-  [WT]  [PS]  [Home] [Manage]

  1.   (new thread)
  2. (for post and file deletion)
/grim/ - Cold, Grim & Miserable As always ideas for rules, anonymous names and better headers are always welcome, post them in the main sticky and we'll consider them.
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG, WEBM
  • Maximum file size allowed is 5120 KB.
  • Images greater than 200x200 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Currently 517 unique user posts. View catalog

  • Blotter updated: 2011-01-12 Show/Hide Show All

There's a new /777/ up, it's /gardening/ Check it out. Suggest new /777/s here.

Movies & TV 24/7 via Channel7: Web Player, .m3u file. Music via Radio7: Web Player, .m3u file.

WebM is now available sitewide! Please check this thread for more info.

Eeyore 17/12/14(Thu)04:09 No. 5659 ID: 0c2267 [Reply]
5659

File 151322094987.jpg - (203.81KB , 1440x900 , 581870.jpg )

is the music on /grim/ gone now or is it just in my browser? i haven't been here for a while and this time there's no music.. i really miss it. i think it really added to the atmosphere of this board and made it a lot more.. hm.. it's difficult to explain. it felt like, as an example, the areas with the merchant in RE4.


also, looking up suicide methods and doing research on effective and efficient methods of self-termination is very comforting to me. i find solace in knowing there is a way out.


>>
Eeyore 17/12/15(Fri)16:39 No. 5660 ID: b2d00d

>>5659
It's an embedded youtube in an iframe; check your security and adblocking settings.

<iframe width="1" height="1" src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/tWhUPlFnAe8?autoplay=1&loop=1&playlist=tWhUPlFnAe8&wmode=opaque" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>




Footsteps in the Darkness Eeyore 17/11/11(Sat)09:33 No. 5623 ID: 355ab2 [Reply]
5623

File 151038920933.jpg - (2.82KB , 300x168 , images-1.jpg )

Thud, Thud, Thud, Thud. You open your eyes from your deep and dreamless sleep. You try to look over to where the noise is coming from. Thud, Thud, Thud, Thud. But you realize you can't move. Your eyes are straining, tilting to look at the door. That sound, it must be coming from outside your room. You can make out the shadow of someone standing outside from thee crack in between the door and the cold floor. You want to move as fear fills you, you feel it in every inch of your body like a poison. You're muscles strain as you muster all your strength to move, but you can't. Maybe if you scream loud enough someone will hear you. You yell at the top of your lungs, but the only sound that escapes from you may as well have been a gasp. You're thinking to yourself somebody, anybody, GOD HELP ME!!! SAVE ME! PLEASE... Thud, Thud, Thud, its coming closer. you're losing your vision as your peripheral vision goes out of focus and darkens. Your hearing seems as though its being drowned out by the very definition of darkness itself, like waves crashing against a cliffside as you're being held underwater. You can hardly breathe anymore every breathe is feeling closer to being your last. Thud... Thud... Thud... footsteps in the darkness. Thud... Thud... Thud... The dark figure stands right next to your bed. You can feel it, you know its there, but you can't see it. SAVE ME!!! OH GOD!!! SAVE ME PLEASE!!! The words echo in your mind, this must be the end. Those footsteps in the darkness, to whom do they belong?


>>
Eeyore 17/12/09(Sat)11:06 No. 5656 ID: cc4c6a

my penis




Eeyore 17/11/15(Wed)03:10 No. 5629 ID: 50db27 [Reply]
5629

File 151071185818.png - (756.64KB , 1920x1080 , Screenshot from 2017-11-15 11-12-20.png )

I wonder how high-temperature rapid incineration is as a way to go.

I know burning to death is pretty bad, like people who self-immolate or die in house fires, etc. but that's slow, and low-temp. They get cooked to death. Would it be any better if it were hot enough to turn you to ash in minutes?


4 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>>
Eeyore 17/12/02(Sat)13:03 No. 5648 ID: 27723a

>>5636
I think I found the video you're talking about. The quality is very low, but it looks like he's converted to steam or smoke quite rapidly. It's not that I'm suicidal, but I am fascinated with this particular kind of death. I wonder what he felt, if he felt anything, and how long it took him to die. It's a shame he didn't have the experience scientifically observed.


>>
Eeyore 17/12/02(Sat)22:11 No. 5649 ID: 8bf12e

>>5648
Death might be so fast that the pain doesn't register, so to speak. On the other hand it could be agonizing and a lot longer than you'd imagine.


>>
Eeyore 17/12/05(Tue)04:44 No. 5651 ID: e52900

>>5650
I've thought about it before. Sometimes I wonder if the pain from a shotgun blast would hurt.

Overdosing on sedatives, especially "pleasurable" ones, is probably painless.

Incineration is an entirely different thing.

More often, people fall into molten vats by accident. Here's one example: http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/07/09/new.jersey.chocolate.death/.




Eeyore 17/11/07(Tue)23:45 No. 5617 ID: b82db7 [Reply]
5617

File 151009472396.png - (134.07KB , 433x334 , KUjLU19.png )

I'm so lonely, I have no friends in rl, no do i care about anyone in rl or online...I try to act funny, be nice, or even stupid...just to make others happy. I do this because I cant feel emotions because of my medications I take...I cant say what they are but the pills i take are to help me live my life everyday...happy, weird, nice...but so empty, so cold. The moment I took these pills i knew i wouldn't be the same old me. Its been 4 years since I first took them...and I'm...lost. I cant feel emotions, I laugh at people in pain, I became more hungry for emotions that People who cry turn me on. These pills keep me sane, keeps me from hurting anyone else or myself everyday. I just want friends who can understand me, who just want me to be me. Who are just there for me when I need them. Honestly, I think about killing myself everyday, I see hallucinations of my own death, hear whispers in the night telling me to kill myself and I hear them, in the night, every-night. I just. I dont want to be alone anymore...I dont want to be alone anymore...I dont want to be alone anymore...I dont want to be alone...help me.


>>
WMB 17/11/21(Tue)06:51 No. 5640 ID: 223ae4

>>5617
Hey, I know you might never see this, it's basically a fact. But, I have been putting off getting a diagnosis, but I have a strong feeling that I need to be medicated. I've actually been looking at my gun to answer it. I've been waking up to just freaking out of my problems and distracting myself with drugs and alcohol-

My point is, did you feel like you lost yourself in the medication? I feel so different from others but I've learned to grasped it. But this person I've chosen only wants peace.

Peace from needing to pay to live.
Peace from needing to spend my life with another.
Peace from needing to be happy.
Peace from needing to live.

I just want to rot away, still as a rock, and free as a bird.


>>
Eeyore 17/11/30(Thu)23:44 No. 5646 ID: 8bf12e

>>5640
death is peaceful
A bird is alive. If a bird dies, it's not free anymore, it's dead. Being dead is not like being a bird, it's like chair or a pen. It's not peace, it's inaninmence.

>is the medication good?
Who knows what medication OP is talking about. Antipsychotics can treat psychosis, but they don't always, and they often have serious side effects. If a case is hopeful, the goal is to put an end to the acute episode (it can take a few months to several years) and to ween off the medication.




Depression sucks Eeyore 17/11/16(Thu)04:10 No. 5634 ID: f83095 [Reply]
5634

File 151080180841.jpg - (1.24MB , 2448x3264 , FullSizeRender.jpg )

I just started the life I've been wanting. I have my lovely boyfriend and we just had a baby together. We're about to move into a house together too. I really do love this man. He is my everything. Our baby is our everything.

But my depression has consumed me completely. I actually feel like I'm losing it all, everything that I've worked for. I keep holding myself back, all I've been giving myself is hate and shame. I feel like I've been a terrible mother. My anxiety gets the best of me. I'm so afraid of not being enough for my daughter. I feel so guilty for the pressure this puts on my boyfriend. He is always there for me, even after seeing me at my worst. But I still can't escape the fear of something interfering our relationship. I'm so afraid of disppointing him. He gets so frustrated with me when I fall into my episodes of bad depression.
This is definitely where I dissapoint him.
He sees me curled up on the ground with spit and snot all over my face, hair, and clothes. He sees me hitting myself in the face. He hears me saying that I want to hurt myself and that I think I'm not enough.
He can't handle this. I shouldn't blame him.

I just lose myself. In fact, I feel fucking crazy.
Thoughts take over and bully me. It all overlaps like a group of people standing around me talking shit while I'm on my knees crying. I cry, I scream, I hit myself, I break things and knock things over without any self control. I even hit him once. I immediately regret these things and then my head is filled with shame and even more self hate.

I get so sensitive. My heart feels like it's literally breaking when I'm criticized. Or when I've done something wrong, even on accident.

I can't get myself out of this sick cycle.

It's ruining my relationship with my boyfriend.
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.


>>
Eeyore 17/11/20(Mon)01:59 No. 5637 ID: 27614a

>>5634
These things are not even abnormal. People who tend towards depression often have their depression triggered by major life changes, positive or negative. You should look up postpartum depression. That might be something productive to do.

Guilt and sensitivity to criticism is a very normal manifestations of depression. If you have ever gotten help from a counselor, you know this.

Women hit men very often, despite gender rolls suggesting otherwise. You probably hit your boyfriend to hurt him emotionally, as an uncontrolled primal reaction. You probably did not throw a punch that was strong enough injure him, and maybe you couldn't if you tried - this is why women hit their boyfriends quite often.

Feeling crazy is also a common thing in depressed people, since depression can lead to psychosis. You probably should get off the chans and go seek help from a counselor or at least a trusted friend, for your own sake at least.


>>
Eeyore 17/11/20(Mon)02:02 No. 5638 ID: 27614a

>>5634
Also, if you see a clinical therapist and are offered drugs, know that SSRI's and SNRI's very, very commonly cause sexual side-effects. Antipsychotics, another class of medication, are very dangerous. Antipsychotics don't kill people very often, but they cause a lot of permanent side-effects that affect quality of life.


>>
Eeyore 17/11/20(Mon)02:11 No. 5639 ID: 27614a

>>5634
I know this is not emotionally supportive, but you have to know that you'll be fine so long as you act intelligently and stay determined. In the spirit of /grim/, you should know that once you get better, you'll feel like this again. But then you'll pull through again, and feel better for a time. Such is life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugJfjmxOR2I




Everything hurts but I still feel numb Eeyore 17/11/14(Tue)06:33 No. 5627 ID: 2b2bcd [Reply]
5627

File 151063761430.jpg - (62.06KB , 516x291 , 1505103719439.jpg )

I don't know where else to go. I don't trust people to help me and I'm not even sure If I want any.

Every day I continue living just hurts more than the last and I find it increasingly more difficult to push myself to keep going.

The only thing keeping alive anymore is the one person who I feel has ever cared about me and she's not going to live much longer. After she's gone I'm scared of what I'll become or what I'll do.

I don't mean to bitch and put my problems on anyone but please just give me some advise. At least an effective way to end it if nothing else. That's all I ask.


>>
Eeyore 17/11/14(Tue)08:07 No. 5628 ID: f1690d

Advise about what?


>>
Eeyore 17/11/15(Wed)22:24 No. 5632 ID: 5d5040

>>5627
You said the problem yourself.

>I don't trust people to help me, and I might want to be helped.

It will feel considerably better to believe there is help, even if that help never arrives. Faith in a positive outcome is enough to push through hardship until things get better, even if a direct form of assistance never arrives.

>I'm scared of what I'll become, or what I'll do, once this person close to me dies.
That is still up to you. Trust me. Forget all of that "there is no free will" crap. Try to be open-minded. Imagine all of the possibilities that life will bring once you push through the depression and grief. You can be a happier, healthier person again.

People who are open to help, and change, pull through states of severe depression a vast majority of the time. In the lower to moderate states of depression, it is very possible to work towards feeling better.

Your state of depression is separate from this person passing. You will have to combat this depression either way. A person in a more positive mental state can take feelings like anger or loneliness and convert them into productivity. Obviously, productivity can be put towards purposeful ends, such as finding another caring friend.

There is going to be grief in life no matter what you do. Just do the right thing and take life as it comes. We usually imagine our reactions to future events as stronger than they really are. Then, especially if we spend a lot of time pondering alone, we report feeling numb.
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.




Done with life Eeyore 17/10/09(Mon)05:04 No. 5560 ID: 788593 [Reply]
5560

File 150751825130.jpg - (288.34KB , 750x1060 , AzQ0D1X.jpg )

So this is it for me I think. And no I won't kill myself, I will explain my situation as short as I can.

A girl I was for 4 years abandoned me in a hard moment where a couple of friends passed away and I was in a financial crisis, even about to be kicked out of the house I'm currently living in.

And I tried being nice, I really tried but life fucks us all I guess and I don't feel like being nice anymore. I helped her through several shit, even made her get rid of bulimia but at the end she was an ungrateful cunt. So I decided I may leak everything I have of her because fuck it. Not here obviously because is not the right board, but I'm gonna do it for the lulz even send it to her parents.

I want to get rid of this pain, of the heartbreak, of feeling sorry for myself and just fuck life in return and just move on and become stronger and I feel like this is the only way I can do it. People change us, and this is the only way I can stop loving her, through hate. And all I'm gonna ask is, does she deserve it?


4 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>>
Eeyore 17/11/04(Sat)21:53 No. 5606 ID: a57be3

>>5579
Also this. We're only getting one side of your story, OP. Maybe you did some things that were wrong too. You certainly sound like someone who may have.

>The bulimia would come back if you did this.
Don't tell him that.


>>
Eeyore 17/11/11(Sat)02:45 No. 5622 ID: 44d49f

But isn't it illegal to spread somebody's nudes? I mean like if you did it on various chans, nobody would give a shit. But if you sent it to her parents, wouldn't they know it's you?


>>
Eeyore 17/11/13(Mon)02:23 No. 5626 ID: 1533c8

>>5606
He knows, subconsciously at least. That's why he'd do it. He wants to take back everything he ever gave her. I know the feeling; it hurts like that the first time.




Eeyore 17/10/21(Sat)13:43 No. 5572 ID: 807c00 [Reply]
5572

File 150858618338.png - (74.89KB , 406x289 , Screen-Shot-2012-01-08-at-1_29_48-AM.png )

Apartment's filling up with clutter.
Food's rotting in the fridge.
Haven't washed dishes in a week.
Didn't do laundry for two.
Stopped returning anyone's calls days ago.


>>
Eeyore 17/11/04(Sat)21:56 No. 5607 ID: a57be3

Yikes, sounds like my ex. The solution is to fix all of those problems you listed. They might feel monumental due to the state you're in right now, but they're not.

You might want to see a social worker/counselor too. My ex didn't pick her stuff up off the floor until a few weeks into more intensive therapy.


>>
Eeyore 17/11/07(Tue)07:29 No. 5615 ID: d75d96

>>5607
>They might feel monumental due to the state you're in right now, but they're not.
It's true. Being aware of it doesn't help, but I did finally manage to get things cleaned up and reestablish communication with the outside world. I went to a psychiatrist in the past; did some therapy and some meds. I'm much better than I used to be, but I still get these occasional lapses.


>>
Eeyore 17/11/07(Tue)23:52 No. 5618 ID: 5a5edd

>>5615
Yeah, same here. Everyone's lapses look different, and an unkept house for one person might be more or less serious than for another.

Also, good. Personally, when I'm on my own and not well (it really depends), contact with the outside world makes a big difference.




Eeyore 17/10/29(Sun)01:43 No. 5581 ID: dbafc2 [Reply]
5581

File 150923422525.png - (602.90KB , 630x630 , 1490596583716.png )

We will all die. Personally , the thought makes me happy. It takes the fear of messing up on anything and shyness away. It also makes me sad to know that I'll probably kill myself even if I say that I shouldn't care since we all die. fuck.


>>
Eeyore 17/11/04(Sat)21:38 No. 5603 ID: a57be3

You're right that nothing has what we call an objective purpose, not even life. Nihilism and suicide are very weak, though. It's up to us to create our own meaning in life, to find the things that we truly like. If you're just going to die anyway, and nothing matters, then there is no point in committing suicide.


>>
Eeyore 17/11/05(Sun)07:15 No. 5610 ID: 646461

>>5603
Thank you so very much


>>
Eeyore 17/11/05(Sun)21:28 No. 5612 ID: 1aa6d9

>>5610
just trying to think of what Nietzsche would say about Nihilism and suicide. he thought about it a lot. he had a disorder that caused terrible migraines and eventually killed him.




Eeyore 17/09/01(Fri)08:10 No. 5541 ID: e6b706 [Reply]
5541

File 15042462014.jpg - (5.99KB , 277x182 , i.jpg )

I'm a fat,acne-ridden, aspie fuck with trichotillomania. I have friends but they're all leaving my current school, which I transferred to because I'm too much of cuck to admit that I bullied my best friend from my old school. I excel in everything I do, but none of it makes me happy. I don't feel whole. I used to be a normal, pretty, gifted girl, but then I found the *chans. Now, my social life consists of being a servant to my friends. I want to be a normie again. I don't want to become a miserable heap of garbage in my parent's basement. Why did I become this? I want to remember myself.


2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>>
Eeyore 17/09/12(Tue)13:52 No. 5548 ID: 6e42c2
5548

File 150521717224.png - (809.29KB , 1334x750 , IMG_0980.png )

It sounds like you're uncomfortably aware of what's happening! I'd rather not speak about the more physical and social repurcussions of My Great Depression (middle school on, standard Major Depressive Package really. no complaints. I've got a mild version I'm sure and it should clear up any day now :D :D :D) picking away at my fingers and toes but that happened to me and I kept going even while feeling utter disgust with myself. it was like I needed proof my methods were flawed. I tried being super neutral and petitioning what I perceived to be larger intellectual bodies, or their representatives holding onto a corrupt fork of that sweet Truth. then I became convinced intellectualism was the poison which had brought me to viewing myself as a mote instead of a focal lens strapped into a meatcasket and begging for help from people I despised and looked down upon, and I settled for hating myself by myself

and you know what worked?
just kidding I'm here now I'm twenty and I have no plans. might be homeless soon. my mom is a low-wage sugarbaby for rent and my othergendered counterpart has taken to making up serial killer-esque stories about my childhood because I look like shit now.
I've decided I don't have free will like other people. I have selective control over things. some things I can VETO in my brain. I just say no and I stop, but if there's no framework there I have no options and just stop. otherwise I modulate the intensity of what I'm doing. how much punctuation I bother to use. whether I just rip my fucking hangnail off with my teeth even if it only takes off a few layers and slices into my skin or whether I just graze the underside of the nail with my teeth (I assume I have a very strong immune system at this point...)

as for how to stop smoking weed to the point where it gives you ephysema... well lemme say this. weed will help you on the weekends. it will drag you down the rest of the time. if you smoke more often than every 3 days you will permanently reduce the surface area of your lungs. sorry if that last paragraph was irrelevant to you. sorry if the whole post was, I'm awake and, uh, haven't eaten...


>>
Eeyore 17/09/20(Wed)14:00 No. 5552 ID: 1e22f7

>>5541
The person you used to be is gone; you will never get back there. Do not be discouraged by this truth, but liberated. Your friends are leaving; your social circle will inevitably collapse--make a new one. Go somewhere you never go, talk to people you don't usually talk to (or let them talk to you if approaching strangers causes too much anxiety).

You have nothing but opportunity in this cold, indifferent universe.


>>
Eeyore 17/11/04(Sat)22:02 No. 5609 ID: d24851

>>5541
Christ, you sound like a disturbed personality. Your story is egocentric, self-contradictory, and doesn't seem to have any specific order.

All you admitted to was being poisonous to others and that you want better things for yourself. Have you considered being less poisonous to others?




Delete post []
Password  
Report post
Reason