been going on for 8 year what the heck?

Winedicks Justwannaseewinedicks 18/08/20(Mon)06:50 No. 3466


Wine Connoisseur 18/11/27(Tue)23:53 No. 3469

The board is quieter, but dipping is going strong. I've just uncorked a positively sublime pino noir, and I will be sharing a special moment with the virgin pouring shortly. Many of us, being men of import as we tend to be, do not have the time to check this board very often.

Casterbation Wine Connoisseur 11/09/26(Mon)00:39 No. 2056 [Reply]

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Being a man of dipping pleasures I though I'd try broaden my horizon with something traditionally less savoury . At my place of working we handle large quantities of £50 pound notes and it happened that one night I was alone and the queen was giving me such a dirty look (we all know how kinky she is) that I took to lowering my culottes and wrapping her fine face (not the calamity that befell Sir John Houblons) around my John Thompson and proceeding as you envisage, of course no man would dare climax in front of her majesty so it was with great satisfaction I tethered my loins most regally and carried on with close of business.

I thought I would share that with you and enquire if someone else has shared in such pleasures.

2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 12/09/22(Sat)05:10 No. 2230

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Why OP, you inspired me to try it out, but as an American I didn't have quick access to bills with female characters on them, so I had to settle for Hamilton
We both enjoyed it though

Wine Connoisseur 14/08/08(Fri)10:41 No. 2699

You don't want to handle the hamilton?

Wine Connoisseur 18/07/23(Mon)03:31 No. 3465

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Wine Connoisseur 14/02/01(Sat)09:48 No. 2449 [Reply]

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i have been lurking this board for a few years now and i cant figure out, is this a real fetish, or is it a bad joke gone wrong?
i will delete when i get an answer from you fine gentlemen.

7 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 16/11/02(Wed)02:54 No. 3425

Pics, anon.

Wine Connoisseur 18/01/16(Tue)23:05 No. 3458

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It's certainly not a joke, you uncultured swine. The many nuances of the art of dipping your penis into a glass of fine, properly aged red wine is probably lost on you, but I will give you a hint regardless as to why this practice has taken off so much: when you dip your penis into wine, the urethra of the penis absorbs the alcohol far quicker than your stomach would (in the same way that alcohol through the anus is absorbed far quicker than through oral ingestion). However, because we are not fucking animals, we avoid the practice of sticking wine bottles up our buttocks (it also makes shitposting on 7chan much harder). Therefore, we've found that the quickest and most efficient way of absorption is through the urethra. And eventually, just as how over hundreds of years there became more and less tasteful ways to consume alcohol (fine wine vs. Budlite), there are more and less tasteful ways to rapidly absorb it. And thus the art of dipping was born.

Wine Connoisseur 18/04/24(Tue)11:46 No. 3460


Unacceptable ! Le French man 14/09/18(Thu)14:26 No. 2780 [Reply]

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Dear Moderator. As a french wine drinker, let me clarify something.
I find very disappointing to see soemone getting banned for posting a "champagne" Pic, as :
- It is made of Grapefruits like wine, besides of the fact that this board is called "the Vineyard"
- Champagne is a true Wine (sub familly of Sparkling Wines)
-Champagne is the most prestigious, and famous wine.
Don't judge me, i'm a connoiseur, and my familly lives in the "Région Champagne-Ardennes", and more accuratley in "Haute-Marn
As an expert, we own Red wine "Chateau-Lafite 1964" (1500€) and some "Breton Grand Cru" (100€)
All of this to ask you to tolerate champagne amateurs in this thread please.

4 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 17/03/01(Wed)22:29 No. 3436

I like Mimes

Wine Connoisseur 17/05/30(Tue)23:29 No. 3441

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You're going to burn in hell for that.

Wine Connoisseur 17/08/09(Wed)11:41 No. 3449

The real question is, how does it feel to dip your penis in a glass of champagne?

Is it an experience worth sharing?

Wine Connoisseur 11/08/24(Wed)15:15 No. 2038 [Reply]

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Due to recent unemployment, I have been reduced to this.


5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 17/01/23(Mon)08:39 No. 3431

Bettern BudLite

Wine Connoisseur 17/01/30(Mon)01:20 No. 3432

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boy if you dont steal those then free beer is a glitch

Wine Connoisseur 17/03/01(Wed)22:28 No. 3435


What a shame...you should be grateful for such high quality elixir to reach your mortal hands

fragolino and other fizzy reds farmer 16/11/27(Sun)02:40 No. 3426 [Reply]

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whats the deal with this? sparkling reds are stupid hard to find these days. why fizzred? pissed fast, no headache, cheap. i read the frag grape is illegall in europe as it carries disease and comes from americah. so does that mean amerifats get all the good swag fizzred?

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