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/v/ - The Vineyard
This board is dedicated to the fine art of sticking your penis into a nice wine. Rules:

1. Love your wine as you would love your woman.
2. Please, no trolling, just discussion of some of the finer things in life.
3. Cheese is an acceptable topic of discussion. After all, what goes with wine if not cheese?
4. No champagne.

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Wine Connoisseur 12/01/14(Sat)08:41 No. 2120 [Reply]

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Fuck the police.
Imma be dipping my dick into this Champagne tonight, and you motherfuckers can't do a thing to stop me.
Fuck you and your prohibition on Champagne. I don't need the man and his rules.


1 post omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 12/02/09(Thu)13:19 No. 2131

I wonder if our benevolent Moderator or Administrator deliberately chose to use the word "LOSE" over "LOOSE", perhaps aware of the humorous double meaning of their chosen word.

Wine Connoisseur 12/02/10(Fri)18:29 No. 2133

Truly I believe in this circumstance that either word is appropriate.

anonymous 12/02/17(Fri)01:52 No. 2134

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a) No champagne.
b) Don't fuck the police. Seduce them. Pour them a bottle of 2009 Otago Pinot Noir and make love to them. Gently.

The Youth Of Today Wine Connoisseur 12/01/16(Mon)17:22 No. 2123 [Reply]

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I have been perusing this fine board and have noticed a disturbing confounding of the arts of enjoying cheese.

It might be due to my upbringing, being as it was in the colonies of the southern ocean, that I have not encountered this new ... I shall have to call it a fad for that's what it is, of dipping into the cheese.

Some gentlemen, those that tend to congregate in the darkest and smokiest of panelled chans, even mention a bizzarre and frankly off-putting practise of *eating* the cheese.

Back where I'm from, every man of standing is still enjoying stuffing a Colby, Brie, Gouda or even a Mature Cheddar into their rectum and then enjoying a fine dip into a Sav, (or maybe a Merlot for the adventuring set.)

We might not be up to date on the very latest "fashion" but I can tell you that the traditions haven't been abandoned due to distance, nor any tardiness of communication, nor slighting of honor. We men of the empire haven't once grown "bored" of our companions - for we choose them wisely, with utmost care and patience, so that we may then stuff them slowly or quickly and dip them deeply or gently, and never a day passes that we come to regret our choice and have our desires wander into strange barbarisms.

I hereby ask all the good men present today to challenge their peers to cast their minds back to the last time they really enjoyed a good stuffing and see if perhaps with more commitment to the art of selection, they might enjoy such times til the end of their days.

I leave you with these thoughts for I have regailed at length, and no doubt those gentlemen amongst us who still know the joys of the original arts are most likely yearning for a quick dip, and a stuff, right now.

Enjoy, gentlemen.
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

savvy 12/02/07(Tue)03:48 No. 2128

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Kiwi or Aussie?

anonymous 12/02/08(Wed)11:22 No. 2130

Gouda is for retards. Edam FTW

Wine Connoisseur 11/07/30(Sat)18:14 No. 2012 [Reply]

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It has recently come to my attention that this gentleman's board has been overrun with brutish homosexuals, who would much rather use cheap or otherwise inferior beverages, such as Larger, Scotch or even Whiskey. Some of whom are so barbaric they would even ingest these liquors!

While I understand that this is a life choice that they have every right to, however we here on this exuberant and tasteful board, will not stand for any homo-eroticism.

I find myself in perhaps one of the most awkward positions, however I must request these brutes vacate this board, and all surrounding vicinities, immediately, as we do not wish to be in your company.

Clearly we are of different worlds, however this board is not dedicated to such vulgar acts as those of which you seek to discuss or even share images of.

Gentlemen who still remain, despite the horrid blasphemies we have witnessed at the hands of these insufferably vulgar interlopers, can I interest you in a meaningful discussion?

3 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Savvy 11/11/08(Tue)02:05 No. 2077

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Allan Scott Late Harvest Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc.

Well balanced with archetypal Sauvignon blanc acidity, notes of bush honey and nectar with a firm backbone of passionflowers and citris.

Truly delectable.

Wine Connoisseur 11/11/15(Tue)01:46 No. 2085

Glenfiddich is far superior to any wine. Lager not so much, though a good copper or brown ale is quite nice. I must say, however, that if I'm going to partake in something bubbly, I would prefer to simply find a good fine champagne. Tott's is quite nice, or Moet if I'm in a rough neighborhood will do. Wine is for French children.

Wine Connoisseur 11/12/29(Thu)01:00 No. 2115

i question the supposed inferiority of whiskey. granted, it does create a much stronger stinging sensation than wine when dipping, but even so

Intoxicated by Dipping? Wine Connoisseur 11/06/11(Sat)15:28 No. 1819 [Reply]

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Will male genitalia absorb the alcohol quickly enough for intoxication? I've partially enjoyed alcoholic drinks, but losing my sense of taste completely ruins the experience. The problem could simply be that I have never tasted wine. I have just never been able to justify the cost for something so temporary.

4 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 11/11/15(Tue)22:58 No. 2088

Will you gentlemen stop encouraging such plunging and decadent ventures? This kind of relentless and primitive hedonism should not characterize a fellowhood of our taste and ethos. One might argue that our primary pursuit must always be our easthetic accomplishment and even though I do not necessarily agree with such idealistic extremes it's my dudy as a gentleman to object to such promiscuous activities.

Wine Connoisseur 11/12/02(Fri)05:09 No. 2095


I submit to you that you are taking the idea of allowing your lady to enter you instead of vice-versa as a challenge to your masculinity. In today's free-thinking society, turnabout, as they say, is fair play. It is no longer undignified in the modern era for a gentleman to permit his lover to take a more equal role in the affairs of passion.

Wine Connoisseur 12/01/17(Tue)03:43 No. 2124

Wait you're saying that in today's culture pegging is okay? I don't know where you come from, but I'm pretty sure that's still considered "gay as fuck" pretty much everywhere.

Wine Connoisseur 11/11/15(Tue)04:11 No. 2086 [Reply]

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Good day Gentlemen.
Today, I had my first experience of dipping my member into a wine. Having seen you fellows do it, I thought that I should perhaps experience the wonders of submerging my meat into a wonderfully full-bodied red wine.

Like any true connoisiseur I began by smelling this glorious beverage. I picked up subtle hints of vanilla, aswell as a rather spicey aroma which I could not quite place a finger on and name. Regardlesz of this, I decided that this 2004 Der Vulture was worth plobbing my sausage into.

And I say, t'was an experience I shan't forget in a hurry. Cheerio.

Wine Connoisseur 11/11/17(Thu)23:46 No. 2091

I'm glad you enjoyed it - and I wish you many happy returns!

Viticulture Savvy 11/10/26(Wed)15:03 No. 2071 [Reply]

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Sup /v/
Got my viticulture exam tomorrow and freaking out a little. Please send encouragement and comradere upon the finish, whence i shall dip in a delicious 2007 Central Otago Pinot Noir.

Irrigtion in vineyards Savvy 11/10/26(Wed)07:55 No. 2070 [Reply]

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RDI is industry talk for Regulated Deficit Irrigation. This is where you irrigate the vines (a practice disallowed in some old world wine countries) below its daily 'requirement', in order to achieve increased ripeness of berries and vigour control. Usually (depending on rainfall) this can be anywhere between the RP and PWP levels in the soil.

Wine Connoisseur 11/08/13(Sat)11:39 No. 2020 [Reply]

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How does one obtain wine when underage and in the USA?

>this is a PORN board, fuck you.

11 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 11/10/10(Mon)07:05 No. 2062



Sealand ID card complies with Maine law, works every time!*

*check your local laws first

Wine Connoisseur 11/10/22(Sat)15:15 No. 2067

This board should be moved out of the porn section

Wine Connoisseur 11/10/26(Wed)00:06 No. 2069

yeah, and moved to "le erotica" or something like this

Wine Connoisseur 11/08/18(Thu)22:56 No. 2031 [Reply]

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Dom. Romane Conti 1997

Wine Connoisseur 11/09/13(Tue)05:05 No. 2051

Sangre De Cristo, a young wine perfect for regular days.

Wine Connoisseur 11/10/13(Thu)01:10 No. 2063

Champagne 1925

Wine Connoisseur 11/09/26(Mon)02:10 No. 2057 [Reply]

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Oktoberfest soon. Are you ready?

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