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/grim/ - Cold, Grim & Miserable As always ideas for rules, anonymous names and better headers are always welcome, post them in the main sticky and we'll consider them.
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Eeyore 22/03/02(Wed)04:43 No. 6750 ID: 9f5ffe [Reply]

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Was bedridden for 7 years, enjoyed 6 months of recovery, then COVID hit and I had intermittent good times living in Europe with my new passport, started a business bought a house, restrictions all lifted happy as Larry.

Then the fire nation attacked and I got COVID, then long covid, then my condition from before resurfaced because of it now I'm back to being bedridden living in my parents house back in the states again with no end in sight.

Fucking hell I'm depressed, smoking a pack a day and probably gonna start playing WoW 14 hours a day again.

Eeyore 22/03/08(Tue)12:07 No. 6751 ID: 273d68

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you get to be hikki without the crippling shame congrats anon

Talk about your failures in life Eeyore 20/02/25(Tue)09:19 No. 6374 ID: 30b50c [Reply]

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failure after failure after failure after failure. I'm a loser to the eyes of most people and I wanted to be successful, I told people I would be successful, they thought I would be successful, but then they saw me fail and fail again, until I'm nothing but a poor loser no one likes.

I'm haunted by my failures. I am forever hateful of myself, forever ashamed. I feel inferior. Bad, evil, people I hate so much are succeeding more than me. Who's laughing now? Them. I'm ruined. The suffering is so intense and it never stops. Constant suffering. I don't understand why I'm still alive.

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Eeyore 20/04/23(Thu)09:25 No. 6441 ID: 72d4d3

"Friends" is not the right word. Friends don't help you do jack shit. Friends are for hanging out, drinking beer and smoking weed, and patting you on the back saying "it's not your fault, they just don't understand your value" when you get fired. They won't criticize you when you're doing things wrong, won't tell you the truth, won't pick at your faults, and certainly won't help you get a leg-up in business at that job they DON'T have. Believe me, almost nobody wants to have a friend who will do those things, because they'll just get angry and you won't have any friends anymore.

I have friends who are perpetual failures in their line of work, and I know EXACTLY why they are failing, just from simple observation and comparing them and others who are successful. But I will never tell them, because they will say I am wrong and will cut me out of their life. Probably, they will say I don't know what I'm talking about because I don't do what they do. But that's what I mean, because friendship requires trust and affection, but NOT RESPECT. What they need is someone who they respect in their same industry who will tell them what I told them; then maybe they will take action.

What he really meant was a network. Business partners, co-workers, acquaintances in your industry of choice. There is a measure of mutual trust and respect between you, but you are not friends. The difference is they will not coddle you; they don't give a fuck about your feelings; they will not hesitate to tell you exactly why you're a fuck-up and the reason you got fired from your last job is because you fucked up in X, Y, and Z ways. Then they will tell you about how to get your foot in the door of a new business opportunity, with the unspoken agreement that when they need help, you will do the same.

Simply being told "you can do it!" doesn't help anything. People can do that to themselves; if they didn't self-motivate to some degree and tell themselves "I can do it!" they wouldn't even get out of bed.

Friends are like junk food; it feels good to eat, but it's not going to make your body any better. A network is like broccoli; tastes bad but it's what you need to be healthy.

Eeyore 22/01/17(Mon)21:02 No. 6733 ID: 182caf

>stop doing things for looks
>always hide yourself
>specially whenever you may triumph at whatever

Chasing desires = dukkha

Eeyore 22/02/21(Mon)07:07 No. 6748 ID: 212ae6

Op here. It has been a while since the last time I visited this place. I am still a failure, nothing has changed.

Eeyore 18/10/02(Tue)10:21 No. 5906 ID: b1f1f1 [Reply]

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What is something that seems to be slipping away?

For me, it ought to be urgency. I'm lost between oversleeping and having tireless bloodshot eyes. When I go beyond 48 hours without rest, life is blown out of perspective. It's already so pointless to drag myself through all the same motions everyday.

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Eeyore 22/01/17(Mon)21:15 No. 6739 ID: 182caf

Have you ever been at wizchan? You smell like wizard

Eeyore 22/02/13(Sun)07:03 No. 6744 ID: 107aae

Not the guy you're talking to, but you reminded me about wizchan. Thanks.

Eeyore 22/02/17(Thu)16:44 No. 6746 ID: 273d68

that's not a good thing :/

Eeyore 21/06/18(Fri)00:00 No. 6660 ID: 96fcaa [Reply]

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I went through an old yearbook last weekend and what immediately jumped out is that the two people from our (sixth grade) class that are dead were right next to each other.

The first one was a problem child who apparently got pregnant at 12 and was murdered by her super religious grandmother by keeping her out late and pulling in front of a train on the way home as she was asleep in the back seat.

The second one was raped in school by a little glass eyed sociopath and that sent her on a downward spiral that ended with her addicted to drugs, murdered by a Mexican and thrown naked in a ditch.

On a lighter coincidence, my oldest son's mom and I were also next to each other on the same page of the yearbook

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Eeyore 22/01/17(Mon)19:49 No. 6724 ID: 182caf

to me all of them are just like robots doing nothing, for nothing in the middle of nothingness and to it shall they return.

I once used to imagine that people around me were just holograms, and some light of such thoughts still lives inside me.

Eeyore 22/02/07(Mon)00:03 No. 6742 ID: ff3844


No doubt, they think the same about you.

Eeyore 22/02/14(Mon)16:18 No. 6745 ID: 740106

One lad, I was in biology and chemistry with in high school, got stab through the heart with screw driver less than three months after leave school over a girl.

Shame he was okay.

I haven't really kept up with anyone from my year or school. I know few and their doing ok on the whole.

Eeyore 20/04/07(Tue)17:46 No. 6406 ID: 724304 [Reply]

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I just realized I've been sexually abused by my mother as a preteen
I enjoyed it. I have a huge /ss/ fetish because of it. but she hurt me. she manipulated me. and I know that what she did is wrong
now I don't know what the hell to do. I love her, I'd die for any of my family members. so why did she hurt me like this?
I've never even realized until recently, when I had my first sexual experience with a girl (I'm 20)
I always thought that it was something that "just happened" and even was thankful for it because I felt a lot of pleasure. but now I'm in pain and I'm aware that it was an evil thing to do

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sage Eeyore 20/10/17(Sat)05:17 No. 6542 ID: 720b6c

>Americans [...] with virginity and the purity of sex
I am an Eurofriend tho.

Eeyore 22/01/20(Thu)00:20 No. 6740 ID: 182caf

>now i feel this was evil
Could you verbalize why? Know yourself

Sum1HuNos 22/02/01(Tue)13:11 No. 6741 ID: c3e307

I think you should just confront you mom. Then you can each try to honestly express how you feel, what happened to you and how you feel moving forward. Life isn't easy but unanswered questions will only leave you to fill in the blanks subjectively.

Eeyore 20/02/05(Wed)03:52 No. 6359 ID: 54c56d [Reply]

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so I got promoted at my job and now I'm a phone salesman. today I got the calls' script and I was told to listen to my coworkers so I can pick up their conversation lines. that's no problem, but the thing is, I got scared, and it showed. I became very quiet through the work day and sat all hunched over
dealing with people is not my strong suit, but I've been asking for an opportunity to harden up to the things I fear or don't like, and now it came, sadly I'm just out of the loop
all I can do right now is pray for strength and courage

1 post omitted. Click Reply to view.
Eeyore 20/02/05(Wed)12:44 No. 6361 ID: 9f02ee

>Put on your white voice, op.

Like Dr Dre and Eminem
Just imagine that everyone else in the building is
Puff Daddy
and you're Dr Dre or Eminem
Quote Sun Tzu at people
act like you're bigger than Prince (Formerly known as the Artiste'"

Eeyore 20/02/05(Wed)23:37 No. 6363 ID: 54c56d

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I think I may have made a big deal about it. it still makes me anxious as hell, but I could more or less follow the script and I didn't stutter or anything like that
the supervisor that vouched for me to get into the position congratulated me and all. now I just have to manage my nerves and my posture and we're all set
my neck hurts like hell

Eeyore 22/01/17(Mon)21:06 No. 6735 ID: 182caf

you better get some course about gardening. Stop wasting yourself, stop doing things the hard way

Eeyore 14/09/05(Fri)17:14 No. 3737 ID: 591d42 [Reply]

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How do i hide with my facial expressions that i am sad or is in a state of anxiety?

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Eeyore 20/04/23(Thu)09:59 No. 6443 ID: 72d4d3

The secret is disdain. Disdain for the worthless sad filth that are human beings. Go kick over an anthill and watch the ants scurry around as their pathetic little lives are so violently disrupted. Realize what kind of look you have on your face. A quiet disdain. Visually, it's mostly a neutral look, but a little downcast; you're simultaneously looking downward as if in condescension, and looking downward as if in depression. Because it's both sad and pathetic; no matter their struggles, they're just stupid fucking ants.

Do that all the time. Anytime you see someone else, have that feeling and you'll have that look. Realize how pathetic and depressing their lives and their struggles, and yet how they still try so hard to accomplish nothing at all. You can feel superior to them, not because you are better in any way, but because you've at least realized this truth, while they continue to believe in such maudlin propaganda nonsense like the value of hard work, meritocracy, karma, and destiny.

In my experience, this look tends to have one of two effects on people. Either they see it as smug superiority and therefore respect you, or they see it as dangerous instability and therefore fear you; and in either case this is subconscious behavior, the only result is that they do whatever you want. After all, the rich businessman and the serial killer are both the exact same type of sociopath; the only difference is their execution.

I feel I completely mastered this the other day when I went shopping for groceries. My country suddenly (and, might I add, several months LATE) decided to implement rules that everyone has to wear masks in public. I had not heard of this, so I was literally the only person not wearing one. And I really felt that disdain, more than ever. I felt like walking up to every single one of them, patting them on the head and saying, "It's okay. Don't worry. This isn't something like the Black Plague. Your pitiful little species won't go extinct." I have to imagine half of the people who saw me thought I was somehow so above the rules that I didn't have to do what they did; the other half thought I was so crazy that I was deliberately trying to infect them. I was a criminal, definitely, but nobody was sure whether I was Batman or The Joker. Either way, the result was the same. Nobody called me out. Nobody asked why I wasn't following the directives. Nobody told me "you can't do that".

I accomplished what I meant to do with no difficulty, and nobody got in my way except for the people who were required to do things for me, and they did so unquestioningly. This is the secret to everything in life. If you have that same attitude, it doesn't matter if you're telling someone to bag your fucking groceries or sign the fucking papers; they will do it. Because you look like you're greater Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

DO. NOT. Eeyore 22/01/17(Mon)20:40 No. 6731 ID: 182caf

Instead of that, let the consequences (of not doing so) fear you instead of you being afraid. Or rather embrace them.

Why in the world are you hiding? Is someone out there scaring you? Stop giving excuses. Be as your heart needs need you to be. Hide your power, not your misery. Destroy incoming predators instead of preventing them.

>At least that's what I used to do

Eeyore 22/01/17(Mon)20:42 No. 6732 ID: 182caf

>not fearing karma
This is not about what we may chase, but about what we run away from. When you taste real issues, you are in a hurry.

Eeyore 20/05/07(Thu)06:46 No. 6456 ID: 8bf6d2 [Reply]

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How many things in the future are you looking forward to?

The only thing giving me hope is living in a older-folks condo and having a bonfire on a regular basis as part of the complex's social events.

Does a such thing even exist? Or am I doomed for a life of disappointment?

Eeyore 20/05/08(Fri)10:21 No. 6458 ID: 86ec01

I only hope for total human extinction, and that I'll be lucky enough to be around to see it happen (or at least start to happen).

Oh, and I highly doubt that there is any such thing as a housing complex of any variety that allows bonfires. Condos tend to be very crowded and therefore very flammable. Bonfires are usually build in large open areas on sand, like a beach or a desert.

If you like fire, why wait until you're old? Go make bonfires right now while you're still strong enough to lift the logs.

Eeyore 20/05/09(Sat)05:21 No. 6467 ID: 8bf6d2

I live in a condo complex now which doesn't have space let alone allow for them. :(

I could move to a house and start my own (and hopefully have neighbours join) but that likely won't happen since I'm not a social person. The reason I've specified condo conplex is because it unites a group of people where any individual can be a "third wheel" of the group yet still be welcomed and accepted there without being a waste of circumference space. Usually older-folks condos have spoiled their residents with events and other such things (being a mailman I've seen first-hand the treatment they get. It's amazing.) So I figured it was more likely they would have that event over your regular condo complex but if such a thing exists for condos for all ages then sign me up!

Eeyore 22/01/17(Mon)20:37 No. 6730 ID: 182caf

Hope for what? You sound as if you just had to abandon such society a long time ago.

Eeyore 20/09/28(Mon)05:19 No. 6539 ID: b42dc4 [Reply]

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everythings fine. great, even. it appears i do have some social skills and put them to work just fine

then why do i feel so doubtful and despairing all the time? why do i feel sluggish and backwards when i compare myself to others? why do i feel like ive been left aside from important or enjoyable moments because of just being me? why do i feel encased in ice, trapped in time and unable to catch up with everyones rythm?

every been to a party? for those who have, id probably know how we would spend time at it: awkwardly holding a glass of soda in a corner while looking at our feet. thats what id do anyways. thats how id feel anyways. thats the feeling that chases me to this very day, at any moment. at home. outside. alone. with other people
me; stunted by rave lights and ear-shattering music like a deer surprised by a car's headlights watching everyone have fun and be better

Eeyore 20/09/30(Wed)22:32 No. 6540 ID: b83bb7

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It's because life is pain, OP. Life is inherently alienating and painful by its very nature. And no matter how close we get to experiencing understanding and acceptance of other people. At the end of the day the only thing we, truly, have is ourselves. No one can ever, truly, understand you, but, you. That's what you are feeling. That emptyness, that isolation, no matter what you do. it's because you are constantly trying to, truly, connect, but, the human condition makes this an impossibility.
TL;DR, You are alone.

Then listen to it, instead of running away from it Eeyore 22/01/17(Mon)20:33 No. 6729 ID: 182caf

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>why do i feel like ive been left aside from important or enjoyable moments because of just being me?
You were not being you totally, but X thing of others.
>why do i feel encased in ice, trapped in time and unable to catch up with everyones rythm?
Because going towards others rhythm instead of yours is unnatural and unhealthy. Or is it that they answer back adapting also to yourself? Of course not. You're selling your soul to the expectations of the world, which deserves nothing.
>every been to a party? for those who have, id probably know how we would spend time at it: awkwardly holding a glass of soda in a corner while looking at our feet.
Why do you spend yourself trying to adapt to this world? Don't answer to me! No answer would ever serve as reason enough to such outrage. IF we go to a party for 2 things only: have your meal there and then go away. Stop chasing this world! You are going to be left apart anyways and also hollow for doing so.
>everyone has fun and is better
Or they just pretend to be so. If they do not asume you, why are you there trying to amuse everyone? The standard of the world judges you according to what you put in for it. Answer back judging reversally, and think about the world according to its deeds, never its promises.

Don't play music for those who do not even sing for you. Chase yourself. Dig into your void. You have been letting the world to alienate yourself all this time... listen to your feelings and give away this ridiculous entreprise of being whom you are not, chasing thankless passions, thankless desires.

Life. Eeyore 19/11/08(Fri)03:29 No. 6266 ID: 2cb6e3 [Reply]

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>Spend childhood getting bullied, but otherwise pretty normal upbringing
>taught to treat people with decency and respect, even if they don't treat you the same way
>battery of IQ tests reveals genius intelligence
>have some serious issues come up in mid-childhood, various diagnoses of mental disorders ranging from ADHD to Rapidcycling bipolar disorder to learning disabilities
>pretty sure I was just bored and couldn't learn things from reading about them, have to be actively engaged and made to care about it.
>constant social issues growing up cause me to throw myself into books, history, and computers
>social issues include trusting people too easily and being taken advantage of, not getting along with authority figures, getting bullied and getting into fights, generally being socially ostracized
>grow up a massive fucking nerd
>develop severe depression around age 8 which involves sometimes cutting my hand to feel anything but misery
>hide it
>get into musical counterculture at 15 years of age...punk, thrash metal, goth, electro, industrial, psychobilly, I love it all
>tons of ideas on what I want to do with myself...make videogames, be a writer, make music, be an architect, just want to put something out into the world that I can care about
>constantly told by family and the few girlfriends I've had "That's unrealistic, you need to pick something else."
>school marks suffer significantly, largely because I just can't keep track of things and most of the subjects I just don't care about since nobody's giving me an actual reason to learn shit other than "you need this credit to pass"
>never pursue dreams
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Egregore 20/09/17(Thu)19:24 No. 6532 ID: 157975

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Yo man, this is literally what happened to me too. My leg is filled with cuts and scars. I used to have long lines of thick clotting blood dripping through my legs.

I broke sharpeners and cut my legs with it to the point that, my mom became concerned. Its ironic because it seems like she actually cares about me, but, I'm on a roller-coaster of emotions all day to the point that, I do not have a fixed opinion on anyone. It's almost like I'm a nietszchean fragment of multiple wills beyond good and evil.

Had a few exes and the Last two ended up cheating on me.

Eeyore 20/10/03(Sat)04:46 No. 6541 ID: 120827

>battery of IQ tests reveals genius intelligence
>get into musical counterculture at 15 years of age...punk, thrash metal, goth, electro, industrial, psychobilly, I love it all
kek, let me guess, they told you you were a really "special" guy and they put you in "special" classes for "special" kids.

Warped mind Eeyore 22/01/17(Mon)20:02 No. 6728 ID: 182caf

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Some metabolisms need protein for good. Eggs and fish are usually the softest.
The important thing about warp wanings are the core tenets:

>Fasting, training the body to fast
>Colon cleansing
>When eating regularly, do it within a narrow schedule and not thru the day long
>Mucusless diet is dangerous if suddenly applied,beware
>Colon cleansing is necessary after an entire life of miscarriage.
>Some bodies have different symptoms to express they are harmed by wheat,corn,rice and/or industrial sugars.
>Best fats are HDL. Worst ones are LDL. Carbs and starch raise this last one quite a lot.
>Best proteíns are from eggs and white fish,easiest fats.
>Best sport is always short and intense , never marathonian.
>Avoid breakfast until some hours pass since you get up.
>Investigate the books of warp wanings. Read Ehret, Dan Reid, Nagumo, Perlmutter, Horace Fletcher, James Nicolantonio… Not every body works the same way, test and discover your options.
> Warp wanings may take slowly upgrading your usage of them and quite a lot of time, AGEs are harder to remove from the body (specially brains) than starch.
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