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/eh/ - Particularly uninteresting conversation
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John Smith ## Admin ## 13/03/17(Sun)06:48 No. 39798 [Reply] [Last 50 posts] Stickied

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Dear John,

I have come to visit you for the first time in quite a while, and I must say that your board is dreadfully boring.
Now I know you may see this as a compliment, but I assure you that it is not. This was once a source of pride for me - conversations were held on many topics and the superiority of Pepsi-Cola was never in question. It seems that through the years you have all forgotten the statement of this board: Every conversation is uninteresting.
This does not mean that only excessively droll conversation is allowed. You may talk about anything, especially topics that may not be suited for other boards.

Why am I telling you this, John?
I fear the trends over that past year have created a circlejerk in shades of gray; every man stroking unenthusiastically and not a single climax reached. The board approaches an insipid singularity and the userbase stagnates and shrinks.

What do I feel I can do to halt this monotony?
Remove this monochrome veil.
Turn off the elevator's wail.
Take back your own names.
Move from completely uninteresting to mild interest.

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

76 posts and 13 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
John Smith 14/10/08(Wed)20:07 No. 43814


The only problem with diet sodas of any kind is that they taste like absolute shit. They are uniformly and without exception the most vile tasting liquid an individual can swill. No one should be forced to drink diet soda and there is something wrong with those who do so voluntarily. QED.

John Smith ## Mod ## 12/11/23(Fri)22:44 No. 38299 [Reply] Locked Stickied

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Welcome to /eh/

Where everything is just... eh...

/eh/ is not for crying, /rnb/ is for crying.

John Smith ## Mod ## 12/11/23(Fri)22:46 No. 38300

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The music is from the Tenpenny Tower lobby in Fallout 3.


John Smith 14/10/12(Sun)06:44 No. 43819 [Reply]

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There seems to be a hysteria brewing among people about a possible ebola outbreak in the United States. I live in New York City though, and I'm not worried at all. I'm just enjoying the days growing colder and the trees shedding. I hope to find a job in a resort lodge or a cluster of cabins this winter, washing dishes, or maybe sweeping floors. Then I will have time to read my books and watch the snow fall through the window as winter rolls in.

I'm not worried, friend. Are you?

11 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
John Smith 14/10/19(Sun)23:51 No. 43850

I just had a conversation last night with a very miserable girl I've known for a long time. Her husband who is a lot of fun to hang out with if you're a guy, alternates between angry, violent, abusive and drunk to her, because that's how his Dad was, and that's all he knows. She's started drinking too to dull the experience. So now you have these two increasingly worthless losers beating on each other and their whole neighborhood is calling the police because of screaming choking fights on the front lawn every other night and on and on.

Naturally, everyone has loads of advice for them.
I took a step back and looked at it and thought: Neither of these two have kids or are going to have kids. Neither is ever going to make the millions it would take to retire. Neither is any good in their marriage. Neither is any good in their career. Neither likes their house or their family or each other.

So why have they bought all of the things that a wealthy 1950's suburban married couple with kids and stable upper-middle-class jobs buys? If you fit that description, then the suburb and the three cars and the expensive lawnmower and the career job and the retirement plan make some amount of sense, as those things were designed by and for those people. But it's not a one-size-fits-all solution, and for everyone else, it's some amount of a bad fit, trying to jam a square peg into a round hole.

Most of our generation will not be able to retire. If you know you're going to work til the day you die no matter what you do, then choosing to take an easy job that allows you to enjoy your off-time seems like a much more sensible option than going through all the motions of a rat race just because "everyone else is doing it".

Sweep those floors johan, and when you're done, read your books, secure in the knowledge that those floors will always need sweeping, and so long as they do, they'll keep allowing you to read your books .

John Smith 14/10/20(Mon)03:46 No. 43851

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But John,
What will we do when no one cares if the floors are swept?

What will the children do when there are no more floors to sweep?

Does John intend to build more floors to sweep, floors that serve a great purpose, floors that will always need to be swept, or will he be kind enough to die so that others may sweep?

I fear John your attitude would permit John to slide into the void.

Best wishes,


John Smith 14/10/21(Tue)06:52 No. 43855

I just had a bout of forgetfullness where I was trying to remember a horrific dream I had and why it unsettled me so. All I could remember was the horrible sensation of unease, but not the dream which inspired it.

Your reminder that the true horror is an unknown future which may have untold horrors and suffering for me and my family where a sufficient distraction from the horror forgotten, and have put my frustration at an unknown horror to rest with the respite of a known horror.

John Smith 14/08/23(Sat)09:25 No. 43582 [Reply]

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There was a minor irritant in my throat. Working the back of my tongue, I was able to pull it forward and retrieve it.

It was one of my own eyebrow hairs.

5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
John Smith 14/10/07(Tue)23:00 No. 43811

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Just Think! These are the Survivors' Tales of Wonder!

Imagine the Mediocre Horror of those who Failed to Live to Tell their Stories

John Smith 14/10/12(Sun)06:34 No. 43818

Sometimes I bring back up tiny sections of food. They're white and hard, but they yield when pressed. I know I haven't been eating baby teeth, so I can't explain it.

John Smith 14/10/21(Tue)03:26 No. 43854

I got dandruff in my eyebrow one time. I'm not sure how it happened. I don't get dandruff on my scalp.

John Smith 14/09/04(Thu)14:13 No. 43636 [Reply]

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Well then.

Today I was playing a game of solitaire at my local library, when I drew out a second four of diamonds. Upon checking the fresh pack of cards, I found that it had indeed been packed with two fours of diamonds. Needless to say, this threw off my entire evening plan as I was busy writing a letter of complaint to the playing card packing company.

When was the last time you wrote a letter of complaint, John?

6 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
John Smith 14/09/26(Fri)15:59 No. 43763

I know what you're talking about John.

I once found something grey oozy strings that looked like a small animal's intestine on my box of juice when I was a kid. My father wrote to the south-african company that made said juice, and they replied that it was some sort of non harmful algae caused by improper handling on the transportation, and even though it wasn't their fault according to them, they offered to send us another box. My father politely refused and never bought the juice again. I very missed it for years, it was a mix of all kinds of fruits possible. Most people I showed it to thought it was terrible, buy the idea of drinking a juice made of 20 kinds of fruits appeal to me.

John Smith 14/09/29(Mon)05:23 No. 43777

I go by train often.
Where I live, the train companies aren't the most reliable institutions around, and more often than not, something goes wrong.
I write about 4 every year.

John Smith 14/10/20(Mon)23:42 No. 43853

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About 2 years ago after I opened a new deck of cards and there was no 4 of diamonds.
They never contacted me.
Oh well cest la vie.

John Smith 14/08/27(Wed)17:24 No. 43589 [Reply]

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Haven't been here in a bit, and the same threads are still mostly on the first page.
That's nice.

So, how about that summer, huh?
It's been ok over here, so far.

5 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
John Smith 14/10/01(Wed)14:15 No. 43785

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Winter was warm and snowless, spring was nice, summer was cold and wet, and now autumn is trying to make up for it, it seems. On average, it's been autumn all year.

John Smith 14/10/13(Mon)08:02 No. 43822

I'm sorry to here that, John.

What kind of car is it?

John Smith 14/10/20(Mon)10:15 No. 43852

This summer was rather mild. It made my job much easier however. Usually toiling in the sun produced much more perspiration, but the unusually tepid weather in the North Eastern United States made for more comfortable conditions.

John Smith 14/10/11(Sat)23:26 No. 43817 [Reply]

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Today, I bought a dozen of donuts and ate two of them.
I should try to lose weight, John.

2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
John Smith 14/10/14(Tue)01:47 No. 43829

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I support your endeavor to improve your health John. Be sure to garner both the support and expectation of your community and family they will serve to inspire you through support and the desire to succeed in their eyes.

On the contrary John glucose is an entirely natural occurring substance. Perhaps your ire is more properly directed at high fructose corn syrup or other refined sugars.

John Smith 14/10/17(Fri)22:58 No. 43843

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The general formula is to eat less and exercise more, but it can be hard to start and maintain the effort. Perhaps you could take up a hobby that requires some exercise.

If you are a social person, you could join a neighborhood sports team. If you are not that social you could take up a constructive hobby like gardening or building sandcastles or somesuch. Even if all you did was outdoor photography, you'd end up hiking around and getting some exercise that way.

The hobby and the teammates become the motivation. The weight loss is the result.

John Smith 14/10/18(Sat)21:35 No. 43846

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I had an idea today to buy a lightbulb

John Smith 14/10/14(Tue)08:41 No. 43834 [Reply]

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If a cafe doesn't have wifi I usually go in there just so I can have a proper Morrissey about it later

1 post omitted. Click Reply to view.
John Smith 14/10/16(Thu)02:43 No. 43837

I actually don't care either except if i have to check email while traveling. If its there it's nice anyway.

John Smith 14/10/16(Thu)07:58 No. 43840

I live in a place where there is only one cafe in town that has wifi. It's a shared cellular connection verizon set up for us. Every resident and business in town shares it for processing credit cards too.

We had a festival a few weekends ago and several hundred yuppies showed up with cellphones at once, and crashed the entire thing. It took verizon a whole weekend to get it back up and running.

No one could pay for food or gas or anything with their credit cards, and the ATM machine wouldn't work either. It was pretty humorous.

John Smith 14/10/17(Fri)04:18 No. 43842

It is absolutely a boon while travelling, of little/no utility otherwise.

John Smith 14/10/08(Wed)18:39 No. 43813 [Reply]

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What's it like to have cancer?

John Smith 14/10/14(Tue)07:32 No. 43833

I don't really know. I would imagine it's something of a downer though.

John Smith 14/10/16(Thu)06:47 No. 43838

I would assume it's just like qny other zodiac sign.

John Smith 14/10/16(Thu)07:53 No. 43839


I resemble this statement. As if even mentioning astrology weren't embarrassingly stupid enough in general, it's always fun to have some bimbo ask you in a crowded restaurant "what sign are you"... and have to mutter quietly under your breath "cancer." Especially when she then doesn't hear you and says "WHAT?" and you yell "CANCER! I"M CANCER" and of course the entire restaurant hears this and falls silent. And gives you long sad looks and scowls of disgust. Then of course you have to explain that you don't HAVE cancer, you were just born in July... at which everyone gets mad at you for toying with their emotions.

It's kind of a hassle, OP.

John Smith 14/09/13(Sat)05:30 No. 43670 [Reply]

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Something occurred to me the other day. We spend much of our lives sleeping, but rarely is there discussion on proper form or technique. We might have something to gain from the examination of each other's personal sleeping habits. How do you sleep, John?

I prefer laying on my stomach with my head resting on a single pillow. Generally, I slide my hands under the pillow where it is pleasantly cool. I also find it rather comfortable to raise one of my knees up to just below hip level.

Just thought I would pick your brain for your preferred methods.

Warmest Regards,
John Smith

11 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
John Smith 14/09/23(Tue)19:44 No. 43744

I forgot to mention that it's easier to sleep on my back because my very inconsiderate sister kept throwing herself down on my bed while she was living here and now my formerly new pillow-top has a dip in it.


John Smith 14/09/26(Fri)16:01 No. 43764

How old was your sister john?

John Smith 14/10/14(Tue)11:12 No. 43835

I find that in order to fall asleep I must fulfill an obsessive compulsive series of events. First, I lie in bed and set my alarms then after lying on my back with my head on a pillow for some time I shift to my side where I stay for a few minutes. Finally I roll back on my back, but I take the pillow and ever so gently attempt to suffocate myself with it. I fall asleep with the weight of my arms pushing my only pillow up against my face as I lie upon my back. I find the whole series of events relaxing.

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