/x/ - Paranormal & Conspiracy

May someone grant my wish please? Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/02(Thu)17:47 No. 21364

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Pics mostly unrelated I just grabbed them from a image search
May someone please grant my wish or teach me how to have it granted and show me that magic is real and atheism+agnosticism is fake?

I’d like to play a game of soccer, volleyball or tennis against an attractive woman (at least 19 and no older then 27, a bmi of at least 18 and no more than 25, no glasses, etc) who’s my friend or girlfriend or wife (I’m single atm with basically no female friends) .
I want this 1v1 game to be a bet between me and her. Loser must wash the winners car in just a bikini and maybe some sandals (I currently have no car and no bikini obviously lol).

I’d prefer to win and get the wash but if you want to leave it up to chance then that’s fine too.
I’d like to play the game of volleyball as soon as possible and practicable.
If I had more money I could buy a car, nicer clothes, get some surgeries, etc to increase my chances.

Any ideas what to do?
Please no /adv/ice advice. I’d like miracles or advice on miracles not a Jordan Peterson lecture please.

op !!N0BJSzZwSv 23/03/02(Thu)17:59 No. 21365

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I’ll say a bit about myself
I’m in my early twenties
USA
White
A non trans straight male
Average( a true 6/10 )looking atm with plenty of room to improve
I didn’t take any covid vaccines

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/02(Thu)23:51 No. 21366

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>>21364
>>21365

Had to do a quick calculation to check i'm on/x/

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/03(Fri)01:01 No. 21367

>>21366
I lost my trip I deleted it after post nut clarity

I want this though please

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/03(Fri)21:22 No. 21368

>>21367

Hmmm...

Do have you got your tin foil hat on properly.
Well ok then.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/03(Fri)21:23 No. 21369

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>>21368

forgot pick, see what can happen when all your focuse is on your ti foil hat

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/04(Sat)02:52 No. 21370

>>21369
Please help me!!

Millionaire = me ty

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/05(Sun)03:37 No. 21372

>>21364
Wishes are granted by gods but only after you give yourself extreme pain by sacrificing something you love.
I can make you a millionaire by giving you value which you can exchange for money accordingly.
I currently have eternal life with same method and as you know, life is worth more than money.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/05(Sun)18:14 No. 21373

>>21372
I would like to be given value please.

You may have my mother and father.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/06(Mon)16:30 No. 21374

>>21372
I’ll
Also give up pornography from now on.

One day I’d like to get nudes from a gf though

If I accidentally see it at a movie theater or something don’t fault me for that either

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/06(Mon)17:27 No. 21375

>>21374
Good idea to give up porn

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/07(Tue)16:32 No. 21376

>>21374

Darn, already given porn, I don't think GF piks count if you really in it for the long haul. Although with no computer being safe. Well, "a gentleman prefers.... Polaroids", as the album title goes.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/08(Wed)22:23 No. 21378

>>21376
May you please grant my wish?
I’d prefer to win but you could make me lose if you want

I just really love swimsuit car washes

Wavegod 23/03/09(Thu)01:41 No. 21382

>>21373
Choose between football, singing, dancing and farming.
I can program skills into you with a computer but you'll have to sign a document saying you'll pay me later.
With farming, I can increase any plant or animal's yield, increase their growth and make them disease resistant.

Wavegod 23/03/09(Thu)01:45 No. 21383

>>21378
If you want to live eternally on Earth and not taste death, serve me for seven years and I might consider making you an immortal like myself. I use a computer to do that too.
You'll have to believe in God and practice the ten commandments though.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/09(Thu)20:01 No. 21385

>>21383
I just want to make op bet.
Money would help me with that

We call it soccer :)

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/09(Thu)22:40 No. 21388

>>21383
Does Jainism or Buddhism count?

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/14(Tue)02:18 No. 21394

>>21388
I really want to be a millionaire.
I’ll donate of it

Billions of animals tortured to death in factory farms…. I gotta reduce it

Wavegod 23/03/15(Wed)02:09 No. 21396

>>21385
Money is made by exchanging something of value either a skill or object. Money is a form of accounting, I wonder why any intelligent being will think money is more important than the skill or object of value.
If you had money and there's no food, will you eat money? If you had money and there's no player exchanging their skill for it, would you be entertained? If you don't have any of value to exchange then you should consider becoming a thief like the devil. The devil never has anything to exchange for money so he tricks, steals or kills for it. So me being able to create value with a computer means I always have something of value to exchange.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/15(Wed)13:01 No. 21397

>>21394

>Billions of animals tortured to death in factory farms…. I gotta reduce it

>I really want to be a millionaire

Hmm, where do I start?
fudge it, that ain't how it works kid, hate to break it to you
Also don't ever donate that kind of money, if you ever win a lottery.
You have do it your self.

otherwise have good day anon

Wavegod 23/03/15(Wed)19:52 No. 21398

>>21397
If they say evil rules the world, one just has to do more evil to the evil that thinks it rules the world to rule the world... If good rules the world, one just has to do more good to the good people that rule the world to rule the world.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/18(Sat)21:01 No. 21402

I want to be a millionaire in one month

Wavegod 23/03/24(Fri)15:30 No. 21404

>>21402
I have a product that can cure anyone of any disease and never fall sick again till they die. How much do you think such a formula is worth?
I have a product that can create footballers like cr7, messi and others like them within a month. How much do you think a football club will pay for such a formula?
I can give you millions but I can easily make you a millionaire with value based methods.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/28(Tue)03:17 No. 21406

>>21404
I really want to be a millionaire.

Those formulas are worth hundreds of billions assuming they can be mass produced.
Please give me the formula(s) and/or millions of dollars.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/28(Tue)03:19 No. 21407

>>21404
Can you make me a pro athlete(MMA fighter) please and have no diseases in one month for the rest of my life please?

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/03/28(Tue)03:31 No. 21408

>>21404
Also
Does this disease cure and never come back formula work on non human animals?
Many animal like chickens have been selectively breed and have health issues and I would like them to suffer less.
I’d also like to see things like tay sachs disappear.

Can you cure malnutrition and make it never come back for the hundreds of millions of human beings?

Wavegod 23/04/19(Wed)23:19 No. 21426

>>21407
Yes I can make you a fighter. You'll have to pay at least $5,000 for it.

Wavegod 23/04/19(Wed)23:21 No. 21427

>>21408
If you undergo my good health product, you'll never fall sick again and it works for animals and plants too.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/04/24(Mon)23:02 No. 21432

>>21427
>>21426
I’d love to but I don’t have enough money. May I have a free sample instead?

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/05/18(Thu)13:58 No. 21443

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>>21364
how about "NO"?

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