Guide to Success from nothing Captain Derp 12/10/13(Sat)05:41 No. 387 ID: 353cb7 [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]

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I started with a criminal record for petty narcotics pos and a 'computer tresspassing' record guaranteeing me unemployment almost everywhere except manual labor. I was also living in a SRO in the worst area you can ever imagine, had no money, huge debt and couldn't even finish university so washed out in the second year due to poverty.


STEP 1 - GET A FUCKING JOB

Any job will do. Some shitty manual labor position is great because then you also get some activity in so you aren't a fat bastard.

Easy jobs to get are landscaping (usually pays under the table cash), construction clean up, warehouse, or whatever you can find on your local Craigslist 'gigs' section. Alternatively there's the dreaded nightshift tech support. Look around for these on CL, or move to somewhere in your country where the jobs are. In Canada this means terribad mining and oilfiend work but it pays like $40/hr and there's nothing else to do up there, perfect for studying.

For me, I got a job at the post office and delivered mail, which meant I got off early and had lot's of time for school. Also consider institutions that will pay you to learn a trade, such as telephone companies and whatever else.

STEP 2 - START SAVING MONEY

Basic income budget rule is 70/20/10

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Modern Mom ## Admin ## 12/08/17(Fri)01:43 No. 1 ID: e5e5b6 [Reply]

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Congratulations you poor bastards have earned your own board. Don't fuck it up. Any relevant rules will be created/added to this post when the time comes, but for the meantime try to keep it SFW.

Go Wild

Jesus Christ I'm useless; I should have specified that this board is for poor niggers to share money saving tips/vouchers and whatever.

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What's the last thing you saved money doing?

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What is the point of trying to make money if the only job i could get,pays less than 150$ a month (a very good job is no more than 600$ though)
Tired of this hell life i got memed into taking a course in order to get a diploma to then find a good job, but my family basically told me to fuck off and i can't pay it (will probably be homeless soon)
i could sell everything i have to buy a plane ticket, is there somewhere i could go? i don't want to be an illegal alien forever

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How can I get food for free? Are there better methods than shoplifting?

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After seeing how cheap the blades for double edge razors are compared to the obscenely over-priced replacement blade cartridges, I'm interested in learning more about double edge razors.

It sounds like aside from being a fraction of the price, the blades even last longer since you can completely remove, clean and dry them, which is impossible with cartridges.

The problem: how difficult is it to shave with these things? Will a new user have a close shave at a fraction of the price, or a face full of blood-stained toilet paper squares? At this point, I'm forced to use the same dull blades that should have been trashed a long time ago, because I can't shell out the money for replacements.

tl;dr shaving for jews

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The meat is too expensive in my country and I just want to get protein with another way. I realized "eating less eat and more mushrooms" will be better for me and it's healthy. I found some mushroom growing kit but It's uselles after 2 harvesting. Someguys grow mushroom in plastic bag but as I see mushrooms grow so slow. Is there a way to make my own mushroom kit with wood or something else?

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Amerifag here.

So to get SSDI or SSI you can - among other things - lose a one hand above the wrist and one foot above the ankle, both feet above the ankle, or both hands above the wrist.

I'm sort of trained as a programmer, but I'm currently homeless so I can't continue learning on my own (too busy trying not to die). I want to be disabled so I can get a place of my own via section 8 housing, pay my bills with SSI or SSDI, and then spend the rest of my free time programming until someone will hire me for a decent wage and then I can get off it.

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So how can I amputate a hand and a foot in a plausibly deniable manner?

For my hand I could light and hold onto a sufficiently powerful firework (maybe a m80), but I'm not sure that will take it off above the wrist - more likely I'd blow my fingers off.

For my ankle I could eschew socks, pour water in my boots, lace them very tight, and then go on a 15 miles hike several days in a row. This will induce trench foot which should lead to gangrene. Alternately I could wait until winter, pour water in a boot while wearing a cotton sock, and then sleep with that foot out of the sleeping bag - this will also work on a hand, if I use a cotton glove in a leather (waterproof) glove.

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I used to be homeless. Here's how to panhandle and make money.

1. Be non-threatening. Don't have a huge dog that barks at people, don't get pissed off when people fuck with you (most white people won't, it's usually blacks or gang-banging messikins). Just don't be an asshole.

2. Be visibly homeless. Don't be completely clean.

3. Have a prop. This can be a wheelchair (it takes a few weeks to get the upper body strength and endurance to wheel yourself around), a cast (get one that you can take off), a cane.

4. You will make at least ten times as much money if you have a small, non-threatening dog. A dachshund is best, a chihuahua is second best. The dog should be calm and not bark at everyone - it takes a few days to train a dog not to bark at everyone.

People will ask you what you need, and a lot will offer to buy you dog food. It's sometimes possible to return the dog food for cash if they give you a receipt, but don't ask for it if they don't give it to you.

5. Be a woman, or at least an attractive man. Women make at least ten times as much money as men.

6. It helps if you have gray hair, especially a gray beard. I'm not sure how to dye hair gray though.
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If you get a blender, your food expenses might not go down, but your nutrient intake can go way up. Almost nobody has the time to make three fresh meals a day, and meal prep takes extra mental energy, so blend a fresh meal instead. The more energy you can dedicate to improving your health and financial situation, the better. Even if you don’t like smoothes, which is unusual, you can simply dilute the flavor with a extra yogurt or maybe even milk. A good fruit or vegetable smoothie entering just feels right entering your body. Plus, with greek yogurt, and maybe even a dash of unflavored protein powder, you can get a good macronutrient ratio. It’s a nice way to live, and it beats the hell out of most food advice I’ve heard. There’s a fairly wide variety of flavor options, so it’s unlikely to get boring. A pretty bougie at-home smoothie typically costs $2-$3, but can cost $1-$2 if you manage to buy in bulk. Why are you not doing this? One tall cup is about 400 to 600 calories.

Pic related, what your first or second attempt will probably look like.