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/x/ - Paranormal & Conspiracy
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We are in the process of fixing long-standing bugs with the thread reader. This will probably cause more bugs for a short period of time. Buckle up.

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WebM is now available sitewide! Please check this thread for more info.

SpongeBob's Depression Anonymous 23/03/08(Wed)22:03 No. 21377 [Reply]

File 167830939467.jpg - (79.28KB , 1443x1080 , SpongeBob's_Depression.jpg )

The episode started pretty normally at first. SpongeBob is watching TV when Patrick knocks on the door. SpongeBob says for him to come in, and Patrick shows him the game "Eels and Escalators." At this moment, I thought that the episode took place before the episode "Sailor Mouth," because here, Patrick was introducing the game for the first time.

SpongeBob finds the game cool and is excited to play it with Patrick. However, before they start playing the game, Patrick tells SpongeBob about the rules of the game first. SpongeBob then understands and they start playing the game. Patrick keeps moving up escalators while SpongeBob gets sent down the eels. After losing the game, SpongeBob gets a bit sad but he later gets ok with it and tries again, thinking he was going to win this time. This is where things get worse.

After many attempts of trying to win and just losing in the end, SpongeBob loses his cool, goes out of character and goes on a crazy rampage, which also involved assaulting Patrick and going into Bikini Bottom causing a ruckus (you may have not heard of this word before but it means causing disturbance or commotion). Eventually, he was caught by the police and was arrested for assault and public disturbance.

SpongeBob, while on jail, says:

"Stupid SpongeBob, why did you do that? I don't even know why you had to do that... Maybe if Patrick didn't bring up that stupid game, this wouldn't have happened! Hopefully I won't be in here for too long. Maybe I'll get bailed out, and go on about my day and apologize to Patrick for my terrible actions. I don't think I'll be here for that long."

A time card saying "1 Day Later..." shows up on the screen for 2 seconds. The time cards on this episode were not spoken by the French Narrator this time. It cuts back to SpongeBob in jail. He says:

"I've been here for one day and nothing has happened. Okay, I think I have learned my lesson here. Now let's see if I can get someone to bail me out!"

Another time card saying "5 Hours Later..." shows up for 2 seconds, and it cuts back to SpongeBob in jail, again. He says:
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Wavegod 23/03/09(Thu)01:32 No. 21381

The sponge must be really pressed.

Jehovah Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/02/28(Tue)05:25 No. 21362 [Reply]

File 167755831351.jpg - (34.29KB , 590x350 , God-and-MRI-scan-1111930.jpg )

The Trinity Explained

The Trinity.
Three, IN one!
God (Jehovah) is The Container.
We live INSIDE God!

Picture yourself at the throne of God.
You see Jehovah, Jesus to His right, and The Holy Ghost. (Enoch however says Gabriel is to God's left).
If you thought to yourself, "well, if we can see The Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost, who or what is containing them?"
That's when I tell you, Jehovah is The Grand Father in-which we live IN.

We live inside God's mind.
Before man had a brain (like Adam), God first had a brain. We are created in God's image, and to God's likeness. Therefore God has always been, a human bodily shape. Therefore we can conclude that all of reality, is contained and shaped, in the image of the human body. The Holy Ghost descended upon Jesus in the form of a humanly bodily shape.
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Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/01/24(Tue)12:48 No. 21337 [Reply]

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This was a real prediction (from God) of the Monterey California shooting where 11 people died.


I fucking hate ghosts Tin Foil Enthusiast 22/11/03(Thu)18:38 No. 21257 [Reply]

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Boy oh boy do I have a story for you/x/
>be me
>riding my bike at around midnight cuz couldn’t sleep and also hungry
>decide to go to jack in the box for one of their munchie meals
>start riding back home with my food when all of a sudden I hear “fat fuck”
>no one was out that night and it sounded like it was right next to me
I hate ghosts /x

Tin Foil Enthusiast 22/11/05(Sat)18:00 No. 21259

Maybe your great gravitational pull ended up attracting that sound from 5 miles away.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 22/08/31(Wed)21:30 No. 21221 [Reply]

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I found a bug in Astrology. It turns out, you, me, or anyone can make up any new Zodiac signs AT WILL. Leap seconds and new planets and stuff, it's complicated. Try it!

I made one up, Clorb, the dish towel of shame. I am only a cusp of this sign, so my powers are quite weak. Being a Clorb cusp make me only moderately absorbent.

6 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
Tin Foil Enthusiast 22/10/10(Mon)22:33 No. 21250

File 166543400912.jpg - (54.78KB , 640x480 , FVpCEKWXwAE5EYp.jpg )

Technically speaking, any single star is a one-star-constellation, and, from a human-centric view-point, all stars that we can see are related because they fall into the star class call "the Visable Arena". You can harness the power of EACH star and gain the collective power of EVERY SINGLE ZODIACAL ASTRO-SIGN. You will have the powers of every human, you will also become very talkative.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/01/09(Mon)03:36 No. 21300

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I have recently btfo'd even freaking astrology
So, I was reading some "here's what's coming for your birth chart next week:"
And it was first Nice, but then not nice, and then I changed my mentality about it (e.g. just smiling about the reading instead of being disenchanted from it)
First part was like about 10%, then about 50%, then the mentality shift, 'I'm gonna beat destiny itself, motherfuckers' type of stuff, and I SHIT YOU NOT
Negative before switching mentality:
Family relations and shit going lower
There will be a great max-tier improvement of your family relationships

Like, BRUH
and I swear it was like this for every single bad thing that I had seen before in that reading
(and this is one of those long-ass freaking readings dude)
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Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/02/08(Wed)12:25 No. 21348

I am very surprised no one else has taken advantage of this bug. It's a fun one to exploit.

Took a picture of an orb Tin Foil Enthusiast 21/11/18(Thu)05:34 No. 21070 [Reply]

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Was just taking pics of nothing using an old camera i got from my grandpa. Didn’t even notice the orb till later.

Look to the left of the orb kinda near the doorknob and see the orb’s handler. IF YOU DARE!

Zoom in as close as you can and tell me what you see in this orb.
PLEASE. I know what i see , but dont want to incite paraDOHlia.
Sent this to an expert and was told i took a picture of an image i seen in my mind - my eyes were playing tricks.

To that i say BULLSHIT. Its a freekin orb.

Plius. 21/11/20(Sat)04:37 No. 21073

Yes, that appears to be an orb.
not 100% sure about the face in the window, but it's creepy looking to be sure. What's that book ye got there, by chance?

Densel 23/01/18(Wed)22:29 No. 21333

what are orbs anyways?

jew toilet conspiracy Tin Foil Enthusiast 19/03/14(Thu)02:12 No. 20594 [Reply]

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I've started to dig on google about the jewish toilet goals.

- The guy who made the world toilet organization received two award from two diferent jewish organizations.
- George soros open society has made sanitation one of their goals, Soros donated 10 million to some non profit organization in bangladesh to install toilets.
- The Sustainable Sanitation Alliance receive funding from the Bill Gates Fundation.
- One of the top 4 major toilet producers (Kohler Co) in the world was funded by a jewish inmigrant.
- Having every human on earth shitting on toilets has been declared a core goal for the Agenda 30 of the Millenium development goals of the UN.
- Jews own several of the major toilet paper producers on the planet
- Procter&Gamble 42% of it's supplier materials comes from jewish companies.
- Kimberly-Clark 60% of it's entire stock is owned by the State of Israel.
- Georgia-Pacific has a jew CEO.
- Central National-Gottesman is family owned by a jew family
- Jews developed an entire market of kosher toilet paper
- Jews also own the soap industry:
- Dr. Bronner’s soap company was made by jews that escaped the holocaust.
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9 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Tin Foil Enthusiast 21/04/28(Wed)18:11 No. 20976

this has got to be the stupidest shit i've ever read

Tin Foil Enthusiast 22/08/03(Wed)11:46 No. 21197

I guess it's because those j00s wanna take away your god given right to shit wherever you fucking well choose.

If you wanna plop one down on the floor at Golden Corral, you should be able to, yea?

Government can't tell you what to do with your body! Oh wait.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 22/08/25(Thu)14:12 No. 21209

We're not going to stop using the DESIGNATED meme, ranjeev

Canada Gov Scary Tin Foil Enthusiast 22/02/17(Thu)05:07 No. 21117 [Reply]

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Things are getting pretty scary in Canada, please share this political commentary if you can.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 22/02/17(Thu)05:13 No. 21118

It has gone full crazy up here.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 22/02/18(Fri)16:44 No. 21119

cheers kind sir, just put it in a thread in /b/

I'm just waiting for the live streams to start thats my night sorted

resetting my personal reality Jericho 21/03/10(Wed)11:17 No. 20960 [Reply]

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Is there in the realm of /x/ to reset reality to a previous state? perhaps a personal reality? Using perhaps a ritual or another method. Like that one episode of china IL where they got a ritual from a voodoo which doctor. Like Schopenhauer said "world is idea" and there is not a fact truer then that. Our own perception is in our head so it can be changed if we so choose?

Jericho 21/03/10(Wed)11:24 No. 20961

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The obvious way the world would do this post ritual is sending my conscious back in time to the desired time and space. The problem that I saw at the first look of this idea is how would my physical memories be carried back. This poses a problem because my goal isn't to just relive that time and end up here. This would create the same results and make a time loop. I would need my memories with me to not repeat my self and to not end up in a time loop.

(((They))) Live Tin Foil Enthusiast 22/12/28(Wed)20:36 No. 21289 [Reply]

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The movie "They Live" is definitely about dajooz.
>We are their cattle. We are being bred for slavery.
Goyim literally means cattle, and the reason jews push for mass immigration is to breed an 85IQ Mulatto-Arabic slave race of nigger-cattle.
Also, in the 1980s, the Israeli government crushed innocent Palestinian camps using bulldozers, the way the zogbots do in the movie.
Also, the aliens/jews are defeated by destruction of the newsmedia tower.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 22/12/29(Thu)02:15 No. 21290

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We aren't being bred and cordoned for Jews, we are being genenocided by the jews through immigration and homosexual propaganda and promulgation. Jews are trying to make the population a small stupid brown one so they can control with an AI computer that they themselves are being controlled by.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 22/12/31(Sat)21:21 No. 21293

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Kek, I like this theory.
Its telling that the creature's propaganda in the movie is less harmful than modern jew propaganda.

Tin Foil Enthusiast 23/01/10(Tue)18:29 No. 21303


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