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/elit/ - Erotic Literature
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Movies & TV 24/7 via Channel7: Web Player, .m3u file. Music via Radio7: Web Player, .m3u file.

WebM support has been added on a trial basis.UPDATE: WebM is now available sitewide! Please check this thread for more info.

BFORE YOU POST, KNOW THIS! Cowboy!6UZGZTHCak ## Mod ## 10/06/30(Wed)19:25 No. 8547 ID: 5eefb3 [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts] Stickied

ALL REQUESTS FOR STORIES OR STORY CONTENT ARE TO GO IN THIS THREAD! ALL STORY REQUESTS NOT POSTED IN THIS THREAD WILL BE DELETED AND THE POSTER MAY BE BANNED. ALL COMMENTS QUESTIONS, AND OTHER OF THE LIKE ARE TO GO HERE AS WELL! Also, if you don't have constructive comments, keep them to yourself. Or you'll get banned for being an ass. This is not /b/, you have been warned.

Make sure that you check out http://asstr.org or http://storiesonline.net, or any other of the fine erotic literature sites, or GOOGLE IT! THEY MAY HAVE THE STORY ALREADY THERE!…Where ever that may be….Also, any plagiarism will result in a BAN!


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Anonymous 14/09/11(Thu)14:07 No. 22416 ID: 661596

Several years ago when the last incarnation of not4chan still existed, somebody was writing a story there about the growing relationship between a young man and a little girl. To the best of my knowledge it was all lost when the board went down, but I've always wondered if it was continued elsewhere.

Story opens with a very long non-sex description of the MC driving a sports car around in the hills and crashing it or something and he winds up having to do court mandated community service. He meets the little girl at a community center or a school and helps her with her homework (math?). The girl has a shitty homelife, and at some point the MC goes to her house and discovers her mom is physically abusive. Don't recall exactly how far they get sexually, but I know she at least masturbates thinking about him, and maybe she jerks him off at least once?

I the author took long breaks between posts, and I think at one point lost some of it either to a hard drive crash or a laptop theft. Sound familiar to anybody?




READ BEFORE POSTING! Cowboy!6UZGZTHCak ## Mod ## 10/06/30(Wed)19:11 No. 8546 ID: 5eefb3 [Reply] Locked Stickied

This is a thread for ALL AUTHORS and READERS. Though you are not required to, I would recommend that you save your story in a post able form, this is to ensure that your story stays preserved and that if 7chan is to go down AGAIN. Also, if anyone has something available as far as web space for an archive, please e-mail me at 1subject@live.com.
I also recommend to everyone that you visit us at the IRC at irc.7chan.org in /elit/ channel. Research it and please stop in, any questions you have about well, ANYTHING can be answered there. There are many good different types of IRC clients, some can attach right onto your browser. So find one and set it up.
3litchan is gone as far as I know. Don’t asking nothing more, ‘cause on that subject….I don’t know nothing’, I just work here.
Adios,
Cowboy




Crusade Gone Awry Tater Chips 14/07/27(Sun)13:13 No. 22123 ID: 62b1d7 [Reply]

Howdy ya'll! I'm a writer, a published one (nothing you've read, nothing I will point out). A very odd (and dirty) idea popped in my head one day and I decided to write it down. It's a little too dirty and weird to be published so here I am! I came here a long time ago to get my rocks off so I thought I would post it here. Now, is it publishing quality? No. Something I intend to be published must be rewritten at least three times before I even try to submit it. This was only written once. I also don't have an editor on this one, but I did do my best to clean it up.

This story is about a crusaders from a far-off land heading to a desert island in search of a Demon King. Instead they find horrible sex monsters and suffer terrible fates. In the end, they discover a shocking secret that changes everything they thought they knew.

What does this story contain? Well, off hand it contains puppet/doll transformations, hypnotism, tentacles, lolicon (not a child, only looks that way), rape, female/male domination, dark material (death, dismemberment etc.), monsters, anthropomorphic characters, bestiality, anal, S&M, abuse, impregnation and much more that I am not thinking of at the moment or I might insert.

Also, the first chapter is very wordy. I apologize if you don't like that, but it gets more dirty as time goes on.

***************

Chapter 1

The first ship arrived at the port. It was a longship and as it rolled up to the pier a man jumped out. Like all the people on his boat, he was dressed in plate armor, decorated with a bright, flaming bird on the breast plate. He knelt down onto the wood and thanked the goddess for his safe trip. Many of the other men and women on the boat did the same as they stepped onto the pier. The first man, clearly the leader, scanned out across the ocean. He could see countless other longships, rowing rapidly towards him. Many of them would have to anchor around the port and walk over the boats, but they made it. The last human stronghold on the continent. The man turned towards the city. He thought he might have been seeing a mirage when he first got close, but he wasn't. The city was much larger than he thought it would be. There were buildings with ornate domes crammed into high walls that covered a semi-circle around the coast. There were thousands, perhaps tens of thousands living in this city. It certainly didn't look like a place on the verge of being annihilated. Instead it looked like a paradise, with palm trees, a beautiful coast and colorful domes on some of the larger structures. Moreover, the entire place looked intact and untouched. Still, it was not his place to question the High Priest of Vordan. He was on a mission from the goddess and he intended to fulfill it. He turned to the common soldiers in the boat.

“Secure the ship.” the commander Message too long. Click here to view the full text.


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Tater+Chips 14/09/19(Fri)05:03 No. 22461 ID: 62b1d7

Really? That's it?


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Anonymous 14/09/19(Fri)10:59 No. 22462 ID: 5dc796

For what it's worth I actually found this story really freaking hot. Please keep going. I am simultaneously waiting for what will happen with the plot and what horrible (but incredibly erotic) catastrophe will befall another female in the story. I strongly urge you not to let the naysayers get to you-thsis is a very well written story.


>>
Anonymous 14/09/19(Fri)15:00 No. 22463 ID: a00687

>>22432
It is, and its in no way unique.
but I find it hot and like it all the same.




Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look Univited/Uncle+Rick 14/09/01(Mon)10:18 No. 22364 ID: a887c0 [Reply]

If the text had come from anyone except Megan, I would have simply added their name to my kill-list, and gone back to sleep. Instead, I grabbed my phone and gave her a call.

“I'm going to strangle you.” I said, by way of greeting.

“Why? You at work, cuz?” She sounded tipsy, but lucid, which was actually rather good for her. and she seemed to be forcing a playful tone, which meant she was worried. Damnit.

“I just had three twelve hour shifts in a row during finals week, because my boss is a sadistic twat. I had one final yesterday between my second and third shifts, and my last final is coming up in... just under seven hours. I literally just crawled in bed eleven minutes ago. You'd better be dying.”

“Oh, Ethan, I'm ssoo sorry. I'll be fine. Good luck on the final, and stuff.”

I sighed. “Are you somewhere safe?”

“For the moment, yeah. It's alright, we'll find someone to give me a ride.”

Megan wouldn't have called me on a weeknight if she'd had any decent options, and I didn't want to think about what kind of person they'd find willing to give a bunch of drunk junior high girls a ride. I wasn't be able to rest easy until I heard she was somewhere safe anyway, so I resigned myself to the innevitable and said, “Don't bother, just text me the address. I'm on my way.”
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Univited/Uncle+Rick 14/09/10(Wed)22:23 No. 22413 ID: a887c0

>>22407

Dude, that cliche is what I live for. I don't know of a single story of mine that doesn't involve it somehow. I'm all about the swinger loli who likes to share. Hell, I figure if I'm going for an impossible fantasy, might as well make it THE impossible fantasy.

And yeah, I was pretty damned tired by the time I got to that point, both in the writing and in the re-read. I'm not surprised it slipped through. I did actually do an out-loud re-read which makes for a much better result than my normal once-over, but I'm not really a grammatically minded individual, and a lot of times my ideas outpace my fingers.

Glad you liked it, broheim.


>>
Anonymous 14/09/17(Wed)11:37 No. 22448 ID: 7b67e1

>>22413
With all the parallels to uncle Rick, you shoulda just worked this into being a Rick update. Converted damaged lesbians, girls recruiting other girls, watery locations, tons of trash talk/12 year olds acting 20, drugged up and drunked up scenes. For gods sake thy both had successful gaming streams. Honestly if this story doesn't end with 2 chapters outlining the protagonists financial success ill just be disappointed.


>>
Univited/Uncle+Rick 14/09/18(Thu)22:06 No. 22460 ID: a887c0

>>22448

Meh, I don't apologize for liking what I like, but I agree the end of Uncle Rick was pretty damned weak, same with Tacit Permission. I think I might have subconsciously wanted to get the story right. Wizard did the same thing. Several of his stories feel like the same story rewritten.

The good news is I pretty much have it out of my system. Don't have any desire to write in this vein anymore. Still, I'm terribly sorry that my stories had parallels. That must have been quite traumatic for you.




Roommates (loli) Anonymous 12/10/06(Sat)11:32 No. 17319 ID: 5c8966 [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]

It all started when I was 19, in my first semester at college. I'd moved away from home and into my first apartment, and got my first roommate as well. He was a year younger than me, but unlike me he hadn't spent a year after graduating highschool saving up his money for tuition and rent. His parents died in an avalanche at a ski resort, and between their considerable savings and the payout from the life insurance, he could afford college and not have to work for years. I hadn't known it when I met him at orientation and we decided to share an apartment, but he also had custody of his 11 year old sister.

The apartment was big, and nicer than I could have ever afforded on my own, so all three of us had separate bedrooms (hers was supposed to be a laundry room or something originally.). I also discovered my roommate was a bit of a dick who neglected his little sister.

I don't think it was intentional, more a result of losing his parents and having to adjust his plans for the future to revolve around caring for his sibling, and he probably wasn't ready for that sort of responsibility. But unless he needed to give her a ride or buy her something she needed, he basically didn't interact with her. He also barely did anything with me; maybe once a week he'd play video games with me, but he spent nearly all his time in class or shut in his room studying.

His little sister was cute, with her blue eyes, freckles, and short, light brown hair, but obviously way too young for me. She didn't play with dolls or anything, so I guess she was mature for her age, but she also spent all her time shut in her room when she wasn't at school. And I don't think she had any friends at her new school either.

After a month or so with my new roommates, we'd settled into a routine. If they weren't exactly friendly, they weren't bad either; quiet, clean, and they were the only way I could afford a really nice apartment just a block from campus.

I wish I'd known then what I know now. It'd have saved me a lot of grief.


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Anonymous 14/09/12(Fri)04:39 No. 22417 ID: 726b8f

Nice


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Anonymous 14/09/14(Sun)07:21 No. 22425 ID: 411cdd

So... I've just used half a night to read the entire story so far, and I must say, that this is literary gold... The story and the characters are very in depth, and the progression is very binding! Can't wait to see an update for this! We believe in you OP!


>>
Anonymous 14/09/18(Thu)15:54 No. 22458 ID: b07e95

more




Anonymous 14/01/06(Mon)22:01 No. 20604 ID: 9f21ec [Reply]

JENNY, part 1

I'd just graduated from University at the age of 21, and taken a job at a local bar for some cash to keep me going while I was job hunting. There were very few young drinkers there; most were men in their 60s or 40/50 year old couples. As a young, handsome guy, I got a lot of attention from the women in their 40s, and often returned that attention with some harmless flirtation. All in good fun, just a way to pass the time in a menial job.

After a while I started drinking there; it was the nearest bar to home after all, and I often got bought drinks by the manager or the regulars. It was in this fashion that I met a few of the 'younger' regulars: a couple in their late 30s, a single 40 year old woman called Carly and a 28 year old guy who all drank together a few nights a week. I started to join them and got to know them all quite well. The couple, Ed and Christy, had recently fostered a 15 year old girl, Jenny, and were desperate to get out for a proper night out and were regularly discussing needing a babysitter. Being a low-paid barman, I offered to look after Jenny for a night as I was desperate for some extra cash.

I'd met Jenny a couple of times at the bar and she was a nice girl; a little bit hyper and excitable but there was nothing wrong with that - she was still a young teenager after all. She always seemed happy to see me and i was always happy to chat to her - i was the nearest to her age, so i just assumed she was eager to talk to someone who wasn't at least 20 years older than her. I'd never really looked at her properly before - why would I really? - but one day I was walking through town and saw her in her school uniform; she had a green skirt and tights, showing off her slim legs, with some slight curves where her muscles were being to develop. Her top half was covered with a big baggy jumper, as usual, so I couldn't tell how she looked there. I didn't think much of it then, as I knew she was too young, and I saw teenage girls in their uniforms all the time - why should this one be any different?

Anyway, the night of the babysitting rolled around and I heard over to Ed and Christy's house. When I got there, the couple were getting ready, and Jenny was watching TV, wearing a baggy hoodie and sweat pants. She waved and gave me a big smile, as Christy took me to one side.

"Thanks for helping us out," she said. I looked at her up close. She'd really dressed herself up, wearing a nice dress that showed ample cleavage, and her hair was wavy, framing a pretty face which had a small amount of makeup on. I'd always appreciated older women, and mainly watched MILF porn, so when I first saw Christy I noticed her massive breasts, curvy body and pretty face highlighted by bright blue eyes, and so had fapped to her a few times. I made a mental note of how she looked for later on.

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Anonymous 14/07/02(Wed)05:47 No. 22018 ID: 5099d7

>>20612
OP here. After a long time, I'm back with the next chapter...

CHRISTY part 1

2 months after the night with Jenny, I hadn't been asked to baby sit again, and had not seen Ed and Christy at the bar for around 6 weeks. I started to worry that jenny might have said something, and that Ed and Christy were planning to tell the authorities. Panic was setting in, and every time I went in for a shift I worried that it would all come out in to the open. Then, one afternoon I received a text from Christy.

"Can you come to the bar? I need to talk to you"

Shit. They knew and they were going to confront me. What could I do? If I lied, it would be my word against Jenny’s; who would everyone believe? I’d be tarred as a pedophile for life; no one would want anything to do with me. With my stomach churning, I went to the bar, fearing the worst.

When I walked in, I saw Christy sitting at a corner table alone. I was expecting Ed to be there too, so to not see him threw me a bit. I was convinced I was going to be confronted. After buying myself a beer and a scotch (I was going to need the booze!), I sat down at the table, and asked what Christy needed to talk to me about. I looked at her; her eyes were red and she looked upset. I guessed she’d been crying and I thought, due to my fears, that she should be angry.

“What’s up?” I asked.

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Kal 14/07/02(Wed)22:28 No. 22024 ID: 42a0b5

Continue


>>
Anonymous 14/09/18(Thu)15:52 No. 22457 ID: b07e95

more




My Sister is a Dickgirl SNT-NEL 12/02/11(Sat)10:15 No. 15127 ID: b808a3 [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]

Reposting this, for some reason. Even though I felt weird trying to fap to futa lit, I was okay with this one, for some reason.

I remember a long while back, some folks here added to it, and things were great, but then for some reason the mods took it down? I think it was cause it hadn't been updated in forever. But, yeah. RESURRECTION(I hope)
_______


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NewAnon 14/09/15(Mon)16:34 No. 22433 ID: 8c80f2

>>22431

It's been a group effort between several people, though there's been a large gap between the latest entry and the one before that.

Not sure if it's possible to "finish" this kind of story, haha. Though, there is a definite goal that I imagine a lot of people are routing for. More on that in the next chapter :)


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Anonymous 14/09/16(Tue)07:48 No. 22441 ID: def664

>>22433

I see. Well I definitely can't wait fior the Next chapter. I'm looking forward to reading what yiu guys come up with next


>>
NewAnon 14/09/18(Thu)14:14 No. 22456 ID: 9269d6

>>22441

Cheers!




Chaperone Dorsea 14/09/18(Thu)01:43 No. 22451 ID: ebd7e7 [Reply]

Chloe shoved her way through that double metal doors on the way out of the auditorium and into the main lobby. She was on cloud nine. She had moved here at the very tail end of the summer in order to be closer to her daughter’s college, and also because Lake Weenauk was a gorgeous mountain town with several highly rated school districts for her to apply to.

She had dropped an application here at G.L.Winters for the drama teacher opening with the understanding that they had already made a decision to hire an older professor with a Ph.D., but a call had come early last week that Dr. Kitchner had suffered a stroke and, while still alive and well, had decided to take it easy and allow himself to retire.

After two interviews, the principal had made his decision and extended the job to her in the hopes that her youthful energy would make up for the absence of such a seasoned drama teacher as Dr. Kitchner. Besides, the school year had started already and they needed someone else fast.

As Chloe approached the lobby doors, they suddenly swung open hard and her hands drove back into her chest. She staggered and fell to the floor, dropping her portfolios and the notebook full of lesson plans she had come to show the principal so he’d know she knew what she was doing.

Three teenage boys in polo shirts and checkered shorts stood on the welcome mat looking surprised to see her laying there in a pile of papers. The one who had shoved the door open into her face was the first to move, and offered his hand to her.

“I’m so sorry, let me help you up” he said and she took it without really looking at him.

He lifted her with one arm onto her feet so quickly she almost shouted and looked up into his face. She was especially short for an adult, standing a meager 5 even, but this boy was especially tall as well. Chloe had opened her mouth to say that it was alright and to be more careful, but was left at a loss for words. He was easily over six feet tall and had a chiseled jaw and tan skin, long, shaggy blonde hair and he had a roguish expression on his face.

She realized he still had her hand in his and shook it away, “Thanks for the hand”, she said blushing and taking a step back.
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Dorsea 14/09/18(Thu)01:48 No. 22453 ID: ebd7e7

Instinctively and without realizing it, she reached forward and unfastened his belt. He moved himself forward to give her an easier time and she thumbed his zipper down, feeling the fabric slide away from his hips. He sat backward and she began undoing his shirt buttons. More and more bare chest was revealed and she tingled when she found he had no undershirt on. Her hands explored his bare chest which was covered in a light sweat from fooling around with her on a late summer night.

He sat on the top of the stairs and she moved to a lower step to help him take his pants off. As she eased the fabric away, she followed the length of his shaft, waiting to see when it ended. At last it did, and she felt herself soaking her thong looking at it hanging rigidly between tan thighs below his hard, lean stomach.

He pulled her forward with her chin between his thumb and forefinger and kissed her, his eyes closing as her hand closed around the shaft of his cock as best it could. She couldn’t make a fist all the way around him, so she used two hands. Will leaned back and she watched his face tense as she began to work his handsome meat in her hands. She could tell he had probably never had a girl who knew what she was doing like this before, so she decided to show him something he had probably never had.

She licked her lips as she moved closer to his shaft. His eyes were closed tight as she stroked him. Her wet lips met the tip of him and his eyes opened to watch as Chloe stroked her mouth down his head and began circling it with her tongue while she stroked him up and down. his hand pressed against the back of her head and she slapped it away, then resumed stroking and sucking.

He lay back, his cock throbbing against her palms as she slowly took more of him in. She could feel his pulse between her lips as she pushed forward, bobbing slowly and stroking up and down him. She could see his stomach flexed so she knew he was sitting up some to watch. Chloe bobbed her head more dramatically up and down and saw his hand move like it wanted to push her down further, but she looked back up at him and he lay back to let her work.

She moved one hand as he entered her throat and cupped his balls. His soft moans got louder and she knew no girl had ever made it this far down him before. She moved her other hand and opened her jaw so wide that it ached. Her mouth pushed down him and she felt him go deep into her throat. The hand cupping his balls pressed them hard up into him and he sat forward in shock, his thighs closing against her shoulders tightly as he released suddenly deep inside her throat.

Chloe stayed down as long as she could, but the cum hitting her throat made her gag and she pulled up off of him, her eyes welling up some from choking. He watched her, kneeling just beyond his soaking cock that was laying on his stomach with her eyeliner beginning to run.

He sat Message too long. Click here to view the full text.


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Anonymous 14/09/18(Thu)04:29 No. 22454 ID: f5b1c2

Why does nobody tag anything any more?


>>
Anonymous 14/09/18(Thu)13:20 No. 22455 ID: 36e3b1

>>22454
So much this




San Francisco Wazzles !JUD7F1CtU. 14/08/06(Wed)19:22 No. 22193 ID: e633c7 [Reply]

Hello all.
I've written some short stories so I'll keep this short. It's a story about loving a dickgirl and the heartache and buttache that comes with it. It's my first longstory, it's slow. It's not done yet: I want the readers to pick a cool ending. I have about 6 chapters ready to go with a few more in the draft stages. If this thread dies I will make it clear. Hopefully that doesn't happen. If you find any typos, inconsistencies or fuckups please let me know.
Hope you enjoy.

global tags: herm on male, mf, femdom, futadom, reluctance, group, kinda romancey

---

Prologue:


I gulped. It was only a natural response, when something is clogging up your windpipe you have two choices - cough or swallow or suffocate. I can’t be blamed for picking the latter can I?
“Good boooy” she goaded, one hand on my throat, feeling my hyoid bone slide gooey contents down the tube. Her other hand brushed sweaty hair out of my eyes and tears from the side of my face. They weren’t tears of pain or sadness. Okay, maybe a little bit of pain. I gasped for my first full lung of air since we started, now my throat was completely empty, if it weren’t for the sticky sides - the way it clung to the walls like fried eggs. Stop thinking about eggs I focused on her face, flushed and pleased. My eyes, only slightly defiant, stared up into hers through the dark. I could still see them glitter with satisfaction as they wandered past mine, over me to the other side of the room. Hidden under the blankets I couldn’t see what was happening there, even if I could hear it; gentle moans and heady grunts, two different voices. Bronte’s hand went from my throat to my chin and a single finger beckoned me up her body, my tongue dragging up her sweat lined skin. She giggled in response.
“You’re getting good” she claimed, pulling my body against hers once we were face to face, naked skin touching naked skin. She had a little smirk on her face that looked like ’I know you enjoy it’
She planted a kiss on my forehead and her hands roamed over my skin. “Roll over” gestured, pushing my hips slightly. I silently agreed and turned to my other side - little spoon. From here I could see where the noise was coming from -

“That’ll be you tomorrow” Bronte claimed, both her promise and my body.

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Anonymous 14/09/15(Mon)21:24 No. 22434 ID: 8593af

>>22415
There a 'delete post' button at the bottom of the screen.


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Wazzles !JUD7F1CtU. 14/09/16(Tue)18:06 No. 22444 ID: 4c73b2

>>22434
Didn't set the password, it has since changed. Do I really need to go through with troubles with IRC?
Whatever for now I'll just repost the whole, complete chapter.


>>
Chapter 4 - Mk. II Wazzles !JUD7F1CtU. 14/09/17(Wed)20:35 No. 22450 ID: b62ff3

Hey guys, I missed the first part of the last chapter. My bad. Here's the full chapter, ignore the last post if you want or just read the start of this one or read the whole thing again or go to bed.
You can only choose one.

----

Chapter 4: Whiskey Bar
tags: herm, f/m femdom, cunnylingus



Fingers are made for fingers. You ever find something that tessellates perfectly? A pattern in a ceiling or a stained glass window? Or a beehive - honeycomb hexagons fixing perfectly together in an endless, infinite web?
Fingers are like that, they fit together and when they’re together they stay together. Friction and desire keep digits curled around knuckles. We held hands, fingers linked together when we left the show, when we got into the taxi, when we walked through the front door and they were still together by the time she had my hands pinned to the bed, moaning into my mouth.
Her body was pressed against mine and she lay in between my legs, pressing her stomach into my crotch, lips on my neck, ripping my clothes off like cocaine on christmas. 

“You’re not gonna, nhm, last… long” she breathlessly foresaw, feeling the way I was tensing against her stomach. She was speaking the truth - leaving me like that from last night. It had been years since I was this drunk the room was spinning, kisses felt like slaps of pleasure on my chest.
She looked up through my eyes, her smile wide. I pulled her down next to me, lying away from me on the bed and pulled her arms behind her, holding her like that, leaning forward to kiss the back of her neck. She started giggling which grew swiftly into a laugh as I started licking down her back. I let go of her hands and she kept them behind her back, crawling below my stomach line into my underwear. Her laugh devolved into a humming as her hands caressed my soon-to-be satisfied hardon. As her hands pulled around the full length she looked back over her shoulder at me. Her face was flushed, her eyes drunk and shining, pupils huge, her mouth open and breathing heavily. I pulled her closer into me and kissed her again, her mouth smelling like sex breath - her saliva was dense with hormones. It was turning me on more than I could imagine.

My hands pulled up her dress and played with the flesh of her ass again, she helped me pry off and pull down her underwear, flicking them off her feet with mine. I stuck my dick between her cheeks and rubbed gently, pushing her ass around me. She seemed to enjoy that, rubbing into me, moaning softly. Her arm reached behind her and she grabbed onto my length, tugging the skin softly.

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Milk and Honey (Mg, loli, mild discipline, voyeurism, first) Anonymous 14/09/16(Tue)11:23 No. 22442 ID: 89aba0 [Reply]

See, I have a thing for art with interesting poses, images that make me ask, what the hell is going on?

And sometimes, I have to write the story down. Like all my best, this one came to me in one big chunk.

I tried to attach one of the images that inspired me, but I can't make that work. Let me know how, if you want to see them.

No, the story doesn't make sense. No, I haven't done much editing. No, I probably won't mess with it much more; I've wasted two days on it, and really need to get some work done. Besides, my dick is starting to wear out, I always fap a lot when I've got a story cranking out as hot and heavy as this one did.

As seems to be best for much of my stuff, just accept the premise and let it roll.

Codes: Mg, loli, mild discipline, voyeurism, first. Other stuff that would be spoilers, especially MC, sort of, but not like anything I've ever seen anywhere else, given that I don't usually like mind control stories.

Stroke story, I hope.

I crave feedback, it is like honeymilk to me. Tell me if I'm doing it right, correct me otherwise so I can get better.
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Anonymous 14/09/16(Tue)14:22 No. 22443 ID: f5b1c2

Too much why, not enough how.


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Anonymous 14/09/17(Wed)07:47 No. 22447 ID: 89aba0

Thanks for reading, and for the feedback!

"Not enough how"? Can you give an example?

(I'll note I'm not entirely satisfied with this one in the cold light of day, myself. The scene at Sneed's is OK, but the rest...meh. Telling not showing.)


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Anonymous 14/09/17(Wed)18:28 No. 22449 ID: 36e3b1

>>22447
I think his point is that you have a whole lot of text talking about this sexual fantasy phenomenon, but the actual "action" part of it takes up barely half of it. Too much exposition.

For my part, I just want you to not write "turgid font" ever again. TThat's disgusting, man.




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