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Critique? Hipster Slut 14/09/30(Tue)20:56 No. 17320
17320

File 141210340772.jpg - (31.55KB , 300x300 , img-thing.jpg )

Hi /lit/, not too sure if this is the right place to post but would any of you with a good grasp on literature critique my personal statement for university? I'm studying programming, web development or application development so it's meant to cover all of those bases. I already had to butcher it somewhat because of the character limit. Thanks for taking the time if you do :)




Since I was a child technology has made such great leaps in advances, and I had always watched on in wonder until I saw the computer workshop that my Uncle worked on in his spare time when I was 10. He showed me that there was careful work, design and planning behind every example of technology I used that I hadn't even consider beforehand, and from right then I wanted to follow that same path. My love of technology has been encompassed in many aspects of my life, from playing computer games, getting my first PC and learning how to code, then finding a love of web design. I have always been a keen problem solver with a creative mind, and seeing his ability to sculpt and modify sophisticated programs just from manipulating lines of code alone got me hooked on the subject. As a budding programmer and designer, I want to be able to help mould the future of how we interact with the ever growing immersion of technology. I have always believed that cooperation is one of our most valuable assets, and would like to eventually be part of a small creative team of specialists developing on all platforms.

After High school, I went on to college where I took a BTEC in IT, and then went on to complete an extended diploma in graphic design, furthering my skills in IT, Web Development and also developing my creativity at the same time, also gaining experience with different operating systems. At the time I was interested in visual kinds of coding, and became a competent HTML user, and eventually was exposed to various forms of Javascript, SQL and other sophisticated programming languages. I also found an outlet for my creativity and particularly enjoyed designing GUI's, photography and illustration. During my time at college, I began working as an assistant in a retail chain selling video games. During my time there I developed a greater understanding of marketing, quantitative and research. Afterwards, I moved onto medical administration, where I played an interdependent role with various duties.

Outside of my work life, I have continued creating websites for a hobby and sometimes even a profit, and continue to read up on the subject to keep in touch with current trends and advances. I'm an enthusiast computer builder, and have built many of my own rigs and also some for friends and clients made through a small personal business I ran during my time at the NHS, offering advice, securing and utilising parts and offering entry level website pages for small business start ups. I also have a few side hobbies developing mods for particular video games involving hex editing or creating and modifying code in Python. I'm an avid reader, and have been particularly drawn to books on productivity, sociology and programming recently.

It has only been in my recent years where I realised the importance of continued learning and being willing to be open to advances, new techniques and a general wider range of knowledge. This lead me to take a few online courses during a short period of unemployment in 2014, including retaking Maths due to it's important roles in technology, Programming Mobile Applications for Android Handheld Systems through Coursera and Web Science through Futurelearn. It had been a difficult year, but by taking advantage of the possibilities before me, I realised that I had reached a point in my life where I never did the things I wanted to do out of fear of failing, but on reflection I’ve come to the conclusion that out of practicality we should strive to do the things we love, because we can just as easily fail at doing the things we don’t love. I want to be able to apply myself, and be able to provide the things I love to people who would love them too. I feel inspired and determined to be able to share my enthusiasm with a team who want to achieve the same goals, and to be able to innovate and directly shape the future of technology and how we can experience it.


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Anonymous 14/10/01(Wed)23:04 No. 17322

>Since I was a child technology has made such great leaps in advances, and I had always watched on in wonder

faggotry

>After High school

if you fucking capitalise one more non proper noun i will cut you

>other sophisticated programming languages

SQL, so fucking sophisticated

>due to it's important

did you have ANY ADULTS proofread your goddamn thing because if you did they're fucking retarded

> It had been a difficult year, but by taking advantage of the possibilities before me, I realised that I had reached a point in my life where I never did the things I wanted to do out of fear of failing, but on reflection I’ve come to the conclusion that out of practicality we should strive to do the things we love, because we can just as easily fail at doing the things we don’t love.

Epic faggotry. Plus it's a run-on.

Overall, there's no hook. "I took a bunch of courses and they were really great and I can do alphabet soup."


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Hipster Slut 14/10/02(Thu)00:50 No. 17323

>>17322

Keeping in mind I had to shorten my original write up by about 1800 or so characters, I'll most likely have to use this as a base to write it from scratch. I think the shortening has made it somewhat retarded in places.

Thanks for checking though, appreciate it!


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Hipster Slut 14/11/13(Thu)17:15 No. 17356

>>17323
>and other sophisticated programming languages
>that aren't worth mentioning (but HTML totally is).

Seriously?

Your writing is a clusterfuck of unnecessary prepositions and aux verbs. You said you already butchered it, well what the fuck did you cut out because it's still crammed to the brim with filler. Find someone over the age of 25 who isn't a total dumbass to proofread it for you.



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