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/elit/ - Erotic Literature
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Control (m/f, Underage, Non-Consensual) styxarcher 16/07/15(Fri)07:21 No. 24438 ID: c49a09 [Reply]

The first draft of my first story. Please post constructive criticism.

A fair warning to all readers, this story involves people who are underage, you are under no obligation to read further. As well this is a setup chapter so there is not as much sex as I would like.

My name is James; I am in grade 7 living in a large city in a nice neighborhood. I have dark brown hair and sky blue eyes. I am only 5 feet tall, with a slim build; I don’t exercise much outside gym class. It all started when I was twelve. I woke up one morning and knew something was different. However it was also just another day that I needed to go to school. So after getting dressed I went down stairs for some breakfast, I had the usual, Honey Cheerios, and also as usual I inhaled 2 bowls of it. Saying good bye to my mom and dad I started walking my way to school.

On my way there I stopped as Alora’s house. She’s my best and really only friend I have at school, so I always go out of my way to keep her happy. She has black hair that comes down to her waist and is only four and half feet tall, very brown eyes, and with dusky skin she is one of the many non-white kids we have in our class. She always spends a lot of time on her hair, light makeup, and perfume. She has become more private of late, and I have noticed her boobs are starting to grow; as well she has been having parties at her house since her parents are often at their new cabin.

I knock on her door and smile to myself. She is the bright spot in my morning.

I yell “Time to go. We’re going to be late!”

Finally she opens the door and quickly closes it behind her, but not before I see the mess she left.

“Shut up nob, were not going to be late.” She responds with a mischievous grin.
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Phoenix!!xlZGywLzWw 16/07/17(Sun)05:58 No. 24448 ID: 882c1d

hey styxarcher. decent story, I'd love to help with some constructive criticism. shoot me an email, you can click on the name on this comment




Recommendations Thread Anonymous 16/07/07(Thu)23:44 No. 24415 ID: 98fd99 [Reply]

Because I think we could use one where we share links and summaries to our favorite stories on or off this board.




The Laws of Hospitality Mg, gg, or so it would seem... 12/10/26(Fri)20:17 No. 17526 ID: 5e7fa1 [Reply] [Last 50 posts]

Another Saturday, and my 'guest' was still playing her strange game. Wherever I went, she followed, gaze unwavering. It was a predator's stare, so out of place on that little wisp of a girl, but I was used to it by now, and I barely noticed anymore. It's amazing what you can get used to, given enough time. It had been more than a month since she'd levered herself into my home and life, and she had yet to speak a single word. Having seen what I had, I was inclined to let her keep her silence. Living without conversation was no great burden for me, so I'd eventually managed to regain some sense of normalcy. I gave each task my full attention, pouring my focus into every action. I made a ritual of yet another mundane task as I made us both eggs and french toast, as we ate in silence, as I cleaned up after. I didn't notice at all how my shirt's too-big collar slipped, careless, down one slender, pale shoulder. I didn't watch as she licked daintily at a spot of syrup on her delicate finger, her eyes never leaving me as she slid it between her lips. I pointedly avoided noticing the way a lock of her hair, dark and straight and silky smooth, only slightly mussed despite the night's sleep, fell across her cheek in a way the begged my fingers to brush it back behind her ear. I was so busy not noticing that I damn near missed my mouth with my next bite, and the laughter danced behind those deep dark eyes, so deep you could drown in them, so dark they might as well be black.

I finished quickly, then stood, taking my plate. I could do just as good a job not noticing at the sink as anywhere. I didn't take her plate for the same reason one does not take an antelope from a feeding lion. She'd leave it when she chose, syrup and powdered sugar scattered like blood and offal, but I'd deal with that when the time came.

I spent the morning in the studio, along with my exra shadow. I'd packed up everything but the old Bride of Frankenstein to ship out on Monday. To tell the truth, I didn't really have anything left to do, but it was a grand old poster, and I enjoyed looking at it. Ray had sent it to me faded, folded, and dog-eared, but it had still been a beautiful poster for all that. God knows where he'd found it, but that was his business. I just made her pretty again. She'd fetch $200,000 at the very least, if I didn't miss my guess. The way the market had picked up lately, and with Ray running the auction I wouldn't be surprised at all if she went for double that. I spent an hour or two making a few final touches, but I was mostly running on force of habit. It had been done for a few days now, I just liked looking at it.

On the way out, I passed an empty canvas. That was for my own work. I hadn't done a project of my own in months now. I kept meaning to, but it never seemed like the right time. None of my originals ha Message too long. Click here to view the full text.


82 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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Anonymous 15/11/03(Tue)09:48 No. 23944 ID: 0c67f5

>>23568
praise be to op!
a reply as recent as 5 months ago
sorry to hear about job :(


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Anonymous 16/01/15(Fri)17:28 No. 24081 ID: 8fe410

Will there be life?


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Anonymous 16/07/04(Mon)03:00 No. 24407 ID: e7ac10

>>23568
Uninvited, are you alive, bro?




Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look Univited/Uncle+Rick 14/09/01(Mon)10:18 No. 22364 ID: a887c0 [Reply]

If the text had come from anyone except Megan, I would have simply added their name to my kill-list, and gone back to sleep. Instead, I grabbed my phone and gave her a call.

“I'm going to strangle you.” I said, by way of greeting.

“Why? You at work, cuz?” She sounded tipsy, but lucid, which was actually rather good for her. and she seemed to be forcing a playful tone, which meant she was worried. Damnit.

“I just had three twelve hour shifts in a row during finals week, because my boss is a sadistic twat. I had one final yesterday between my second and third shifts, and my last final is coming up in... just under seven hours. I literally just crawled in bed eleven minutes ago. You'd better be dying.”

“Oh, Ethan, I'm ssoo sorry. I'll be fine. Good luck on the final, and stuff.”

I sighed. “Are you somewhere safe?”

“For the moment, yeah. It's alright, we'll find someone to give me a ride.”

Megan wouldn't have called me on a weeknight if she'd had any decent options, and I didn't want to think about what kind of person they'd find willing to give a bunch of drunk junior high girls a ride. I wasn't be able to rest easy until I heard she was somewhere safe anyway, so I resigned myself to the innevitable and said, “Don't bother, just text me the address. I'm on my way.”
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Bkil 15/02/22(Sun)09:49 No. 23309 ID: ddaa83

>>22485
For the high school football story was it a long story called New Friends?


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Anonymous 16/06/15(Wed)18:49 No. 24358 ID: ea95d8

Not my bent but too good of a story to scroll off


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Anonymous 16/06/22(Wed)00:52 No. 24374 ID: 0f9ea3

>>22483
Wow, I remember the loli shape changing alien story. Only vaguely, cause it was nearly a decade ago, I think. And I didn't save it sadly.

It was really good though. Didn't it end with the protagonist morphing alien loli using a thermite bomb to blow up the evil morphing loli alien? Good stuff.




Snipped (TF, Bondage, Castration) Anonymous 15/05/05(Tue)12:10 No. 23523 ID: 54b3a5 [Reply]

Mistress entered first. She was beautiful, all dark skin and black leathers. Her hair pulled back in a tight knot, breasts pressed up in shelf bra, nipples bare and showing silver bars. A kris knife hung at one side, a leash on the other, but she needn’t raise it. The slave followed behind her quite willingly. Laleh was her name she had been given. Tonight she had been prepared in the finest way the harem could, dotted, primped, and perfumed.

She wore pink silk veils with gold coins across the bridge of her nose. She turned and began her dance as she entered the chambers. Her body had been clad in nothing more concealing than the many layers of silks. Gold serpents coiled around her wrists, slave rings that were chained to rings on her fingers. Her foot raised over her head as she bent over herself, a thin wire thong on her delicate sole. She inched around until her face was framed by one long leg, then completed the leisurely roll. As she rose again, she let the silks down from her chest. Her nipples were stiff, dark circles that peaked on gentle, youthful breasts. Her hips shook, a silver chain slung around her navel tracing each movement.

She closed the space between herself and her owner. Her hands reached out for him, grazing the curtain he sat behind, before she receded toward her Mistress. The slave traced her hands slowly up her Mistress’ side. She grazed her Mistress’ breast with her cheek. Her Mistress touched the slave’s chin and guided her away. Laleh’s lips parted, longing to speak, but knowing her place.

Mistress held the slave around her waist. She took the silk skirts away, letting them fall to the floor and reveal the slave’s sex. Between mahogany thighs, hung Laleh’s cock, a soft member no bigger than middle and index finger, and her petite pouch like a petty coin purse. Laleh took a sharp breath as she was revealed.

From her owner, she was beckoned on. Her hands reached back to clasp around her Mistress’ neck. Mistress rubbed one of Laleh’s nipples with the pads of her fingers, while her other hand ran down across her hip. From a waiting vessel, she dipped her fingers in clear oil. Laleh parted her legs and bent forward at the waist.

Mistress penetrated her ass with two fingers. Laleh whined, her lips quivered. Mistress’ fingers pumped into her, curled against her prostate. She couldn’t stay silent and panted with increasing desperation. Her spread legs trembled and she looked to her owner.

Mistress met his eyes, then bore her fingers into the slave. She gripped her hip, pulling her fingers tight against Laleh’s sex. She moaned, wanton and vulgar, as her cock released pale seed onto the stone floor.

Laleh fell to her knees, she doubled over herself and began to lick at her mess like a kitten at milk. She felt another droplet run from the head of her cock down her thigh. It was salty and bitter and as she cleaned th Message too long. Click here to view the full text.


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Anonymous 16/06/19(Sun)06:27 No. 24369 ID: b43e63

Whoa. Is it too late to get you to finish this?




Breaking Bo Sonder!!AwZTHlMTWv 13/12/08(Sun)21:03 No. 20427 ID: 0550d2 [Reply]

[male, gay, high school]
Usually I'd write a more specific set of tags, but I want this story to be an open-ended work-in-progress. Although I do have a basic plot outlined for 8-9 chapters, I'm always open to suggestions from you guys about what direction you'd like the story to go. Feel free to suggest something in the comments. All suggestions are appreciated, but please remember it's simply not possible to satisfy them all. =(

This story is set in an all-boys boarding school for Grade 8-12 students (13-17 years old). The main characters are students who live within the 5 different boarding houses, one house for each year of students. The school itself is in a big city on the edge of a river. Beyond the boarding houses, but still part of the school grounds, there is a peninsula of forest/scrub land known as the Hook.


28 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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More? I LOVE Bo! Lickit 14/05/11(Sun)23:05 No. 21726 ID: 407364

I've NEVER bumped a story before, but, .... BUMP!!


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is somewhat unnerving ,.- ) Good!? Anonymous 14/09/25(Thu)21:56 No. 22487 ID: 5cd61f

Some concerns... the story actually started close to a year ago, and hm... According to the author Sonder we're at chapter 5, in it self quite remarkable compared to some one- cluster of - text posters, but the suspense


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Anonymous 14/12/03(Wed)09:20 No. 22897 ID: bd628b

Wasn't sure if this is still updated our even watched, but I wanted to let the author know that I loved it and would love more.




Help finding a story Anonymous 16/06/16(Thu)08:53 No. 24359 ID: dd4937 [Reply]

There was a story that I read a while back that I was hoping someone could help me find. This is what I remember of it. It was about a man who moves into an apartment above the garage of a family with two young daughter. The older daughter was ignored by her father because she was a little chubby. Her mother encourages her to hit on the man and they end up spending the night or weekend in the apartment.

Many thanks for any help.


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Anonymous 16/06/16(Thu)23:36 No. 24360 ID: 98fd99

You know what, a request thread wouldn't be a bad idea. Shame this board is pretty much snail pace.




The Search For Tripp's Club wondash!v4DxM5avR6 15/10/28(Wed)22:30 No. 23932 ID: cc2815 [Reply]

Here we go again with another story in ‘The Club’ universe. The events in this story take place after The Club 2010 (aka A Visit To Tripp’s Club). The plot starts mostly ‘sex free’ but eventually degrades into some really weird shit.

To address my paranoia and for the record, this story and all characters in this story are fictitious. Additionally, all characters in this story (who are fictitious as previously stated) are participating consensually and are of legal age, regardless of the implied or stated age of the (fictitious) roles they portray.




Previously…

It’s been almost six months since my brother and sister disappeared. Nobody knows exactly when Jack went missing; he was very private about his business travels and it was not uncommon for him to ‘go off the grid’ for weeks on end. But Susan, she had arranged for Mom and me to have dinner with her and Zachary. They were going to tell us some big news. Obviously they were getting engaged. But Zach called us that afternoon. He was panicked; Susan had not returned from the grocery and she was not answering her phone. When we found her car in the parking lot later that night, we called the police.

The police found no evidence of a crime. Her car was locked. Nobody had seen Susan at the store. We filed a missing persons report. Needless to say, the authorities were of little help. Mom… well… mom is having a hard time grasping the situation. She thinks Susan and Jack will just show up at the door any day now. But in my heart I know that’s not true. And somehow their disappearances are related, I’m sure of it. Zachary is also convinced, but he thinks that this is somehow Jack’s fault. “You know the type of people your brother associates with. And his business partners… I’m sure they’re involved. Or at least they know something,” he had said.

So Zach and I flew across the country to search Jack’s beach house. Mom and Zach didn’t want me to go at first. But I was on break from college for the summer and I had some vacation days at my internship; I convinced them to let me help. Plus, I had the key to his house from when I went to visit him the prior year. As we expected the house was immaculate. Both his cars, the Porsche and the Audi were parked in the garage. The kitchen had almost no food. Nothing seemed disturbed or out of place. In his bedroom we found a couple of suitcases pulled out by the closet and his dresser drawers seemed rather empty. This all implied that he was away on business or vacation. I booted the laptop in his office but without the password it was useless.

We were just about to give up when I suggested we check his mailbox. As it turned out, there was a single envelope. It had no stamp or return address – someone had hand delivered it. “Open it, it’s our only clue.” Zach hesitated. “Come on, we have no choice.” Slowly he ope Message too long. Click here to view the full text.


23 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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Anonymous 16/03/16(Wed)11:14 No. 24149 ID: c6d1be

You're not fucked up for writing it. I'm not fucked up for enjoying it. It's just fantasy. If you decide to not share anymore, wed certainly understand.


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Anonymous 16/03/23(Wed)13:47 No. 24159 ID: 3d7113

>>24148
Well I'm still checking back here several times a week in hopes of an update so I vote you post them. Magic aphrodisiac drugs and forced orgasms are big fetishes of mine.


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Anonymous 16/06/10(Fri)14:29 No. 24339 ID: 690b65

You mentioned you had written the other chapters already... is there anything we can do to get you to post them?




Pedro 16/06/04(Sat)20:50 No. 24305 ID: 431c24 [Reply]

Hola




Birthday Cake (Loli, Mf) Anonymous 16/05/20(Fri)03:52 No. 24278 ID: d05cc4 [Reply]

(Relatively unedited.)

Some girls got a sweet sixteen, with fancy catering, and maybe even a car. Alex was the son of a single dad who had never even heard the words “sweet sixteen”. So, when Alex’s sixteenth birthday came around, the most his father brought out was some red balloons, chips and dip, and the promise of an empty house for his birthday. It was an unusual and lenient thing for his father to do, but seeing as the man was always pulling in extra hours at work, Alex expected it.



“It’ll be better when your friends show up,” Alex’s father reassured him on his way out the door. Before stepping out for the night he winked and said, “good luck.”



Alex turned to his house. The living room in the compact three bedroom looked festive enough for a smattering of sixteen-year-old boys. What was really important, anyway, was the xbox. He made one sweep around the perimeter to make sure everything was clean and in place while he waited. Despite it still being in the afternoon, he had to turn on the light in each room. Alex crossed the cute little guest bedroom his father kept out for when his aunt visited. Shit. Storm clouds hung low and oppressive over the neighborhood. Given the season, a torrential rain was bound to pour in any minute.



Of course not a lot of people show up. Few of Alex’s friends who already had their license felt comfortable enough to drive in such a storm. The rest of the guests had parents too wise to venture out.
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Anonymous 16/05/25(Wed)15:24 No. 24288 ID: 35863e

Very good. Thank you.


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Anonymous 16/05/28(Sat)12:51 No. 24292 ID: fd0f03

IMO a good story leaves the audience wanting more, and I do, so I must ask, what did she mean by this feels different? By asking him to go harder, I wonder if it was her first time or not.

I hope there is more.


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Bkil 16/06/02(Thu)09:27 No. 24301 ID: cce87e

Nice




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