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/v/ - The Vineyard
This board is dedicated to the fine art of sticking your penis into a nice wine. Rules:

1. Love your wine as you would love your woman.
2. Please, no trolling, just discussion of some of the finer things in life.
3. Cheese is an acceptable topic of discussion. After all, what goes with wine if not cheese?
4. No champagne.

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  • Currently 429 unique user posts. View catalog

  • Blotter updated: 2018-08-24 Show/Hide Show All

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Wine Connoisseur 10/02/25(Thu)14:42 No. 1034 [Reply]

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Okay well I personally think I'm getting trolled so bad here on /v/ that I'm actually going to stick my dick in a cup of red wine to see what is so freaking good.

Will post what happens in a few minutes.

Sorry about the pic its all I had :)

36 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 10/08/16(Mon)03:53 No. 1268

It's a pretty nice phenomenon. I don't know why you'd doubt the veracity of the thing.

Wine Connoisseur 10/08/16(Mon)13:05 No. 1269

I'm submissive so I let my wine do the fucking

Wine Connoisseur 11/05/30(Mon)03:32 No. 1803

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Dipping is a fine pleasure of mine as well hurr durr

Wine Connoisseur 10/07/17(Sat)20:57 No. 1196 [Reply]

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Hello, gentlemen. I am attending UC Davis in the fall to major in enology - yes, that is correct; I am actually majoring in sticking my penis into fine wines. How does that make you feel?

Pic related, my face when I got into the ag school at Davis.

2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 11/05/16(Mon)08:04 No. 1782

I bike over your workshop. Deal with it.

Wine Connoisseur 11/05/18(Wed)06:13 No. 1785

Please excuse my ignorance, I admire and congratulate your achievements. I have to ask is UC Davis as out in the sticks as I have heard? I was given the impression that it is just a small college in the middle of farm land. I hope you can enlighten me.

oh fack 11/05/24(Tue)15:46 No. 1799

UC Davis fag here. Cool major, bro. Yea, we have cows and shit but it's hardly "out in the sticks." It's about 10 miles away from Sacramento, the capital city of California, and about 60 miles from San Francisco. It's a college town with a large bicycling community, lots of families... and drunk ass uni students, lol.

I took an intro to winemaking class two years ago... was pretty interesting.

Wine Connoisseur 11/05/15(Sun)23:02 No. 1781 [Reply]

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Why is this board listed under "Porn", if it's all classy n' shit?

Wine Connoisseur 11/05/16(Mon)13:12 No. 1783

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>B/c you touch yourself at night

Wine Connoisseur 11/05/24(Tue)05:27 No. 1798

Because it is devoted to the use of one's erogenous areas in the act of appreciating wine. While this is more of a broadly sensual practice than a strictly sexual one, discussion of the subject is fairly consistently not safe for work.

Of course, the question itself incorrectly assumes that pornography cannot be classy.

Wine Connoisseur 11/02/26(Sat)07:51 No. 1622 [Reply]

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Vodka, a centimeter of honey int he glass, some cinnamon, ground cloves, nutmeg.

If you want a bit more of an experience grind up some haawiian babywoodro seeds.. Take this, it's the Dr. orders. Do it!

9 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 11/05/12(Thu)06:17 No. 1773

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At the very least get some real potato vodka

Wine Connoisseur 11/05/22(Sun)07:50 No. 1787

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This'll burn the crabs RIGHT OFF

Wine Connoisseur 11/05/22(Sun)10:27 No. 1789

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my new favorite vodka is actually American, and not only that, but Texan... i know right? its called Tito's, and it is awesome! hand crafted in pot stills and all.

Wine Connoisseur 10/08/15(Sun)22:36 No. 1267 [Reply]

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This is what I stick my dick in.

15 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
mr blister 11/04/18(Mon)22:26 No. 1744

i enjoy the malbec. it's fuckin cheap here

Wine Connoisseur 11/05/10(Tue)10:47 No. 1766

>>stick my dick in.
Why my dear fellow, why such perversity and base language?
When you make sweet lovings upon your wife, do you merely stick your dick in?

Then a poor lover you must make. I tip my hat to you and bid you good day, sir.

Wine Connoisseur 11/05/13(Fri)17:48 No. 1777

I saw a bottle of that on my vacation to Malta, bought a bottle just for curiosity's sake.
Turns out its pretty good.

Wine Connoisseur 11/02/10(Thu)10:06 No. 1540 [Reply]

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Are there any other poor folks who dip with bumwine? Sometimes the money is just too tight when you get those "certain cravings" you know?

I'm not ashamed in the slightest.

5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 11/03/01(Tue)16:23 No. 1631

I couldn’t even imagine the unpleasantness that would follow if I plunged my Penis into a lightly sparkled Prosecco never the less a full fledged sparkling or Champ..., but enough of the gutter talk already. Anyone try any good Pinot Noirs? I tried a wonderful New Zealand one the other day; Tuatara Bay. Light oak and tannins, and a nice zest of acidity. I definitely recommend it!

Wine Connoisseur 11/03/16(Wed)01:25 No. 1659

Pinot? I don't swing that way. And black, to boot. You should be ashamed.

Wine Connoisseur 11/05/12(Thu)06:46 No. 1775


I have heard from men who have had the misfortune of dipping in a sparkling wine (champagne or otherwise) and sadly I have tried it myself, mankind's curiosity is both a gift and a curse.

I can assure you that any liquid with carbonation while at first novel and interesting, quickly turns unpleasant.

Wine Connoisseur 11/05/09(Mon)04:17 No. 1763 [Reply]

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I just fucked the shit out of this glass of wine. First I treated it to a movie, did the foreplay shit, and finally fucked it. Shit was SO CASH!

Pic related.
U jelly?

Wine Connoisseur 11/05/09(Mon)04:26 No. 1764

>fucked the shit out of
>foreplay shit
You are a classless scrot, vacate the vineyard.

Wine Connoisseur 11/05/10(Tue)11:03 No. 1768

Why it certainly is about time someone said something about these rapscallions. Brigands, all of them these days.

Wine Connoisseur 11/05/11(Wed)02:18 No. 1770

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The lower class is truly a bore.

Wine Connoisseur 11/03/23(Wed)22:31 No. 1690 [Reply]

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I gave up alcohol, so now I dip my cock in grape juice.

Pic related.

4 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 11/04/19(Tue)19:15 No. 1745


Wine Connoisseur 11/05/09(Mon)20:54 No. 1765


This man advocates the truth.

Wine Connoisseur 11/05/10(Tue)11:06 No. 1769


Hmm, someone is SAME DIPPING.

Shit, if this is gonna be that kind of party, Wine Connoisseur 11/04/20(Wed)02:12 No. 1746 [Reply]

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I'm gonna stick my dick in the mash potatoes!!

Wine Connoisseur 11/04/20(Wed)07:25 No. 1747

You surely are a desperate, fellow. It's been many a moon since my last love, though I have never been at a low enough state to resort to such things! Say what you might about it, but I would sooner love, dare I say it... Champagne.

Wine Connoisseur 11/04/21(Thu)13:20 No. 1748

i get it. k

Wine Connoisseur 11/04/30(Sat)00:34 No. 1754

heh heh ;D

GENTS! Wine Connoisseur 11/04/26(Tue)01:29 No. 1751 [Reply]

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I broke my favorite wine opener / catheter the other day and I can't seem to find any similar replacements. It has opened every wine bottle perfectly for me for almost 10 years, and has spelunked through my urethra countless times.

Any of you fine gentlemen know where I can find one just like this? I'd like to avoid these horrible lever-based ones that the hordes of filthy commoners use: http://i.imgur.com/hijTv.jpg

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