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/eh/ - Particularly uninteresting conversation
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There's a new /777/ up, it's /selfhelp/ - You're Pathetic, We're Pathetic, We Can Do This! Check it out. Suggest new /777/s here.

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John Smith ## Admin ## 13/03/17(Sun)06:48 No. 39798 [Reply] [Last 50 posts] Stickied

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Dear John,

I have come to visit you for the first time in quite a while, and I must say that your board is dreadfully boring.
Now I know you may see this as a compliment, but I assure you that it is not. This was once a source of pride for me - conversations were held on many topics and the superiority of Pepsi-Cola was never in question. It seems that through the years you have all forgotten the statement of this board: Every conversation is uninteresting.
This does not mean that only excessively droll conversation is allowed. You may talk about anything, especially topics that may not be suited for other boards.

Why am I telling you this, John?
I fear the trends over that past year have created a circlejerk in shades of gray; every man stroking unenthusiastically and not a single climax reached. The board approaches an insipid singularity and the userbase stagnates and shrinks.

What do I feel I can do to halt this monotony?
Remove this monochrome veil.
Turn off the elevator's wail.
Take back your own names.
Move from completely uninteresting to mild interest.

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

80 posts and 14 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
John Smith 15/08/22(Sat)02:58 No. 44765


I kind of like it.

John Smith ## Mod ## 12/11/23(Fri)22:44 No. 38299 [Reply] Locked Stickied

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Welcome to /eh/

Where everything is just... eh...

/eh/ is not for crying, /rnb/ is for crying.

John Smith ## Mod ## 12/11/23(Fri)22:46 No. 38300

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The music is from the Tenpenny Tower lobby in Fallout 3.


John Smith 15/01/30(Fri)07:41 No. 44152 [Reply]

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I think I would rather drift around from place to place on some kind of boat and tend to my vegetable garden there the rest of my life.

Actually, if all the land were so irradiated or biologically contaminated that it became uninhabitable, and people had to spend their lives fishing and drifting around the warm oceans in boats, our species wouldn't have any reason or ability to engage in arms races and weapons manufacturing or wars, religions would only be able to spread by their own merits & not by force, & humanity would soon have nothing better to do than develop in a more positive direction.

If all-out, total nuclear or biological war leaves even 1% of the human population alive, it'd be an ideal situation.

19 posts and 4 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
John Smith 15/08/30(Sun)09:59 No. 44778

That's probable.
1% survival of a 7 billion person species is still 70 million people. Even if they were just the 70 million scattered in the most remote locations and in the goldilocks zone of climate to avoid all the effects of the fallout & contagions, that's still to many. Soon, they would find each other, and then they would organize, and then divisions would split, and tribes would form, and devalue the individual, and competition and warfare would rage chaos and doom once again.

Ultimately, humans have to mentally develop beyond the chimp-mindset we overvalue, and we don't have time to do it. The only way is to engineer a new being, one that more resembles the bonobos, which live much better, healthier, happier, less violent, less destructive, more enjoyable lives by every measure. When the new beings are engineered, the old legacy savage race must be made to die out completely. Any cross breeding will poison the well for future generations, and mankind will never achieve anything notable.

AI and machines are one option I suppose. Sending intelligent engineered beings into space and then sterilizing the human population on earth is another.

John Smith 15/08/30(Sun)10:05 No. 44779

...or perhaps, a gene treatment, that simply calms the human mind in a flood of endorphins and physically alters the hormone levels in subjects brains, from aggression and ambition and violence and desire, to one of overwhelming well-being and acceptance and beauty and tranquility.

Create an airborne dispersion, and watch the wars fizzle out, and no new ones take their place, the tribalism melts, competition becomes an obsolete silly memory, as automated mechanized agricultural systems provide the food and resources for a population whose priorities shift from quantity to quality, and the population levels wind down, resulting in a blessed out humanity and basically heaven on earth, permanently. Freeing people to do whatever they see fit with their abilities and time.

There you go. Engineer it, flood the atmosphere with the gene treatment. Conquer every enemy including your own, from now til the end of the species.

Or kill everyone.

John Smith 15/09/01(Tue)05:41 No. 44783

>gene treatment

You're talking about retroviral genetic engineering John. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the idea of infecting all of mankind with a virus that will change the nature of the species.

John Smith 15/08/31(Mon)11:31 No. 44781 [Reply]

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You're a virgin because you are, in fact, boring. Hence you're here. Allow me to be your escort for love in the comfort of your own home.

Sink your face into an open bulky Ikea catalogue that you get in the mail and sniff it. This is what Emma Watson's farts smell like: chemically aromatic and addictive. Blear your eyes until you convince yourself that the convergence of the recto of one page and the verso of the other is the buttcrack of Emma Watson. Your virgin self is now ready to be convinced that she Wingardium Leviosa'd the imprint of her ass on the chair she is sitting right now to the open book.

Congratulations, you have just lost your virginity! I knew you could do it! Your NEET friends will be so jealous!

John Smith 15/09/01(Tue)05:34 No. 44782

>You're a virgin because you are, in fact, boring. Hence you're here.

I won't deny being boring, John--nor that it is one of the reasons I am here.

Another reason is that I am not a virgin. I do have a sexlife, but this place allows me to escape such tension and excitement to relax with some unstimulating, uninteresting conversation.

John Smith 15/07/28(Tue)18:00 No. 44706 [Reply]

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For me there is no better beverage than hot coffee while browsing /eh. What's your favorite beverage John, and why?

11 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
John Smith 15/08/24(Mon)12:55 No. 44772

While I do, at times, enjoy a cup of coffee, black of course, my preference is to a simple glass of water. To me there is nothing can equal the simplicity and, at the same time, complexity of cooled water, not iced mind you, in a straight sided glass.

John Smith 15/08/26(Wed)04:11 No. 44775

Cider. It gets me buzzed and tastes p delicious. If I want I can get pretty tipsy too. I love it after a good workout.

John Smith 15/08/29(Sat)07:25 No. 44777

Pepsi, of course.

John Smith 15/08/22(Sat)06:40 No. 44766 [Reply]

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I don't understand.

Why would the devil punish someone for something bad?
Doesn't he promote wrong doings and such?
Want people to do crappy things?

Don't really know much about the bible anyways.

2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
John Smith 15/08/22(Sat)18:35 No. 44769

If I understand it correctly the Church views it like this:
Satan (and his buddies) hates humans because God loves them, so he wants them to "fail" and tricks them into sin (not that hard if you ask me). The sinners, after they die, they cannot reach God so they fall into Satan's Realm where he (and his buddies) can play with them however they want for all eternity. And they (again) they really hate humans. End of the story.

That is if you actually believe in Christianity (which I don't).

John Smith 15/08/25(Tue)03:42 No. 44774

If there is a devil, then there are two gods. a good god and a bad god. if the devil is not a god, and there is only one god, then god has preconceived and allows for the devils existence and all the devils actions influencing you to do evil are part of gods own plan.


John Smith 15/08/26(Wed)07:12 No. 44776

Maybe Satan is a servant of God and he's been mutated over the centuries from a Hades-like lord of the underworld who punishes the wicked to King Evil.

John Smith 15/08/02(Sun)13:38 No. 44727 [Reply]

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Just knowing we have this companionship, John, is enough to get me through these lonely nights. Knowing that somewhere on the other side of this screen you're sitting there, listening to this same relaxing tune, watching these same words on your screen... It makes it a much more pleasant evening.


5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
John Smith 15/08/12(Wed)03:04 No. 44747

Somewhere Out There...

John Smith 15/08/12(Wed)22:35 No. 44748

Tonight would be a good night for the two of you to be watching the moon, Johns. The Perseid meteor shower should be marvelous this year.

John Smith 15/08/25(Tue)00:03 No. 44773

If I had any feelings beyond a neutral capacity, I would have been filled with joy as I finished reading your post, for I was just thinking the same thing when I began browsing /eh/ for the first time in months.

May your evenings continue to be pleasant.

Yours faithfully,

John Smith 15/04/23(Thu)04:00 No. 44458 [Reply]

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Dear John, I recently found out I am Christ Jesus, the Messiah said to come in 2000 years hence circa 30 A.D.
I'm very lonely at the moment, though, and wanted to share some wisdom and thoughts. I like hippies, doom metal and psychoactives.

22 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
John Smith 15/08/17(Mon)12:49 No. 44756

yo dude, you're not still hung up on that thing I said about removing body parts and casting them in the fire, are you? That was like way long ago. It was meant as far out deep metaphorical stuff. You had to be there to understand. You also had to be high. Like really high. Man those loaves were dope.

John Smith 15/08/20(Thu)20:43 No. 44762

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>Btw, do you know what is the secret name of God these days? I know :)

This scared me, I don't want to know the name.
I'll look into those films you mentioned.

John Smith 15/08/21(Fri)00:36 No. 44763

Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck is also a good one. The life of a rockstar is nothing to wish for unless you're into doing hard drugs for the comedowns alone, that is"

John Smith 15/07/10(Fri)05:44 No. 44667 [Reply]

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'ey up Mr. Smiths and Ms. Smiths

Do any of you enjoy tobacco?
Have any of you chewed tobacco? What are the benefits to chewing tobacco as opposed to smoking it? Are there any drawbacks?

I currently smoke Mayfairs and a few Amber Leaf rollies.

4 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
John Smith 15/07/27(Mon)14:52 No. 44700

As do I.

John was asking about your tobacco habit, if you have one. Do you enjoy "spliffs" (marijuana cigarettes rolled with tobacco)? or "blunts" (marijuana cigarette rolled in a cigar wrap)?

John Smith 15/07/28(Tue)08:20 No. 44704

I have smoked blunts before but never a spliff as I am an American.

John Smith 15/08/18(Tue)03:15 No. 44759

Well, John, I happen to be rather fond of tobacco. I've enjoyed it smoked, snuffed, and "dipped."
I smoke American Spirits, usually the black perique variety.
I have never had proper chewing tobacco, but I have experienced the shredded dip-style varieties. They were alright, but the I didn't really like them for two reasons. A)Too much spitting, and one cannot enjoy food or beverages whilst using it.
2)The little bits of tobacco would get stuck in my teeth, and I had to manically wash my mouth out afterwards before I felt comfortable swallowing anything.
I, too, enjoy marijuana. I must say that I abhor blunts, far too wasteful. I have rolled spliffs, despite my American nationality. I did not care for them. I was caught between the urge to breathe out the tobacco smoke immediately and the urge to hold in the cannabis smoke. Not a good way to properly enjoy either substance, in my opinion.
I hope you enjoy my thoughts on the matter, John.

John Smith 15/06/01(Mon)05:39 No. 44557 [Reply]

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I'm doing some gardening John. Nothing special, just tomatoes and cucumbers. Some people grow marijuana or even opium poppies in their garden. I think that's a little too wild.

I'm looking forward to tomatoes on toast, with just a bit of salt to make things interesting!

John Smith 15/06/03(Wed)03:54 No. 44559

Thanks for the thread, John. Tangent to gardening, but it reminded me I need to trim some hedges this week.

John Smith 15/08/17(Mon)13:00 No. 44757

I've always wanted to grow tea. I don't know what I'd do with it, the processing seems way to labor intense. There is a plantation in my hometown, which is sort of lucky I guess because they are one of a handful in the U.S, but also unlucky because they never return the emails I send every few months asking if they will finally let me be their protege. I don't know why I still get my hopes up.

John Smith 15/08/18(Tue)03:02 No. 44758

John, I hope your hedges are pleasant. I have been thinking of planting hedges for some time now, but several factors prevent me from doing so.

My lawn needs mowing desperately. I neglected to trim it before going on a trip this weekend, so it has gotten rather wild. This evening will be perfectly cool and agreeable for mowing, but I'm awfully serotonin-depleted from all the hard drugs at the festival this weekend. I'll still do it, though.
I'm sad, John.

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