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"It's okay, all goblins are evil." Anonymoose 19/08/13(Tue)00:21 No. 131564

File 156564849995.jpg - (193.07KB , 900x675 , guts_rage_by_syntaxerror88.jpg )

Buckle up folks. This is a story I've been wanting to tell other people, but only shared within my friend groups. Kept it pretty quiet, aside from that.

>Be me

>Have several years of experience in roleplaying.

>Gone through the phases: chaotic stupid rogues, 'funny' characters, being *the* That Guy of Those Guys, all that jazz.

>Getting into another 5e game.

>Not really my favorite, the streamlining made it pretty boring since I grew up on 3.5 and fell in love with the complexity and options.

>Still jacked up to make a new character.

>End up making a grizzled mercenary/war veteran, dishonorably discharged from the Neverwinter ranks, a fighter naturally.

>"I'm really god damn sick a' fightin' other peoples battles, watchin' people die over pissing matches for land."

>Be fucking stoked.

>Several sessions later, the party is in the midst of an almost abandoned citadel.

>Sent to clear out goblins by the kobolds living in the ruins.


>Party ends up charging into a wide room with goblins and hobgoblins flooding the area with alchemist fire vials, splintmail and longswords.


>One near TPK later, only one hobgoblin shaman remain, a few goblins lackeys remain, all of whom surrender pretty quickly, in Common no less.

>My fighter backs off. Not worth fighting anything that won't fight back.

>War Priest of STRONMAUS, CG, starts *executing* all of the goblins, despite the fighter shouting for him to stop.

>Shaman breaks down into tears, begging for the killing to stop, that they were forced to be here by the Chieftain we'd already killed.

>My fighter can't even begin to phrase the growing horror that not only were the goblinoids of this world capable of feeling, but that he also aided a killer into slaughtering innocent people just trying to survive.

>All. Over. Again.

>Fighter's grudge festers.

>Ends up despising the war priest who doesn't even seem to follow his god's domain of joy and benevolence.

>War Priest continues to show complete and utter disregard for the lives of clearly sentient, emotional beings, going so far as to make blood angels out of the viscera of his foes.

>The last straw is struck at the end of the first floor.

>Between the last incident up to then, the cleric and the war priest both tried to kill the sweet kobold that had been helping us this whole time after the war priest *blatantly* planned to kill the kobold queen for a young dragon who'd been nursing an injury.

>Fighter had been planning on rallying whatever goblins remained in the depths of the citadel, fleeing to the kobolds, and making a last stand against the party.

>Up to this point, the party had given no fucks about what the war priest did aside from the fighter.

>The fighter's not taking any chances, but gets knocked out by the party's new necromancer before he can slip away to enact his scheme.


>In the last room in of the first floor, however, they open a door find a large pit...and something else in the dim lighting.

>An emaciated, helpless child.

>An emaciated, *hobgoblin* child.

>My fighter immediately barks out at the war priest to not fucking touch nor harm the child.

>War Priest decides the best course of action is to strike the child down with a blow to the head, using a *warhammer*.

>Child goes down instantly.

>MFW when he fucking pulls this murderhobo bullshit again.

>Fighter's face when he finally snaps.

>Fighter immediately action surges the war priest with a greatsword.

>Both hits land.

>War priest is down instantly and sent tumbling into the pit where he bleeds out and dies.

>Fighter nat 20's a medicine check to stabilize the child.

>Fighter is now a dad with a reason to keep on living and fighting beyond the thrills, and his sense of justice is firmly cemented by the atrocities committed by the war priest.


To clarify, I didn't hate the player, but I did happen to disagree with the way they roleplayed their character, and the way the GM handled the fallout. Regardless, I actually felt pretty bad about cutting their session short. It seemed unavoidable to me, given their increasingly violent tendencies, but not being to play sucks, and at least I have a hobgoblin child to look forward to raising...assuming I stick around.

Something shtinks 19/08/19(Mon)13:03 No. 131573

Easy to feel simpathy for these parasytes when they crie and beg for help yet would backstab you instantly if given the chance and never even consider sparing your life if the situation where flipped.

Anonymous 19/08/19(Mon)20:17 No. 131574

fuck OP good job.

Anonymous 20/10/16(Fri)01:38 No. 131898

Good work OP. Proud of you.

Anonymous 23/05/06(Sat)04:37 No. 132255

And thus GOBLIN SLAYER is born to destroy the GOBLIN'S CROWN.

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