/v/ - The Vineyard

Wine Connoisseur 12/12/26(Wed)11:15 No. 2261

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>So I come back to this board almost three years later to find it in a terrible state of affairs. My initial foray into dipping remains, but the pictorial evidence seems to have vanished. So, friends, as I repost this classic /v/ineyard story, join me in remembering a journey of discovery that took place in February of 2010 and has shaped my cultural and social life ever since.

I have procured this lovely snack, but I find myself in need of a good wine. With a fully-stocked wine rack, courtesy of mother and father, I feel that I shall not go wanting. The question is, which wine to choose?

Join me on a journey of discovery, friends.

Wine Connoisseur 12/12/26(Wed)11:20 No. 2262

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Spoiled for choice, I reach for the first bottle that strikes my eye. It is a 2008 Ménage á Trois, from the Folie á Deux Wineries of Napa Valley. A simple red, it is neither grossly rich nor insultingly inexpensive. It will do for my purposes.

A word about the color: the characteristic red hue seems much deeper and fuller-bodied, as if it were absorbing the light around it. I anticipate this fullness translating into the taste.

Wine Connoisseur 12/12/26(Wed)11:20 No. 2263

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Uncorked, the wine immediately assails me with the heady scents of various fruits (do I detect plum? Blackberry?) The Ménage Red's signature blend of three variations of grape (Zinfandel from Amador, and Cabernet Sauvignon and Cabernet Franc from Napa) is blatantly clear in its potpourri of aromas. Swirling it beneath my nose brings out more subtle tones of citric acidity - perhaps cherry? My mouth waters in anticipation. This will be a fine night indeed. I unzip.

Wine Connoisseur 12/12/26(Wed)11:21 No. 2264

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The first dip goes well. My member floats daintily on the surface of the wine, a testament to the heavy viscosity that I noticed earlier (such a beautiful deep red color). This will be a heavy wine to drink, almost like a fortified port, but still light on the tastebuds.

At just below room temperature, the wine is pleasantly cool. Some would have their reds at a mean temperature of 77 to 80 degrees Fahrenheit. Personally, I prefer them just a bit more refreshing to the tongue, throat and penis, especially on a hot day.

Wine Connoisseur 12/12/26(Wed)11:21 No. 2265

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Here more than ever the dusky, dark red hue of the wine is most visible - notice that the head of my dongus is almost entirely obscured. I rest for a moment, savoring the sensation of the ethyl alcohol and citric acids nibbling my most sensitive skin. I eat a cracker, the first of many. Tonight will be a good night indeed.

Author's Note: In this last picture, you will notice that I am eschewing the newer balls-in method for the more traditional balls-out. It is my belief that cockdipping and sackdipping are two entirely different methods of enjoying wine, and need not be combined. Furthermore, I find that one is best able to concentrate on the wine's relationship with one's wang, especially with reds, when one's schlong has one's full attention.

Thank you for your time.

Wine Connoisseur 13/02/12(Tue)17:53 No. 2275

real men dip in Jim Beam

Wine Connoisseur 13/03/01(Fri)18:25 No. 2281

gotta say wine man, that was really well written. i work at a wine bar and youve inspired me now

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