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/v/ - The Vineyard
This board is dedicated to the fine art of sticking your penis into a nice wine. Rules:

1. Love your wine as you would love your woman.
2. Please, no trolling, just discussion of some of the finer things in life.
3. Cheese is an acceptable topic of discussion. After all, what goes with wine if not cheese?
4. No champagne.

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  • Currently 422 unique user posts. View catalog

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Wine Connoisseur Of Sorts 12/05/30(Wed)03:03 No. 2182 [Reply]

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So i found this in my Basement /v/

What do think?


5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 14/03/14(Fri)00:30 No. 2464

Dont hurt me... But whats wrong with champagne?

Wine Connoisseur 14/04/06(Sun)09:18 No. 2501

I am new to this site and forum and am just wondering why are you not allowed to post about champagne

Wine Connoisseur 14/04/13(Sun)04:18 No. 2511

I think it's champagne.

Wine Connoisseur 13/02/12(Tue)07:45 No. 2274 [Reply]

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How is a woman to enjoy a fine wine?

4 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 13/05/03(Fri)17:11 No. 2291



Wine Connoisseur 13/07/02(Tue)07:54 No. 2298

File 137274449551.jpg - (23.97KB , 277x360 , victorywaitsonyourfingers_sm.jpg )

By dabbing.

Wine Connoisseur 14/03/14(Fri)02:38 No. 2465

Good question sir. All female connoisseurs carry 'wine rags.' A wine rag is usually the size of a large cloth napkin or washcloth. The lady uses it as a sponge, dipping it in her wine glass. She then drops her panties, squats or lies down, and grabs one end in front of her and the opposite end behind her. The lady would hold it against her flower, and alternate pulling ends of the cloth. This wrings it into her ravine, letting her enjoy her wine.

Cheesethread anyone? Jacob, the Hipster 12/03/24(Sat)04:58 No. 2148 [Reply]

File 133256153259.jpg - (41.52KB , 475x315 , eco_friendly_wine_cheese.jpg )

I'm a newfag, so correct me if I'm wrong, but I see no cheese to go with the wine threads. So let's start one, eh?

7 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 13/08/04(Sun)15:40 No. 2304

The only cheese a dapper dipper like myself requires is a fine smegma.

Wine Connoisseur 13/09/04(Wed)07:55 No. 2313

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Wine Connoisseur 13/10/03(Thu)19:06 No. 2317

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Gentleman, it seems to me that the most intense, intimate and hedonic means of enjoying the finest cheeses require that a man's member has been spared the cruelest of cuts. At risk of sounding gauche, many men, especially those of us who reside in these United States of America, lack a foreskin. I, myself, have experimented with various soft cheese - mostly derived from fine goat milks - as well as double-cream bries, and yet I feel like I am missing out on a certain I-don't-know-what.

Wine Connoisseur 13/06/15(Sat)17:02 No. 2293 [Reply]

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I must say this board is far less erotic than I expected it to be

6/10 tops, but really I was hoping for a solid 8.5

Wine Connoisseur 12/12/26(Wed)11:15 No. 2261 [Reply]

File 135651694912.jpg - (22.54KB , 333x250 , Cheese1.jpg )

>So I come back to this board almost three years later to find it in a terrible state of affairs. My initial foray into dipping remains, but the pictorial evidence seems to have vanished. So, friends, as I repost this classic /v/ineyard story, join me in remembering a journey of discovery that took place in February of 2010 and has shaped my cultural and social life ever since.

I have procured this lovely snack, but I find myself in need of a good wine. With a fully-stocked wine rack, courtesy of mother and father, I feel that I shall not go wanting. The question is, which wine to choose?

Join me on a journey of discovery, friends.

3 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 12/12/26(Wed)11:21 No. 2265

File 135651731045.jpg - (375.19KB , 800x600 , DSC02195.jpg )

Here more than ever the dusky, dark red hue of the wine is most visible - notice that the head of my dongus is almost entirely obscured. I rest for a moment, savoring the sensation of the ethyl alcohol and citric acids nibbling my most sensitive skin. I eat a cracker, the first of many. Tonight will be a good night indeed.

Author's Note: In this last picture, you will notice that I am eschewing the newer balls-in method for the more traditional balls-out. It is my belief that cockdipping and sackdipping are two entirely different methods of enjoying wine, and need not be combined. Furthermore, I find that one is best able to concentrate on the wine's relationship with one's wang, especially with reds, when one's schlong has one's full attention.

Thank you for your time.

Wine Connoisseur 13/02/12(Tue)17:53 No. 2275

real men dip in Jim Beam

Wine Connoisseur 13/03/01(Fri)18:25 No. 2281

gotta say wine man, that was really well written. i work at a wine bar and youve inspired me now

Wine Connoisseur 12/11/01(Thu)16:49 No. 2243 [Reply] Locked

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2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Pee+Know+Nwahh 12/11/16(Fri)05:55 No. 2251

Champagne glass, yes.
Looks suspiciously still.
Given its obvious commercial origins I would say coloured water.


Wine Connoisseur 12/12/01(Sat)09:14 No. 2258

I can fap to this.

Wine Connoisseur 13/01/10(Thu)22:32 No. 2267


You, sir, disgust me.

Wine Connoisseur 11/03/15(Tue)18:55 No. 1656 [Reply]

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What do the gentlemen of /v/ think of box wine?

12 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
Doxy 12/07/16(Mon)09:51 No. 2211

Box wine is akin to Mike Tyson. Given a chance it will gladly fuck you up, nobody likes it that much. No true patron of the arts would admit to partaking in such an abomination. Moreover, op, your crabs have herpes. Ergo, i deem you unworthy of continued life for speaking of such a hideous creation.

Pee+Know+Nwahh 12/11/16(Fri)05:59 No. 2253

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This is what i think of such tripe.

Stork+ 12/11/16(Fri)06:32 No. 2254

I disagree with your complaint on the milk, good sir! Bagged milk is delicious, and remains in similar quality depending on the manufacturer.

However, bagged wine is tripe. Inedible tripe.

Ask a Winemaker anything noko 12/10/12(Fri)05:12 No. 2237 [Reply]

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So I'm a finally a real Winemaker in Central Otago. When telling the winery staff to do 'dips' (where you measure the headspace between the wine and top of the tank)
or 'taste dips' (where you drop a suspiciously phallic rod through the red fermenting cap to get some juice, usually for testing purposes) I giggle like a bitch. People are getting suspicious.
I always giggle.

Wine Connoisseur 12/10/14(Sun)21:19 No. 2238

I need a good Bordeaux wine. Tips?

Pee+Know+Nwahh 12/11/16(Fri)05:56 No. 2252

Actually can't dude.
I steer clear of that stuff as it messes with my palate.

Anything Gran Crux.
Go nuts.

advice !NinTendO.c 12/09/21(Fri)09:57 No. 2228 [Reply]

File 13482142224.png - (17.21KB , 400x249 , Johnnie_Walker_logo.png )

Gents, the other day I had been feeling most curious; wanting to try a new taste, I had decided to pop open an old Gin bottle which I had found days prior inside my study; poured the beverage into a glass and dipped as would be my natural routine.

Now, the problem that had arose is that I do not know whether or not it is common for a lingering stinging and itching pain to occur.

How many of you fine blokes ever dipped in Gin, and what has been your experience like?

Wine Connoisseur 12/11/12(Mon)15:44 No. 2248

you're just plain old disgusting
a disgrace to the traditions of /v/
I hope you are banned forever

Wine Connoisseur 12/07/12(Thu)07:14 No. 2208 [Reply]

File 134207007850.png - (49.72KB , 168x250 , michigan-cherry-wine.png )

Does anyone make a better cherry wine? No, seriously, is there anyone?

Wine Connoisseur 12/08/12(Sun)12:44 No. 2219

Check out Carrick from Central Otago (New Zealand)

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