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God help me, I'm 32 fucking years old and I'm still ending up in "situationships." I met a girl, we've been regularly dating for months. I *really* like her and it seems like she likes me the same way. But I've been burnt by this kind of thing before, and I'm feeling flighty.

She "doesn't want to put any labels on it" because she's recently out of a really long-term relationship. That's cool, it is still early. She's already told me that even when she's in a serious relationship it's open, and that she's still hooking up with people sometimes in between us seeing each other. Honestly I'm cool with that too, I've done open shit before and it was nice. But lately I'm getting this creeping, nagging feeling like I'm getting put on a back-burner, and I've been feeling neglected in this weird way, and now those things we've already agreed on are kicking around in my head and making it all worse. Currently our schedules don't line up for a stretch of a couple weeks, and I'm wondering what to do.

I've mainly just been seeing her, because that's how our schedules have lined up so far. But now I'm wondering if I should get back to just going out and fucking around. "I've been through too much shit to dedicate my whole heart to someone who's just halfway interested again," that's the thought that's been amplifying in my head. Open or monogamous I don't give a fuck, but whatever the relationship is I deserve something that feels reciprocated and steady, and I feel like I should keep looking until I find that.

The only thing stopping me is an equally nagging feeling that I'm misreading the entire situation somehow, because that is one of my own tendencies in relationships. I'm worried that she actually really cares about what we're doing in her own way, and might get turned off or hurt somehow if I start mixing things up with other chicks. I'm also paranoid that I don't even really want to fuck someone else, that I'm just subconsciously trying to make her jealous or some weird shit like that.

Stupid first-world problems... This is why I wanted to rage and baww about this, the second you write this tripe down it looks so trivial. I'm just going to try fucking around and going on a date or two with some other girls and see how the whole thing plays out, fuck it, fuck my overthinking brain, fuck everything. I'll report back with what I find out in a few months' time.