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/elit/ - Erotic Literature
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Movies & TV 24/7 via Channel7: Web Player, .m3u file. Music via Radio7: Web Player, .m3u file.

WebM support has been added on a trial basis. Please check this thread for more info.

BFORE YOU POST, KNOW THIS! Cowboy!6UZGZTHCak ## Mod ## 10/06/30(Wed)19:25 No. 8547 ID: 5eefb3 [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts] Stickied

ALL REQUESTS FOR STORIES OR STORY CONTENT ARE TO GO IN THIS THREAD! ALL STORY REQUESTS NOT POSTED IN THIS THREAD WILL BE DELETED AND THE POSTER MAY BE BANNED. ALL COMMENTS QUESTIONS, AND OTHER OF THE LIKE ARE TO GO HERE AS WELL! Also, if you don't have constructive comments, keep them to yourself. Or you'll get banned for being an ass. This is not /b/, you have been warned.

Make sure that you check out http://asstr.org or http://storiesonline.net, or any other of the fine erotic literature sites, or GOOGLE IT! THEY MAY HAVE THE STORY ALREADY THERE!…Where ever that may be….Also, any plagiarism will result in a BAN!

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Anonymous 14/09/01(Mon)03:31 No. 22363 ID: 124325

Trying to find a story about a guy with a humongous penis who engages in self-fellatio.

It begins with a "woe is me, big dick problems" but one day he overhears some guys at school talking about how they found a porno with some contortionist girl who is able to lick her own pussy, and one of them says, "If I could do that I'd never leave the house!" He is inspired to go home and try it for himself.

In the second chapter his habit of blowing himself is discovered by his mother, who resolves to find her son a healthy outlet for his sexual energy, and the mom introduces the son to her friend who delivers a blowjob far better than he could administer to himself.

READ BEFORE POSTING! Cowboy!6UZGZTHCak ## Mod ## 10/06/30(Wed)19:11 No. 8546 ID: 5eefb3 [Reply] Locked Stickied

This is a thread for ALL AUTHORS and READERS. Though you are not required to, I would recommend that you save your story in a post able form, this is to ensure that your story stays preserved and that if 7chan is to go down AGAIN. Also, if anyone has something available as far as web space for an archive, please e-mail me at 1subject@live.com.
I also recommend to everyone that you visit us at the IRC at irc.7chan.org in /elit/ channel. Research it and please stop in, any questions you have about well, ANYTHING can be answered there. There are many good different types of IRC clients, some can attach right onto your browser. So find one and set it up.
3litchan is gone as far as I know. Don’t asking nothing more, ‘cause on that subject….I don’t know nothing’, I just work here.

The Club 2013 wondash!v4DxM5avR6 13/05/08(Wed)23:26 No. 18894 ID: cfb7ee [Reply] [Last 50 posts]

My stories tend to involve women placed into sexual situations against their will (nc). Often the physical restraints and stimulation involve racks and machines of one kind or another. I don't consider myself a great (or even good) writer. I just write what turns me on. My first story about “the Club” was written back in 1996. This story was started in 2010 and continues to refine the Club world. I've completed about 10 (short) chapters. Here's the first chapter. If people seem interested, I'll post some more.

The Club 2010

Chapter 1

I heard about this place called the Club, that's the name, just 'the Club'. A business associate of mine told me a story over a few beers while we were at a conference in Dubai. He had been told about this club from a supposed member. Names are never discussed, so if you tell my story, please, never mention my name.

So anyway, back to the Club. My business associate (friend) tells me he heard about this place where all the women are sex slaves for the clients. But these girls are not just acting or into this kind of stuff. They're all kidnapped and somehow turned into sexual nymphs. All ages (above some cutoff) and all types of girls! I asked him if he knew where the place was, or how to become a member, but my friend's friend wouldn't say. It seems you need to be invited.

For the next few months I occasionally searched the internet for clues to the Club. But given that the name was rather generic, the queries were useless. To be honest, I wasn't even sure I believed it existed. Still, I was intrigued by the thought that this place could fulfill a sexual fantasy of mine. For now, let's leave it at that.

Eventually, I started to drop little hints about the Club whenever I was on business out of the country. I'd be talking with someone at bar and ask “Have you ever heard of this place called The Club?” “It's like a gentlemen's club, very exclusive and very secretive.” Nobody knew anything – or at least that's what they would say.
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Anonymous 14/08/09(Sat)12:24 No. 22222 ID: 971936

more please

wondash!v4DxM5avR6 14/08/23(Sat)23:40 No. 22336 ID: 63bf29

Sorry for the long delay on the next chapter(s). I hope to get back to writing soon.

Anonymous 14/09/02(Tue)12:05 No. 22371 ID: 971936

No problem, man. Thanks for keeping us posted though! I really appreciate you not just leaving us hanging. Take your time. I'm really looking forward to it.

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look Univited/Uncle+Rick 14/09/01(Mon)10:18 No. 22364 ID: a887c0 [Reply]

If the text had come from anyone except Megan, I would have simply added their name to my kill-list, and gone back to sleep. Instead, I grabbed my phone and gave her a call.

“I'm going to strangle you.” I said, by way of greeting.

“Why? You at work, cuz?” She sounded tipsy, but lucid, which was actually rather good for her. and she seemed to be forcing a playful tone, which meant she was worried. Damnit.

“I just had three twelve hour shifts in a row during finals week, because my boss is a sadistic twat. I had one final yesterday between my second and third shifts, and my last final is coming up in... just under seven hours. I literally just crawled in bed eleven minutes ago. You'd better be dying.”

“Oh, Ethan, I'm ssoo sorry. I'll be fine. Good luck on the final, and stuff.”

I sighed. “Are you somewhere safe?”

“For the moment, yeah. It's alright, we'll find someone to give me a ride.”

Megan wouldn't have called me on a weeknight if she'd had any decent options, and I didn't want to think about what kind of person they'd find willing to give a bunch of drunk junior high girls a ride. I wasn't be able to rest easy until I heard she was somewhere safe anyway, so I resigned myself to the innevitable and said, “Don't bother, just text me the address. I'm on my way.”
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Anonymous 14/09/02(Tue)04:16 No. 22368 ID: f5b1c2

no tags, no read

Kal 14/09/02(Tue)04:16 No. 22369 ID: 9ce57a

Any plans on continuing this one, Rick? It's rather good.

Univited/Uncle+Rick 14/09/02(Tue)04:50 No. 22370 ID: a887c0


Hey, sorry about that, man. I usually add the tags after my title, but it was so long that it got cut off without me noticing.

My stories are always Mg centric, with various kinks thrown in along the way. I've got a thing for anal, but that doesn't really come into play in this story, at least not yet. I'm not sure how to describe this one. Piercings, bear hugs, and daddy issues maybe? I try to subvert most fetishes anyway, find the heart of what makes something sexy rather than just slapping on a label, but maybe that's just me talking out of my ass Anyway, sorry about that.


Started the update three times now, and nothing seems to feel quite right. I definitely want to write a follow up, but it may end up something of a post-script if I can't find the right arc.

Either way, I'm glad you like it. I'm having a lot of fun with these characters.

Roommates (loli) Anonymous 12/10/06(Sat)11:32 No. 17319 ID: 5c8966 [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]

It all started when I was 19, in my first semester at college. I'd moved away from home and into my first apartment, and got my first roommate as well. He was a year younger than me, but unlike me he hadn't spent a year after graduating highschool saving up his money for tuition and rent. His parents died in an avalanche at a ski resort, and between their considerable savings and the payout from the life insurance, he could afford college and not have to work for years. I hadn't known it when I met him at orientation and we decided to share an apartment, but he also had custody of his 11 year old sister.

The apartment was big, and nicer than I could have ever afforded on my own, so all three of us had separate bedrooms (hers was supposed to be a laundry room or something originally.). I also discovered my roommate was a bit of a dick who neglected his little sister.

I don't think it was intentional, more a result of losing his parents and having to adjust his plans for the future to revolve around caring for his sibling, and he probably wasn't ready for that sort of responsibility. But unless he needed to give her a ride or buy her something she needed, he basically didn't interact with her. He also barely did anything with me; maybe once a week he'd play video games with me, but he spent nearly all his time in class or shut in his room studying.

His little sister was cute, with her blue eyes, freckles, and short, light brown hair, but obviously way too young for me. She didn't play with dolls or anything, so I guess she was mature for her age, but she also spent all her time shut in her room when she wasn't at school. And I don't think she had any friends at her new school either.

After a month or so with my new roommates, we'd settled into a routine. If they weren't exactly friendly, they weren't bad either; quiet, clean, and they were the only way I could afford a really nice apartment just a block from campus.

I wish I'd known then what I know now. It'd have saved me a lot of grief.

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Anonymous 14/08/29(Fri)00:04 No. 22353 ID: 10fceb

Just found this thread today, and oh my god. This is the best piece of elit I've ever read. OP, please keep doing what you're doing and don't listen to anyone else. I LOVE the slow pace and hints of romance. Will be checking this thread every day now. Also, as a self proclaimed artist I took the liberty to make a few sketches of the scenes from your story.

Anonymous 14/08/31(Sun)06:18 No. 22359 ID: 763f61

Well I just went to make a document for this story, and its almost 35k. Has anyone else made a document and is it online? Because if so you may want to link it.

Also OP if you ever make a asstr account LINK IT! I want to follow you, if I knew where you lived I would be following you IRL.

OP!!L1ZTV3LGZl 14/09/01(Mon)01:30 No. 22362 ID: ca1d9d


My story has fan art?

Let's see it.

iCity Tales by AnonyMPC (various tags, cyberpunk, violence) AnonyMPC 14/07/30(Wed)22:09 No. 22139 ID: a609fb [Reply]

Hi, I'm AnonyMPC. You might remember me from such stories as "My Private Camwhore," "Relatively Powered", and "Yet Another Thing That Isn't The Next My Private Camwhore."

Well, after a long time where I was working on various stories and making very slow progress, I got hit with an idea that caught my imagination on fire. It started with the artist NeckRomancer on HF, who drew a few pieces inspired my stories, and we got to talking. An offhanded comment by me made him suggest a story idea, a SF one that had a sort of cyberpunk vibe. It was a good idea, and I'm actually a fan of old-school cyberpunk and all it's tropes, but I didn't want to tackle it. I was too busy, and too far behind, with other stuff. But it reminded me of another idea I had (based on an idea granted to me by a fellow named kludo I met in an artist's stream), also set in a cyberpunk world. And I began to toss around the idea of a set of stories set in the same city, and came up with a few ideas, and NeckRomancer suggested a couple more, and finally, I realized I was enjoying the process more than I had writing in a while, and what's more, I had 5 stories that I thought fit together pretty well, I knew exactly where they began and ended and how they fit together. They could be short, I told myself, maybe one sex scene each, so it wouldn't be too much of a distraction from my other projects. And I started writing the first, getting more work done in one day than I had in all the other stories I was working on combined in the past week, and I had that glorious feeling I hadn't had in a long time where my mind was racing with things to write even while I was asleep.

So I figured I had to stick with it, even if it meant everything else getting delayed, again, for overall output, the best strategy is sticking with the stuff I'm excited with most.
I finished the first story, and am started on the second. I'm not going to officially post it to my site (http://www.asstr.org/~AnonyMPC/ if you've forgotten), or my HF page, until all five are done and cross-checked. But, because I have a history with this site, I thought I'd post them one-by-one here and here only. You can, hopefully, be my beta-test, so I can catch any major issues. This also means it'll be slightly less edited than they usually are, and I plan to tighten it up.

A few notes of things I'm especially looking for, or need to say up front:
Classic cyberpunk, which I'm a fan of, doesn't really mesh perfectly with computers and the Internet as it exists today. So I've done a bit of a bastard fusion and used some handwaving of vague historical events that have altered how things work. I'm certainly willing to hear if you think anything doesn't make sense on that level (networks don&# Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

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Anonymous 14/08/08(Fri)02:58 No. 22212 ID: 89e49b

This is your reminder that there has now been more time between MPC4 and MPC5 then there was between MPC3 and MPC4.

Anonymous 14/08/16(Sat)05:46 No. 22289 ID: e382a4

Very enjoyable. Loved the world building, especially with Jeter's dialogue. Personally, I like when you touch on real world issues or cultural references, and cyber punk especially wouldn't be complete without some of that commentary. If I had to complain, I would say this story is light on character so far, due to the anonymity of the narrator and protagonist. From your comments here it sounds like the next installments are already addressing this, though.

The "POV" show premise is just fresh enough to get me to read elit again - can't wait to see where you go with it.

lovelovetinylovestories!2UMHv8AVGk 14/09/01(Mon)01:21 No. 22361 ID: bd6b8f

Found this thread by way of googling the text "iCity Tales" and going through withdrawal from your excellent work. The only reason I am tripfagging is because I am trying to start a blog doing reviews of ontopic erotic fiction like your own. It'll also work as a resource for refinding anything I liked as it seems any time someone starts any kind of repository of this type of fiction it is swiftly shutdown one way or another. (See Red Rose stories or more recently the Loliwood studios site on ASSTR) It makes it difficult to find anything.

On to your story as posted...

It seemed like this chapter was intended to be very experimental and a way to introduce the world and its history without being too dense and doing too much of an info dump. By combining the POV (love what you did there) with the primary viewer of the broadcast, the pontificating of the mercenary, bits and pieces given out by the "Fly" you were able to introduce large chunks of the world without having to do the literary equivalent of a history lesson just to begin the story. That worked well in my opinion. It was the difference between the Star Wars opening sequence and the David Lynch version of the Dune film.

I also agreed with other posters that the technology you're hinting at is very intriguing and what little you've shown us so far really makes me look forward to seeing more as it gets posted. The bit suggested with text being used subliminally was interesting and made me quiver with anticipation at what other uses for the hinted capabilities we'll be seeing in the future.

I'm not sure how you'll be tying everything together, or even if you'll be needing to tie the various vignettes together? I confess I am intrigued and appalled at the way POV (the character) interacted with her victims. It would make me feel better one way or another if we were eventually told more about both her and "the Fly" to know whether she is actually being hurt during these adventures or whether innocent people are being targeted. It'd be nice to know what criteria gets used to choose the targets.

I'll admit nothing major stood out on the grammar or spelling aspect of things but then I wasn't really looking for anything in that direction either. I will also confess that while the story did much for me intellectually I was left cold by the sex. There were too many people involved or maybe I just couldn't get into the voyeuristic aspect of it? I'm assuming that this is a lack on my part, not on yours.

Will be looking forward to catching the next installment when available.

Lara Croft Is My Guvnor (FM, Fm1st, Lara Croft, various straight sex and v Anonymous 09/07/11(Sat)10:54 No. 12 ID: 04c4aa [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]

This is a re-upload of the LARA CROFT SEX CHRONICLES!

Summary: A young lad is hired on to work for a famous treasure-hunter, and gets more experience from the job than he could have ever imagined.

Lara Croft Is My Guvnor (FM, Fm1st, Lara Croft, various straight sex and voyeurism)

Chapter 1

Winston Smith walked out to the pool area with a tray of iced tea in his hands. He hated going outside on hot days like this, especially since he always wore his stuffy butler's suit. Lara greeted him with a smile as she laid in a lounge chair, soaking up the sun in nothing more than a small white bikini and sunglasses.
"Thank you Winston," Lara said as her butler set the tray on the table beside her and she grabbed a glass.
Winston regarded the view around the pool. The whole area was a mess, with pool accessories and toys scattered all over the deck area. The surface of the pool was littered with leaves and stray paper and plastic items that had blown in on the wind.
"Have you finally given some thought about hiring new help for the pool, Miss Croft?" he asked.
"I know," Lara said with a bit of frustration. "I just haven't had the time lately," she said as she took another sip from her iced tea.
"Hmmm," Winston said, casting a slow glance at Lara as she sipped and sighed, stretching out her gleaming body under the hot sun.
"Yes, well, I've made note of the requirements for the pool maintenance, and I believe that we can satisfy them and do a little good for the community at the same time."
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Anonymous 14/06/30(Mon)05:47 No. 22002 ID: 382939


Anonymous 14/06/30(Mon)06:05 No. 22003 ID: fd2c20

this thread is FIVE YEARS OLD will you shut the fuck up and let it die already

Anonymous 14/08/31(Sun)06:25 No. 22360 ID: 763f61


NO! This story will never die!

Fucking Appendix(now with editing) Soli 14/08/07(Thu)06:52 No. 22201 ID: cd8c01 [Reply]

Hey guys. Soli again. At least a couple people seemed interested in the rough draft for the first chapter of Fucking Appendix I posted yesterday. So as promised, here is the edited first chapter, along with the second. If you like it, let me know. If its a piece of shit, let me know that too. Either way, be sure to check back often, as I will likely be updating frequently with new chapters. Once again, I give you Fucking Appendix. Hope you enjoy.
I read the words on the screen again, sure I must be misreading them. They couldn't say what I thought they did, and yet there they were.

"Do as I say, or Eve dies."


I guess it really started the day my little sister, Eve, came down with appendicitis. Even though she was three years younger, fourteen to my seventeen, we were always close, possibly owing to the fact we were both enrolled in an online form of homeschooling. That meant that for most of our lives, we were each other's only constant contact, and I always thought of her as a friend as well as a sister.

She took after our mom in that she was a petite, freckly ginger, tiny all over except for the ass and b cup breasts she had recently developed, and was maybe a bit overly proud of. It was often a topic around the house when she insisted on walking around in just her bra and panties, and I often had to politely suggest she get dressed, to which she would usually just roll her eyes, and maybe put on an overly small pair of shorts.

Though she was never exactly bubbly, she was always generally cheerful, and rarely complained about anything. That's why, when I came into the living room one summer afternoon and found her curled up on the couch looking less than happy, I decided to try and cheer her up. "What's wrong sis, got the red tide blues?" I teased as I plopped down beside her and gave her a playful nudge in the side.

I expected a playful smack, or maybe for her to help a throw pillow to live up to its name. What I got instead, was a yelp of pain from Eve, as she squeezed into a tighter ball and tears began to stream down her cheeks.

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Kal 14/08/23(Sat)18:22 No. 22335 ID: 9129fe

How dare you visit the second page, back to the front with you!

Anonymous 14/08/27(Wed)17:19 No. 22349 ID: 9c243c

Great story so far.
I think i know where this is going but i guess i will just have to wait and see.
Do you have other stories? and if so where can i find them?

Soli 14/08/30(Sat)19:00 No. 22358 ID: cd8c01

Hey guys, sorry about the delay on the next chapter. I've been having to work overtime lately because a coworker quit, so writing has been put on the back burner a bit. I hope to have the next chapter out this weekend.

This is actually the only story I have posted so far. I have ideas for some others but they aren't written yet. Once this one if finished I'll likely start an asstr page, and begin another story.

Fair Game (Fantasy, OC) Ahiylen 14/05/21(Wed)12:51 No. 21807 ID: 7068f9 [Reply]


Long ago I was a member of a clan of the Bilewood, we were a fea clan, and we were far from honest or virtuous. Each clan fought; they fought themselves, each other, and the important fights fell in the shadows. My clan however was a subordinate family of Oracles in service of a warrior caste clan, together we were one of the most powerful.

I was an Acolyte of the Oracles, but the processed used to awaken our magic would often take days, months, or in my case more than a year to subside. To put the process simply─ a part of your aura is suspended outside your body through a mark the more you can channel out the longer it takes to return and control it, and the more powerful you are expected to be. I was extremely powerful but unable to focus my aura, and the only Acolyte in decades to actually make the mark more powerful instead of absorb it.

Long before I could begin to master myself my clan was conquered. It’s the nature of the Bilewood that the weak are weeded out by the strong, and the constant strife left the Bilewood’s clans resistant to the outside world; that was until the Cleft clan began trading for arcane weaponry to take over other clans, and trading away slaves for more weaponry. I know not how the fighting went. As it went the priests and oracles were hidden away; with me amongst the acolytes of them. We were surrendered as slaves in what ever conditions our clans made for peace.

The sorting took days, and much more than the acolytes were surrendered to them; the least renown of us were left to be sorted days later. I felt lucky that I’d be sorted initially with the commoners.

Then in happend I was addressed by a strangely dressed soldier in loose fit black and gray layers of cloth and fine chain mesh. He had midnight blue hair that fell down in spike locks around his eyes and held back by his pale ears and falling haphazardly around his neck.

I was picked so very late as I’d been in civilian clothing, a vine framed blouse of tan ivy fiber falling loosely just above darker brown short split skirt that I fastened just below my belly button to hide the Oliva Mar marking; which had become a point of shame in my life. The whole outfit blended with my dark olive skin, and long butt length auburn hair which I had in a three quarters length braid revealing my long black and red sifte’ ears.

(Sifte’ are a wilde fea who are considered by most to be ferral of our Vexan and Aurder cousens. Aesthetically we have wider noses with longer and wider ears than most other fea, and much like the Vexen we often are born with beastial eyes, earthen skin, stripping in our hair, and less often we have stripping and other dark patterns on our faces and bodies.)
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Anonymous 14/08/27(Wed)19:34 No. 22350 ID: fac323

Well, that ended very abruptly. The writing is good, but it seems quite heavy on world-building for an elit story. I guess there's no inherent contradiction there, but you might find that people who are reading for pleasure in the physical sense don't always have the patience for it.

Ahiylen 14/08/29(Fri)17:23 No. 22355 ID: 7068f9

As it stands Chapter 4 is going to be delightfully short, so I should be able to post it shortly enough. (if not at least a excerpt to finish that scene should you all be interested in something so vanilla.)

Funny side note; the world building is something I'd done quite a while ago for another story in the same realm. There is a depth to the character I really enjoy, and I feel that getting to know here will help make her easier to empathize with.

This is half for me and half for you guys and gals. This is a project for me to stretch my legs as a writer with a subject that's altogether more interesting to my lewd mind, but the growing part of this project comes from feedback like yours.

So just know that I welcome and hope for more comments from you and anyone else who has given me feedback.

CH 4 Excerpt Ahiylen 14/08/30(Sat)15:11 No. 22357 ID: 7068f9

──I’m sorry for the abrupt stop but the tone has to change for a minute here kitten. I’d become something new to myself. I felt and lived unlike I’d ever had before, and for all I knew then it was but a dream. Every fact lead to that being a dream but her smile─her feelings─and my own were impossible for me to have fabricated as I was then. I saw that look in her eye and that sliver of doubt left me.──

She was away from me now─the kiss broken and the storm was unraveling, and yet still the lust did not subside; just the chaos. I was becoming clear; the bond broken but the luster did not fade.

Her hair cascaded around her the golden stubborn locks bouncing and swaying softly with the rise and fall of her breath. The locks brightly framed her face the pale yellow starkly contrasting the deep gold of her flashing fae eyes. Her pupils completely overtaken by her aura like a sheen of gold had encompassed them.

The look seemed distant like a blind woman’s eyes wide open grasping for some glimpse of the world, yet instead her eyes were wide because they took in the whole of the world around her. I was aware of every naked inch of my body that shone in her eyes. I felt my skin against the sharpness of the air.

I didn’t move. I just tried to will her down to me, and her lewd smile just grew wider.

“I will not make you beg.” She said as she dropped down to my neck.

She planted a soft kiss just above my collarbone and I felt shivers run down my body. Each kiss that followed was deeper and hungrier than the last as she made her way up my neck. First it was soft suckling, then the flick of her soft tongue sailing across my skin. When she was just below my ear she nipped softly at my neck, again and again at that same spot, as the skin got more sensitive and my body began to squirm she caressed the skin with her tongue.

I had begun to let out a soft coo of a noise, but as her tongue ran across my skin it pitched higher into a hard moan.
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A collection of Short Stories !JUD7F1CtU. 11/06/14(Tue)18:06 No. 12588 ID: e320fb [Reply] [Last 50 posts]

I decided I may as well share what I write when I decide to write something. Most of it will be Futa on Male but anything with MaleSub in it will be included. Anyway, here's the first one involving a dominant Futa and her apparent bitch.

Call girl - A short story.
Tags: Futa on male, futadom, reluctant

The phone rang.
I don't know why, but there was always this sense of anticipation and dread I have with picking it up. Not knowing who it was and knowing who it could be was almost a game of Russian Roulette I had with myself. Now, it happened almost daily. I picked up the phone Gun to my head - pull the trigger. "Hey there, moll" a feline, scratchy yet appeasingly seductive voice replied, female in nature.
"Uuuuh, hey… Tash." I responded, not unnerved but unhappy. "Parents are gone. Come around" she demanded in a domineering tone. "Uuuhh, look, Tash… I don't know about today, it's not really a good t-" "Come around" she repeated, cutting me off. "Tash, I was just about to say that I don't really want to because I'm really busy, and… you know"
There was a disenchanting silence - shredding any hope of worming my way out.
"No. I don't. Come arooound" she said again, this time with the last word drawn out, as if she sounded wanting, but not desperate. "I know you really, really want to" she claimed, her voice thinning to an innocent tone. She was pulling all the strings for this one. She usually did.
"I just-"
"Come around"
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Status report !JUD7F1CtU. 14/04/10(Thu)13:52 No. 21528 ID: 587f96

Good news, everyone.
I've written and re-written my long story about 3 or 4 times and I've ended with a draft that I like. The characters have depth and grow, the conversation isn't too dull and the story has direction (and a complication!)
I'm at a point where I'm finally happy with it and I've written about 10 chapters (40,000 words), only the first 2 are at a postable standard but I won't start posting till the story is almost finished. One; because I don't want to leave a full story half way through and two; because I like getting feedback from you guys. I want you guys to choose the ending as much as I choose it. I'll be posting a chapter basically weekly all the way through. Expect to see it being posted up in about 3-4 months or before Also, there will be a few short stories here and there from the perspective of people other than the main character popping up.
It'd be fair to note that the story is inspired by real events, of course in these real events there were no dickgirls. It's heavily inspired by Majalis' Raqueal (which I am eternally in love with) and I use a lot of scenes from my short stories. Basically, if you like the stuff posted here you'll like this story. It's slow, very slow, and deals with the mental anguish the main character has upon realising the girl he is in love with has a penis, as do her closest friends.

The basic plot goes like this:
Two friends who've been gypsying around America with guitars end up in San Francisco and upon their first night there they run into a group of Neo-Hippys who, being great people invite our heroes back to their house. The pair don't realise any of them have dicks until they've gotten to know them and had sexual encounters with them because these bitches are crafty. After a few days it behind making itself clear and our heroes flake off and are like lol no fuck that. Then they each go back in secret, driven by curiosity and desire hiding itself in fear. When they both realise they're going back they have a long talk and come to the conclusion that 'they don't mind' as long as they're still girls.
Over time the girls' actions little by little get more and more dominant until finally, after gender bender house party and with the help of strange drugs they give in completely. From this point the protagonist has a serious identity crisis and several love interests, all of whom either pale in comparison to this 'girl', scared off by this 'girl' or taken over by this girl.
The girls also, spending time with our heroes realise what the really want from a partner. There is love, there is loss, there are drugs and there is lots of sex.

I'm getting to a point where I'm happy with it and I'm excited to show it to you guys.

!JUD7F1CtU. 14/04/10(Thu)14:29 No. 21529 ID: 587f96

Oh also, thank you. This is very flattering.
If you want some advice read on, if not, skip to the end.

Short sentences are good only sometimes and for situations where you want to make sure it sounds final or that there is no other option. I like using long sentences because then you can place more imagery and there is more space for transition words - these can give a good sense of who is doing the controlling and who is doing the obeying.

>"Down" she bid me, and I was on the floor on my knees. She was harsher than usual. This was not going to be easy. Then I saw a mischievous light in her eyes. She stood up. "Put your arms under the cushion."
Could become
>"Down" she bid me, and I was on the floor on my knees. She was harsher than usual so I could tell that this was not going to be easy. I saw a mischievous light in her eyes as she stood up. "Put your arms under the cushion."
Which also flows a little better. Lots of short sentences usually make it so that there is a "Then she... Then I... I did... She then... etc" which sounds a little like a shopping list. Try to mix it up a bit. Short sentences are great for things like
"She came." or "My hands were stuck." or something else. It implies finality or a lack of options, especially in dob/sub elit.

Descriptions, man. There are some details which I think are better left as open as possible, descriptions of the protagonist I like to leave as open as possible to allow the reader to insert themselves in there as easily as possible but sometimes descriptions are really important.
>Her tall, slender figure, perfectly shaped legs leading to the cutest and roundest butt you could imagine, a waist so delicate that you would be scared to grab harshly lest you break it… Her hands were as if made up of millions of tiny, white, radiant butterflies. She always has a captivating smile on her face, and you could spend a lifetime looking deep into her dark blue eyes and die a happy man.

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Anonymous 14/08/30(Sat)01:27 No. 22356 ID: e2cae1

Go on guyz your fans are waiting

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