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/eh/ - Particularly uninteresting conversation
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John Smith ## Admin ## 13/03/17(Sun)06:48 No. 39798 [Reply] [Last 50 posts] Stickied
39798

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Dear John,

I have come to visit you for the first time in quite a while, and I must say that your board is dreadfully boring.
Now I know you may see this as a compliment, but I assure you that it is not. This was once a source of pride for me - conversations were held on many topics and the superiority of Pepsi-Cola was never in question. It seems that through the years you have all forgotten the statement of this board: Every conversation is uninteresting.
This does not mean that only excessively droll conversation is allowed. You may talk about anything, especially topics that may not be suited for other boards.

Why am I telling you this, John?
I fear the trends over that past year have created a circlejerk in shades of gray; every man stroking unenthusiastically and not a single climax reached. The board approaches an insipid singularity and the userbase stagnates and shrinks.

What do I feel I can do to halt this monotony?
Remove this monochrome veil.
Turn off the elevator's wail.
Take back your own names.
Move from completely uninteresting to mild interest.

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.


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John Smith 14/10/08(Wed)20:07 No. 43814

>>43714

The only problem with diet sodas of any kind is that they taste like absolute shit. They are uniformly and without exception the most vile tasting liquid an individual can swill. No one should be forced to drink diet soda and there is something wrong with those who do so voluntarily. QED.




John Smith ## Mod ## 12/11/23(Fri)22:44 No. 38299 [Reply] Locked Stickied
38299

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Welcome to /eh/

Where everything is just... eh...

/eh/ is not for crying, /rnb/ is for crying.


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John Smith ## Mod ## 12/11/23(Fri)22:46 No. 38300
38300

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The music is from the Tenpenny Tower lobby in Fallout 3.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFJKlwiYhnU




John Smith 14/08/23(Sat)09:25 No. 43582 [Reply]
43582

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There was a minor irritant in my throat. Working the back of my tongue, I was able to pull it forward and retrieve it.

It was one of my own eyebrow hairs.


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John Smith 14/10/12(Sun)06:34 No. 43818

Sometimes I bring back up tiny sections of food. They're white and hard, but they yield when pressed. I know I haven't been eating baby teeth, so I can't explain it.


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John Smith 14/10/21(Tue)03:26 No. 43854

I got dandruff in my eyebrow one time. I'm not sure how it happened. I don't get dandruff on my scalp.


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John Smith 14/10/29(Wed)23:20 No. 43872
43872

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>>43854
There are a kind of parasite that only live on your eyelashes, john. Everyone has them. They hide out down between them toward the roots during the day and come out and party at night.

Consider that next time you smooch your significant other on the eyelid.




John Smith 14/10/28(Tue)12:47 No. 43865 [Reply]
43865

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I am afraid of death.

What are your fears, John?


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John Smith 14/10/29(Wed)02:08 No. 43868

>>43865
None, anymore. I've tried to think of something over the last few days, but haven't been able to come up with anything. As an XC runner and mountain biker, I have long since mastered physical pain, and after brushes with death too numerous to count, I'm perfectly comfortable with it.

...but I think I've realized, there's just nothing left I can honestly say I care about enough to fear losing. By the third time I lost everything and got it all back, and watched friends and family die and tried to research my own ancestors, I learned how temporary and fleeting and utterly worthless every human and everything we've ever created on this moldy hunk of rock truly is.

Without a bright grand future ahead of us, I'm fine with anything that happens, including leaving it at any time.

Nothing left to lose means nothing to fear, OP.
Should have thought about that when they traded our space program for perpetual war.


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John Smith 14/10/29(Wed)04:14 No. 43869

>>43866
"Her" for me but I feel you John

Life is only good when it seems good through another's eyes as well


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John Smith 14/10/29(Wed)05:16 No. 43871
43871

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In my youth I underwent initiation to join a social club. One of the trials involved getting all of the participants extremely inebriated after which we were placed in a dark room with a candle and asked to share our fears with with the group.

I must admit John that death is certainly a common fear. Several of my compatriots elected death as their fear. I however chose control. I feared its loss. I feared that I would lose control over the things that happen to those that I love and myself. I was later praised for my romantic fear and mocked for almost alighting myself with the candle in the center of the room. I realize now that my fear is reality for most including myself. The things that happen to us are largely beyond our control. However, I do not see anyone cowering for their lack of control. We all have simply accepted this as part of our existence. This can be said of most fears. They exist as part of our condition. Life, Love, death we are destined to face each in turn either in their emptiness or their overwhelming burdens. We will all eventually accept them as they come.

If it's any consolation John once you're dead you won't really care anymore. You will simply cease, and it's probably not worth much time thinking about what will happen when you cease to sense yourself or the world around you.

Just try to be a good man John,

John Smith




John Smith 14/10/01(Wed)06:13 No. 43782 [Reply]
43782

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There were two yolks in my egg today, John.

I put it in my ramen.


5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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John Smith 14/10/08(Wed)20:12 No. 43815

>>43798

Corn?? No. I refuse to trust any food that comes out whole in my shit.


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John Smith 14/10/25(Sat)12:38 No. 43862

Usually I'll chop up some spring onion and carrot and put that in, along with a boiled egg and some bacon or cooked beef. It's pretty ok for the simple thing it is.


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John Smith 14/10/29(Wed)04:16 No. 43870

>>43799
Yeah until someone else makes it for me I'm not even going to try it

I really like tried and true food. I order biscuits and gravy for breakfast at every single restaurant




John Smith 14/10/12(Sun)06:44 No. 43819 [Reply]
43819

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There seems to be a hysteria brewing among people about a possible ebola outbreak in the United States. I live in New York City though, and I'm not worried at all. I'm just enjoying the days growing colder and the trees shedding. I hope to find a job in a resort lodge or a cluster of cabins this winter, washing dishes, or maybe sweeping floors. Then I will have time to read my books and watch the snow fall through the window as winter rolls in.

I'm not worried, friend. Are you?


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John Smith 14/10/20(Mon)03:46 No. 43851
43851

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>>43850
But John,
What will we do when no one cares if the floors are swept?

What will the children do when there are no more floors to sweep?

Does John intend to build more floors to sweep, floors that serve a great purpose, floors that will always need to be swept, or will he be kind enough to die so that others may sweep?

I fear John your attitude would permit John to slide into the void.

Best wishes,

John


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John Smith 14/10/21(Tue)06:52 No. 43855

>>43850
I just had a bout of forgetfullness where I was trying to remember a horrific dream I had and why it unsettled me so. All I could remember was the horrible sensation of unease, but not the dream which inspired it.

Your reminder that the true horror is an unknown future which may have untold horrors and suffering for me and my family where a sufficient distraction from the horror forgotten, and have put my frustration at an unknown horror to rest with the respite of a known horror.


>>
John Smith 14/10/25(Sat)17:34 No. 43864

>>43819
Jack Torrance?




John Smith 14/09/13(Sat)05:30 No. 43670 [Reply]
43670

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John,

Something occurred to me the other day. We spend much of our lives sleeping, but rarely is there discussion on proper form or technique. We might have something to gain from the examination of each other's personal sleeping habits. How do you sleep, John?

I prefer laying on my stomach with my head resting on a single pillow. Generally, I slide my hands under the pillow where it is pleasantly cool. I also find it rather comfortable to raise one of my knees up to just below hip level.

Just thought I would pick your brain for your preferred methods.

Warmest Regards,
John Smith


13 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
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John Smith 14/10/14(Tue)11:12 No. 43835

>>43670
I find that in order to fall asleep I must fulfill an obsessive compulsive series of events. First, I lie in bed and set my alarms then after lying on my back with my head on a pillow for some time I shift to my side where I stay for a few minutes. Finally I roll back on my back, but I take the pillow and ever so gently attempt to suffocate myself with it. I fall asleep with the weight of my arms pushing my only pillow up against my face as I lie upon my back. I find the whole series of events relaxing.


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John Smith 14/10/24(Fri)04:25 No. 43860

>>43764
She'd be about...36 I think?


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John Smith 14/10/24(Fri)04:26 No. 43861

>>43764
35 or so I believe.




John Smith 14/10/08(Wed)18:39 No. 43813 [Reply]
43813

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What's it like to have cancer?


3 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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John Smith 14/10/23(Thu)06:14 No. 43857

>>43839

John I apologize, but I thought if you were born in July you were a Leo.

Lets clear this up John.


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John Smith 14/10/23(Thu)08:52 No. 43858

>>43857
July 12th, which maketh me a cancerous lesion upon the face of humanity.


>>
John Smith 14/10/23(Thu)21:04 No. 43859

>>43858
Fellow cancer-man here I am.




John Smith 14/09/04(Thu)14:13 No. 43636 [Reply]
43636

File 140983278764.png - (4.64KB , 200x250 , 4Diamonds.png )

Well then.

Today I was playing a game of solitaire at my local library, when I drew out a second four of diamonds. Upon checking the fresh pack of cards, I found that it had indeed been packed with two fours of diamonds. Needless to say, this threw off my entire evening plan as I was busy writing a letter of complaint to the playing card packing company.

When was the last time you wrote a letter of complaint, John?


6 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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John Smith 14/09/26(Fri)15:59 No. 43763

>>43759
I know what you're talking about John.

I once found something grey oozy strings that looked like a small animal's intestine on my box of juice when I was a kid. My father wrote to the south-african company that made said juice, and they replied that it was some sort of non harmful algae caused by improper handling on the transportation, and even though it wasn't their fault according to them, they offered to send us another box. My father politely refused and never bought the juice again. I very missed it for years, it was a mix of all kinds of fruits possible. Most people I showed it to thought it was terrible, buy the idea of drinking a juice made of 20 kinds of fruits appeal to me.


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John Smith 14/09/29(Mon)05:23 No. 43777

I go by train often.
Where I live, the train companies aren't the most reliable institutions around, and more often than not, something goes wrong.
I write about 4 every year.


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John Smith 14/10/20(Mon)23:42 No. 43853
43853

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About 2 years ago after I opened a new deck of cards and there was no 4 of diamonds.
They never contacted me.
Oh well cest la vie.




John Smith 14/08/27(Wed)17:24 No. 43589 [Reply]
43589

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Haven't been here in a bit, and the same threads are still mostly on the first page.
That's nice.

So, how about that summer, huh?
It's been ok over here, so far.


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John Smith 14/10/01(Wed)14:15 No. 43785
43785

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Winter was warm and snowless, spring was nice, summer was cold and wet, and now autumn is trying to make up for it, it seems. On average, it's been autumn all year.


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John Smith 14/10/13(Mon)08:02 No. 43822

>>43770
I'm sorry to here that, John.

What kind of car is it?


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John Smith 14/10/20(Mon)10:15 No. 43852

This summer was rather mild. It made my job much easier however. Usually toiling in the sun produced much more perspiration, but the unusually tepid weather in the North Eastern United States made for more comfortable conditions.




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