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/grim/ - Cold, Grim & Miserable As always ideas for rules, anonymous names and better headers are always welcome, post them in the main sticky and we'll consider them.
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What if. Eeyore 17/03/28(Tue)07:08 No. 5360 ID: 6d4b9c [Reply]

File 149067773028.jpg - (1.37MB , 3264x1836 , 20170310_233942.jpg )

What if its when you die, you just keep living but in a world when all the things you want to do, you fail to accomplish, for whatever reason it may be. You just start sucking at life. You begin by losing your best friends, one by one, even your gf if you have one. Your parents start to get tired of you and simply stop caring. You do wake up at your bed as usual, you get up, look at yourself in the mirror and you just have this feeling inside you that this day will be exactly like the day before and so on. You go to your job, you get nothing done and your boss gives a fuck about it. You get out, start driving back home thinking that now that you are out and 'free', you could do anything. You end up going home, alone again, trying to get a hold of yourself and play those 3 o 4 chords you know with the guitar. You play the only song you learned, you put the guitar back in its place and you check your phone to see some notification or anything whatsoever. Nothing, just a Porn video o some political nonsense meme from your whatsapp's work group. You lay on the couch looking at the roof. You ate during the day but never felt hungry. You drink water and maybe sometimes its a refreshing feeling. Maybe you score some weed and you feel free of thought for a few hours. Or you drink half a whiskey bottle to get a bit of sleep, because you never get sleepy, just very tired. You never get sick nor hurt. You feel nothing.

Im 26. This is my life now. Im not and antisocial person, Im not autistic, Im not shy,I've become independant from my parents when I was 21, Bought a car, a flat, and I can afford pretty much whatever I want. Had gf's and never had problem to talk to women and flirt with them. When I was younger the only thing I wanted was to be able to be indepedant as exactly as I am now. I gave up relationships, sleep, time and swallowed all the sadness and anger I felt just to do it, and now, after one suicide attempt with my car five years ago, I really think I died and this is my lesson...

Anon!moNoTOnous 17/04/01(Sat)23:32 No. 5373 ID: 1a9107

Sometimes, I crawl out of my shell and watch the news, or read the papers, and I see how fucked up it's out there. Then I look out the window and ponder if perhaps my suicide attempt was actually a success and I'm living in some deranged hellish dimension.
Good to know I'm not the only one.

Eeyore 17/06/02(Fri)07:31 No. 5422 ID: 534415

I've recently been thinking the same thing. Two years ago I had a near fatal overdose, but I feel like I actually died and now I'm existing in purgatory. Every day seems to get worse. I haven't been able to sleep in years, because I know that going to sleep means the start of a new day is upon me. My perception of time is awful, each day feels like a lifetime, and as a result, I can barely remember things that happened over a week ago. I can't even use music as an outlet anymore, I'll write a song, work on it, lose motivation and convince myself it's garbage. If there is a hell, it is most assuredly something like this. An endless sequence of melancholy that slowly wears down on you, until you try to escape, only to re-enter another purgatory.

Eeyore 17/06/12(Mon)00:41 No. 5435 ID: 544546

There is no purgatory or Heaven or Hell; there is only reality, which is already a worse torment than any author of fanciful scripture could ever imagine.

There is nothing but hatred and sadness in this world. I've gone from wanting to ignore it, to wanting to help it, to wanting to destroy it; but I already know that what I was doing first is the only one that is possible. That's what everyone else does. They eat, drink, consume alcohol, watch sports, work eight hours a day, smoke weed, hang out with friends, have sex — all it is, is meaningless inane base endorphin highs and distractions to keep their mind from looking at themselves and the world and seeing how ugly and disgusting it all is.

When I am alone and clear of mind (and not filling it with the jumbled nonsense hallucinations of drugs) is when I feel truly connected to the Universe. It's not a nice place; it's not a peaceful place; it's not a good place. Reality is a seething, angry, violent chaos completely bereft of meaning or purpose, filled with life that is just slightly more complex bacteria. Humans rose to prominence through the power of murder and unrestrained consumption, and it's never changed. It never will change unless someone can find that Big Red Button and push it. I would if I could. Life does not deserve to exist, does not have the right to exist.

Happiness isn't a thing you can acquire, or a state you can enter. It's a delusion. It's the knife-edge between wanting something and thinking you're on the path to achieving that something. Happiness is a child wanting to become an adult so then he can buy all the candy he wants, in blind ignorance that candy really isn't all that tasty to begin with, and it's only value is that as a child you don't get it very often. Happiness is getting a new romantic/sexual partner, and thinking that soon you might be able to have sex with them, in blind ignorance that sex isn't really all that pleasurable to begin with, and has left you disappointed many times before. Happiness is thinking that you're an important, productive member of society moving up your career ladder, in blind ignorance that your existence is pointless, and if you were to die the world would get along just fine without you. Whether you're a cog in a corporate machine, a productive artist, a beloved celebrity, or even a world leader, you are NOT NEEDED. The sun will rise tomorrow, with or without you; even those who might cry when they hear you have gone, will get over it and move on.

When I was little, a book and cartoon movie by the name of Charlotte's Web had a single line that's always stuck with me, spoken by the spider Charlotte as she nears her own death:

"After all, what's a life, anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die."

That's it. That's Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

Eeyore 17/05/24(Wed)01:14 No. 5414 ID: 2a25c1 [Reply]

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I like this board.

I'll share my solitude with you.


Eeyore 17/06/09(Fri)03:22 No. 5434 ID: e2bea4

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I'll share some desolate ambiance in return.

Goes well with the background music for this page.


Lo malo de la vida meh 17/06/03(Sat)00:25 No. 5424 ID: 948a07 [Reply]

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perdón si tengo que escribir esto en español.
la verdad es que siempre he sido una persona con lujos y nada me a faltado pero no importa cuanto tenga nunca he experimentado que es pasar una tarde o un día con amigos.
A veces solo veo a la gente pasar y me imagino lo que harán o como se divertirán.
Me refugio mucho en internet o mis videojuegos pero llego el momento en el que eso ya no llena este vació

Eeyore 17/06/07(Wed)09:36 No. 5428 ID: 41580a


Can We Escape? Eeyore 17/05/24(Wed)01:33 No. 5415 ID: a6056e [Reply]

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Will moving away make my life truly better?

I have so bad of social anxiety around people I grew up with and went to school with. When I see them out in the public I want to run and hide. I see them with their kids and life successes while I'm just a nobody accomplishing nothing.

I had threats made towards me years ago and ended up being chased by people worried about getting jumped I became a shut in and each year my depression gets worse. So many ex girlfriends made my life hell and just the people here I can function around them.

I only feel free when I'm far away from this small little town. Which is why I just have to wonder the question I stated above. "Will moving away truly make my life better?"

Eeyore 17/05/30(Tue)17:25 No. 5420 ID: 4185f8

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There's no escape, chump.

What fucked thing did you do to receive such threats? Share it. That's what this board needs not bawww shit that's been posted over and over.

Eeyore 17/06/02(Fri)18:34 No. 5423 ID: 7a7aa7

Stop thinking about it and move; you have nothing to lose.

Death Seeker Eeyore 17/03/28(Tue)22:06 No. 5361 ID: 0c1a2b [Reply]

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DISCLAIMER... I've posted this elsewhere and didn't get traction. This looks like the right place though.

I'm an Army veteran. Honorable discharge. No combat experience. In my mid 30's.

I have a multi-facet medical issue that the VA doctors will acknowledge in person, but apparently will not create a medical record for outside their own specialty. It's an issue I've been pursuing for over a decade.

I was advised by a VA employee (who asked not to be quoted) that I should get Social Security to validate my compound issue, at which point they can use that as evidence to support my claim.

I just finished a Social Security hearing. My claim was rejected for lack of evidence. Specifically I need medical confirmation of my compound issue.

So I'm stuck in a catch 22.

I haven't worked in 4 years. I've lived off 40% service connection and my fiancee since then.

None of what follows will come to pass if my Social Security appeal works out. If it doesn't I will likely lose my housing, car, fiancee, and dog.
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

9 posts and 4 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
Eeyore 17/04/11(Tue)06:30 No. 5381 ID: 9c4b9c

although ritual disembowelment on the steps of a federal building sounds pretty cool, maybe walk or crawl or take a bus to a doctor who can help with your multifaceted medical issue and perhaps someone with high rate or rank to help navigate Veterans Administration
you were in the war man, suicide kills more guys than bombs and dissentary put together, next time show them your bullet wounds.

Eeyore 17/04/26(Wed)11:23 No. 5388 ID: c93ab8

Definitely option 2. The government has fucked you over enough, I honestly feel that is an amazing statement to make though I cannot volunteer for either position

Eeyore 17/05/21(Sun)01:31 No. 5410 ID: a52bda

You do have another option that requires more balls than either of your plans and that's not using other people to commit suicide, fight harder for what this shitbag government owes you due to your sacrifices, and live this life to its fullest possible extent. My uncle was in Vietnam and did just that. He never let up on his SS claims and wore those fuckers down because, they way he saw it, that was his money and they were not going to tire him out fighting for it. Don't give up. If it takes ten years, kick their scheming asses the whole way.

Eeyore 17/05/09(Tue)23:08 No. 5399 ID: 750857 [Reply]

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I reached a point in my life, where I'm about to lose everything I've worked for, again.
So I'm looking for a painless ofr very quick way to kill myself.
I think about to jump in front of a moving train, would I feel much?

5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
ProleGirl 17/05/13(Sat)02:30 No. 5405 ID: 2a32f8

If you get it right, probably not.
I sincerely hope you explore all other options before ending your life, though.

Eeyore 17/05/13(Sat)11:46 No. 5406 ID: 750857

I already did, tried several times to get everything together.
I'm 29 now and this life just isn't meant for me.

Eeyore 17/05/18(Thu)02:34 No. 5409 ID: cfee17

That's an exceptionally good question. It would depend on the mixture ratio (actual air is only about 20% oxygen so even if it's 75% helium you still wouldn't die because helium is inert). But the short answer is: Amazon won't sell helium mixed with oxygen when it says it's pure helium, because that would be false advertising and illegal. If it says its pure helium and its from a reputable seller, then you can assume it is.

However, any inert pure gas will do the trick. If you can get helium, then nitrogen or argon will be just as effective. It's only carbon dioxide that produces a painful suffocating feeling, not the lack of oxygen. So long as you're breathing SOMETHING, it will be painless.

on the topic of "normies" Eeyore 17/05/01(Mon)07:04 No. 5390 ID: f266c0 [Reply]

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>tfw you realize the social ladder is just a pretense for barbarism

Eeyore 17/05/16(Tue)08:58 No. 5408 ID: 9c4b9c

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fuck em

Ariel 17/02/27(Mon)01:06 No. 5323 ID: 7d8cf4 [Reply]

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When I feel down I listen to really angry music:

college tips online education programs 17/05/02(Tue)08:24 No. 5395 ID: a00996

Have you ever thought about including a little bit more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is valuable and everything. But think of if you added some great graphics or videos to give your posts more, "pop"! Your content is excellent but with pics and video clips, this site could definitely be one of the very best in its field. Great blog!

Eeyore 17/05/02(Tue)02:35 No. 5391 ID: f1d3df [Reply]

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It's all going downhill.
The only thing constant with every passing miserable day is that yesterday was better. Even memories hurt. I don't want anything. I just wait.
It will inevitably get unbearable someday.
That will be the day of my freedom.

I just wait.

Is there anyone who waits with me?

Eeyore 17/05/02(Tue)03:10 No. 5393 ID: 0c2267

yes, i wait with you, friend.

a young witch once told me "do not dread death, do not run away from it. it will always catch you. do not run towards death with open arms. it will catch up to you in its own time. just be at peace, and you and death will meet in time."

so for now, be at peace, friend.
everything will be okay, if not now, then later. one day, everything really will be okay.

so be at peace, and rest at ease, friend.

Eeyore 17/05/02(Tue)07:47 No. 5394 ID: f1d3df

I try to be at peace. But this world really pushes me.
I see me fade a little more each day.
One day I will know absolute peace.

I wait for that day with you.

Eeyore 17/04/09(Sun)00:26 No. 5376 ID: aa33b3 [Reply]

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I have a nice job. I make decent money. My family loves me, and I can afford to send them money regularly to help them out. have nice colleagues and I live in a nice country.

Despite all that, I'm still sitting alone in my apartment at 8PM on a Saturday with a half empty bottle of Vodka in front of me.

What the fuck is the point of it all if you can't even be happy?

I wish I had the balls to kill myself to be done with being unhappy...

Mee 17/04/21(Fri)03:52 No. 5387 ID: 2e1d8f

As a teacher, I take some comfort in the thought that I am a warning to my students.

"Don't be like me," I say to them. "Find a job that pays well. Find someone who will treat you well. Hope for a better tomorrow. Learn to love, and learn to listen. Keep trying. Keep fighting.

Don't be like me."

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